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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by making fun of my wife's flatulence (NSFW)

Obligatory 'this happened last night'

Some background:

My wife and I have been together for almost a decade. She's a great match for me; we're both sci-fi and LOTR nerds, we do Renaissance Fairs, etc. (Remember Lord of the Rings for later) But like anyone, she has her... peculiarities.

She's incredibly bashful about bodily functions. Doesn't want me around when she's on the toilet, etc.

Also she has health issues and takes a lot of different medications. Her primary care Dr started her on a new medication that gives her gas.

And thus the scene is set for my fuck up.

Last night, right after we got in bed, my wife farted. And when l say she farted, l mean it sounded like a howitzer firing. It scared the cat off the bed and rattled the windows, the sheets were billowing like sails on a 3 masted schooner and the dog started barking.

She looked over at me, it was obvious that she was horrified by what she had done. Me, l thought it was funny, and in the moment did something l should not have done.

I squeezed out a fart, looked at her, and solemnly declared "Gondor calls, Rohan shall answer!" and burst out laughing.

My wife was... not amused. She hasn't spoken to me all day.

TL;DR My wife farted, l made a LOTR joke of it, she's big mad.

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