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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by sitting on a strawberry

Started work at a farm today, me and some folks were picking berries. Since strawberries grow close to the ground, and I don’t want my legs or back to kill me, I decided to sit down to pick them. Once I was done an area, I’d shuffle backwards further down the row.

While doing so, I felt something wet. Checked it and it was just some rainwater on a leaf. Ignored it. Same thing kept happening, so I eventually just stopped checking behind me. My mistake.

Eventually I finished my flat and got up to get a new one. Decide to have a bathroom break beforehand. Got to the bathroom, my underwear has a very red stained spot on it. It totally looks like my ass was bleeding — I check my pants, same issue.

So, TIFU by staining my clothes in a very awkward way. Hoping nobody cared enough to notice while I was around town after work.

TL;DR: sat on a strawberry while berry picking, made it look like I had rectal bleeding

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