Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU By Using Children’s Advil As Lube

As the title suggests, took the wife on a romantic weekend getaway in the mountains. We wanted to start the weekend with sex, so we got right into it shortly after checking into the resort. The luggage we used had previously been used on a family trip with the kids, and we had some poured some liquid children’s Advil into a small Tupperware shot glass container with a lid. We used the same type of container on this trip and filled it with coconut oil, which is our go to. They apparently have similar viscosities. In the heat of the moment I grabbed the wrong one and used it without hesitation. Everything seemed fine until I switched up the pace by going down on her. I noticed that she tasted….. fruity. Like a strange chemical cherry flavour. I took me a couple minutes to realize what was going on and it was at the moment I knew I’d fucked up. I stopped, the wife asked what was up and I had to tell her that I’d just fucked her with Advil. Oddly, it was very difficult to find information on Google about the safety of Advil that’s been liberally applied to the inside of a vagina. However my wife is a trooper and after a few minutes when everything seemed to be fine, we grabbed the correct product and finished the deed. No harmful after effects.

TL/DR - accidentally used Advil as lube and there were no harmful consequences.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...