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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by wiping with mint toothpaste

Scene: We got our kid one of those full mouth toothbrushes and those require a foaming toothpaste. So it sits out on the bathroom counter. We also use a cleaning foam instead of flushable wipes because they’re not really that flushable. This also sits out on the counter

They look like this: https://imgur.com/gallery/ki1xjwl

I’m sure you can sense where this is going. Over the weekend I’d eaten some spicy Thai food, which you know, has its own downsides. Monday, I’m going about my business and finish with a cleaning foam wipe. All of a sudden things are on fire back there. I assume it’s because of the Thai food so I’m uncomfortable but what could I do about it. I stand up and walk away. Now the burning has increased and it’s starting to sting. I’m in a lot of pain. The Thai food was spicy but it wasn’t so spicy that it should be causing this kind of a reaction. Unfortunately for me, I have to get on a video call with my boss. I’ve got no chance to do anything else but writhe in pain for the next 30 minutes.

It wasn’t until later that day when I go to help my kid with their teeth that I see the toothpaste uncapped on the counter. The wiping foam is nowhere to be seen in the bathroom. And this is the moment I realized I wiped my ass with mint toothpaste and that’s where the extreme burning and pain came from.

Tldr: I wiped my ass with mint toothpaste thinking it was butt cleaning foam.

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