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TIFU: Accidentally did Auto Theft

So it's been a fairly standard week, work, routine family stuff, sober January to make up for the holiday season..... I'm spending some time this month getting some overdue vehicle maintenance done, so I got up earlier than usual and got my truck dropped off at the body shop. Was worrying the car rental pickup would be late and I'd be late getting back home for getting my daughter off to school, you know, the after the bell - walk of shame kind of thing. So rental guy shows up on time, super casual small talk, so friendly, great service, gets me dropped off at the rental shop....and he goes, that's what your driving. I look over, its a new 2024 f150 supercrew xlt, so I'm stoked (mines a 2013) it's already running warm, emergency lights blinking. He says "just go in" , so I walk over and hop in. "Whoa sweet huge screen in the console, I'm thinking, oh it's so nice and warm in here (cold morning - canada probs). Then ya, I pull out of the lot, drive home. I tell my wife what a premium rental service arranged by the body shop, how friendly the driver was and how they didn't even take my ID, credit card or signature, they must've got it from some integration between their systems I say to her. I get my daughter to school on time. I was doing work from home today, so I sign in, start my shift. Doorbell rings, wife answers, she comes to the office and is like, the car rental lady is here, they say you stole that truck and the police are waiting there. My insides twist and turn, I realize what's happened now. Drive the truck back down to the rental shop, all I can think is, did i really f*cking do this, did i steal some poor dudes truck or was it actually the rental??? I pull in, do the standard rental paperwork and convo (w the police watching over my shoulder), complete the walkthrough outside for damage w the rental lady who had to come find me at the house. Then, I realize, I've parked literally in the worst place, it's a fairly loaded compact parking lot, only 1 exit. I had to reverse out, slowly, so, so ,slowly, all while the police and rental shop workers watched me struggle past the police car.

TLDR: Haven't slept well this week, auto-piloted and did auto theft. Got daughter to school on time.

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