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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by thinking my deaf friend’s shaking bed was an earthquake

so i used to date this girl awhile back, we’ll call her jess. jess has treacher collins syndrome. she’s nearly deaf and wears hearing aids, and has had over 12 surgeries on her face. jess and i dated for a year and then broke up, as we were just better off as friends.

i remember when we were dating and we’d start to argue, she’d take her hearing aids off and turn away from me. this used to piss me off so bad, but now it’s just funny. anyways, we definitely operate better as friends. in the past we’d always sleep at my house. and the other day we decided to have a sleepover at hers for the first time and i was super excited.

everything goes super great and it’s fun, and then we decide it’s time for bed. jess obviously takes off her hearing aids when she sleeps (she’s got screws in her head, and her hearing aids just click into place) so there’s no talking to her after that point. sometime around 5am, i wake up to violent shaking. i’m talking like, the bed is rocking back and forth, jumping up and down, and vibrating.

my first thought is “oh my god, an earthquake.” even though we live in colorado. now, i have no idea what to do in an earthquake but i figured we needed to get under a table or something. Jess is sleeping peacefully through all of this. i turn on the lights and frantically shake her awake, then scream at her we need to take cover. i jump off the bed and onto the floor, and… nothing is happening.

Jess is staring at me, absolutely bewildered. she clicks her hearing aids into place and asks me what the hell is wrong with me. i have no idea how to explain myself at this point, so i motion to her bed, which is still shaking. she laughs and tells me since she’s deaf, her bed is her alarm clock. her dad installed something, somewhere, that makes it shake.

we had a good laugh about it and went back to sleep afterwards. i will never forget that level of panic, though. i almost shit my pants in her bed.

tl;dr- my friend is deaf and her bed shakes to wake her up

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