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TIFU by letting my girlfriend’s pee get in my ears

Obligatory *this did not entirely happen today.*

My (23f) girlfriend (23f) and I are pretty experimental with sex. We’ll try anything once. (Some things we won’t be trying twice, such as this.)

We were staying in a remote house for our anniversary weekend over the summer, and we decided to have some outdoor sex. Because we were outside, we realized we could try peeing on each other, which we had wanted to try for a while, but hadn’t been able to due to the clean up.

Well, when she went to piss on me, it accidentally dribbled down onto my face and into both of my ears. No biggie, I just shook it out and we carried on.

I should take the opportunity now to pause and say that I have had eustachian tube dysfunction since childhood. I have had 12 sets of tubes, and issues with my ears all my life. This is important later.

So when she peed into my ears, the piss traveled through the tubes and settled behind my eardrums I guess. This caused a pretty nasty infection that withstood 5 rounds of antibiotics. (My gf must have like, nuclear piss?) My tubes were fucked, and I had to go in for a surgery. My girlfriend felt pretty bad, but I mostly thought it was funny. Piss-induced surgery. Lol.

The doctor informed me that this would likely be my last set of tubes, and that due to the extensive damage to my eardrums, he wouldn’t be able to place another set. He said that I am probably going to need my eardrums REMOVED and RECONSTRUCTED before I’m thirty years old.

But hey. It was kinda worth it. I had some of the best sex of my life that day.

EDIT: I’M A GIRL!!!!

TLDR: I asked my girlfriend to piss on my face on our anniversary. The piss got in my ears, gave me a double ear infection for 4 months that required surgery to fix, and now they are considering reconstructing my eardrums due to the extensive piss-damage. 💀

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