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TIFU: Set my self on Fire Cleaning my Bong

Yes this happened today and yes this is 100% my fault, but I felt like I needed to throw this out on the internet so someone knows I did it. This is not the first time I've done this, but lessons are learned now..

This morning while my teens slept and my wife was at work I decided to clean my bong. Yup Dad was hoping to have a nice clean piece for fathers day and with no one needing anything I thought this would be like any other time. Off to the basement I went with my favorite glass pipe in hand. Quick rinse out, plug open ports, and proceed to fill to about the brim with 91% isopropyl alcohol. I then take my broiling torch (its a high output torch for broiling food but repurposed) and proceed to heat the glass directly where the tough spots are until the glass sizzles a little bit and you see the particulates dissipate. I then swirl it a little to spread the heat around. I normally don't fill to the top (think of like a 16" tall ice breaker bong with a few dissolvers/bubblers in between) but I was thinking I could also get the dissolvers/bubblers in between if I filled it. Why do I do this? Well some where forever ago I read that if you warm the iso it will clean faster/better. My thought, for better or worse, was to heat the glass to heat the iso.

Now at some point in my handling, spinning, and heating routine some of the iso came out in my palm. Waived my hand a bit to "dry it off" and continued my business. Well Next time I flicked the torch the hand holding the bong light up too.. so my hand is now on fire. The fire jumps from my hand up the glass and into the top of the bong which still has quite a bit of iso in it too. I drop the bong to the basement concrete floor and that cracked off the top 6 inches of glass which now means I have iso on the floor on fire as well as my hand. In short order I was able to get my hand out though I did panic initially. With the help of the giant dog water dish I also keep in the basement and some towels I got everything beat out and luckily nothing else got damaged other than my bong. I will say my hand was very warm like I cooked it for about an hour; held an ice pack for a bit too though aside from a few blisters I got off super lucky.

Lessons were learned today but other than the internet no one knows what happened this morning. Not me waving around my flaming hand, the basement floor on fire, or why a lot of stuff is wet because here we are hours later wife isn't home and the teens could care less where I am and most of its cleaned up.

TL;DR: Decided to clean the bong, lit my hand on fire, and the floor in the basement. Don't be me kids!

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