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TIFU by accidentally traumatizing myself over acne.

BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR MEDICAL STUFF!

So, obligatory "this didn't happen today" but rather a few days ago, but I'm still shaken up by it.

Background info: I (26 NB) have stubborn acne that I'm trying to get rid of but haven't seen a dermatologist about yet, so I just deal with it myself.

One specific type of acne that I get is very deep and VERY easily spread, so they kinda stay dormant after I try to remove them despite the cleaning and cream.

I got one of these in the back of my earlobe, which hurt like hell and I removed what I could like usual and it went dormant again. Cut to a few days ago and it feels itchy, I check the mirror and yup, it's ready to be taken care of. I figured "hey, since this one is on a thin piece of skin and not my cheek or chin, maybe I can remove it fully!" So I clean it up, take a before picture, and get to removing.

WARNING, THIS PARAGRAPH IS GRAPHIC!

I gently puncture the top layer of skin (sideways, so it doesn't go in the skin and risk infection) and some stuff come out. Ok, so far it's normal. I remove it with some tissue paper. Then I try to rip the thin skin over it a little more with my thumb and finger while holding the tissue paper... and just like a nightmare, a literal blob is pulled out. Slightly bloody. Looked like a snail. 1 CM in length.

I am immediately queasy and put the paper on the little bathroom mirror shelf as I quickly get cotton pads with cleaning solution onto the near dripping wound on the back of my earlobe. I managed to take some more pictures for the future dermatologist because WTF. I'm shaken up for the rest of the day and barely eat because how can I have an appetite after THAT?!?

It's now a few days later and I'm still not okay. The whole thing somehow triggered my already existing PTSD that's completely unrelated, so I've been having to deal with flashbacks on top of coming to terms with the fact that that wasn't a nightmare and it actually happened. Just writing this out is making me shakey, queasy, and I'm getting a cold sweat. Just going to gently clean my face with a cotton pad and skin cleaning solution is causing a reaction now, so I have to think of how to deal with that as well... but hey, at least the wound is looking okay!

TLDR: played dermatologist with unknown acne, accidentally traumatized myself and triggered my pre-existing and unrelated PTSD.

(PS. I know this post isn't 750 characters, but I hope it's still okay to post this fuck up.)

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