greenmangostudio

This morning, I woke up late for work and was in a frantic rush to get ready. I grabbed what I thought were my jeans, threw on a shirt, and ran out the door. I made it to work just in time tho. Sat down amd noticed that my jeans felt a little tight, I reached into my pocket and discovered that the jeans I was wearing had fake pockets. I spent the rest of the day not going around at all. Stayed in my desk and coming up with reason to not go out for lunch. I was paranoid that everyone in the room could tell I was wearing women's jeans!!!! I called my girlfriend multiple times until she answered. Brought me a pair of my jeans. Still, I was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone who might have noticed and this day could not have been more embarassing. TL;DR: I accidentally wore my girlfriend's jeans to work, leading to an awkward and embarrassing day at the office.

I am 6'7. I am also a healthy weight for someone 8 feet tall, but i digress. Today I went shopping at a grocery store, to buy food to keep myself and my family alive, much like the hunters of old. When I walked into the store I saw a older woman trying to reach something on a shelf that was too high. She was trying to climb up to get it. I ran over and asked her if I could grab it for her. She said yes and told me what she needed. No problem. I grabbed it handed it to her and started walking away and i hear, "sir?" I look back and she asks for another thing. ok, its also high, a shelf lower, but still....could be a stretch. so i walk back and grab it. then I notice that she has put her cart next to mine. when i walk she walks. she starts telling me about her day, her medical ailments, lots of talk, broken up by her now just pointing at things she wants me to grab. not up high, not floor level, everything. I tried to go to the meat section and she grabbed my arm and sai...

So me and my friend were going home from school, we went on anorher path where we never went before, we were joking. And we ended up in front of anorher house, there was a fence, so I said: 'lets jump it to get a shortcut", ik im stupid. And my friend said no way, I went anyways... While I was jumping the fence my pants hooked on the fence and made noise, and here comes the worst part, two elderly people where standing there JUST WATCHING ME as I looked like a lost idiot JUMPING A FENCE veryyy slowly. They didn't say ANYTHING, just stood there. Then I started running for no reason and note I didn't know they saw me (my friend told me later). Then I just kept going and ended up in another backyard, while the owner was MOWING the yard. I just ignored them and they were just watching me... Now when I look back at it I was such an idiot TL;DR: My friend and I where going home from school and my two elderly neighbors were watching as I jumped a fence (they didn't kn...

Literally just happened. My office had a St. Patricks Day potluck and Human Resources provided the punch. I was sitting at my desk and saw one of the HR ladies walk by with a couple of those big bottles of like green punch. I said “woah” implying that she was strong etc. Well she turned around and asked me if I liked her “jugs”. I think I turned into the red lobster (for those of you who may inquire, she’s a married woman 10 years older than me) But wait- there’s more She walked back with the OTHER Human Resources lady who was carrying one of those large food warmers. That HR lady asked if I liked her hot box. I’m dying. But at least I know HR probably doesn’t take sexual harassment too seriously lol TLDR Human Resources made sexual innuendo jokes to me while cleaning up after a St. Patrick’s Day Work Party. Not sure if punch was spiked. Happy Early St. Patrick’s Day?

I was out with friends at this new japanese restaurant, and a bunch of teenagers came up to me and convinced I was this actor from the movie Oppenheimer. I guess I kinda look like him because this isn't the first time i'm hearing this, and I was feeling goofy so I was like, "Yep, that's me!",mostly as a joke. Well, then that group totally freaked out and took autographs, selfies and everything. Before I knew it, the entire restaurant was buzzing because this "celebrity" was there. The staff even offered to give me free coupen card too lol The guilt started to get me.Finally, I told the manager that I wasn't who they thought and told him i was joking around with those kids and he was cool about it, but man, my friends are never going to let me live this down. TL;DR: Played a joke about being a celebrity, accidentally got treated like one for an hour.

We actually spent the whole day together after not seeing each other for a while since we live far away from each other now. We went to the mall, got beers, and then went to the show. The context now needed is that I’ve loved this girl since the 10th grade and unfortunately she’s never reciprocated those feelings. But of course we stayed friends and as I got a bit older and graduated college I tried to tell myself I was just a dramatic high schooler in love for the first time. But years later after really connecting for the first time in a while throughout the day I knew I was lying to myself. The band we saw was one that she introduced to me by showing me what I consider to be their best song. I had been hoping so badly that they’d play it and right at the end of the set they did and even tho it was the moment I’d been waiting for the most, all I could do was look over at this girl that I’ve realized I am still very much in love with. All I could think about was putting my arm around...

Happened earlier this week but alas, the FU remains. That day was a 5x3 week at 80% I barely made it through my bench press and my wife and I were about to start our working sets for squats. I had a Scottish highland games competition last weekend so my legs were already sore. I loaded up 315lb and got ready. I lifted it off the rack and already it felt like 355. First rep was hard but I made it through. Then I took a deep breath and prepared for what would become my final rep. The gas inside me loaded itself into the chamber. As I decended into prime explosion position the bomb went off announcing it's arrival in spectacular fashion. Embarrassment getting the better of me I looked around and no one seemed to notice... except for my wife, desperately trying not to laugh. This made me laugh and my braced core crumpled and I fell into full squat position with little hope of being able to press it back up. At this moment I had failed and needed to bail onto the ironically named ...