greenmangostudio

Obligatory - this wasn't today. It was about 2004, when I was a young, young adult, not even old enough to drink.. Also obligatory - I remembered this story because of another recent post, so yeah. TLDR at the end. Bit of set up here - I was a student at a local culinary institute; passionate; I was gonna be the next Michelin star chef in my town (lol, little me's delusions didn't last). I had recently graduated the practicum course and was in the 'main building' of the institute, downtown. So exciting for little me. I was commuting almost 3 hours each way, as well as working two jobs to pay the bills. (this matters) So little me is so thrilled to be making real recipes now, not just basic sauces and practicing cutting skills. But little me is tired, overworking myself, and taking lots of caffeine & ephedra pills to function (this was right before ephedra was banned). Maybe I was not at peak awareness, as I felt I was. So this fateful day, I recall we are...

So I accidentally gave myself a black eye.... though technically my husband gave it to me.... We were preparing to be intimate. Clothes were flying in all directions, hearts were pounding; you know how it goes. Well, I decided to gift my husband with some well deserved oral. I got down on my knees and he let me go to town. All was going great... I must have either been getting too into it, it was dark, or he was adjusting his position; or some combination of all the above. Next thing I know; he’s out of my mouth a few inches higher than he was a few seconds ago. I’m still in full head bob mode. Without realizing he’s moved... WHAM!! Slammed my eye right into him..... basically was like he was trying to face fuck my eye socket. It hurt; but we were both dying of laughter. We finished up and went to the bathroom to clean up. Huge black eye. I looked like a raccoon.... Now everyone who sees me is asking what happened. They don’t believe me if I say “it was a stupid accident” they want...

We're in Canada. He works shift work in the Oil Sands, I work a 9-5. We like to eat clean and workout. My bf came home late last night, then we worked out together in our basement gym. Right before bed, he noticed that there wasn't any chicken prepped for meals today. It was already late and I didn't have to wake as early as him (we are usually up at 5am) so I offered to put the chicken in the oven, set an alarm, then wake up to take it out and make his meals. Solid plan. We got ready for bed and I set my alarm for 12:30 AM. I figured that was enough time for our massive tray of protein to bake to perfection. Mid coma, my alarm went off and I zombie walked to the kitchen, completely out of it. I prepped his meals with my eyes closed, gave myself a pat on the back and went to bed again. Bf was happy this morning, rested, all is good in the world. Until about an hour ago I got a call from a random number stating that it seems my 6'4" giant of a boyfriend is at w...

Now we had our occasional fights but I never crossed the line with actually calling her names like that. But to be fair, I kinda saw this happening because I've been stressing out a lot and everything was already getting really annoying to me: people, conversations, answering to their never-ending questions. I've had history of incidents happening out of my anger issue before and mom was also not in the mood that day, after another argument now with her own mother. The reason why I even started it was because she thought that I consumed some pills I was on before the meal while they were supposed to be consumed afterwards. I was angry cause she started outright accusing me and not even giving me break, not giving me any time to explain myself when in fact, I did not consume those pills. I was just getting them ready for the time I'm done with the meal but she didn't understand it. That was the part where I could have just easily eased the situation but nope, I snap ...

As many of the TIFUs, this didn't happen today but rather a few years ago. I (30M) completed all my education in the same town, from primary school up to my master's degree. Which meant that up to that point I did not need to leave the familial home, and lived with my parents until I was about 28-29. But then I found a PhD position in another country, which forced me to leave the nest. When leaving, I took only the essentials with me as I could leave the rest behind without worrying too much about it. After all, I was certainly going to come back and visit my family from time to time. So I took the biggest suitcase I had, packed most of my clothes, some bedsheets, the electronics, etc etc and happily got onto the plane and flew a few thousand miles away to start my new life. All was good. Upon arrival I was lucky enough to find a nice place to rent not even a week after landing (I had an AirBnB in the meantime), so I unpacked all my things and started getting cozy. A few mo...

I am a straight (16) male and I recently bought this for myself to explore parts of my body. I did this without my parents permission or anything else so you wouldn't be surprised to hear my parents were not expecting this. Okay now onto the story. The night before I was looking to pleasure myself and enjoy the night since everyone was asleep and my dad was at work at the time and no one should have been up to find me. I finished up and as I was washing everything down in the bathroom I forgot something. It might have been because I was tired or because I was careless but I made a huge mistake, which was leaving the dildo in there. At least it was clean and all but still it was sitting in there and my sister woke up to find it on the counter. My sister is not someone who knows all about this stuff and can handle it. So she goes to my mom about it and starts to cry (my dad is still asleep since he worked at night.) So now I wake up and my mom comes in my room and says she has to...

To preface this, you'll need to know that I'm 23, and live with my parents (my mom is good about not snooping in my stuff, but my dad won't even bother to check the names on packages that come in). Also, this happened about a month ago... So, anyone who's tried anal before will know that you really, really need proper lubrication, and I masturbate annaly every time I feel the need to do the naughty, so I go through quite a bit of lube. A few years ago I found some anal lube that really works wonders, but the problem is I have to order it straight from China. So, one day I noticed I was running a bit low, went on to aliexpress, and ordered the biggest bottle they carry. Now for the waiting game... But see, one of the issues with ordering things from China, is that you don't really know when it's going to come in the mail. So, about 2 months later, while I was at work, the fated package arrived. I drove home, and was greeted by a very sizable bottle of lube sitt...