greenmangostudio

Tifu, by trying to be thoughtful. So my wife’s birthday is tomorrow May 1. She was out of town on a business trip so I thought I’d be nice and as an extra birthday gift, clean up our standing shower. It’s old and I haven’t really redone the caulk and grout work, so I figured it’d be a nice quick, thoughtful gift. So this morning, while taking the glass door off, to clean it, reapply the bottom water thing, it decided to explode into thousands of tiny glass bombs. Fortunately I wasn’t cut, but I was left with a huge mess, and now our shower has no door. Just initial estimates for a replacement door are around $1000. Jfc. So thank you to whoever thought a glass bomb was a good idea to put where are people taking showers. The next time I even think about doing some work around the house, I’ll remember this day… TLDR: tried to be nice, ended up having a shower door explode in my hands while moving it. Immense regret. Estimates for a new one are around $1000…

About a year ago my mom, sisters, and I took a trip to Canada from the USA. We lived there when I was a baby so my parents have a bank account affiliated with the country. While we were there we doordashed and used that bank account. Today my dad gets his phone blown up from the bank notifying him of his $600 if debt and overdraft fees. My stomach dropped when he messaged the family group chat and my gut told me to check my doordash. Sure enough, it was saved on my account and has been the primary source of payment for the last YEAR. He’s currently fighting with the fraud department over the phone. I showed him the card info on my receipts and he has yet to answer my texts. On top of all of this, yesterday I totaled my car and this is my sweet cherry on top of my bad news. Needless to say, I am now very embarrassed and $600 in surprise debt. 😭🥲 TL;DR I’ve been ACCIDENTALLY using a bank account on doordash that isn’t mine, spent $600 over the last year on it, and now I am scrambling...

I'm in a corporate meeting, and a company wide question was asked. My dumbass responded with 'yo mama'. It just happened and I swear I didn't mean to fucking say it. They were asking about Projected percentages and our solutions to overcome negative variance that we are currently facing. When it came to me, I didn't realize that my mic was on before that, so I just said 'Yo Mama' as a kicker before I would unmute and share a real answer. When I heard my response echo in the background, I fucking froze. I was thinking "shit shit shit, fuck. I'm fired, I'm so fucking fired." Meanwhile my manager is just laughing her ass off at me, almost rolling because she's never in her 25 years heard anyone respond that way. The silence, the fucking silence. I might be screwed guys. "TL;DR:" I yelled 'yo mama' in a corporate meeting today.

My kitchen sink had been draining a little slow for a couple of days. Instead of calling maintenance (I rent), I figured I could fix it myself. I had been doing well saving money lately, picking up small freelance gigs, and I didn’t want to waste it on something I thought would be a five-minute job. First, I tried pouring some baking soda and vinegar down the drain, the internet’s favorite solution. Nothing happened. So I got brave and decided to take apart the P-trap under the sink. I watched a 5-minute YouTube video and figured I had it handled. Well... I did not have it handled. The second I loosened the pipe, a wave of gross, stagnant water exploded out. It didn’t just spill, it shot out across my kitchen floor. In my panic to catch the mess, I bumped the pipe even harder, fully snapping it off the wall connection. Now, instead of a slow drain, I had a full open drain pouring water into my cabinet and floor every time I turned on the faucet (which, of course, I reflexively did ...

Years ago, when I was around 16, a bunch of us neighborhood kids would hang out at a house across the street that had a pool. We were all around the same age—I’m 27 now, and most of them are between 22 and 28. We basically grew up together. That house’s pool was like a community treasure, but the deal was: if you wanted to swim, you had to help clean it. So one hot day, we all pitched in—scrubbing, rinsing, filling it up—until it was crystal clear and ready for a proper pool day. Except one guy didn’t help: our neighbor who, since childhood, has had a… complicated relationship with hygiene. Let’s just say water was his natural enemy. The dude absolutely hated bathing. Every time we teased him about it, he’d swear he did shower—but his greasy hair and perpetual teenage funk always said otherwise. Anyway, we’re all in the pool, having the time of our lives, when he shows up. We start cheering him on, begging him to join us. And surprisingly, he does. He strips down, steps in, and as ...

I (32M), a teacher, decided to grab a coffee after a long day. I brought my work laptop with me because I needed to quickly check emails and make sure the built-in DVD player was actually working. We're starting The Great Gatsby next week, and you know how technology can be. So, I set up at a table, plugged in my headphones, and hit play on the movie to test it out. Then like an absolute idiot, I didn't even think to close my laptop. I just got up and went to the restroom. When I came back, I noticed a commotion near my table. The coffee shop staff looked flustered. As I approached my laptop, one of them quickly apologized, explaining that they had just had to ask someone to leave due to some inappropriate behavior with my computer. I looked down at my screen, and my email inbox was open. This person had apparently decided to have a little fun by mass-deleting my emails. The staff were apologetic but couldn't provide any details about the individual. The damage was done. I...

This happened today and my kitchen still smells like regret and smoke. My girlfriend’s been telling me I should be more romantic and thoughtful, so I decided to cook her a nice dinner at home. I cleaned the apartment, lit some candles, put on some soft music, even wore the shirt (you know, the one that only comes out for Christmas or funerals). Dinner was going surprisingly well. Nothing burned (yet), she was impressed, and I was feeling like Gordon Ramsay minus the yelling. So I figured I’d top it all off by flambéing the dessert. I saw a guy do it on TikTok—it looked easy and dramatic. Spoiler: it was dramatic. Not easy. I poured some rum over caramelized bananas and lit it. Immediately, a pillar of fire shot up like I had just summoned a fire god. The smoke detector started screaming, my cat took off like a missile, my girlfriend yelled, and I, being the genius I am, tried to blow it out like it was a birthday candle. Didn’t work. I ended up throwing the flaming pan into the s...

This happened yesterday and I still want to crawl into a hole. I’ve been grinding at work for months, barely taking any days off, eating instant noodles like a champion. Recently I had a little bit of unexpected extra money come in (long story, but I somehow ended up with an extra $2k)) and I decided, hey, maybe it's time to finally stop living like a raccoon and fix that rattling noise my ancient car does now for past few months. I book an appointment at this super legit auto shop. I'm feeling proud, like a responsible adult for once. I even washed the car beforehand so I wouldn't look like a total gremlin. Anyway, I get there, explain what’s wrong (some weird rattling noise, classic), and the guy nods like he’s seen it all. Says he’ll take a look and I can chill in the waiting room. I sit there scrolling up and down on my phone, minding my business, until about 20 minutes later I hear them call me up. The guy is trying so hard not to laugh. Apparently, the "rattl...

I (17 female) was home alone today, my parents were at my aunts house and they brought our dog with them. I’ve never been home completely alone before because I’ve always had our dog, an Akita, there with me so I’ve never really felt unsafe. My sister (22 female) doesn’t live with us. I was cleaning my room and heard a door open downstairs. I have a lot of pocket knives because my grandpa gets me one every year for Christmas. I grabbed my phone and a knife (This one is about 4 inches) and went to the top of the stairs. I called out and asked if my parents were back early but no one replied, I walked downstairs and my sister jumped out to scare me, panicked and stabbed her in the stomach. I called 911 and we took an ambulance to the ER and our parents met us there. Apparently she was dropping off a vacuum she borrowed and my parents forgot to tell me. That was a few hours ago and so far it looks like I missed anything important and she will be ok. But yeah today I stabbed my sister 🧍‍...

For context, I have a regular 9-5 office job. It’s fine, but it’s not exactly something I’m passionate about. Over the last year, I started picking up freelance graphic design projects on the side. It’s nothing huge, but it brings in some decent extra income here and there, enough that I’ve managed to build up some savings, and if all goes well, I’m hoping to leave my current job in the next three months to freelance full time. The catch is that my company has a strict no moonlighting policy. Even though I only take freelance work outside of office hours, they’re pretty clear that anything like a second source of income has to be disclosed, and honestly, I’d rather not get into it with them until I’m ready to leave. Anyway, today during lunch, I went to grab coffee with a coworker. I offered to pay, pulled out my wallet without thinking, and accidentally handed the cashier the wrong card, my freelance business card, which literally has the name of my design page printed on it. The ...

Was texting my boyfriend during lunch break this morning because honestly, it’s the only thing getting me through the hellscape that is my job right now. Meanwhile, my evil boss (who cannot stand me and probably dreams about firing me) messages me about some urgent project update. In my rush to switch apps and respond like the good little worker bee I am, I made a fatal mistake. Instead of replying to my boyfriend, I sent my boss the message: "Can't wait to see you tonight! Love you!" His reply came almost instantly: "Thanks, but I think we should just stay friends." I have never wanted to dig a hole and disappear faster in my entire life. Seriously, if someone could invent a "Delete Myself From Reality" button, I’d smash it right now. Kill me please and thank you. TL;DR: accidentally professed my love to my boss, send help.

Yesterday I screwed up. I was playing airsoft with the boys and we decided to go to a burger place, Culver’s, to get some food. Most of us wear OCP (or Multicam) camouflage while we play. I am one of these people. One of the guys was wearing M81 Woodland. None of us wear unit patches or anything that would affiliate us with the military, only the camouflage. We head towards Culver’s and walk in. It’s about 5:15pm and the restaurant is in full dinner rush. We get a parking place and head inside. The moment we walked in the doors we had people staring at us. I could feel peoples eyes on me in my combat shirt and combat pants. We wait to order and the awkwardness is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I walk up to order and halfway through the order the manager steps over and swipes her card and tells the guy taking my order to add the “military discount.” After she steps away I tell him, “I just got done playing airsoft with my buddies. I’m not military.” He looks back at me, sh...

Once a week (usually Friday nights, but we had to move it to tonight this week) my husband and I have a nice date night. Sometimes we go out and either have one of our sets of parents or a babysitter watch them, sometimes we just have a very romantic dinner at home after the kids go to bed. Tonight, my husband and I have a date night of the latter variety planned. My husband wanted to surprise me with what dinner would be tonight, so he got the groceries by himself. While he was out today shopping for all of the elements of our dinner, I was with the kids at home and doing the laundry. Our kids were all in the living room, with the younger 2 playing and our oldest (who's 10) watching a cooking show while he was weaving a potholder. At one point, the presenter of the show mentioned that oysters (which were in the recipe) were aphrodisiacs. My son immediately asked me what that meant, and I told him that it's a food that's supposed to make you want to have sex. He said gro...

This morning I was running late and had my flat iron heating up on the floor in front of my mirror. (I usually sit on the floor while i do my hair and makeup) I was trying to grab clothes and wasn’t paying attention. I ended up stepping right onto the hot plates with my bare foot. Not to mention, I always have my flat iron on the hottest setting. It hurt so bad immediately, I literally heard a sizzling sound. Now I have big blisters on the bottom of my toes. It hurts to walk, and even when I’m just sitting, it still burns. I’ve been putting ice on it and trying not to put weight on it. Lesson learned for being frantic and leaving a flat iron on the floor🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ TL;DR: Stepped barefoot on my hot flat iron while rushing, burned my foot, toe blisters.

I have two grown, independent daughters, and I am so damn proud of them. I struggle to communicate just how proud of them I am, and it's getting harder since they're out living their lives. Yesterday my daughter came home from work, and we were chatting. She asked if I wanted to split a joint with her, and it sounded so fun. I've take edibles every now and again, but I haven't smoked in a couple years, but this wasn't my first weed rodeo by any stretch. We went outside, and had the best conversation. I told her how happy I was to see her being herself, and how she is such a gift to the world, and how proud I am to be her dad. I cried a bit, we hugged, it was the conversation I've wanted to have with her forever. When we went inside, I started to feel a bit wobbly, so I sat down in a big chair. I lost consciousness. Important note - I pass out a lot. When my nervous system gets overwhelmed, I will just shut down. When I came to, my wife told me that I hadn...

A few weeks ago I moved from Chicago to Springfield, Illinois. State capital, nice little town, horrible mass transit, compared to Chicago. I had some work done on my minivan before leaving Chicago, but it also started to be a little harder to start than normal. I even posted to Reddit for advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/MechanicAdvice/comments/1k58lj8/ A couple days ago it was suddenly really hard to start. I ran my battery down getting it going, just to get a very rough idle and an idiot light. I made an appointment with a local shop, but the soonest they can get me in is Tuesday. I want to make sure I can get it started Tuesday, so I'm trying to charge the battery. I'm hoping, if I can get it started, as long as I keep one foot on the gas at all times it'll make it the mile to the shop. Unfortunately, it's not parked somewhere I can run an extension cable for a battery charger. I've read multiple stories on here about Karens complaining when you park in fron...

Today, my husband and I had to go to the doctor, the pharmacy, and the library . I initially offered to drop my husband off back home after his doctor's appointment and our trip to the pharmacy, but he said no, he'd like to go to the library with me too (just had to turn in some books of ours and check out some we had on hold). While we were at the library, my husband really had to use the bathroom. He's a wheelchair user, though normally he's totally fine to move himself from his wheelchair to the toilet. However, he's feeling really sick today and is really fatigued, so I went into the bathroom with him to help him get from his wheelchair to the toilet. The bathroom at our local library branch is just one single user bathroom, so anyone who's waiting to use it just has to stand outside. We were in the bathroom for a little while, about 15 minutes. When my husband was done, I opened the door for him to exit the bathroom, and as soon as I did that, he said ...

I was drinking wine the whole night and at some point I confused a bottle and accidentally drank a good amount of my own p1ss. It was a couple of gulps. Not to be funny, but I didn’t recognize anything weird after the first gulp (I was drinking some cheap Cali white wine). But then… I realized it, and now I’m really disgusted. (Sometimes I use bottles at night because my roommates are sleeping and I don’t want to wake them — or sometimes just out of pure laziness.) If you want to know the taste — it’s like warm salty water with a hint of something disgusting, like a bit of A1 sauce. It was bad, but at least now I know what that tastes like. I think if it’s your own, it’s moderately disgusting. Maybe if you’re sexually attracted to someone it could be more tolerable? (I had some fantasies about it before, and now I ended up drinking my own. Guess I’m not really attracted to myself.) Stay safe, and always check your bottles, guys. TL;DR: Confused bottles during a drunk night, dra...

This happened to me a month ago but I thought I share the story becaused I F'ed up so badly that day. Alittle bit of a back story: I am the kind of person with the "ugly" laugh. I was known for it in my friend group. I wasn't shameful or insecure about it in anyway tho. The story: So I got matched with a guy on Grindr(Ik Ik not a good app to find a relationship lol). After we talked for a bit we realized we are a perfect match. We have common likes and dislikes, what we do in our free time etc. We started talking to each other everyday. One day he asked if I wanted to come to his place that evening after work and finally watch the series that we've been talking about. I agreed. After watching first few episodes we started kissing , and things get spicy real quick. I was nervous because it was my first. He told me to relax, and started kissing me all over while I lay there awkwardly. And then he did it, he touches my testicles. As soon as he touches my balls it...

So, this crazy thing happened last week, and I can’t stop thinking about whether I should change my name and just leave the country. I work remotely at a tech company super chill vibe, lots of Zoom calls, and we’re all about Slack. We even use the ‘Huddle’ feature, which is basically quick video chats in channels. I live alone and usually work pretty comfortably. That day was scorching hot, so I was at my desk completely naked no socks, nothing. Just full-on, easygoing keyboard cowboy mode. I had just finished a 1:1 call, so I figured I was done for the day. Then, my buddy messages me: “Hey, quick question want to hop into the #engineering huddle?” I click yes, not thinking much. Here’s the thing: Slack doesn’t show a preview before you join a huddle. I had no idea it would turn on my webcam immediately. And there I was completely naked staring into my screen to the whole company's view in a Slack huddle. Just blankly gazing into the void. It was maybe three seconds before ...

I never thought I'd be writing one of these, but here I am, utterly dumbfounded and heartbroken. Buckle up, because this is a wild one. So, I've been with my girlfriend, Sarah, for ten years. We're talking serious, "settle down and get married" kind of relationship. Then, my estranged uncle, let's call him Gary, shows up out of the blue. I hadn't seen this guy since I was a kid. Apparently, he'd been living abroad, "finding himself" or something. Anyway, he's back in town, and my parents insist we reconnect. I'm hesitant, but Sarah, being the sweet, supportive person she is, encourages me to give him a chance. So, we invite him over for dinner. That's where it all started to go wrong. To break the ice, I made the mistake of mentioning how much I hate the movie Jack and Jill . I mean, it's objectively terrible, right? Sarah, bless her heart, tries to be polite, but Gary just lights up. Turns out, he's a huge Adam Sand...

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...

Update: found the babies alive on the ground. Returned them to the nest, and returned the nest to a part of the bush not yet cut. Thanks for the advice! Earlier today, while cleaning up the yard and trimming back a very overgrown bush, I unknowingly cut a large branch that was home to a bird’s nest. It wasn’t until the branch was already on the ground that I noticed the nest nestled inside. To my surprise (and horror), there were three very young hatchlings in it. I could see the mother—a bright red cardinal—hovering nearby. She continued to feed them and remained close, clearly distressed but attentive. About an hour later, I checked again, and the nest was completely empty. I’m assuming the babies fell out, as the nest was only about 3 to 4 feet off the ground. Can hatchlings survive that kind of fall? Should I leave the area alone in case the mother is still caring for them nearby, or try to find and gently return them to the nest? I feel terrible. Am I officially bound for the ba...

I (20F) was hanging out with some of my friends. Namely, one of my friends brought her boyfriend with her. I like the guy but he definitely doesn't run in the same circles as the rest of us. He was telling us a story involving one of his friends who I happen to have a class with. Let's call this friend Eric. I really don't know the guy, just like I really don't know ANY of his friends. But, I have noticed whenever I was in class with Eric, he seemed to go out of his way to not interact with me. Like not even look at me even though I sat relatively in his direct line of sight. Even in group discussions he seemed to ignore me or vaguely glare at me. So, naturally I said something like "Omg dude, Eric hates me for some reason. Is there anything I did to upset him?" and suddenly the boyfriend gets SUPER uncomfortable. And the girlfriend, my friend, kinda of starts laughing a bit. She suddenly goes "Oh, come on tell her what he said in the group chat". ...

I’m 26M living alone, while my older sister lives about 65 km (40 miles) away, and my parents live in another country. This incident actually happened last night. Yesterday, I bought a new T-shirt from a boutique store and decided to take some pictures in my apartment building’s laundry room where the lighting was really good. I was moving around trying to find the right angles and spent about an hour editing the photos afterward. I struggle with body dysmorphia and OCD, so I don’t post photos publicly, but sometimes I take them just for myself—moments where I feel okay with how I look. Unbeknownst to me, my phone was on “Do Not Disturb” the entire time. It was an accident. When I finally checked my phone an hour later, I saw multiple missed calls and a WhatsApp message from my sister saying our mother had been crying because I wasn’t answering. I called my mother immediately, but she started yelling at me. She told me my sister had even called the police to request a wellness chec...

I work at a law firm. Boss keeps the windows open and I get really bad allergies in spring. Today I forgot my Zyrtec so I was having really bad symptoms, like could not breathe bad. Boss was like, we have benadryl. I've never taken benadryl in my life. I figure how bad can it be. I take two. I then read the package: may cause marked fatigue. I usually drink strong cold brew in the morning and I also take a daily steroid inhaler for chronic asthma, which can wire me so bad that i lose sleep. You can see where this is going. The combo of the coffee and inhaler and benadryl is bad, like I can't think and my hands are floppy bad. I feel like I ate a weed gummy. My boss is asking me to send important tax documents to high powered attorneys and I'm sweating. I cannot read the documents because I'm living in the time dilation zone. I have been moving in slow motion since 9:30 am. I have no idea how I'm supposed to accomplish anything like this. I tried to pick up the phon...

Today, my 4 mo pregnant wife told me she wanted a bean bag chair so she could have somewhere to sit in my office, especially when our child is born in October. There was one that her best friend has that she really liked and wanted to get the same one, but it was a little more expensive than usual. No problem, but I should have known since it was her better-off friend that likes to be a bit bougie sometimes. It was a $350 one off of Pottery Barn. We live paycheck to paycheck so this was a bit steep for us, especially with a baby on the way. I told her we could do it if we call this her birthday, Christmas, and anniversary gift and I won't really get her anything else for those days. My FU: Her response was that we could also consider this her "push gift", but in return she would still like me to do something else on those days. My dumb-ass said "Your what?" with the gusto of someone who had just been cut in line. She proceded to tell me that it was now becomin...

So last December I(18m) manned up and bought antidepressants myself! Good on me I got the few months prescription after my dad spent time saying and convincing me it was a bad idea! 4 almost 5 days ago I ran out of my current prescription. And for some god damn reason I agreed to try going without them at my DAD'S request. Stupid ass decision? Absolutely. Am I suffering the consequences just 4 days cold turkey? Yes yes I am. I have had chills twice, the reawakening of my dissociative episodes, my chronic pain being twice as bad to the point I am reaching points of needing my cane more actively. Sleeping is difficult cause you guessed it! The symptoms are back with a vengeance at full force and I am barely handling it! I said to my dad "oh I'll be off for a month to see if I'm fine without them" Unsurprisingly for everyone except me(and maybe my dad) I am in fact not fine. At all. I am coping but barely. I texted my mental health providers to get me out of t...

On mobile, happened yesterday. I’m a new (been here almost a month) pet groomer at a corporate store where we also offer walk-in services, like nail trimmings and grindings. I get them pretty often, and as I’m talking with the dog owner about what she wants, I end with my usual “please don’t leave the store it won’t even take that long and I’ll just page you to come get your puppy.” Dog was really sweet and let me get through it all without much fuss so all in all not even 15 minutes. I take the dog out with me to the counter to start paging for the owner. At previous jobs, the store overhead pager was a live call, as in I dial the number and hear myself talk through the sound system. Here, it’s a recording that ends when you hang up. As I start my “will Dog Owner please come back to the salon”, I see the owner turn the corner already making her way back. Here is where I fuck up: I don’t know how to end the recording without sending it to the store speakers. I head back into the s...

I (26F) was not considerate of my partner's (24M) time and spilled all my emotions even though I promised not to. I was having a rough day and came to grab my computer from his apartment. He brought it out to me— a clear indication I now realize that he was busy and did not have time for chatting. He knew I was upset and of course gave me a hug but then went to go inside. I asked if I could come in for a glass of water to which he responded yes. I came in, filled my water and immediately started sobbing. He hugged me and comforted me but after about ten minutes said he had a deadline that day and needed to work. I said you’re right but just couldn’t keep it together and ended up taking up a whole hour of his time in his apartment. I truly value his time and he NEVER communicates to me that he needs space unless it’s mandatory so I really appreciate him for doing this. But I feel like a horrible girlfriend because I was crying so hard and ignored him when he politely asked for spac...

I(28) don't talk to my fam(20ish+40ish) much cus I like my chaotic life. Today though, I've been reading a book series that I finally got the last book for. It's got some hard hitting stuff that really made me miss my family and the fact that I can't talk to them because having a phone number is not on my priority list. So I finally made an ig account to talk to them on. Could we talk other ways? Sure but whatever that's not important to the storyline the thing is I chose 00.30 as an appropriate time to make an account and message my sister and progenitor. How I fucked up: I sent my sis a message request saying "I hope you are a smart gal without notifications on during sleeping hours" I don't know how message requests work... I hope she can see the follow up message where I apologize and say who I am? Tldr:my sister received a message from an unknown ig account at 12 in the morning (it was me) saying "I hope you are a smart gal without notifi...

Context: I come from a middle class family in a poor country, so I have never really travelled outside my country. I also haven't had that much social interaction since the pandemic, and I rarely go out or encountered strangers since then. Though, even coming from a country with English as its second language, I am fluent in writing but not in speaking (More on confidence and getting used to speaking, than having poor ability for it). So basically, I'm broke, no recent social interaction, and has no practice of english speaking. These are information that's important in my story. So here goes: For the last few weeks, I had the opportunity to go on a trip to Japan. And one of my goals for this trip is to connect with a stranger, you know, authentic human connection. I have always yearned for connecting internationally with people outside my culture because I was an internet kid, I have always fancied the differences people have and have always desired to also connect with ...

I hope this still fits here but I kinda wanted to share this story after all that time to maybe help someone not doing the same mistakes I did. Also english is not my first language. I (now M35, 22 at that time) and a girl (F33, 20 at that time) met a couple of weeks ago. and started to be friends and hang out occasionally. First Chance: Then there was this day, where we hung out all day long and then after that we went to her place and watched some fail videos on youtube. After a while we kissed and she looked at me and said: "If you don't leave, we might do something stupid." I automatically noded like I understood the assignment, hugged her, got up and left. I honestly did not realize what she meant at first but this was the first time questioning myself, why I did not get that. Second Chance: Fast forward about two weeks later: We agreed to spent the whole day together and went swimming and later to her place cooked a meal, ate and watched again some fail videos o...

So my girlfriend’s birthday was coming up, and I wanted to do something special. I planned a surprise party with a few of her close friends, rented out a cool little rooftop space, catered tacos (her favorite), and even got custom cupcakes with her face on them. The whole thing was supposed to be a secret. That was the point. Now, I’m juggling a group chat with her friends, coordinating timing, decorations, and that one friend who always runs late. At the same time, I’m texting my girlfriend like everything is normal: “What movie do you want to watch tonight?” “No, nothing special planned this weekend!” Except… I accidentally sent the wrong message to her. Instead of texting her best friend: “Okay, we yell surprise when she walks in, then hand her the tequila shot. That’s the vibe.” I sent it to my girlfriend. As in, the person we were all trying to surprise. There was a solid three minutes of silence before she replied: “You had one job.” Then, like a full villain origin stor...

My husband turned 32 this weekend and I (F28) arranged a small family birthday party for him at his parents’ house, as we were visiting them over Easter. As a present from his brother he got two pieces of specially marinated steaks, sourced from a local seller with a secret sauce. He didn’t really get any other presents except for a chocolate bunny from his older sister and a small gift from me. When we were packing our things to travel home this morning, I was tasked to pack refrigerated things into the cooler, preparing for our 6 hour drive home accross the country. I was asked then if I remembered to pack the steaks (I am currently being assessed for adhd and am very forgetful). I confidently said yes, as I remembered putting the blue container with the steaks in the cooler. But in the evening when we got home from our cross country commute, his mother notified us that they had found the steaks in their fridge. My husband has been depressed for the last few years. We had a long tal...

About 2-3 weeks ago a toilet in my office started to leak from under the caulk seal. Just regular clear water around the bottom of the toilet. Maintenance came out 2 weeks ago and put in a new (now non elongated) toilet. Once we used it we realized that the toilet was barely adhered to the floor. You could shift the damn thing with 1 hand. I reached back out to our landlords for a fix. They came back out last week, thought they couldn't get it to adhere correctly due to a flange being in the way. My guess is when they put it in initially they knew it wouldn't fit correctly due to it being much smaller than the original and they hoped we wouldn't notice. In the end, they realized they weren't up to the task and asked the landlords to send out real plumbers. Who are scheduled to come this upcoming 24th.  This last Thursday I went to the bathroom after several others to the only toilet being used in our office now. I am a conservative paper user, i will make sure the j...

CW: Bodily fluids. Marked as NSFW out of utmost caution though it’s truly not that bad. To set the scene: I’ve been on a health kick and I’ve been pretty consistent since January. I love a good breakfast sando and wanted to up my morning protein so I meal prepped 5 low calorie English muffins with a vegan sausage, and super thin slice of cheese, and I cooked up an over medium/hard egg for each. I wrapped each one in a tidy sheet of parchment, stuck them in a baggy, tossed it in the fridge, and called it a day. Most mornings last week, I treated myself to a delicious breakfast and I was pleased with my choices. I was pleased until yesterday. I realized I had one more breakfast sandwich left. A quick thought of “this sandwich is now a week old; if this a good idea” crossed my mind but it didn’t smell or taste weird, so I carried on and then went about my day. I was none the wiser that I’d put myself in peril until 2am today. I could feel my tummy start rumbling, but I’m also on my per...

Went on a trip recently with some of my closest friends. One of them is someone I’ve had feelings for a while—feelings I’ve mostly kept to myself because I didn’t want to mess up the friendship or friend group. The peak of those feelings was years ago and ever since it’s ebbed and flowed. We don’t live in the same state or city anymore so not that it matters anymore. Only see them once or twice a year now and this month long trip was definitely the last time I got to see them more an extended period of time before life takes us in different directions. Anyways, I thought about maybe confessing my feelings during the trip earlier this year but quickly decided that it’s not right to dump all that to someone in this context at all and moved on. The trip was going well and around halfway through we hooked up. It just kind of happened after a night out and immediately after the next morning she said it couldn’t happen again and we both promised not too. Despite that, there was this one n...

A fresh TIFU for y'all, since this happened a little more than an hour ago. Mods, I'll gladly delete this if you deem this under the "too vulgar" rule. I also can't seem to find the NSFW tag on mobile, sorry for that. So I was at a family gathering, both for Easter and for the birthday of my grandma (she's 92 years old and still going strong). I went to the toilet as one normally does, and had a spot on my balls that was a bit itchy. Not unusual, just a slight scratch and it'll go away. The itch didn't go away, so I scratched some more. Even pulled the good old pinch-'n-roll technique for this one. And after more scratching than I care to admit, a tiny spot on my sack started bleeding. No big deal, it'll stop eventually. You might already be able to guess what's coming: the bleeding doesn't stop. The wound is as tiny as it can be, but damn it's just pissing blood for some reason. It's not an extreme amount by any means, but...

I live in a country at war. Up until recently, I was juggling two things: real estate and a Web3 startup. Real estate in a war-torn country isn’t exactly booming, and our startup ran out of funds before we could launch. We had to shut it down at a loss. Now I’m broke. Family? I used to be the one helping them. Friends? Turns out I don’t have many left when shit hits the fan. The only person still by my side is my fiancée—and she’s struggling too. Emotionally, financially, mentally. Watching her carry both of us is eating me alive. I can’t take a regular job because I could get mobilized. I’ve been there—2014. I’ve seen the worst of it. The fear, the chaos, the inhumanity. I’m not scared of dying—I’m scared of what it’ll do to her. She’s terrified, barely sleeping, and I’m powerless to protect her from it all. Scamming or doing shady stuff online? Not an option. My conscience won't allow it. I’ve found a potential job with military exemption—but it starts in two months. And hone...

A few months ago I was sitting on my local port, enjoying the last of the good weather with my fiance and daughter before the rain and wind beat the hell out of the coast. We were partaking in our favorite free pass time of people watching as there is a trail lining the coast that is frequented by tourists. Nothing abnormal was happening that day as we burned cigarettes and enjoyed the shaded bench; just some local teenagers bumping hip-hop from 2006 in the drainage ditch near a bridge on the trail, and the usual mix of dogs and strollers passing. Then a man in a t-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses goes jogging by, a backpack slung over his shoulder but none too haphazardly. It looked like there was just some dude on a jog which wasn't uncommon for the time of year. He fit the scene. A few moments later a woman in jogging leggings and a hoodie passes by, in what would appear to be almost a playful(?) pursuit. She seemed to be jogging in slow motion rather than in an all out sprint. I...

So I had this raccoon problem. One night I saw it digging through my trash like it owned the place. I banged a pan to scare it off. It just looked at me, unbothered, and walked away like, “Okay, dude, chill.” The next night? It brought a friend. Next night? Three raccoons. By night four, it looked like the Fast & Furious crew of trash pandas had assembled outside my house. I tried everything—motion lights, vinegar, blasting Taylor Swift. Nothing worked. I swear one of them flipped me off once. Then it escalated. I opened my door one night and found my trash neatly dumped in a circle like some kind of offering. I don’t know if they were mocking me or summoning something. Eventually, I caved and bought one of those expensive animal-proof bins. Haven’t seen them since. I still leave out a peace offering slice of bread every Friday, though. Just in case. TL;DR: Tried to scare one raccoon. It brought friends. I accidentally started a turf war and lost. Now I pay raccoon taxes in brea...

After a really rough few years financially, I finally caught a bit of a break. Not life-changing money, but enough to give me breathing room for the first time in forever. I cleared out some lingering credit card debt, replaced my dying phone, and let myself splurge just once: I bought a leather jacket I’ve wanted for years. Total impulse buy, but I figured hey - I've been responsible, why not? I wore it to work the next day. Didn’t say anything. Just walked in like normal, feeling a little better than usual. Big mistake. One of my coworkers goes, “Damn, new money?” and everyone laughs, but I think nothing of it. Then another coworker jokes about me “striking it rich.” Later that day, someone asks if I “got a new side hustle” or “secret inheritance.” It starts spreading-jokingly at first-that I must’ve come into some serious cash. By the end of the week, someone asked if I was doing crypto or if I “sold a kidney.” I tried to play it down and said, “Nah, just treated myself afte...

I recently moved back home temporarily to save money while looking for a new apartment. Things have been better lately - I finally got a little ahead financially after months of scraping by. So I decided to treat myself. Nothing too wild, just some upgrades to my setup, a couple new clothes, and… okay, I also ordered a personal toy from a site I probably should’ve double-checked the packaging on. Here’s the thing: I forgot that even though I’ve been using my name and account for deliveries, most packages still get dropped off at the front door, and my mom usually brings them in. I also forgot that I used a discount code that came with one of those promotional flyers that has… let’s say… very explicit branding. Anyway, I’m at work, and she texts me: Mom: “Your package came. Is this a joke?” She attached a photo of a very bright, very obvious box with the company name all over it. My stomach dropped. I told her to just put it in my room and I’d explain later, but she didn’t reply. W...

Okay, not today, but you know the deal. So last year my daughter (who was nine at the time) watched some shows on, I think, Peacock. Normally all went well, but one issue; they ran advertisements for a new tv show about Chucky, the killer doll. And the ads scared her to DEATH. She could fast forward past them, but she developed this crazy fear of Chucky. And no matter how much I reminded her it was just a doll, that she could beat an doll up even if it was real, and even when I told her the history of it, about how the movie started when I was young… she was so scared. So, one day I am walking through town, and I walk past this second hand vintage cool stuff store. You know… old lunch boxes and vintage posters and action figures and all of that? And what is in the window? An original Chucky doll? How crazy! I mean, when was the last time I saw a Chucky doll? I mean, when was the last time ANYONE saw a Chucky doll? So I snap a photo, because how perfect? I can show my daughter tha...