greenmangostudio

This happened about 2 years ago, freshman year of high school btw. So I was getting ready to go to school and I went to the bathroom to get ready. Took a shower, messed with my hair, and brushed my teeth. Except, the "toothpaste" burned more than usual. I didn't really pay any attention to it until about a minute in I started drooling. I then realized that my mouth was completely numb and I couldn't stop myself from basically spitting all my toothpaste out. It was then that I checked the upside-down tube and realized that I had just brushed my teeth with "Icy Hot pain-relieving cream" which is white and shaped like a tube of toothpaste. My mouth was numb for about a solid couple of hours and I had to miss school that day. I still have nightmares about the experience. Nowadays I don't really have any problems with my taste buds or anything and I'm sure my enamel is fine, but for about a week my tongue was very much oversensitive, causing me to bel...

I never could join the military. I was DQd because I have a documented suicide attempt. Two of them actually where I flat lined. I've always held my father on a pedestal of what a man should be. Today... Just a few hours ago... We were drinking on the Mississippi River bank. I was away for 10ish years. So now that I live at home again we try to hang out every week or two weeks. I recently learned that the largest ever tank on tank battle happened in the gulf war. My father was in a tank battalion. I did the math. He never ever spoke about it. He's highly decorated. All he had ever told me as a kid that he was in a war and he lived. Today. At 30 years old... My drunk father told me all of the details. He was there. He described victims of chemical attacks. Yeah it was tank on tank warfare but dude.. When a tank goes down the people evacuate. Those that are still living. And he shot them. One of them were coughing and gurgling blood from a shot to the lung and he just sh...

This happened when I was in middle school/early high school, and I'm a full grown adult now so it's been awhile. I just really cannot forget this everytime I think about my school experiences. I had a kindle that I brought with me to school all the time. Because it was a newly allowed thing in my school, everyone was very curious about them. It was very much a "Oh, what are you reading? what depraved thing could you not find in our local library that you just HAD to download online?" Kind of attitude. So anytime I took it out during any sort of downtime, I would often have one or two people looking over my shoulders to read what I was reading. I think they wanted to find something scandalous. Well, I didn't read a lot of scandalous content. I DID however read quite a few books on how to become a better writer. I was reading through one of them, and it had sections for how to become better at writing action, drama, etc... Well, I had been reading through it, and...

You know how it is said that you can't punch in your sleep?Well,I found out that you actually can do it,by being the biggest moron on earth,the true embodiment of a russian proverb:"If there's strenght,brain is extra". During the last two months I work full time,went to uni in mixed regime(half on and half off site)and wrote my final paper.Something like two hours of sleep at night for the past couple of weeks finally caught up with me and I transformed into a zombie more or less.My wife was begining to be more and more concerned with my mental state,so she bought me some sleep drops in order to have a full night sleep in one of my few days off. I took the drops,and went to sleep.And after what felt like a couppe minutes of nothingness,there it was.The most bizzare nightmare I ever had.I dreamed that our bedroom was invaded by minecraft wolves.Idk why,I didn't even play the damn game.One jumped to bite her,and that's when I flung my fist,only to be awoken b...

A few years ago my wife and I (early 30's) took our 2 month old daughter to get pictures with the Easter Bunny. While my wife waited in line, I went go to pay. I figured if I prepaid for the pictures we'd spend less overall. I paid one of the teenage girls working the booth and I got back just as they were done taking the picture. I was going to escape under $40. Wrong. These types of things are catnip for new moms. My wife was insistent that we needed to get mugs for the grandparents, extra sets of pictures for the great aunts, etc. I realized resisting was a lost cause and that this was always going to be something with a triple digit cost. I gave her my credit card so she could go get whatever. That left me to go get my daughter from the Easter Bunny. I never had problems with kids as long as they were 2+ or so, but I had always been terrified of infants. I thought it was inevitable that I would end up dropping an infant or find some other way to permanently damage a min...

So this actually happened today, but has been happening over the course of a couple of weeks. Today was the day that we change the clocks forward in the UK, so having recently acquired a dog from the local dog rescue centre my partner and I agreed that we should gradually change the timings of our dogs meals and walks so that the sudden time change didn't come as a shock to her. You may be able to see where this is going. Over the last 3 weeks my partner and I have been changing the timings for our dogs meals and walks by 15 minutes each week until we were satisfied that she would cope with the change and as I woke up this morning and looked at the time it dawned on me. We went the wrong way... We spent 3 weeks having our dog wait longer and longer for her food only for her to now get everything 2 whole hours before she expects it... Rest assured doggo is thrilled with the change. TL:DR - Made my dog wait longer and longer for food to cope with the clocks going forward, real...

It's been a pretty wet few weeks so my backyard has become super overgrown with tall grass. I woke up this morning totally determined to tame the lawn with a heavy duty weed wacker/weed trimmer especially considering that I've practically ignored it for months now. We have a bunch of fruit trees around the lawn and 2 doggies. After about 45 minutes of work I have a pretty good groove going and then while swinging the spinning trimmer back and forth suddenly I feel a bunch of painful wet stings all over my legs ( I was wearing shorts), neck, and face (thankfully I was wearing safety glasses). I immediately though I thrashed an orange or a lemon, NOPE, it was fresh wet light brown dog shit. Lesson of the day, you can ignore the lawn but beware of the dog shit... TLDR: Accidentally hit a pile of dog shit while weed wacking, launching shit at myself mostly in the face and neck.