greenmangostudio

Just now, I was gonna be watching some videos on that site and let's just say, I'm really into the noises the people in the videos make.. Anyways though, I quickly connected to my Bluetooth headphones but it turns out I actually connected to my father's Surround System, in the living room, where he happened to be. I then put it on full volume and pressed play but to my shock I heard the intro blasting from downstairs (the floor was even shaking, the whole neighborhood heard that 😭) and then I quickly disconnected. I hear my father shouting that we're gonna have a talk about that after dinner. You should know my father is a pretty religious guy and porn was always a big taboo in the house. He even blocked it so he will now know, i used VPN to access it. I think I'm gonna get a beating now... Just wanted to share this, perhaps someone can at least get a laugh out of this. TL;DR: Played intro, my father will punish me

Once upon a time (or about one hour ago to be specific), Apple maps tried to get my, my sisters and our friends Canadian asses unalived, or at the very least detained and deported, on what was supposed to be a very innocent roadtrip through the southern United States. 😅 We had planned a quick stop at the Armed Forces Museum outside of Gulfport, MS on our way to New Orleans from our starting point in Nashville. Turns out by following Apple's suspiciously nonsensical GPS directions, we unknowingly snuck onto the Camp Shelby military base. 🙃 We were eventually stopped partway through our browse through the museum by an armed constable who was simultaneously mindblown and amused AF at how we managed to even get onto base undetected, much less into the museum that was coincidentally open for the first time in several weeks. Thankfully, he was very understanding when he had us walk him through how Apple Maps managed to give us directions that somehow bypassed their visitors center an...

I lie awake right now just thinking about it. Me and my family were around the Thanksgiving table talking about the field the degree Is in. (Honestly i don't even remember how we got there in the first place) Which is a field I'm interested in and my sibling is in, and I just spouted it with full confidence. Only to have the most mortifying "Oh fuck" moment when a family member I've only met twice before, starts to talk in great depth about getting the degree. Hell I didn't even know they where in the field, let alone had a degree in it. Nothing awkward happened afterwards and it didn't kill the room. It actually started a discussion about the pros in it. But I just can't stop thinking about how obnoxious and know-it-all the comment made me look. All in all, not serious. But sometimes I forget why I'm terrified of meeting new people, then I have a conversation and just think "Wow, your the dumbest motherfucker on the planet". Thank Go...

Was out and drinking heavily Wednesday night. Ended up bumping into a classmate who I’ve actually had a crush on for a bit. We talked for a bit then went our separate ways. Later, in my infinite drunken wisdom, I DM’d her my number and asked her on a date and she never answered. Realized that was an awful idea the next morning and deleted everything. It said she didn’t view anything, but I did send an apology afterwards (which she also hasn’t answered). Going through an awful spiral of worst case scenarios (being labeled a creep, getting in trouble at school) and cant believe I was so dumb. Dreading going to class Monday and seeing her as well. Tldr: Drunk DM’d classmate asking her on date and she never answered, no idea what she is thinking.

When I was in sophomore English class in high-school (1999) I had a first year English teacher. She was very sweet and cared a lot. We connected through music. She showed me U2 and I told her about a homeless schizophrenic musician who self recorded songs and I had a mix tape I was listening to. Well we decided on a cd swap. I got u2 best hits and she got Wesley Willis, the dredgehayt critically aclaimed selections. I really enjoyed Sunday Bloody Sunday. When we returned our copies back to each other I mentioned the songs I enjoyed. She thought the WW cd was intriguing, however she did not feel it was appropriate for a 16 year old to share a cd with her that had songs on it like “My mother smokes crack rocks” “Fuck you “ “Suck a cheetahs dick “ “Suck my dogs dick “ And the penultimate “pop that pussy” Oh yea…..probably shouldn’t have done that TLDR: lent my high school English teacher a cd by a homeless schizophrenic that wrote questionable lyrics.

First time, to be fair, I was like 7 and was too scared to say that someone was in the bathroom when they knocked and for some reason I wasn’t able to lock the door of the bathroom. The poor guy was petrified and I assumed he already had a feeling that someone might be instead so when he knocked . . . multiple times by the way, I would say like 2 or so times, and caught be in the squat . . . the terror and sheer disappointment. The second time was in highschool, I believe I was around 14, I guess I didn’t properly lock the door and thought no one was gonna be around since class was in session but boy was I wrong; Worse thing was that the door is so far from the toilet so I couldn’t even stop it in time so they caught me mid squat . . . it was horrendous. TL;DR: The locks to the doors does not like me and I was too shy to do/say anything about it.

So me and my gf (25m and 23f respectively) are spending Thanksgiving out at her parent's place in NM near the big Navajo reservation. It's this super old ranch style house that's like halfway between a house and mansion but it's not one of those cheaply built mini-mansions. It's this super old house from the 1890s, according to her father. As such, its got some irregularities in its layout that kinda make it kinda.creepy to exist in especially when you're unfamiliar with it. Some of the floors are slightly sloped, the doorways are all just slightly smaller than the usual, the windows aren't quite big enough to hold the glass so they can only open a few inches (which isn't necessarily a problem in this case, especially as its starting to get chillier here), and a few of the rooms and hallways have these shelves screwed on the wall that aren't all at uniform level (important later). Plus all the taxidermies the family keeps around. They also have thi...

This is happened like 6-7 years ago but I haven't told anyone about it . So I had a extreme phobia of school. I always felt like I am going to shit right now whenever I reached school and to clarify I always popped in the morning in my home before going to school . On like Saturdays and Sundays I used to shit only once I day because I knew I wouldn't have to go to school but from Monday to Friday was hell . Of course only me and mother knew about it and no one else . Sometimes I used to shit in the school's toilet after telling the teachers I need to puke . One day I reached school early by my bus school was starting 9 but I reached at 8 . At 5-6 minutes I had this intense sensation in my stomach that I need to shit so I went to the toilets but all the toilets( there are 3 three one for adults , kids and teachers respectively) were closed . When I saw there was rarely anyone in school and all the students were sitting in the class . I went to the drawing room which was fa...

Got some nice noise-cancelling Sony headphones which in the current English weather double up handily as earmuffs. While I'm listening to the One Piece soundtrack, the music just stops. Weird. Take my phone out, sure enough, it's paused. Hit play. No sound. Headphones are definitely on because the noise cancellation is still working, and my Bluetooth is definitely still on. Whatever, it'll probably start working any second now. Few minutes go by, and an elderly man taps me on the shoulder and points at my pocket. Yeaaaaaahhh. You already know what's up. That was the exact moment I knew what's up too. TL;DR: Spent several minutes walking around Waitrose annoying pensioners with the One Piece soundtrack because I was a dumb dumb when diagnosing a mysteriously silent Spotify.

I started cosplaying and going to conventions and they made me feel so much worse because I struggle with socializing and I feel like I can't even fit in the crowd and environment that I should belong in. Also, there are so many women at these events. Thousands of people attend these events and half of them are women, I'm not kidding. I wish it was mostly or men only. Also, seeing some nerdy guys with hot girls makes me feel so much worse. I sometimes exchange social media with people and seeing them hang out with hot girls makes me so jealous. I even found out that this couple who cosplays, has a "open/poly" relationship and the guy, who is nerdy and geeky, sees other girls. Also, the girl is super fucking hot and has sex with other guys like her boyfriends friends. She has a lot of followers on Instagram. Also, she has started having sex with this chubby guy she met at a place where people play card games. Really? I can't believe that chubby nerdy guy met ...

This was actually yesterday i had the appointment but feeling the effects today. I got braces a few months ago and have been going in about every six weeks to get them tightened/get a new wire. At my last appointment, they offered me yesterday as the only day or i would need to wait another week after for an appointment. I didn’t think much of it and said ok that’s fine. Well, they gave me a bigger wire and as the tech was putting it in the back bracket as her final step, it broke. Therefore she had to undo all of the bands and tightening to replace the back bracket. After fixing it, she made sure the wire was in there really solid and proceeded to push down really aggressively on the wire to get it into place. Like, pushing it so hard that my jaw hurt from bracing against her fingers while she added the rubber bands and re-tightened everything. It was a little sore yesterday but i took ibuprofen and ate ice cream so it didn’t bother me much. Today, my teeth are so sore i can barely e...

The cats are not the issue (those sweet gremlins are almost never the issue). The thing is, when I was moving into a new apartment, I had previously asked my landlord-to-be would it be ok if I had a cat. He said it was fine, as long as it was only one cat. I managed to forget (probably suppress) that tiny detail. In the meantime I adopted two more cats. Brilliant on my side, I know. I felt impulsive those two times and never really thought about me having to ask my landlord if that would be ok with him. I knew this coudn't go on forever. But I was always too afraid and paralyzed to let him know. Anxious-avoidant loop from hell. Also not being able to live with myself. The thing is, the cats didn't create any damage inside the apartment and nothing is destroyed. I take good care of them and have provided lots of scratch posts and fabrics for trimming their claws. I packed all the textile from the owner of the apartment just in case so it doesn't get damaged and replaced i...

UPDATE TIME? Hey...so uh got my MRI and I do in fact have nerve damage (specifically the ulnar nerve in my elbow and arm) But also, SOMEHOW, the ligament in my elbow is torn??? How...I was up and running for less than 10 minutes. HOW DOES FINGERING SOMEONE DO THIS??? Actually so embarrassing 😭 How did this happen to me bro. ALSO SITUATIONSHIP UPDATE!! She came crawling back to me, ig the service was up to par 😝 (please convince me to drop her for good im struggling) But anyways, im going to physical therapy now for a few weeks. Though, not gonna lie, the doctor I have is pretty unreliable and not helpful at all. Lowkey i wanna keep her happy so some tips on how to spice everything up would be helpful lol. Because of how dookey my doctor seems I am kinda afraid he's taking the easy way out and just diagnosing without much reason...i dunno maybe i am also just paranoid. TL;DR: got an MRI from a unreliable doctor also tips for fingering? 😘

I was casually talking over a call to my girlfriend whose parents are basically taking EMI to gift their relatives. I was appaled by the sense of her inability to have a say on that matter though she's the one taking care of their homeloan and other expenses. Actually she thinks her parents know better so whatever I tell against it goes against me. This month's EMI is basically given to help someone and they are short of that amount as well which basically highers their need to around 2 lakhs in need for their plans which they are trying to get into debt by pledging jewels or buying items on EMI. For my limited knowledge I thought it was very risky and was worried about our future financial beleifs. So I wanted to take up the topic of how she'll support her parents after marriage like taking care of home loan or helping them out with expenses to which I was trying to convey in a way that she should have opinion on how they spend - basically not on new loans or EMIs which w...

So last night we were celebrating a workmates leaving party. I (20F) and my friend were the first to arrive to the bar, we were there at 6 pm (bad idea, the party was supposed to start at 8 pm). So we started drinking pretty early and I was hammered by the time everyone showed up, I also did a little weed which made it worse. 7 long islands and 2 shots in and I could barely stand. Dont remember 70% of what happened last night. But at work, the stories Ive heard from my coworkers and the embarassment that came along with it was crazy. I was hitting on almost everyone at the party, including a married man in his late 30s who was accompanied by his pregnant wife. Showed everyone my weed (its not legal in the country im in), then asked my managers to hold my weed for me because i didnt wanna get caught (im not close to my managers and super introverted at work), went around asking everyone to roll me a joint even after being denied multiple times. I feel shitty and embarassed because that...

So a week ago we had to submit a rough draft of an assignment on CANVAS. I worked really hard on this. I was up for at least 40 hours straight. With 41 minutes to go before the deadline I found what I THOUGHT was the right place to submit the draft, hit submit, and then crashed asleep. Today I was going to get working on peer reviews and noticed I hadn’t been assigned one. I investigated. Then I noticed what happened. I began to panic. I sent the TA a bunch of emails explaining what happened. Hopefully they cut me some slack. Technically I did submit it on time just in the wrong place. I really don’t want my grade to tank any more than it already has. TL;DR Submitted a rough draft under the final draft section in CANVAS after being up for 40 hours. My grade might tank. Waiting for TA response.

So bear with me here. My son (16M) has autism with a PDA presentation. Basically autism plus violent meltdowns. I (39F) am a cripple who walks with a stick. He needed help I couldn't provide, so he lives in a specialist care home. He's on the path to live with me again as he responded well to therapy and other interventions over the last 6 years. He's been given more independence now he's 16. As we're in the UK, he attends a college where he's doing a vocational course (GNVQ) in hospitality, with the goal of becoming a chef. It's a sad fact that the type of specialist care and schooling my son had has a very low female population. He's little experience of young women and dating. During one of our scheduled outings, he told me he had a date with a young lady from his college, but it had fallen through due to teen drama (not relevant to the story). We had a review today (which will have typed minutes) in which I mentioned the upcoming date, and asked...

I guess I'm just here to shout into the void. I feel really bad about this, I didn't mean to upset them. A close friend of mine made a new friend a few months ago, which is awesome. New friend and I have never hung out much, but they've always been nice enough. I've gotten the vibe that they don't like me much, though, and I decided today that I was going to bring it up, because if they were uncomfortable with me around but didn't want to be rude and say anything, then I don't want to make them uncomfortable and would not be hurt if they just didn't want me to be around when they're hanging out with our mutual friend. I spent a while crafting what I thought was a polite but matter-of-fact statement, basically, "I don't know if this is something I'm misreading, or if it's true, but I get the feeling that you don't particularly vibe with me. If that's true, that's okay and I don't want to make you uncomfortable by b...

Just want to start off by saying I am not a native speaker, so if any word choices might sound weird it's probably because of that. This happened a couple of hours ago and I am still very upset about it. My boyfriend and I moved in together earlier this year and decided to redo the kitchen. Well, the time came and last week our new kitchen was done and we could use it again after 2 weeks of remodelling (we had a contractor do all the work). In the kitchen now we have a new indication stove with 4 hobs. This evening I made Indian dahl with homemade naan bread which I cooked individually in a small frying pan. To fry these I used one of the highest settings and oil, which resulted in the rest of the stove getting a little dirty as well. No problem I thought, I'll just clean it up after dinner. So when I start to clean the stove, there are some bits really stuck to the stove that don't want to get off. I was freaking out a little bit, because its just new and I thought I ru...

For context: my family tree is hella fucked up cus one of my grandpas sleeps around a lot. He's now 75 with 30+ children (most illegitimate and around 10 from his current/previous marriages). He got with his current wife around 15 years ago and they have 2 children, J (M14) and S (F13). How did he get so much tail? Idk prob cus he was in the army and was an athlete (never made it to a professional leaugue tho) and is still hella fit and mobile to this day (my guy did 2 pushups on 3 fingers and folded himself in half last week according to S😭). How the hell is he still able to have kids in his age? At this point I dont even know So my grandpa and his current family visited my house earlier this morning. He talked with the adults at the house and made me sit with his children and watch them. We were making jokes n stuff and I asked what it's like to have a 75yo dad and jokingly asked how old their mom was. We were sitting beside the table where the adults were so S asked her m...

This happened over 10 years ago but i still never recovered from it. There i was on the top balcony of Paramount Studios with Leonardo Dicaprio and Martin Scorsese. Verbally, we had come to an agreement I would be a supporting actor featured on his next film. We were outside on the balcony, passing a script around, when it happened. I was rehearsing one of the lines where i laughed and accidentally snorted very loudly. Everybody stopped talking and stared at me. Scorcese stood quiet. He then said "hahaha you're crazy man. Well I gotta take care of some things now". Everybody left. I never got a call back or email or anything. It turns out that movie was The Wolf of Wallstreet. Fuck man TL;DR Snorted loudly in front of Martin Scorces and lost my role in a widely successful movie

it's the beginning of the school year and ive had a crush on this guy we're both in the same grade and he knew that I liked him. I would say likee i'm pretty well known, but he's really popular, and he's never had a talking stage so i felt even more confident 😀 so like we're sending messages between eachother friend group, and i feel like i got the greenlight. but when i would walk by his friendgroup they would giggle a lot. my friends are telling me that they think he's really into me and stuff and feeding into my delusions lol so i plan to ask him out poster style in school- I got a green poster board and wrote a cute phrase "It would be sweet if you went to sweet frog with me". It was so cute and wholesome , if i could attach a picture i would 💞 ALSO everyone knew that we're a thing now and most of the grade knows im planning to ask him out soon i'm really confident and bold, so audiences don't really bother me 😛. Anyway in my...

So I’m staying with my sister and her boyfriend for a few months in their extra room. They have cats and a dog and have kitty litter in each room and also a pull up bar on my door frame; both of which prevent me from closing my door. They keep their bedroom door open too to let the animals roam freely. I don’t feel comfortable asking to close the door as one of the little litter setups are here and they still kind of sue the room a bit as some of their belongings are in here and I would just feel suspicious keeping the door closed, as we are all pretty open, or worse, if I just closed the door for 10 minutes randomly, that would be so obvious. That pull up bar is also annoying to remove and put on and they hang their clothes on it too sometimes haha I being the average 30 year old male, get horny and when I need to masturbate I wait until they are gone so I can do it since it’s obvious if they are home if I try to close the door. And I don’t like running to the toilet for this activi...

Okay, so I'm in between jobs, but I do have a source of income with crafting (I have a couple IRL sales coming up and sell some stuff at a coffee shop). I also don't have the best money skills yet. On to the fuck up. I wanted to order a limited edition long sleeve shirt of my favorite character because 1) I need new long sleeve shirts, and 2) I don't buy much Christmas stuff and they weren't going to restock him. Okay, fine, here's more context: it was a $40 shirt, I only had $45, I don't believe it was a 'designer shirt' because it's not that fancy. So to save money, I did the pay in four parts thing through PayPal. I thought it didn't go through, so I tried a couple more times. Turns out I accidentally pre-ordered three shirts and my dumbass didn't know. Cut to me checking my bank account. Yep, ordered three fucking shirts. I tried to cancel two of the orders through PayPal, but they kept giving me ai to talk to. I sent an email to th...

(Obligatory: this was several years ago, but it haunts me often. Used fake names). So. I (at the time, 15M) started working as soon as I could once I got a permit for it. I live in a small place so I got my first job by literally a friend-of-a-friend saying that I was a "good kid". Started at a high-end retirement home as a server. You can imagine how fun that was-- especially with a manager that breathed down everyone's neck. I had several coworkers and we all got along well, but since most of us were teenagers-early 20s it was a bit of a revolving door of people in and out. Got a new coworker, let's call her Diane. Diane was in her early twenties, going to college nearby and always seemed to be at a different party in her off time. Didn't affect her work and she was nice to everyone, so none of us really cared. One night I had to stay in the kitchen to help out while half of us went on break, pretty normal occurrence. It was me, Diane, and another coworker (...

A few years ago, I went to a local barber who also worked as an elementary school teacher. We chatted for a while, and I don't know how, but I ended up talking to him about the importance of reading. I mentioned that kids find it hard to read and sometimes get bored, right? He agreed. I told him about methods that can help make reading enjoyable for kids and also about a video I recently watched: “Fenix Seminar by Brian Tracy.” In the video, they talked about an experiment with students with low IQs: they treated them as if they were geniuses, and by the end of the year, they had improved tremendously. Then, I shared a story about a friend of mine from high school who loved playing soccer; he was really good at it. But his family convinced him to study Business Administration at university. He graduated, worked in several companies, and about five years later, when I saw him, he was depressed, stuck, and empty. He confessed to me that he didn’t understand why he had given up socc...

Today, I decided to host a dinner party and cook a three-course meal for my friends. I wanted to show off my cooking skills, so I spent all day researching recipes, picking out ingredients, and getting everything ready. I was feeling pretty confident that I was going to nail it. I started with the appetizer—bruschetta. How hard could it be, right? I found a recipe that looked super simple, but I must’ve misread it because I ended up adding WAY too much garlic. It was like I had made a garlic paste with a bit of tomato thrown in. I tasted it, and my mouth was on fire. I tried to salvage it by adding more tomatoes, but it just made everything worse. So, I had to throw out the first batch and start over. That should’ve been my first red flag, but I pushed on. Next up was the main course: roast chicken with roasted vegetables and homemade gravy. I thought this would be easy, but I didn’t account for the fact that my oven is tiny and couldn’t fit everything at once. I ended up trying to ...

I (19NB) for the past few months have been picking up my brother (4M) from school every Thursday and Friday as a paid job and it's been going relatively smoothly... Until today, I had a really bad night last night and didn't sleep until like 9am, I'd set an alarm to wake up at 12pm but it didn't go off, instead I woke up at 3:40pm to multiple missed calls from my mum, I called her back and she was basically like "where the fuck are you???" And I immediately panicked and told her I'd fallen asleep, she said she'd left work early and was picking him up. She got home and I can't lie I did avoid her for a bit whilst I calmed myself down and then I went to the shop to buy her an apology chocolate to hopefully lessen the chances of me being murdered... I also brought my brother and gave him £5 as an apology for forgetting him so he could buy whatever snacks he wanted and then I went home, gave my mum the chocolate and spoke to her, she luckily wasn...

Repost because I failed to edit the banned word, sorry y’all. 😓 So this happened a long time ago, probably around 2003/4 when I was 5 or 6 years old. About once a month, I remember this happening and it has scarred me so deeply I can remember it in detail. I grew up running around in my family business, which was a small town grocery store. Some days, when my mom was at work, I would hang out at the store with my family and talk with the customers and cashiers near the cash registers or hang out in the office and watch cartoons. Well, this happened on the day I learned the word “retired” and that it’s usually for old people. Now, this was a new word for me obviously and I had also just recently heard the word “r-word+ed” (this will be relevant soon). I was so excited to share my new word “retired” that I ran up from the back office to the front registers to tell my favorite cashier. Let’s call her Michelle. Well, at the time an older man was waiting to check out and I thought he’...

This happened a few weeks ago, and I still feel terrible about it. My partner has been working nonstop for months, and I thought it would be the perfect time to surprise them with a well-deserved vacation. I’d recently come into some unexpected money (long story, but let’s just say I had a lucky break), so I figured, why not plan something grand? I booked flights, reserved a gorgeous Airbnb by the beach, and even planned out activities I knew they’d love—scuba diving, wine tastings, the works. I was so excited that I didn’t think to check one important detail: their work schedule. My partner’s job can get unpredictable, but I assumed they’d be able to take time off since they’d mentioned wanting a break. The day I unveiled my “master plan,” complete with a slideshow of all the amazing things we’d do, their face fell. They thanked me but said there was no way they could take a week off because of an important project deadline. I felt crushed, but they insisted it wasn’t my fault—exce...

Obligatory this didn't happen today, though the fallout occurred early this morning. So I live in the PNW and we are currently in the middle of a bomb cyclone. So while the west side is getting pelted with wind and rain, we are getting a few feet of snow overnight. In anticipation of this, I ordered a very large order of bugs for my reptiles. We are talking a few hundred mealworms, superworms, dubia roaches, hornworms, etc. I set it to priority shipping and waited. Monday afternoon I get the notification that the bugs have been delivered. I text my BF and let him know. He looked all over the property and tells me there is no package, but sometimes delivery drivers in the area mark packages as delivered when they are on their way to deliver them. So we wait. Not long after, the mail person arrives. But still, no bugs. I go into the app to check on the tracking and my heart sinks. The delivery didn't go to MY address. See, a few weeks ago a friend of mine's grandmother - ...

Today I was taking my mom to her doctors appointment. I am 18, we came on transportation on behalf of her rehab facility. For some context. She got her right foot amputated below the knee. She is 51. She is a strong woman. However today we got dropped off. I was guiding the wheelchair. We were going through some very rough and broken concrete. I was talking to her, looking around, going a little too fast because we were running late, however as I kept pushing, I went over a gap on the concrete, the wheelchair tilted and she fell. I feel absolutely horrible. Like an asshole. I wish it was me. I deserve every punishment in the world. I don’t think I can forgive myself Tldr: while going to my moms appointment, her wheelchair tilted on a gap on concrete, she fell and I feel like shit.

So, I went to a routine check up today with a new doctor. Everything was going smoothly until the moment he said, “Can you cough for me?” I misheard it as, “Can you take off for me?” For some reason, my brain immediately interpreted this as an instruction to strip. Trying to act casual, I stood up and quickly started pulling off my sweater, then my shirt underneath. By the time I realized my mistake, I was standing there in just my bra, his face frozen in absolute shock. “Uh… what are you doing?” he asked, his voice half-confused, half trying not to laugh. I immediately froze, the horrible realization dawning on me. “Didn’t you say to take off?” I stampered, desperately fumbling to grab my shirt back. He turned red but couldn’t hold back a laugh. “No,” he said, trying to stay professional, “I said cough for me. You know, for your lungs.” At this point, I wanted to melt into the exam room floor. I mumbled an apology, yanked my clothes back on, and somehow managed to finish the appo...

Not today, but I was talking about my knee issues with someone yesterday and it reminded me of this story. For background, I have genetic defects in both of my knees that made them prone to dislocation. They’ve since been surgically corrected, but at the time of this story, I had only ever dislocated my left knee, and it had only happened once. Because of my defects and because once you’ve dislocated a joint you’re more likely to do it again, I often wore a knee brace for any activity more than walking. This occurred my sophomore year at band camp. It was the end of the week and I was pretty tired all around, and my knee had been getting more and more strained. We finished our marching practice for the day and headed back to the band room to put all of our instruments away. As I always did, I went to take off the knee brace and put it in my bag. However, upon pulling it down, I noticed that my kneecap was about an inch further to the left than it should have been. The knee brace ha...

I took my 2 year old son to a local fair that had a petting zoo area. We got some feed and as we went into the enclosure, my son pushed ahead of a kid with waist long hair so I caught him and told him we have to wait since this little girl was feeding the goat first. The kid turns around and says I'm a boy! Flustered I said omg I'm so sorry buddy my mistake, and ushered my kid to a different part of the pen. Not even five minutes later I see him rushing in front of another long haired kid and I call out watch out for the little girl. To my absolute horror the kid turns around and it's the same fucking boy. He looked me dead in my eyes and yells I'm a boy! His dad looks over at me and is giving me the stink eye. I'm so embarrassed, flustered and generally feeling so bad for what I did to the kid and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, I'm so sorry it's the hair it confused me. Cue the boy looking super sad and he walks over to his dad says somethi...

TIFU I was sleeping and having a very vivid dream, where I had an attacker and bit them. I immediately knew I moved in real life and woke up. My daughter is 5 and as in bed with me, she sat up right away, not knowing what woke her up. I knew I bit her. She didn’t remember anything. I apologized a million time but I still feel like a crazy and abusive mother. I told her that I clearly need to talk with my therapist about what happened. She said “why? It was just an accident because of your dream. You didn’t do it on purpose.” How is my daughter so sweet and rational, while I am here freaking out of my actions and feeling like an unsafe person to be near my daughter now. I luckily have a sleep study coming up in December. But I just cannot believe what happened. TL;DR I bit my daughter in my sleep. Am I unsafe for her?

So I wrote these entries at the beginning of the month. Honestly, what I wrote down wasn't good at all. It was about her sister (B) who lives with us. I wrote down that I am starting to catch feelings for B and that I need to get rid of these thoughts I have about B. It all started when we started going out to the club more and B was looking more attractive in my eyes. I knew this wasn't right and it had bothered me for a couple of weeks. So I thought, "Why don't I just write down how I am feeling and then get rid of it." It seemed like a good idea at the time but the issue was that I had procrastinated with throwing the trash away that I had these entries in. So now this brings me to this weekend, I go out to the store to get some hashbrowns because that's all we were missing for breakfast. When I left I could see that my wife seemed a little different but sometimes she is just in one of those moods. When I got back, I just saw her bawling as her whole worl...

TIFU by not giving my mom anything for her birthday Sorry that this post is a little long. I beg you to hear me out for a minute. Money wasn’t an issue but knowing what to get her was. I hate to admit it but I know very little about my mother and if I ask any other family member I get shit for not knowing. I spent a good amount of my childhood in my room so I didn’t know much. For the last 2 years, I made her breakfast before she went to work and she LOVED it, the year after it was a combined effort with me and my sister but our mom was out with our stepdad for 2 days but loved it when she got back. This year my sister was off to college and ordered our mom some flowers and chocolates, but for a month I was overthinking. Thoughts that ran through my mind were, “Should I get her food?” “No, we both lost weight together and it might be insensitive”. “Should I buy her a back or a foot massager?” “No she has back issues and it might hurt her or she won’t use it”. “A rumba?” “Shit, they ...

Since I learned to write when I was five years old, I have been told that my penmanship is sloppy and hard to read. I've since adapted my handwriting to block letters and that's improved things drastically, but still I found myself not satisfied with the look of my writing. I just started going to college again. I was rapidly taking down notes during a long class when I noticed a nagging pain in my right bicep. Felt like I did 400 reps of 1 lb weights. as I was stretching my arm out, I realized how weird it was that my hand or forearm didn't give out from all the writing; it was specifically the most anterior portion of my right bicep. In a total bolt from the blue, I put all the pieces together. When I was in my first year of grade school, I had broken my right wrist and was in a cast for a good amount of time. I never learned how to use my wrist or hand while I'm writing. I watched my arm as I wrote some nonsense and there it is. Forearm stiff as a board, moved ent...

So last Saturday, I (32M) went out to lunch with a friend of mine, Jack (32M). We've known each other since college, and have the same sense of humor, so we tend to be a little loud whenever we're joking in public. Jack asked to get lunch because he knew my partner, Naomi (29F), was out of town for a conference and I would be free. We went to lunch at a quiet diner near me. At the start of the meal, we were chatting a bit before he said something along the lines of "I'm glad we could have some guy time while Naomi is away!" I replied by cartoonishly looking side to side, and telling him "Yeah, it's been good! But I need to tell you something. Last night, and I don't know how to say this ...Naomi's roommate gave me a handjob." Jack started to laugh, but before either of us could say else, I felt cold water being splashed on the back of my head. I turned around and saw a 20-something year-old woman staring daggers at me. I guess she was pa...

Looking for some advice and not ready to start pointing fingers yet. I took my dog to an emergency vet about 20-30 min after he was exhibiting signs of bloating. When we get there they notice he’s a bit unstable and rush him to the back to “stabilize” him. 20 min later the vet comes out and tells me he’s exhibiting signs of bloating and recommended I do a few different scans throughout his body so they can confirm and rush him to surgery. After asking some questions I decided the other scans weren’t immediately necessary and ask her to just do the scan on his belly to check if he’s bloated and if it had already turned into GDV which I guess means the stomach had already turned and he needs emergency surgery instead of decompression and an IV. The vet leaves again for another 20 minutes and comes back and confirms it’s GDV and starts trying to show me a picture of the scan on her phone…. She tells me he will die in 2-3 hours if he’s not immediately cut open and has his stomach turned ...

So, this happened yesterday. My boyfriend always raves about this chicken dish his mom used to make when he was a kid. I thought it would be cute to surprise him by cooking it myself. I called his mom, got the recipe, and she even gave me some tips, saying, "It’s super easy!" Spoiler alert: it was not easy. First, I realized halfway through that I didn’t have the right breadcrumbs. I thought, "No big deal, I’ll crush some crackers." Bad idea—the texture was all wrong. Then I got distracted prepping the sauce and left the chicken on high heat. When I flipped it, it was black on one side and still raw inside. Cue panic. I tried to salvage it by cutting it into smaller pieces and cooking them again, but they just turned into dry little rocks. Meanwhile, the sauce I made thickened into something resembling glue. The kitchen smelled burnt, and I was on the verge of tears. When my boyfriend came home, he immediately asked, "What happened in here?" I confesse...

Title: Managed to Snap Both Ankles at a Horse Show This Weekend So, this weekend I was at a horse show in Florida, staying in my friend’s trailer. I was there to take photos of my friends competing, and things were going great—until I stepped out of the trailer. I had my camera in hand, ready to head to the arenas, when my left ankle decided it was done. It gave out completely, and I heard a loud snap. Before I could even process it, I shifted my weight to my right foot, and snap—that one went too. I hit the ground in a heap, and all I could think was, “Please don’t let the lens be cracked.” Thankfully, the camera was fine. My ankles? Not so much. I sat there in pain, trying to figure out if I could even stand, but moving wasn’t happening. My phone was nearby, so I called my friend for help. She rushed over, got me up, and somehow I convinced her to drive me to the arenas so I could still take pictures. Priorities, right? I hobbled around for a bit, snapping shots of my friends’ r...

so last night i (20f) went on a date with this guy ive been crushing on forever. hes super cute, funny, like the perfect guy. we went for sushi and it was amazing, great convo, good vibes, all that. anyways, after dinner he asked me to come over to “watch a movie” (we know what that means lol). i was like omg yes, trying to play it cool. fast forward, we’re on his couch, everything’s chill—then my stomach starts making these insane noises. like not normal grumbles, more like theres a monster in here. im like ok maybe i can ignore it. nope. i excuse myself to the bathroom bc apparently the sushi was NOT sitting right. i go, do what i gotta do, but when i flush… nothing happens. toilet just gurgles at me like nah fam. i try again (huge mistake) and the water starts rising. full panic. so now im in his bathroom, staring at this toilet like its my worst enemy. no plunger, no idea what to do. i literally thought about jumping out the window and disappearing forever. finally i open the d...

Several weeks ago my(32 f) maternal grandfather (80m) had what we suspected to be a stroke. He was entering the last stages of his life and was vehemently anti-hospital. We never got a full understanding of what happened in this instance because he refused to go to the hospital, but think like can't walk, speech, not making sense, trying to get undressed and random spaces etc. He was just under 6 ft. And my grandma and Mom are both well under 5'5, and physically could not manhandle him to get him to bed. So I had the bright idea that I was going to go and purchase a simple folding wheelchair so that they could get him two doctor's appointments and back and forth from the car with less trouble, which is where our story begins... I get the call about his stroke at roughly 6:00 p.m. and make the decision to call out of work the next day to support this change in his life. Immediately I start googling where in town I can pick up a wheelchair same day. I don't want to out ...

Obligatory: this happened yesterday, but I guess it started during the COVID lockdown. Way back in the days of lockdown, I had to renew my firearms license. Here in Canada, they're called a Possession and Acquisition License (PAL) and they're super important to keep up to date. You can get into trouble if you let it lapse and own any guns. As a result, they go out of their way to make the process easy and painless. During lockdown when it was difficult or impossible for people to get a license photo taken, they were allowing renewals to carry over the old photo. I completed the renewal process, and got the identical-looking license with the identical-looking photo. I followed the enclosed instructions: destroy the old one immediately and put the new one in a safe place. The old license went into the shredder, and the new one went into my fire safe. And there it sat for years. I did target shooting in university, but since then I haven't had the money to keep up with the...

So I have this disease called Addison's. It is the body's lack of self production of cortisol/cortison. Think diabetes but not as intense but kinda as deadly. So I feel really nauseous waking up and usually throw up a few times before I get into the getting which never bothers me because I am quite used to it after a bunch of years. I just use some mouthwash to try to give my teeth a pat on the back like "I got you". Well today I threw up just before going to work and washed my mouth and gargled, spit it out, picked up my coworker and drove over to the site. We walked in and signed in and did the normal and usual breath test and it said I failed. That's when I realized it could affect the machine... My buddy next to me patted my shoulder and went; "never use it in the morning close to working hours. I always do nights before bed. " TL:DR Today I F:ed up not realizing mouthwash would show up on a breath test. Like a true idiot. And yes, I probably got f...

(25M) I ended up in Maidreamin' maid cafe in akihabara on my own. I'm visiting Japan with some friends and didn't want to eat where they were going, but I still needed food. "If you're in akihabara you HAVE to visit a maid cafe right? Just for that experience." Is what I've always thought. Now I'm 25M and have never had a girlfriend, all I do is work and while I have hobbies and friends that I leave the house for, I am very much on the path to being alone, just the way I am living my life. And I was honestly okay with that. So I entered the cafe and I see this absolute stunner. This girl was an absolute 10/10 and she was so beautiful I actually thought she was one of the maids at first. So I start asking her questions like "table for one?" "Do I need to make a reservation?" But it turns out she was actually a customer! And not to be rude, but she put the maids to shame. When I've hit on girls in the past (once per year or so...

For context, I was married to someone for two years but together for eight years total and most of all, I was unhappy. The marriage was over way before I realized my feelings for another man (still in the process of divorce). It’s just that there was nothing but constant arguing and fights over small things. He was always demanding respect and attention and wasn’t always great on returning any of that. He constantly prioritized his friends (which isn’t necessarily bad but it’s not what I wanted in our relationship). Finally I felt like the negativity and bitterness started adding up and I realized that I didn’t want this in a long term relationship. I didn’t know what I wanted but it wasn’t this. I don’t feel like I ever had the chance to explore what I really wanted in a relationship because I never gave myself the chance. I just threw myself at the first guy who took interest (low self esteem) and it hasn’t paid off. It felt like our relationship was a sunk cost fallacy where I just...