greenmangostudio

I’m 44, my wife is 36. We’ve been married for 12 years and we have a child together. I always thought our relationship was stable, not perfect but strong enough to handle the usual ups and downs. But lately something has changed, and honestly, it’s been bothering me. My wife used to have private social media accounts, mostly sharing family trips, birthdays or just casual life updates. A few months ago she suddenly unlocked her profile and started posting way more pictures. Some of them are let’s just say, more provocative than I’ve ever seen her share before. She’s dressing more revealing, putting on more makeup, even when there’s no special reason for it. Of course, everyone has the right to feel confident and show off if they want to. I get that. But it feels less like self-confidence and more like she’s actively seeking attention and not just mine. People (mostly guys) leave comments and likes, and she seems to really enjoy the attention. I’m not jealous in the “controlling husb...

This happened a few hours ago and I had no one to tell but a bunch of strangers on the internet. So I am travelling and my flight was overbooked so I had to spend the night and following day in a country I don't know. I then decided to take a walk just to see my surroundings and one of the hotel workers who was getting off work recognized me and we got to chatting. He was really nice and offered to show me around the city. We toured and toured and I was very happy( beautiful city) He then says he knows one spot where we can get a coffee and chat with locals, all that good stuff and I say "why not?". So we get to the spot and it's just as expected beautiful women, music and drinks. We are welcomed with smiles and handshakes, I felt like royalty. One by one these women are coming to me, introducing themselves to me and we have a quick chat. I even danced with them, it was a blast. All the while this is going down I'm thinking to myself(They are only this nice to ...

so i met my long distance bf after a really long time. We were planning on having sex after a few drinks, but i blacked out as soon as we started. I didn’t even drink too much and i was so confused after i realised what had happened but i got to know that antidepressants lower your tolerance and i started them recently so maybe thats what happened? but i feel like i fucked our much awaited moment up by being stupid and irresponsible. we dont know when we’ll be able to meet next and i feel so shitty cause i dont remember anything i feel like i didn’t spend time w him at all. on the other hand its also very scary knowing i was enaging w him sexually while i was blacked out and i have no idea what we did. this sucks idk how to deal w this. edit: by blackout i mean i had alcohol induced amnesia, i didn’t pass out, i just have no memory of our time together at all, there is like a gap in my memory, i realised that after a few hours when we were leaving and i realised how much time had pas...

This happened half an hour ago. I live together with my gf and her daughter (almost 4). The girls dad went with her to a birthday party of some relative and my gf and I we're alone. She seduced me wearing this really sexy dress and a Butt Plug with a pink Cat tail. Afterwards we showered together and forgot to clean Up this Butt Plug. Idk were it was tbh and thought my gf put it away. Later that evening the girl came Home, found the Butt Plug with the pink tail and played with it, spinning it around in the air amd enjoying her new toy. My gf and I tried to remove it from her without success so her dad came in, saw what was happening and Boy was he shocked but also very amused. The girl wanted to Show her new toy to her uncle (my gfs Brother) who lives upstairs but luckily he didnt open the door. The girl asked us what her new toy was and my gf told her it was the toy from the neighbors cat and we had to give it back. Sadly this didnt Work as intended because my almost step daught...

TL;DR: My girlfriend is a top-tier chef who's so good she's rejected opportunities to work at one of the world's best restaurants. I made her one toastie during her period and now she's demanding I make it daily because apparently I'm better at melted cheese between bread than she is. This happened about a month ago but I'm still processing the absurdity of it all (as I'm making her a toastie). So my girlfriend is basically a Goddess tier chef. She's worked at restaurants that people literally book flights to visit. We're talking the kind of place where you need to make reservations months in advance. She once turned down a job offer some rating authorities consider one of the best restaurants in the world, because she ate there as a customer first and decided their garden salad was uninspired and their wait staff were weird. When we moved in together, I quickly learned that despite being a decent cook myself, I was now living with someone who co...

Hi, so some background here. This happened a few years ago, its haunted me in my sleep, my waking thoughts and tortured me relentlessly for months after this happened and still does from time to time. Yes I am white as you may have guessed, and AFAB. (Assigned female at birth) Since its been a few years Ive come to better terms with it and would rather look at it as an embarrassingly stupid story than something I take to my grave. In highschool there was a group of students selected/nominated by teachers every year for being leaders within their classes and would be invited to a "leadership retreat" in the mountains with the other students nominated and some school staff. Myself and a friend of mine were simultaneously selected for this trip our sophmore year. Me and my friend (who I'll call G) decided to share a dorm room for the few days we'd be there. The leadership retreat was mostly group bonding activities, as well as giving us insightful problem solving activ...

So my daughter's have a pet axolotl (kind of a cross between a fish and a salamander, with external gills) And they came into me from their playroom panicking as she was just... Floating in the water. So I went in, and saw it lying on the surface of the water, limp and just... Spinning in the current from the filter pumps. So. I opened the tank, and poked the axolotl. Nothing. I apologised to the kids, explained that it looked like she was dead. Cue tears, wailing and just... Horrible times. (Wife was out) After a few hours, and planning what to do with the body, discussing with the girls that perhaps anotjet axolotl may not be the best bet due to all the care they take. My wife popped her head into the playroom... And the axolotl was there, walking along the bottom of the tank. Looking for food, perfectly happy and healthy. Happy days. APPARENTLY. This is just something axolotls DO sometimes. Except from the heartbreak the girls (and I!) experienced TL;DR: I thought my da...

So today I f***ed up. I was lying in the bathtub like a Roman emperor after leg day, completely broken from the gym. The warm water was hugging me like my mother never did, and I had my face wash on- the “don’t open your eyes or you’ll go blind” type. Now here’s the problem: nature called. Not politely. Not a gentle knock. This was a SWAT team raid level of urgency. Option A: Stand up, stumble half-blind like a foaming raccoon, dripping water everywhere, and somehow make it to the toilet without breaking my neck. Option B: Embrace my inner caveman instincts. Reader, I chose survival. The moment was pure bliss. I’m not proud, but I swear, that stream felt like 400 years of ancestral pain leaving my body. Somewhere, my great-great-grandfather nodded in approval. And here’s the kicker- once the deed was done, I realized I had just joined the secret society of “bathtub pee-ers.” A club no one admits they’re part of, but deep down, humanity knows. Do I regret it? Not entirely… but n...

So TIFU, I decided to let my inner dumbass take the wheel. I’m in my 30s, work in penetration testing at a big tech company (no, not that kind of penetration, get your head out of the gutter). One of my coworkers, Donny (52M), is the kind of guy who argues just to argue. His favorite topic? How Android is superior to iPhone. Normally I let him rant and nod along, but this morning I was cranky and thought, “Screw it, let’s actually prove him wrong.” Bad idea. I used one of our tools that we normally reserve for controlled testing (and absolutely not for random pranks on coworkers) and slipped something onto his phone. The setup was simple: every 30 minutes, his phone would automatically text his wife, “Mommy, I shit my pants. Can you come pick me up from work?” He had no clue this was happening in the background. About two hours later, his wife finally called. Donny usually takes calls on a headset, but of course not this time. She was loud enough for half the office to hear: “WTF ...

Today I'm menstruating. The clothes are important in the story. No, this isn't about a red stain appearing in the middle of white pants. It's a dress, and black. A full knee-length dress, black with tiny geometric pattern. I went to the public restroom with a single tampon to change. I removed the dirty one, did the biological things, cleaned myself properly, and went to put in a new tampon. It just wouldn't go in. I pushed a little harder and it still encountered resistance. It was a tampon without an applicator. For those who don't menstruate, or have never used tampons without an applicator, let me explain: with an applicator, you insert a plastic tube and push the tampon in place, but without an applicator, you have to push it in with your fingertip. But if both methods work, why do some people pay more for one with applicator? The reason for this is that the tampon is really rough, and if your canal isn't really lubricated from your period, it hurts lik...

I love indie perfumes. I use smell to create stronger memory association for myself and provide a small dose of daily joy by occasionally catching whiffs of good scents; but I always apply just enough (usually one or two puffs) to keep it personal and no one should be choking on a cloud of my preferred fragrance by any means. I recently re-acquired a special edition scent that I saved for myself prior to leaving for an overseas deployment and I was over the moon to discover it smelled like freshly baked maple bar donuts. This past week has been particularly bad for mental health, but I got a small boost to my day yesterday when a coworker brought in donuts, so I thought I'd give myself a lil pep-scent of this maple bar perfume to get through the last workday of the week. Got to work and everything is fine, typical Friday, but as I'm bringing parts back to our warehouse to wrap up for the day I notice 2 coworkers visibly hunting for something. It was evident they were look...

So today I hopped on one of those electric scooters with my friend. Right before we started he literally told me “don’t mess around on your phone while driving” Of course I thought I knew better and didn’t listen. We rode maybe 100 meters and I was already scrolling through my phone like an idiot. Out of nowhere I hit a bump and completely lost control and wiped out hard. I went flying and landed flat on the ground… right in front of a group of like 10 girls who were walking by. The sound of me crashing was loud enough that everyone turned their heads and my friend was laughing so hard he almost fell off his own scooter. Meanwhile I tried to stand up quickly and brush it off like nothing happened but the damage was done. I was bruised, embarrassed and holding my phone like the dumbass who just ignored the most obvious advice. So yeah today I f***ed up by learning the hard way that texting and scootering is a terrible idea. TLDR Texted on a scooter and crashed in front of everyone ...

This happened last week. I have nasty toenails. A friend who used to be a nurse stopped by to chat and she mentioned that she used iodine on her toes to get rid of fungus. I was willing to try anything so I got some and I applied it liberally to my toenails for four days in a row. When I woke up on Saturday morning my lips and fingers were numb. I didn't have any energy at all either. I asked chatgpt because healthcare is too expensive and chatgpt said it could be signs of a stroke or a "TIA". I passed the FAST test for a stroke and didn't think that was it. The only thing I changed from my normal routine was the iodine. So I stopped that shit. By Monday I was back to normal with very little improvement on my toenails.. tl;dr I poisoned myself with iodine for the sake of nice toenails.

Obligatory didn’t happen today, rather a month ago. After seeing the other work bathroom story, I remembered this. The place I work at is in a sketchy area of the city. The public bathrooms we have are almost always wrecked, rarely getting cleaned. There’s a singular toilet close to my desk for only staff to use, which I frequently take advantage of. I went to go use it after my morning coffee kicked in, and all was normal. Until I had to flush. The normally powerful flush toilet became clogged, which sent my excrement towards the edge. There’s no plunger either, so I couldn’t care for it on my own. When I left the bathroom to go make a sign and call maintenance, I overheard other staff muttering about the broken toilet. Which they knew about, but never made a sign for. I watched in shame, as 3 grown men got to play in my waste as they tried to fix the toilet. Found a different staff bathroom after that. TL;DR Used staff bathroom, wasn’t aware it was broken.

So I had used orange and lime juice making lunch but only half and orange and lime, I decided “hey, I eat lemon juice with yogurt and sugar sometimes, I’ll make that to finish it off🤪” but no yogurt, it has mold so I got sour cream and noticed I had a ghost pepper that had been sitting around for a day or two so I diced it with the sugar and put in the sour cream. I then ate the abomination but then, of course it burned and was also too* sweet so I added rice vinegar. It burned of course and a drank milk, but that made it worse for now my stomach felt like it was gonna explode “take me to the hospital, I’m gonna die” level explode and then I threw up, and felt quite a bit better. TL;DR: I ate sour-cream with orange juice, lime juice, sugar, rice vinegar and diced ghost pepper before throwing up. (Edit; wrong too)

So this happened yesterday. I work remotely, and we had a big client meeting scheduled with my boss and about 12 other people on Zoom. I thought, This is my chance to look sharp and professional.”So I put on my best shirt, fixed my hair, and even practiced my “attentive nodding” in the mirror. The problem is, I only dressed from the waist up. Below camera level, I was rocking SpongeBob pajama shorts. No big deal, right? I’ve been doing this for years. Halfway through the meeting, my boss says, Can you share your screen, but also grab that binder from your shelf? It’ll be easier to explain. Now, my shelf is about three feet behind me. I figured, I’ll just stand up quickly, grab it, and sit back down before anyone notices. What I didn’t account for was two things: My webcam was tilted down slightly. My pajama shorts are BRIGHT YELLOW with little Patrick Stars all over them. I stood up, heard a weird silence, then the client bursts out laughing. My boss mutters, Oh my god, and one of t...

So I am pretty sure either on stream or talking to a friend the other day I described the troll as Mongreloid. Someone said “that’s a slur” I have since learned up the definition for two different words both of which offensive. The funny thing is the internet doesn’t know the word I said…..that’s because it wants to autocorrect. It assumes you cannot be referring to the 10 minute short film from 1978 MONGRELOID which is apparently about a man having weird fantasies about his dog. That I have been told is a “creepy dog man”. This is a very multifaceted joke but fuck it’s good. 1. That movie FUCKED my mom up. 2. The internet made me more offensive factually. 3. I am so fucking not normal that I have thought Mongreloid was a common term my whole life. 4. I have been saying this and offending everyone I’ve said it to in one of two ways apparently. TL/DR don’t reference obscure short films to your children without fully explaining what they’re about they may end up accidentally being raci...

For context, I despise shaving. It takes forever to put on the cream, run the razor across the skin, rinse off said razor and repeat...several million times. So when I discovered the Nair Body Cream, I was ecstatic. The first time I used it, it went swimmingly. I instantly fell in love. But the second time, this time, was my downfall. I put it on my bikini line, which i had done the first time so I thought it would turn out fine. However, I did not know I had a raw chafing sore. When I put the cream on it, the sore burned like hell. I gritted my teeth and was about to wipe it off when pain became a dull ache. Me, being the idiot I am, decided to keep it on there for the rest of the ten minutes. I passed the time by watching YouTube and ignoring the stinging. When I stood up, the stinging started again and I literally groaned in pain with tears in my eyes. Then came to wipe it off with a towel. Jesus christ did I regret my decision. It felt like literal sandpaper scraping across my ...

When I first met my ex, she used to invite me to eat cake with her and her friends. It felt cute and simple in the beginning. But everything got messy so fast. We had a video call once. She never wanted to show her face. Always said her hair was “a mess.” Later, she told me she had autism. According to her. Our conversations were mostly one-sided. We planned to meet at the park, but she canceled, saying she hurt her leg. She told me her ex abandoned her. That another guy left her for someone else. I tried to be there for her. Then one day, I got robbed and almost lost her number. I noticed she didn’t care at all. She even said she wouldn’t text me anymore unless I texted her first. She talked a lot about her cats and her nephews with autism. She got extremely angry when her cousin mentioned she used to drink with her ex. Later, I invited her to the movies because she always said we never went out. At first, she said no because she was embarrassed. Then she said yes. The next day,...

Hey Reddit this is my firt ever post so I hope you guys have a laugh over my stupidity!! Ok so I (19F) have a best friend (18M), lets call him Conan, we are very very close and I love him with all of my heart. Unfortunately a cople days ago Conan's brother passed, it was a horrible car accident, he was young, healthy and with his whole life ahead of him. My heart shattered hearing the news, at the end of the day I was somehow close to his brother too, I considered him family, I went to the funeral and to see Conan in this situation hurt more than I thought it would. In the same week it happened I really wanted to go to the cemetery alone to talk to Conan's brother in a way, I don't necessarily belive I have to go there to talk to him but it felt right to do so, but that's the part I fucked up, I asked my mom to drive me there (she also went to the funeral with me), when we arrived we had to go and find his gravestone, after a while we find the place, but we are no sur...

I feel dumb for this rn like I always thought my regular insurance had me covered if anything ever happened to my jewelry (Rings, necklaces, some expensive pieces) like I figured it was all safe under my policy. Most renters/homeowner’s policies only cover jewelry up to a certain limit (mine was $1,500 total which is about the price of a macbook). When I actually called my broker to ask him he straight up told me they couldn’t do anything if I lost one of my nicer pieces. Jewelry is so easy to lose like 1 bad day and I could’ve been out thousands thinking I was protected when I wasn’t so luckily I found this out before it was too late and I ended up adding separate jewelry coverage which was way cheaper than I expected and now I can actually relax knowing I’m not one small moment away from bleeding thousands. TL;DR: TIFU by blindly trusting my insurance policy without reading the fine print like if you’ve got anything valuable do yourself a favor justcall your agent and check befor...

I'm trying to figure out how to find a way to change my name and move countries before my shift tomorrow. I was in the back organizing some things, and it was a fairly chill day today so we were the only ones working back there. We talk to each other quite a bit but we both like to listen to music so she had earbuds in and so did I. My morning coffee fucked up my stomach a bit this morning since I forgot to pack my lactaid, and I wasnt going to waste a 5 dollar cup of coffee by not drinking it. It probably also didn't help that I wasn't able to take a shit this morning. Originally I was holding it in, but I got a little too into listening to the music and forgot she was in there with me. I ended up easing the fart out and it was silent (or silent enough idk we were wearing headphones). It had to be one of the longest farts i've ever laid, I started smelling it before it even finished. This shit was so hot pants actually felt warm. Then it hits me that my crush is stil...

For context my sister has three cats and one is named Scooby, he’s kinda a dick but a good cat. Where the story starts is I was getting melatonin from my parents room as my dad has some for his work schedule, and Scooby ran into the room. He dives under my parents bed as I go to my dad’s side of the bed, to look for an item to poke him out from under the bed. Where I fuck up is I grab a yellow tunnel thing not knowing what it is and thinking it’s a flashlight, due to my dad does a lot of manual labor and construction projects around the house. I pause and was holding it then found the buttons and the opening, thats when it dawned on me what it was. So I panicked and put it back only to realize the cat left the room when I was preoccupied. Tl;DR: cat went under parents bed and I found my dads sex toy

Today i tried to reinstall windows(wanted to free up some space) and accidentally removed partition on my hard drive which i use for storing family photos/videos(100 gb full of photos and videos). When i realised my mistake it was already too late and now HDD wont even wont let me to copy files to other drive(tried using testdisk but it couldnt analyze the disk fully). And to cap it all of its now corrupted and doesnt even load properly I havent told my parents yes but im sure theyre going to be furious when they hear about this because there were photos from past 10-11 years that they really value. And it wasnt just their photos it was from basically whole family(grandparents, older sister, cousin etc). Now i dont know what to do because i cant afford repair and cant repair the HDD myself TL:DR: i accidentally deleted my family photos and videos from past 11 years

Not today but many years ago. I’ve always been a bit clueless and think that most girls wouldn’t want to flirt with me and I’m sure over the years I have missed some good opportunities. This one incident happened when I was a teenager. I was active in my churches youth group and I would drive other kids around and take them home etc. for a few months there was this girl with red hair that I thought was cute but didn’t think anything would happen, I hadn’t had any serious girlfriends yet. She would always hang out around me and would always try to get me to take her home and ride in my truck with me. I drove a manual transmission truck with a bench seat and somehow she always ended up sitting next to me so I’d have to reach between her legs to shift the truck. She’d let me rest her hand on her knee and just generally sat as close to me as she could. One night she was the last person I had to drop off and we just generally chatted and at her house we got out of my truck and were just ...

Today just wasn't my day, so my ability to think clearly and make logical decisions is not the best. Objectively, I know sleeptime for dogs is important and that I should not have disturbed it. I could not sleep and by trying to get water, I accidentally woke my dog. He refused to get more sleep, so I just decided to check his commands. It went well. We played a bit, he obeyed voiceless commands and all was well. I accidentally signed the "sit" command when I looked elsewhere and was caught offguard by him obeying. This led to me gasping in excitement and leaning forward to praise and pet him, but he got excited and jumped up, knocking his skull straight into my teeth. He is absolutely fine, but my gum is a bit swollen, as well as a headache caused by one of my teeth feeling as if it was thrusted back into my head. There's almost no blood, though. TL;DR: I went in to praise my dog, but he jumped at the same time and knocked his head against my teeth. It hurts. ...

TL;DR: by making sure my toddler eats while I’ve gone without food for days and now I’m exhausted and out of options. I’ve not been eating so my toddler can eat with what little we have. She is my priority, but I haven’t eaten in 3 days. And I thought I could manage until Friday, but I’m completely drained and struggling to think straight. We cant use food bank was refused refferal and told there is a limit on refferals in a timeframe and I can’t get another referral. I don’t have family or friends who can help. We have no means of transport to travel far as not in a city. I even tried doing surveys online for some quick cash, but after hours I didn’t make enough to withdraw. At this point, I don’t know what else to do. I have just enough to keep my toddler fed for a couple more days, but nothing for myself and in a bad place. If knows of any other resources or emergency help I could try to obtain in the UK, I’d really appreciate it.

This happened a few years ago, but I realized it might be fun to post in here, so just a heads up. Not today, but still a very big IFU. I (21F at the time) was a college student that had a leadership position in a club with my friends at my university. It was kind of a big organization and we got to use special conference rooms and office areas in our student union. My friends, also leadership, and I had to have weekly meetings at 7 am every Tuesday (it was unfortunately the only time everyone was available), but on the bright side the restaurant downstairs was always still serving breakfast by the time we wrapped up! They had some killer breakfast burritos, but the only options for hot sauce - or should i say OPTION were these watery, bland, salsa packets that i needed to use like 10 of on one burrito. A few weeks into our team breakfasts, i had ENOUGH of mild burritos. I went to the grocery store that day and bought a 12 oz bottle of hot sauce to take with me to breakfast. I put ...

I don’t even know where to start. Last night I got a bit drunk. Not “fight the cops” drunk, more like “desperately needs canned chili at 1am” drunk. I decided to walk to the gas station because I’m responsible. Left the car (my only smart decision of the night) Also left my glasses. I cannot stress this enough: I am blind without them. Like “guess what animal that blur is” blind. Anyway, I make it to the station, load up on cursed groceries, and begin my march home. Except I immediately realize I have zero clue where I am. No lights. No signs. Every tree looks the same. My brain is completely buffering and, as previously stated, drunk. I step off what I thought was a path and instead discover the river. The cold, flowing, pitch-black river. I fall in, instantly lose my phone, my wallet, and my entire gas station haul. I also got bit by something in that water. Don’t know what. Don’t want to know. So after fighting the current with my entire body and swimming for my literal life, I ...

When I got my wisdom teeth removed, my bottom left hole hurt for excruciatingly longer than expected- for a month it was insanely painful. I was told that you could use cloves in the area to help ease the pain.... Well clearly all logic went with those wisdom teeth because my mind went to garlic cloves and when I tell you the pain was through the roof. It burned so bad, and the area felt WORSE after as opposed to better. I couldn't understand why this wasnt working. Awful awful awful. About a year later I was making Phō and the recipe called for cloves... There was a picture of said cloves.... And I dawned on me.... tl;dr I used garlic cloves instead of regular cloves on my throbbing open mouth wound to "alleviate the pain" P.S. went back to the dentist twice to report the pain before being suggested cloves, all they said was that that area must nust be taking longer to heal than other- eventually, they did a deeper type of x ray and discovered that shards of my wis...

In all my 23 years, I never had a single cavity. Dentist always complemented my teeth, I was so proud, and so on. Then I decided it was a grand idea to not go to the dentist for 3 years because my teeth are fine, right? Well, last week I went back to the dentist and I don't just have my first cavity, I have my first THREE CAVITIES. It was so absurd and the dentist actually congratulated me for getting my first cavities and being a "real adult" now lol. BUT even bigger problem, one of the cavities is MASSIVE. Dentist said it's eaten away almost all of the tooth structure (and is the reason why I finally went 😅) and it needs a ROOT CANAL. So not only is my first cavity actually 3 cavities, but one is so bad that it needs a root canal and crown otherwise it will need to be pulled. So I really f'd this one up and my wallet will be feeling this! TL;DR: Go to the dentist for check ups before you have a massive cavity that needs a root canal.

The wife (F, 36) and I (M, 34) recently upgraded to new phones and I was moving data from one phone to the next. I made the mistake of going through her old text messages (just a few months before we started dating, mind you this was 8+ years ago) and I saw images of her and other guys sharing intimate photos. Granted, I know it's irrelevant now as we've been married for almost 6 years and we have two kids now, but I can't get the images out of my head especially when they were explicit in nature and much more scathing than anything we do now. Things such as dick pics (with guys who were quite larger than me), images and videos of her pleasing herself and such. There's even one image where she said she was so sore from the night before because the sex was so rough and I have never done anything like that (at least not to the point where it required a heating pad like the text and images I saw). It almost makes me feel inadequate compared to some of her previous partne...

So basically, this is going to start off very tmi. Ive been having weird symptoms down there for like two weeks. My doctors and I initially thought it was a UTI because I have had recurrent ones for awhile. I was given antibiotics and finished them this past Tuesday, but I was still having some symptoms although not exactly the same as before. Well, I saw my primary care doctor's nurse on Wednesday and she told me to wait until Monday to collect a urine sample and do a swab and use estrogen cream in the area until then as it could be irritation caused by possible atrophy since I am a trans man on testosterone. And we needed to wait since I had just been on antibiotics. If symptoms are still there by Monday, we would run the tests. I used the estrogen cream on Wednesday night and noticed on Thursday night that I had redness and (again tmi) some discharge in the intimate area 👀 which isnt normally a sign of a UTI and it had been too long to be remnants of the cream plus wasnt th...

For context, my partner and I enjoy some roleplay and BDSM in daily life, not just the bedroom. We swap control depending on the mood, and one of my things is somnophilia (finding cuddling and intimacy while sleepy really erotic). He’s more energetic in the morning and more passive at night, and he’s given consent for me to try initiating while he’s in that sleepy mode. The other night he was giving off the signals I’ve learned to recognize, so I decided to try. I was half drifting off and half playing along until my hand landed somewhere that snapped me awake, and eventually I climbed on top. This is where the mistakes began. First, we were on a bed layered with slippery stuff (pillow top, dust cover, sheet, cooling sheet). Second, he wasn’t centered and I didn’t help him move over, which he couldn’t tell because of his sleep mask. So there I am, riding away, having the time of my life with the man I love, never want to hurt, and fully intend to marry... when I feel my right foot ...

So my roommate is doing an MBA course and his schedule is pretty hectic, he has to take these proctored tests and he told me they are very important for the placements What happened today was that I was in a different zoom meeting talking to some people and he told me that's he's going to do that test and told me not to speak. I could have attended it without speaking but somehow I felt, like an idiot during the meeting that there was a point I could add. Maybe I forgot or maybe I thought one sentence won't affect it that much. So I just turned my mic but as I said he immediately indicated me to stop and I did. I did not speak throughout after that. Finished the meet and then went out for a call. Came back and hr later only to find him very sad. I asked him if it was problem. Initially he did not say anything but after asking again he said that his test might get cancelled. I apologised him again but I don't know what to do now. TL;DR: Spoke during my roommate's...

So this happened yesterday and I still feel like the world’s biggest idiot. My girlfriend (27F) and I (29M) have been dating for almost a year. Her birthday was coming up and I wanted to do something special. I’m not exactly the “grand romantic gesture” type, but I thought hey, a surprise party would be cute. I invited some friends, bought decorations, and even got one of those obnoxious confetti cannons because I thought it would be hilarious. Here’s where I majorly f***ed up: I forgot that she has PTSD related to loud noises. She’s told me about it before, and I knew it was a thing, but in my tiny peanut brain I thought, “eh, she’ll be fine, this is different.” Spoiler: it was not different. She walks in, the lights flick on, everyone yells “SURPRISE!!!” and I set off the confetti cannon. Instead of laughing, she immediately collapsed to the floor shaking and crying. Party goes dead silent. My friends are looking at me like I just punted a kitten into traffic. We ended up spending t...

I’m new to jobs, especially ones in an office setting. I kind of lack social awareness in general and am prone to making stupid assumptions. But, I told myself that I would try my best not to weird people out today. I failed badly. The recruiter was there to answer some basic questions and take my identifying documents to hire me. But, for some reason in my head I thought she was stuck in the room with me until the support specialist came in. So I kept asking questions, about random shit, like where the training is, what happens if a client does that and this because the specialist wasn’t coming in anytime soon. I ran out of questions and started bringing up random shit I noticed like the POP mart figures in the windows. I could tell she was also getting uncomfortable but I thought just blabbing would be better than just sitting in awkward silence. When I finally ran out shit to say, I just paused to see if she would say anything. And she just said something about taking my documents ...

I used to work at a ransomware remediation firm and my job was basically to analyze how the systems got hacked. Part of my job was to hold phone briefings with a cross section of AV vendors (Microsoft, Symantec, etc) and sometimes law enforcement participated in the highest profile cases (like hospitals or huge retailers, especially if it involves a known threat actor)... This was pre-COVID and bureaucracy moves at snail pace, so we were still using an AT&T teleconferencing service where I first dial into a 1-800 bridge, and then I have to press "* 1" plus a phone number to connect each of the participants to the conference call. Well, a few months into this job I thought I was such a hotshot that I started connecting all of these conference bridges from memory. So I got Microsoft and Symantec and the FBI connected, was gonna add another company, dialed * 1 and then their 1-800 bridge from memory. To my surprise, I got a sexy female voice going "thank you for calli...

Next month my girlfriend and I will be together for exactly one year. When we were just a few months together I gave her a silver bracelet for her birthday and then when we were 6 months together a little charm shaped shaped like a heart, to go on the bracelet. In about two weeks we'll be on vacation together and we'll be having our 1 year anniversary while on this vacation. I wanted to be sweet and decided to order another charm for on her bracelet. After searching the website where i got the bracelet and previous charm from, I found a charm that would go nicely with the one she already had from 6 months together. For a little bit extra you can have it engraved and so i decided to let them engraved "1 year" on the front and the date that we'd be together for exactly on year on the back. Here comes the FU, after ordering, I instantly get a confirmation email and notice the date is wrong. I had accidentally used this month (08) instead of next month (09). So now...

TIFU this actually happened a couple years ago but I just thought of it today. Anyone else love gunslinger tricks? Like those guys that can shoot silver dollars and flip pistols safely and shit? Good, me too, and have since I was a kid and saw tombstone, outlaw Josie wales and such. Me and my dad would bond over these movies, and I loved trying to replicate the tricks with my nerf guns, and toy caps guns and such, actually got pretty good for a 10 year old. Fast forward a buncha years, me and my dad didn’t watch the movies as much, but the gunslinger tricks had morphed into a fidget, I would flip just about anything around in my hand, ESPECIALLY if it had a ring/loop (like a revolver would have a trigger guard). My water bottle was one of my favorites at the time. Soon after that I got a job in a small town bike shop, and was gifted a metal coffee mug, think traditional shape, but lightweight aluminum, similar to some camp/travel mugs. That MUG was perfect for flipping around in my h...

Around 10 years ago our office changed phone systems and we were required to set it up before we can do phone conferences. I figured I would do it while watching a TV show, The Good Wife, with my family. Well it got to the point where the setup asked me to record my name for my voicemail greeting at the tone. At the same time of the tone, Alan Cumming delivered the amazing line "the thought of my semen mixed with Bin Laden's". Of course my family and I all started giggling at that horrible timing and I gave up and decided to put off setting up the voicemail. Months later I got dragged to an HR meeting without my manager. The lady started with "well I think you know why you are here but I'm really troubled why you'd do it". It turns out, the first recording took effect. Not only was it used for voicemail but it's also used for our phone conferencing system. It had been announcing "semen mixed with Bin Laden has joined the meeting" to ever...

Figured I'd be smart and "optimize" my laptop storage situation since things were running slower than dial-up internet. Found this tutorial about disk cleanup that seemed foolproof - famous last words, right? Somehow managed to delete not just temporary files but my ENTIRE photo library from the past three years. We're talking vacation pics, family events, random memes I'd been hoarding - all gone in one spectacular click 💀 The kicker? I was literally trying to make space to back everything up to the cloud. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. Spent my entire weekend in full panic mode running recovery software (thank god for free trials). Managed to resurrect about 80% of everything, but learned a very expensive lesson about the difference between "Delete temporary files" and "Delete literally everything you care about." Now I have three different backup systems because apparently I needed to lose everything once t...

So there are times where I forget to throw out my iced coffee and as a result I end up have a near empty (like one or two sips left) drink sitting at my desk for a day or two. I have been getting better about throwing it away after finishing it but this week was not that week. This morning I bought a delicious cup of iced coffee from a local cafe and unfortunately for me I sat it near said leftover one. So there I am typing away, having a blissful day, enjoying life, enjoying coffee. I’m mid typing when I go to take a sip of my coffee to keep powering through work and immediately thought “this isn’t cold”. Que instant panic, immediate spit reaction, and then running to the bathroom to finish spitting and washing my mouth out. Here’s to hoping not too much got swallowed during that incident and that I don’t get sick. TL;DR: Took a sip from a 1-2 day old coffee and now just praying I don’t get sick.

For context I'm half Egyptian, half American. I had to reconnect with my Egyptian culture when I got older and rebuild the relationship with my mama which helped deepen my love for my culture. I will definitely own up to having identity issues so to combat this I've learned my mother's country dishes and I'm currently learning to speak Arabic. I'm not fluent but I can definitely get by. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now and I didn't really speak too much about my culture identity issues, but I have joked that I am literally whitewashed being half white. I have been cooking Egyptian dishes for him the way I learned from my mama and some from the Internet. I've made him ful, molokhia, koshari, baba ganoush and hawawshi. Today he showed me a video on tiktok of an Egyptian restaurant that was only two hours from us and asked if I'd like to go. I didn't think of the repercussions and was just excited to eat some Egyptian food...

Obligatory ‘not today’, but something I’ve just realized I did when I was younger. When I was younger, maybe 8-12, black cherries were my absolute favorite fruit. My mom would bring home a bag or two and I’d happily eat all of them in one sitting. But every single time, not long after, I’d get wrecked—horrible stomach pain, nausea, pounding headaches. When I gained the slightest bit of intelligence, I put two and two together and realized I must be allergic, so I eventually stopped eating my favorite fruit. Fast forward to recently: I found out cherry pits contain cyanide. And when I was a kid? I didn’t just eat the cherries. I chewed and swallowed every single pit. Whole bags of them. For years. My mom swears she warned me not to eat the pits, but I don’t remember it at all and obviously didn’t listen. So yeah…turns out I wasn’t allergic. I was just repeatedly giving myself cyanide poisoning. I was not smart child. TL;DR: As a child, didn’t realize cherry pits contained cyanide ...

I'm on mobile so I apologize if the formatting is weird. I, 25f have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. I'm a heavy girl, bbw if you will. I'm around 200 pounds, and always had issues with losing weight. Now that I'm pregnant with our child (roughly 6 months), I've gotten a bit of a baby belly going on too. My boyfriend is also a big guy, maybe 300-350 pounds but I never cared because I fell in love with him for who he is. And him being a big guy is great since I run cold and he runs hot. Anyway, I was at his house a few days ago spending the day with him when I decided I wanted more than just cuddles. You know, I was in the mood, he looked good laying next to me and so I decided to surprise him by climbing onto his lap. What I did not anticipate, was him having morning wood however. Honestly I should have seen it coming because he gets turned on pretty easily whenever I'm laying next to him or sitting on his lap. So me being me, wanting to wake ...

So this started back in 2020, when we got our first Labrador. We named her Luna, because I received her on a full moon 🌕. I know, very original. Naturally, over time, Luna became Luna Tuna because rhymes make sense when you’re a dog parent and it's nice to call her like that Then in 2023, I fell headfirst into K-dramas and K-pop. If you’ve ever watched a historical K-drama, you know they often call the king Chona (전하). To my brain, this sounded hilariously like Tuna. I know to Koreans, it might not, but I guess it's they way I pronounce Tuna. So Luna Tuna got upgraded to Chona. She obvs loves this name. But it didn’t stop there. Enter BTS, specifically Jin’s song Super Tuna. That’s when I discovered that chamchi (참치) means tuna in Korean. So of course my dog’s name evolved again into Chamchi Chonha that basically means Your Majesty Tuna. 👑🐟 Here’s where the actual f***-up begins. Every night at 9pm sharp, Luna insists on going outside. She never just does her business ...

My dad recently changed jobs and has to return his old laptop soon. Before that, he needs to finish some final setup stuff on it. Now, I’m the kind of person who hates wasting electricity. I hate anything,even a light being on for no reason. His work laptop has this blinding white screen saver that can light up a whole room at night. He’s himself complained about it before. So, being the eco-hero I think I am, I’ve gotten into the habit of just closing the lid whenever I see it open, because that pos screen saver comes on in like 2 minutes. Done it plenty of times before. no issues. Except this morning, my dad asked if I had closed the lid last night. I proudly said yes. That’s when he told me… the laptop was intentionally left open because Outlook was busy indexing his mails. And apparently that takes forever when you have 2000 or so emails. He didn’t yell or anything, but yeah turns out my great “save electricity” move might have just cost him some time. I beleive he had to leav...

Im an aide and work at a high school that I’ve only been at for about two semesters. Last semester, I had my final period (8th period) working with a female math teacher. This semester I work with that same female math teacher, however she’s my 7th period class instead of 8th now. When the bell rang signaling the end of 7th period today, I absentmindedly left an hour early and walked out to my car and went home. I left and ended up completely skipping my 8th period English class because I was so used to going home after her lectures. I’m so embarrassed and I literally feel so dumb. I didn’t realize until too late, when I was already home and checking the time and saw how early it was in the day. Now Im debating if I should adjust my time card or keep my fingers crossed that hopefully no one noticed/the English teacher doesn’t mention it since communication between different departments is very lackluster. TL;DR I left work and hour earlier than I was supposed to. Now losing my mind d...

This happened when I was in 3rd standard (elementary school).During PT period me and my friends Ashwin and Nikhil were playing when Nikhil suddenly found some kind of electronic thing behind the stage Now, Nikhil was obsessed with Hollywood action movies so the moment he picked it up, he said, “Guys this is a bomb, I know how to activate it.” He started saying all these technical words we didn’t understand, but we were so impressed we believed him He told us that the activation was almost done and we needed to test it on someone. Ashwin said, “I know a guy Godson. He’s stupid, let’s test it on him. So the plan was- we’d play hide and seek, and while Godson counted to 100 with his eyes closed, we’d throw the bomb near him. While Godson was counting another friend, Jolbin noticed the “bomb” and got curious. He asked Nikhil what it was. Before Nikhil could stop him they got into a fight over it. Jolbin grabbed it and threw it and it landed on the school’s sunshade. Nothing happened....

So essentially a friend/old coworker (S) of mine who was visiting from out of town whom I haven’t seen in almost 2 years decided that we should hang out with another one of our old coworkers (J) whom I also haven’t seen in about a year. We all were talking til around 2 am in a random park, we were laughing and talking about old times about our shitty job we all used to work at and just having a generally great time. I had left my phone in my car and my fiancé was trying to get ahold of me while also messaging my friend S, she responded and told him we were all just chilling at a park etc. this whole time I knew my fiancé had my location so he wouldn’t have to worry about stuff like that. Anyway we decide to drop S off back home because she has a train to catch in the morning and then it was just me and J. We used to be really close at our old job and would talk about saltwater fish keeping and whatnot. He hasn’t seen me since forever and was asking me about my fiance and how are thi...

Cash only payment so I pulled out the cash the other day. I stuck it on my desk under my monitor so I'd see it when I'm at my PC. I didn't have time to spend on my pc this morning so I didn't see it. Drove all the way there and did some driving around. My brother even bought McDonald's for us to eat before my test. Sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes because they were running behind. Then we find out I forgot my money and they wouldn't let us go to an atm because they were already behind. I transfer to University of Michigan on the 25th. I needed my license so I can commute the 45 minute drive every day. I would've done my test sooner but I've had a super busy schedule with work and summer classes at my community college. I'm 26 and still don't have a license because of anxiety that only got diagnosed and medicated last year. I managed to reschedule for Thursday but there's no time to reschedule if I fail now. There are no buses from me...

The title explains a good bit. A little over a week ago I ordered around 19 individual Pokémon cards from eBay, which was after I tried the same thing on TCGplayer twice but both sets of orders were cancelled and I still haven't been refunded ):, and thought I was in the clear. (Along with this was four booster packs which was the only TCG order which went through.) Only after a conversation with my father did I find out I messed up the shipping address and now most of the orders have gone to the set of houses directly next to me. Immediately after finding out about this I contacted each seller to ensure the few cards that hadn't shipped would be delivered to my place instead. Later that day I drafted up a little hand written note asking if somebody had gotten an excess of packages and envelopes they had not ordered and that those were mine. I gave my name for proof as well as my number and the apt I lived in next to them. I went to the set of houses with the shipping address...

As title suggests. AUS for reference. Today we attended our very first kids birthday party (3yo) with our 2.5yo. My partner and I have never done kids parties before and were really unsure if we should bring a present. We are the kind of people that don't want a heap of toys and tell people not to buy/bring presents when visiting etc. Especially since toys that are easy are plastic, easily broken and annoying. We had our 2.5yo make their very own card to give by painting and drawing and I wrote a simple message too. I thought this would be nice and ok as it sounded pretty chill. When we arrived, others were arriving with gift bags of presents and I felt like IFU. Partner said dont overthink it but I can't help but feel I messed up. So tell me straight, did IFU a little or a lot or possibly not? TL;DR: Did I FU because we hand made a card but didn't take a present to a 3yo birthday party.

Obligatory, was not today, and this account has no connection to me IRL, but I realised my fuckup today. I (19M) was at the pub on Friday night with my mum and auntie (we're pretty close) and this lady (F19) saw me and said she recognised me, i never recognised her and had stated as such but we still chatted for a few moments, she then sat next to my mum and i zoned out, after what im guessing was a few minutes, the lady left the table and my mum had said: "[Lady's name] Likes you, i asked her if she would be the mum to my future grandbabies, she then looked at you, gave you 'the eyes' and was like 'oooo maybe'". I assumed she was joking or drunkenly misread/misheard her, so I stated such. Later, I was with my mum outside and we saw the lady, she came over to us and was chatting to us and I thought about asking her for her number or snapchat, but decided against it, reasoning that I was drunk and so was she, and nothing would've came from it. ...

HI GUYS ok so this is actually so embarrassing I literally can’t even believe this happened to me 😭. For reference I am an 18 y/o female who still lives in the same household as my mom and little sister. (I also share a room with my sister) Sooo you know gotta find a place to hide something like a toy. WELL my dumbass decided it was a good idea to hide said toy in my favorite purse. (It’s huge and has a bunch of pockets. Perfect right?) That’s what I thought..anyways my sister wanted to go see a concert for her birthday and naturally without a second thought I bring my favorite purse. Turns out that they are freaking CHECKING BAGS AT THE FRONT. Idk why I didn’t relate this like i’m so stupid. So naturally I’m mentally freaking out by now like wtf am I gonna do when they pull a fucking dildo out my bag in front of my mom, sister and other people attending the concert??? So I turn to my mom and I’m like “I’m gonna go out my purse in the car” and she’s like “No the line is huge just bri...