greenmangostudio

to preface this, i (18m) was raised in a very strict christian household. my whole life my parents have drilled into me that watching nsfw content was a sin. however, i do not consider myself religious, so i have disregarded this rule. i am a senior in highschool and i live with my parents, but in the basement. it has everything that a basic apartment has, and i pay rent so i basically live on my own (per my request). it's locked off, and only i have a key. every night around 10:30, my parents go into their bedroom where my dad immediately falls asleep and my mom spends about an hour washing her face or whatever. last night around 11:30, i stop hearing noises from their room above me, and decide to open my phone and watch a vid for a bit (can't be too specific bc reddit is being weird but yk what i mean). i connect my airpods, turn on noise cancellation, and push play on the video. about halfway through, i stopped hearing sound from my airpods, so i turned the volume all the ...

TL:DR used piracy site, got taken to a porn site and think I might have my college IT breathing down my neck soon. As the title shows, I was out at College, trying to use a piracy website on my phone. Wasn’t loading the next page so I tapped the ‘next’ thing a few times and, since it’s a piracy website. Porn ad. Block it. Porn ad. Try to scroll away. Porn site. So, I immediately just deleted the tab and went on something else. Now, this isn’t too bad, but I am extremely, extremely concerned about the fact that someone on the IT staff may be scrolling, see the ‘activity’ in my phone (since I was on it for a grand total of ten seconds due to panic). It was a genuine mistake on my end, though, I doubt if I get pulled aside it’d be easy to be able to explain that away. It was on the private tabs so maybe I’m safe but, I highly doubt it. Basically, I fucked up, I hate piracy sites for the porn ads and am just gonna read stuff physically instead because god damn. Tagged as NSFW because I...

TIFU I 22F accidentally took an edible before a date and didn’t realize until it started hitting an hour into the date with 22M. We met on hinge and had been talking for the last few days. The conversation was good on text, but I felt like I was sometimes texting a little more and waiting for his replies. I was already anxious beforehand and my friend thought a cbd gummy would help but it was accidentally a real gummy. I started feeling weird and at first thought it was my new adhd meds and told him in that very moment oh I just got recently diagnosed and I think since I took it before eating it was affecting me badly. Because in that moment I was feeling the racing anxious feeling, but then I realized slowly that oh no something else was wrong. The date was going really well too before everything we were joking around and having a great conversation. I had recommended this really cute Italian place and we both really enjoyed our food. He could definitely tell something was wrong, aft...

So my girlfriend and I went out to brunch to meet her friend and her friends boyfriend. The brunch went really well. Afterward I was talking to my gf and she jokingly says, "admit it, you got a little crush on so and so". Her friend was really cool and physically attractive, there was no denying that. Now obviously what I should have said is, "of course not i only have eyes for you babe". Instead I said something along the lines of "I mean, how could you not?" I was half joking, and my gf and I are very open with each other so I just said what I thought. I felt so bad after though i called and apologized. My gf didn't seem too bothered by it. She admitted it kind of stung but she said gets it and is fine. I don't really believe her and still feel terrible. I really care for her and hate the fact I might have hurt her especially over one of her friends. How cooked am I? TL;DR: I all but admitted to my girlfriend that I have a little crush on her f...

This is one of the most humiliating things that has happened to me in a while, and thank god it was anonymous and only seen by internet strangers. My dad wanted me to post about a particular situation, and he does not use Reddit. I posted on a popular subreddit that isn’t super saturated. When typing the story, I was on the phone with my dad so he could tell me the details, and I was mostly taking notes. I need silence when writing, or I will completely shit the bed. My dad continued to talk as I was typing the story. I posted it without reviewing it and noticed people quickly looking at it. The post got absolutely clowned. I first got questions about using ChatGPT. Others said they were surprised I went to college. It felt like I was part of a humiliation ritual. I was so embarrassed. I looked back at the post and agreed that it was poorly constructed. So, if anyone posts, especially in a subreddit that will garner attention, check the grammar in your posts. TL;DR: I made a post wit...

This happened yesterday but I’m dealing with the consequences today. I (F25) have been planning a beautiful spring trip, and it’s some heavy travels, away from home for 2 months. Going to see my boyfriend after some time apart, I live on the east coast and will be on the west for a bit. This trip is a first for me and took a lot of planning. My parents are watching my dog for me, they are in Kentucky. So yesterday I left for my first leg of travel: grabbed a rental, loaded mine and my dogs stuff, and hit the road for about an 8 hour drive. Plan was to leave around 10am, but I woke up at 5am with my monthly (naturally). Cramps, back pain, general fogginess, the whole 9-yards. Whatever, it’s a part of having a V and mama ain’t raise no baby. So I pull up to the Budget car rental as planned, and they give me a car with these nice seat warmers, I’ve never owned a car with them. I run those bad boys at full heat the entire 8 hour drive. Back pain completely gone. Feeling great and crui...

Ok for context I (29M) am NOT a babysitter. Actually not a fan of kids in general. But a family friend asked me to babysit their seven year old and I need the money so, I figured why not. The mom gives me freedom of the castle so to speak, just entertain her kid while she’s away for a few hours. The kids playroom / spare bedroom is in the basement. That’s where we spent most of our time. I’m making up games but they’re mostly not connecting because the seven year old is unimaginative and not fun and mostly a little shit. The only thing she likes is when I fake injure myself, or chase her around. So we’re doing one of the fake chase around things, she dives through the bunk bed ladder in the spare bedroom. I go to follow her. But my shoulders immediately don’t fit through the rungs. “You’re too big!” She mocks. Don’t ask me why, but it rubbed me the wrong way. So against science and reason, I force my shoulders through. It is painful. But eventually my top half is through. Smugly, I...

I live in a shared residence building like a hostel where there are some girls of my age too, but mostly boys. They live downstairs and I live upstairs. It was a rough day and I wanted to take a shower but the bathroom of my floor was occupied. So I went downstairs as the bathrooms weren't restricted to one floor only. I went downstairs and decided to take bath there as it was not occupied. As I was bathing, I heard a thump on the door. The door was wide open and I was naked, bathing in the shower. One of the girls was standing still at the door. The door latch was so weak that it falls down even with slight movement, that I totally forgot about. We both froze and I suddenly closed the door without saying anything. Today morning I saw her while having breakfast. She was looking at me constantly with a death stare. But at last smiled and went away. TL;DR: I trusted a weak door and was caught showering.

There’s a girl I work with that I really like a lot. We joke around a lot and sometimes I think she might be flirting with me, but I haven’t worked up the courage to ask her out. And after today I don’t know if I ever will. She seemed like she was in kind of a bad mood today. She wasn’t acting rude or anything, just didn’t seem as in the mood to joke around. No worries, I just won’t bother her. Well, she was in the back doing the dishes and I went back there to get a spatula. She must’ve heard me say I was going to get one, because she had a spatula in her hand that she pointed at me and said “take this”. Even though she was obviously not in the mood for joking today, I for some reason thought she was pretending that the spatula was a gun and was saying “take this!” as if she was shooting it at me. So I pretended to get shot and slumped down the wall. She looked at me with the most confused, concerned expression and I realized she was not, in fact, pretending to shoot me, but was ju...

So, I'm (32M) an English and Spanish teacher, and I thought I was being all responsible and organized grading papers before spring break. Big mistake. Last Thursday, my 3rd-period class was knee-deep in The Great Gatsby . One of my students (15F) got pulled out of class by a math intern (23 or 24M) to help her friend (17M) with health stuff. She left her vocab worksheet on her desk. I decided to grade it later. Here's where I messed up. I started grading, and I noticed some extra commentary in the margins. Turns out, my student had poured her heart out about her crushes. And not just any crushes, but Jay Gatsby and Nick Carraway. Yeah, the literary kind. She was even writing some intense love scenarios between them. Then she wrote about wanting to kiss a girl in her grade, even though her parents are strict about dating. It was super personal. She clearly never meant for anyone to see it, especially not me. I gave her an A on the worksheet because it was otherwise fine. But...

I woke up bright and early this Saturday after a hectic Friday night of not drinking ( go me ) I'm not even sure why , I can't go anywhere I'm literally rained in ( NW Qld ) so I decided to make a coffee and tidy up in the kitchen . Now last night I had a bit of a craving for chilli ( Shanez fire sausez , death by fire sause rated 10 out of 10 on the heat scale , not for the faint of heart ) so I'm pigging on some chicken an veg rice you know onion garlic tomato and peri peri sause then we do dabs of the death by fire sause every couple of bites . Great time , it burns going in and it burns coming out . I mean your piss and shit burns coming out the next day . It's fantastic . So 6 am there is that bottle of demon sause on the table still, so I grab it, screw the lid on and put it in the fridge . I make coffee , I turn on the TV , I sit down and drink some coffee and then , without thinking, I scratch my balls , and it wasn't a quick scratch , I had a good old ...

For 10 plus years I have joked my wife has a decompression chamber because she basically never farts or even sneezes in front of me. It was almost weekly I'd comment that " not everyone has a decompression chamber" when she would comment about a fart or a burp. Fast forward to last night where we were out with family and others. We were eating spicy pizza and other stuff that could upset stomachs or cause gas, my wife turns to me. "After all that the ladies should probably spend some time in the gas chambers." She said "...what?"I said absolutely bewildered by what was said. " You know the gas chamber that you say all women need" she said. Now everything is quiet and people are definitely listening to us. " You mean decompression chambers? That old joke I always say?" I said making sure to emphasize joke because I definitely look like I hunt bigfoot on the weekends and have controversial opinions. "Oh yeah that not gas ch...

I stood in queue in the cruel and unusual March heat for two hours to receive my vaccine shot. After feeling no side effects whatsoever, I decided to go to the McDonald's near the vaccination site. I stood in front of the one service person in there silently for a bit, when she looked up and asked me, "You are dead?" I thought I must have misheard. This is the chaos that then ensued: Me: Huh? Service person: You are dead? Me: Excuse me? Service person: You are dead? Me: Come again? Service person: YOU. ARE. DEAD? Me: No! Why would you think that of me? She then went to the cash register and said, in a thick West African accent, "Can I take your order?" An hour later I got back to the hotel and it dawned on me what had happened: The poor woman had simply asked me over and over again if I had ordered. "You ordered?" I was just too woozy from the heat to really filter through the accent. It sounded exactly like "You are dead?" She ...

Late last night i was doing some photogrammetry using Canoma in a VM, i was using old aerial imagery to reconstruct 3D models of buildings that have since been redeveloped in the town i grew up in. What i forgot was my half a Terrabyte boot SSD was getting full fast for some reason, i was planning on fixing it but it seemed a non-issue as there was still 100gb or so left. I decided to render a quick video of my creation, it's going well and it looks almost exactly what i saw when i was a kid, that was, until the VM just crashed. I don't mean it BSOD'd, i mean the hypervisor itself crashed, which is werid, but not uncommon, luckily i'd saved my work, but was annoyed my render would have to be done again, it said the cause was Disk0 becoming full, which i stupidly assumed was the VM's virtual drive, i tried to save the machines state but it became frozen and i had to use task manager to kill it. That's when i found out, 0 bytes free on drive C, i rebooted my ...

So today is a semi busy day and with that I (26f) was rushing to get out of the apartment and get things done. With all the chaos of the morning I didn’t bother picking up and I just headed out. Figured I would clean up later and I live alone so no big deal. Around lunch time I get a call from the front office notifying me their pest control guy is starting in my building as they do every quarter and just said ok and didn’t think past it. Mind you I’ve let this guy in when I’ve been home before so we also chit chat and he will get extra spots if I need it. He’s like my parents age and always really polite and helpful. Point being he knows me on a customer level. I get home not long after to let my dog out and walk into my room and to my amusement (utter shock) I left my toys out to dry from earlier this morning… along with my iPad… and headphones… and my underwear… all laying there on my bed. There was no wondering what happened in that room before he got there. Now Im hoping I nev...

(This happened many years ago, but I've never shared the story, and of course I won't share personal details nor are they important to the story). I was excited one morning to see that a fellow parent (and NBA player) of our preschool was at morning drop off. It was a rare occasion to see them or have a chat as their wife was almost always present instead. They were always a very friendly family and we had a healthy casual acquaintance that often brought short conversations in passing. As I greeted him I suddenly remembered that I hadn't seen him since hearing the big news of their newest child being born. ME: Hey ____! Congratulations! THEM: (Nods with that obligatory pulled back smile we all know) ME: (thinking: something seems off. Maybe I wasn't specific enough) So happy for you guys. Do... TEACHER: (Interrupting me and whispers into my ear) Hey, they lost. My eyes go wide. That crazy sinking feeling hits me and I freeze. They check into attendance as I turn...

I am trying to be a truck driver because its the fastest job I can get and fix my personal situation. I have been studying the CLP test for about 1 month. I use the CDL prep apl to study and the DPS CMV Manual as well. Texas has a section called Texas Rules and it's not on the app so I tried using Quizlets, cristCDL and pdf to ai test to make the manual a quiz. I took the test not to long ago the first time and failed the Texas CVO exam. So I studied it intensly using the meathods I mentioned then decided to take the test today a second time. The questions on there didn't align to what I was study so I pull out my phone and start cheating. Anyway I got caught (which is deserved) and they say I can come back tomorrow but I need to figure out how to study this properly. TL;DR: I fucked by cheating on the CLP exam at DPS and got caught. They told me I can start over tomorrow.

Let me set the scene. It was a chaotic morning. I’d overslept, had five minutes to get ready, and was already halfway to a meltdown over my to-do list. The kind of day where you’re just trying to survive until bedtime. I rushed into the bathroom, splashed some water on my face, and reached for my trusty face cream. Something I use religiously to keep my skin hydrated and, you know, not falling off my face. Without giving it a second glance, I grabbed a white tube from the counter, popped the cap, and slathered a generous amount all over my face like a human cinnamon roll getting iced. It did feel… different. There was a slight tingling sensation, but my brain rationalized it as “oh, this must be that active ingredient doing its thing” or “maybe I exfoliated too hard yesterday.” You know how skincare can feel a little tingly and we just trust the process? Yeah. That was me. Completely trusting, not questioning a thing, and walking out of the bathroom like I’d just done something good ...

Alright, this actually happened over the weekend, and I’m still a bit shaken (and relieved) writing this. So, my girlfriend (25F) and I (26M) have been together 3 years, and I wanted to do something really special for her birthday coming up. I decided I’d plan a surprise party and propose to her at the party in front of our friends and family. 💍 Ambitious, I know. The past few weeks, I’ve been sneaking around organizing everything – I bought a ring, conspired with her best friend, and even had secret calls with her parents to get their blessing. I was so excited and sure it would be an epic surprise. The fuck-up began with all the secretive behavior this required. I’m usually an open book, but suddenly I’m hiding my phone, texting people behind her back, and making up lame excuses to duck out of the house (“Uh, need to run an errand… bye!”). I thought I was being slick to avoid spoiling the surprise. In reality, I was acting sketchy as hell. Her best friend (who was helping me plan)...

This happened a week ago. So I made a new friend, although I did know of him before. Let’s call him Jeff. I knew he existed because my ex has been friends with him since childhood, me and said ex no longer speak, but anyways that’s not important. Basically me and Jeff matched on Bumble and started talking. During this time I’ve been in an extremely bad place mentally because I’m going through changes to my medication, which fucks you up for a while. I’ve also been very depressed and trying to sort out some past trauma so, yah, it’s been a terrible time. When me and Jeff started talking we agreed that nothing serious was going to happen because neither of us were in a position to be in a relationship. However, Jeff wanted our situation to be sexual and I wasn’t sure what I wanted yet. We were sexual with eachother online for a few days but eventually I wanted to stop, so we agreed to just be friends. Then, the next day after that agreement is where my fuckup begins. My silly chemic...

I don’t know how to start this, or if anyone will even see this, but god i am such a fucking idiot and i hate it. I was talking to my girlfriend (over text, i hate opening up to people in person, i know it’s stupid but i did) and randomly dumped on her about how i feel about my life, i used phrases like im done or i dont want to do this anymore, i said i felt like shit, but i was not specific enough and she must’ve thought it was about me and her. it was not. she told me to kill myself and removed me on things i had her added on, and deleted my number etc. i have no way of contacting her now, i pray she comes around eventually and realises i didn’t mean her, but i am such a fucking idiot and i hate it. i hate how badly i must’ve made her feel, i will never live this down, she means the world to me and i destroyed everything, i wrote her a note/ letter, which was 7000 words long describing how i feel about her and how badly i know ive fucked up incase she does add me back on anything, ...

Yesterday I dropped off the wife's car at the dealer for tires and oil change, est. was just a bit over $1500ish. I scheduled the visit but they overbooked it so they gave me a loaner and told me if they find anything, they'll let me know. This morning my wife forwards me an email from the dealership (her car, account, contact info), I glance at it while at work, saw recommendations for spark plugs but i didn't read it all the way. Looked at the total and it was again, just north of $1500. Tried to call them to find put how much but no answer. I figured, it was an electric copy of yesterday's quote becauseof the price, plus what they found. I clicked approve because I'm already on day two and I do t want to hold it up amy longer. Go to pick it up, the lady at the counter says my total is $3k. Tiny meltdown. Service rep explains I approved it, while I'm looking at the email again, he's right. My tiny meltdow is turning into panick attack or seeing red, kinda...

TIFU when I spent $80 on hair and body care products just to leave them under a table at my partner’s university and have them go missing. We were in a rush and I forgot to check I had everything until we were on the bus. He called security and they checked the room and said it wasn’t there anymore. Usually my partner offers me to put stuff I’m carrying in his bag because it’s bigger (and I’m generally pretty bad with leaving stuff around) but my silly little brain didn’t think to ask to do that and now I’ve lost all that stuff I bought. It would be so chill but I ran out of shower gel and conditioner and was really looking forward to restocking and having smooth hair. I think this is my sign from the universe to just buy my stuff online or not at all 🫠 TL;DR: forgot my shopping and it got stolen

I woke up at 1AM to a woman screaming. My first instinct was that is was from a domestic disturbance and I got out of bed to try and identify where it was coming from. Around 5 minutes in, screams of "Yes!..Yes!" informed me that my first instinct was wrong and someone was having a good time. A really good time. I mean, this was like nothing I had ever heard before. It sounded like a porn video. Based on the crowd that lives in my building, I'm pretty sure no one would be playing porn that loud at 1AM and that this is the real deal. My building is pretty soundproof as well. In my groggy stupor I felt like something extraordinary was happening that I wanted to capture, so I decided to record the audio on my phone. In the morning I told my fiancee about the fact that I woke up at night (we live together) and she was mortified that I took a recording. I realized that it was a perverted thing to do but in the moment had no clue. I was never going to do anything with the re...

So I work as a barracks warden for a Canadian army base (not gonna say which one) and I got reemed out in front of some random dude. Who was staring at me LAUGHING the whole time it happened. To preface, I have two jobs. Barracks warden as well as the primary reserves. I had been in the reserves for about six years and I did pretty well just going contract to contract. Usually about four months at a time. But after awhile I figured I should probably find a full-time job because there was always a chance that I couldn't renew my contract. The reserves have been not only a job, but also a passion of mine. It gave me purpose, I always felt like what I did mattered. But the barracks warden gig has just violently SUCKED every ounce of purpose. I was getting depressed. To the point where I was sherking my duties. I understand that just because I don't like the job, it doesn't give me the right to do it poorly but DAMN! Nothing I did mattered. If I told one of the troops to fi...

Today, I feel like peeling the skin off my face. Literally. That’s how much I fucked up. So, I recently went on a trip to Japan. It was a huge deal for me because it wasn’t easy to go. While I was there, I had this rare moment of wanting to indulge in extreme luxury—something I never do. And I decided, you know what? Showers are an important part of the day. I deserve this. So, I bought a $300 showerhead. The technology was super advanced, it felt like peak luxury, and for once, I wanted to really treat myself. Fast forward to today. I was swapping out the old showerhead, but the new one wouldn’t fit because a piece inside was broken. No big deal, I figured I’d buy a replacement part. But I kept putting it off. First, I told myself I’d go another day. Then that day came, and I couldn’t go. Eventually, after a few days, I finally went out to buy it. Here’s where it all went to hell. I had some random stuff I wanted to throw out, some torn pants, other junk—so I tossed them aside. A...

So, I’ve recently been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, which means my intestines have decided to permanently operate in hard mode. Flare-ups are unpredictable, painful, and tend to strike at the absolute worst times. To make things even better, I’ve been back in the office twice a week for the past six months or so, which is a fantastic setting for digestive disasters. Now, let’s talk about my earbuds. I’ve had these Samsung earbuds for about two years now, but I never liked wearing them because they never felt comfortable. So they sat in a drawer unused. A few months ago, my parents recommended some super cheap no-name brand that miraculously fit perfectly. I used those instead—until one of our cats stole them. They're gone. Vanished into the feline void. So, I was back to my "good" Samsung earbuds, aka the ones that always felt uncomfortable and I had to adjust. Which, as I would later discover, was my fault. But we’ll get to that. Last week, I was at the office in...

So, I work at a very local store, normally closing with someone else, but twice a week I close by myself. Last year I had an incident when I forgot to lock the store after I closed, but thankfully nothing happened and it was my boss who found out in the morning and I got a talk but that was it. I apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again. I have since been checking everything I close by pulling the door to make sure it was locked. But yesterday I somehow forgot again, today someone came in thinking it was open and the alarm went off, police arrived and now my boss has to pay a fee. I just feel so bad and confused, I could've sworn I locked it yesterday, like I can't be that fucking dumb to repeat the same mistake again. But apparently I am. I don't know what to say or do. My boss send a text to all workers saying that because someone didn't lock the door last night none of us would be allowed to close by ourselves until they came back (my boss is on vacation...

I'm 28 male, until today I've had quite a few sexual encounters, but I never paid for it until yesterday. Now I think people that sell their body are really in need of money or whatever reason they might have. But it felt a lot like taking advantage of someones vulnerability, maybe I think too much of it I don't know man. Anyways, I was usually happy just pushing horny thoughts to the back of my head when I have no girlfriend or a partner for intimacy, but yesterday I made the choice to seek out a sex worker because I was tired of wanking it. So I got in contact with this woman, she said she doesn't go to homes and I need to go to her flat to do the deed. I left home excited for it honestly at this point it's not my brain that's controlling my body obviously. I arrived to the house, she opened the door and invited me in except her voice has nothing to do with the one I talked on the phone! As we walked towards the room I saw a dude sitting on the couch with...

I'm a vlogger and today i was filming myself getting some ingredients at Walmart for a cooking video. Well i picked a shitty time to go because there were pranksters fucking with the Walmart employees. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on but i heard a bunch of screaming from across the store. I thought it funny at first so i started vlogging myself reacting and got a few of the employees running around trying to find them. But then i realized it was probably very dumb because they'll think im apart of it. Keep in mind i have a DSLR camera so i stood out like a sore thumb. Well not even 2 minutes later an employee approached me and asked what i was filming. I told them i'm just here shopping and i wasn't the one screaming but he said he saw me film on the security cameras. I tried showing him my YT page but he didn't care and said the cops are on their way. He wouldn't even let my buy my items. I started leaving because i didn't want the cops to q...

I'll preface this by specifying that I am Canadian, so this TIFU isn't about anything willfully illegal. 3 months ago I have decided that while I like weed, I could do it without burning so much paper down by lungs. I tried vapes but they weren't my thing, good vaporizers are bulky, and as I don't smoke indoor they are not a good fit for me. Same thing with bongs. So I went to my local headshop and asked them for an alternative to burning papers. I know about pipes, but I don't trust heated up aluminium and I didn't really want anything with potheads motifs on it. Eventually he got a box from under the counter and suggested a nice alternative to pipes: A glass tube, about the size of a large pen, and with a space with a glass separator with a hole on one end to fill with herbs. He assured me that the hole wouldn't let grossly cut herbs pass, and suggested to push a bit a steel wool down as a filter the tube if it became a problem. That thing had a classy ...

so i ran out of toilet paper, but nature called, and i had no choice but to improvise. i found a roll of paper towels and thought, “eh, close enough.” did my business, wiped up, and instead of throwing them in the trash like a normal person, i thought, “toilets are strong, it’ll handle this.” flushed it all down, no hesitation. toilet seemed fine, so i went about my day like nothing happened. fast forward a few hours, i come home, open the door, and immediately get hit with a smell so violent i thought something died. i step inside, and that’s when i hear it—this faint dripping sound coming from the basement. i go down the stairs, and boom. there it is. a full-blown biohazard scene. my toilet had apparently choked on all that paper towel and decided to take revenge by overflowing for hours. my entire basement floor? covered in a swampy mixture of piss, shit, and shredded paper towel bits. my socks? instantly soaked in what i can only describe as satan’s soup. and the worst part? the...

This happened the other day during class. We were working on a group project, and I had taken a photo of the whiteboard earlier that we needed to refer back to. I walked up to my professor to show him the picture on my phone. I opened my gallery without thinking — rookie mistake. Right there, in plain sight, were the last four pictures I had taken the night before. And they were NOT for public viewing. Think mirror selfies, cute lighting, full-on thirst trap energy. Nothing super explicit, but enough to make my soul leave my body the moment I realized what he saw. He paused. Looked at the phone. Looked at me. And then just calmly said, “Maybe next time, double-check before sharing.” I mumbled “yeah” and walked away in pure internal panic. I’ve never wanted to disappear into the floor more than in that moment. I was silent for the rest of the project work. I don’t even know if I can make eye contact with him again. RIP me. TL;DR: I showed my professor a photo for a project and acci...

Meal prepping for the week. I’m on a diet and struggling to stay full, get my macro numbers, and not go over calorie budget. I fell in love with “salsa eggs” for breakfast. (Think egg salad but in stead mix the egg with salsa and top with a dollop of sour cream.). I set the eggs in the pot and was going to go back to cook them when my meds kicked in. Evidently I had a complete brain fart and turned on the stove… but forgot to add the water. An indeterminate amount of time later I smell cooking, walk by the stove and remember I have eggs on… and realize they have no water. Now I need to make 9 more eggs, but I am no millionaire! 😬 Can’t post a pic but, horrible, just think horrible. TL:DR: went to hard boil eggs, forgot the water. Abomination pictured above. 🤢

17M, I have dreadlocks, had them for one year now. Around 3 months ago I cut 6 of them off in the top of my head so I can have it split middle and it wouldn’t keep hitting my face. It was the first time I cut my own hair and in my mind since my hair grows extremely quick i though it wouldn’t be an issue. While my mom got me extensions it was the wrong color and dirty, they all fell out quickly and while I was there my mom said “tell them what you did” and I explained the above. Everyone laughed and an old lady sitting in front of me snickered after making eye contact with me and the guy was trying to hide his laugh while using me as an example for how he does extensions, Ive been too ashamed to go back. As expected hair grew quickly enough for me to get a retwist. Now for my ID, It’s last been updated when I was 15 so when I tried calling an UBER to the spot it suddenly forced me to show it. I NEVER HAD TO USE AN ID BEFORE, normally I would go from my house to my school since I’m a ...

Without getting too into it, I've had a history of mental health problems since childhood. I tried a number of different medications as a teenager, but ended up disliking the side effects and stopping use altogether by the time I was 18. Now, at 23, I've been in therapy for a few years and decided with the help of my therapist to try it again. This is where the problems start. A few months back I see a sort of shady zoom psychiatrist. She diagnoses me with ADHD within a 20 minute conversation, with no diagnostic test, and prescribes me Adderall. I've previously suspected I've had ADHD, so I went with it. I tried taking it for a while, but have a lot of anxiety/ocd issues that it exacerbated, so I stopped. I didn't throw it away or anything, just threw it in my cupboard and forgot about it. The capsules were green and white. A few weeks later, I decide to give meds another go, but with a different psychiatrist. This one seems a lot more like an actual doctor. Deci...

My new phone has a feature enabled by default that collects any series of photos or video taken at a specific time or location and creates a slideshow from them.. So a few weeks ago, I was trying to impress my date by taking her up to see the amazing views from one of the condo showrooms where I work, a fancy downtown apartment building, where we ended up having sex.. I, consensually ofc, video recorded us in the act and took a few x-rated photos of us in various sex positions. She's a cam girl, so she didn't object. Until then, the only slideshows I'd get were pictures of my cat, scenery, or food I ate at restaurants. Flash forward to a couple of weeks after the encounter. I'm at work, waiting for the elevator. Two of them were down for maintenance, so the wait times were increasingly long, and soon enough, a crowd started forming. I took my phone out to pass the time, when suddenly I got a "new story" notification. I tapped it open it, and to my horror the...

So this happened today, and my face still hurts. I was at the gym, feeling good, ready to get in a solid workout. I decided to switch things up and use those elastic battle ropes—you know, like the normal heavy ropes, but stretchy. I figured they’d give me a killer resistance workout while making me look like a beast. Spoiler: I did not look like a beast. I started off with some standard waves, but then my dumbass thought, Hey, what happens if I pull harder? So I did. I yanked the rope back with full force, stretching it to what I can only assume was its absolute limit. And then, physics happened. The rope snapped back at the speed of light and whipped me directly in the face. I swear, I saw my ancestors for a second. The impact landed less than a centimeter from my eye—right on my cheekbone. If it had been just a little higher, I might be writing this with one eye. I stumbled back, clutching my face, half expecting to see blood. Thankfully, it was just an angry red mark and some ...

In the 1990s, I lived in a 2-story apartment building which was built in the 1950s. The apartment was located in a small city, not too far from city center, but tucked away at the top of a hill, in a quiet neighborhood full of shady trees. I loved to hear the wind through the trees. The apartment building was constructed much like some motels are: an open L-shape, with an outdoor walkway running in front of the units. It wasn't secure -- you could just walk up a flight of stairs in the bend of the "L" to get upstairs. The second floor, where I lived, was 4 or 5 units, mostly occupied by quiet people whom I rarely saw. Mine was a 2-bedroom unit next to the stairs on the long side. The front door and living room windows of each unit were adjacent to the walkway. I got married in the summer, the month after my birthday. The time in between was busy, as I planned the wedding and worked. Occasionally, UPS delivered wedding-related packages. For some reason, my parents gav...

So this happened today, and I might need to update my resume. At work, me and a few coworkers were joking about bad haircuts. One guy says his barber must hate him, and I joke, “Yeah, some people’s barbers just straight-up sabotage them.” Right then, my boss (super chill but kinda quiet guy) walks up and laughs. Then he goes, “Yeah, my wife just gave me this cut last night.” I look at his hair. It’s BAD. Uneven, weird patches, like someone started with clippers and gave up halfway. I panic. Instead of shutting up, I go, “Oh… well… at least she tried!” Silence. Boss just kinda nods and walks away. Coworker leans in and whispers, “Dude. Stop talking.” I sat there staring at my computer for the next 10 minutes, just replaying the moment over and over in my head. Boss hasn’t talked to me since. Might start packing up my desk just in case. TL;DR: Joked about bad haircuts at work, boss overheard and said his wife cut his hair. I panicked and said, "Well… at least she tried!...

I meant to call her on WhatsApp, but my stupid ass fingers somehow tapped the stickers tab instead. Out of all the possible stickers I could’ve sent, I managed to send one of an anime girl sucking a massive dick. My soul left my body. I deleted it instantly, praying she didn’t see it. But she came online way faster than expected. Did she see it? Was she just about to type something? Panic set in. Five minutes later, I called her to ask what was for dinner. She sounded totally normal—no hesitation, no awkwardness. Maybe I was safe. Or maybe she saw it and decided to pretend it never happened. Either way, I am never opening WhatsApp stickers near my mom again. I'm making this post as a warning for all my fellow degenerates with fellow degenerate friends that send each other stupid stuff TL;DR: I accidentally send a gif of an anime girl sucking a massive dick to my mom.

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...

...a mouse. A dead mouse. I have never even imagined this is something that can actually happen and I still can't fathom how it came to be, exactly. So 3 weeks ago I went to a carnival. I wore cargo pants (I went as a postman, original I know). The night ended at my buddy's where we crashed for the night. The day after, my gf did the laundry (including the cargo pants I had worn the day before, which were in my backpack) and told me my backpack smelled kinda funny. So that went into the laundry as well. Fast forward to a week later, we went to the hardware store. When we were about to leave, I had a rotting stench in my nose. Just for like a second. I tried to locate the smell but couldn't find anything so I didn't think much of it. I meant to buy only screws, but of course we ended up with a plethora of stuff so I lost track of my original mission. On our way back, I realized the screws were missing so I checked all my pockets, not being sure whether or not I ha...

My Brother in laws birthday was over the weekend, he and my sister went abroad and before going I messaged my sister “have a wonderful time away for (BIL) birthday!”. When it came to his birthday, I admit I was being petty, I never wished him a happy birthday mostly because he never wished me a happy birthday. Not only that, I overheard him call my partner and father of my child a “dickhead” and “useless fucking idiot”. So I can’t help but be petty. I’ll stand by my partner before I stand by BIL. I fucked up by not telling him happy birthday, and now my sister is upset with me. She is unaware that I overheard her husband say those things about my partner, and I haven’t brought up that he never wished me a happy birthday. It’s tit for tat, I know I’m an asshole and I know I fucked up 😬 TL;DR: didn’t wish BIL happy birthday through pettiness, have upset my sister

Today i (19f) had the bright idea to invite someone over to my dorm to bring me food. Keep in mind i go to a strict Christian university and they don't allow any men in the womens buildings. At the time i didn't care because i was hungry so i asked a guy friend to bring me something. He's also been flirting with me a lot recently and it's been a while since i fucked soo i let him come over. He came in and he hung out for a bit. We both didn't have any classes today so we just chilled and listened to some music. Not long after he started eating me out and i may have been moaning louder than i should have lol. Well within like 20 mins of him being here i got a knock on my door from one of the admins. She said she could hear my music from all the way across the floor then looked inside and saw a guy inside my room. I lowkey freaked out because I've gotten noise complaints before and this same girl is the one that confronted me about them. I apologized to her and...

I was doing an emergency favour for a friend earlier and she told me to help myself to anything in her fridge for my dinner. What she failed to mention was that the gloriously golden brown, succulent roast chicken that was in there had been accidentally left out of the fridge for a full 24 hours after cooking and she had thrown the thing in the fridge to avoid flies getting to it as she was rushing out the door. Her intent was to warn me and then throw it out later, but in her rush she forgot to mention it. Guess what this idiot decided looked like a good sandwich filling. So now I am waiting to see whether I fall ill. Unfortunately I am mildly emetophobic and every tiny gurgle, gloop and twinge of my stomach is making my heart race and my breathing hitch. Even worse, I’m tired but too wound up to sleep, and I’m hungry but too scared to eat. I’m just glad my kid decided to go for cheese in her sandwich. Tl:dr - Did a favour for a friend, now terrified of my own digestive system. ...

As I drove into a shared outdoor parking area, my car leaked diesel, leaving a mess everywhere. I initially tried to soak it up with baking soda—since that was all I had—but then, in a moment of poor judgment, I rinsed it with water. That only made things worse, spreading the diesel across multiple parking spots. I've been pouring water on it and scrubbing, but I’m worried it’s going to leave a permanent stain. I have no idea what else to do, and from what I’ve read, diesel doesn’t evaporate and tends to stain concrete. The parking area is managed by the company that oversees my flats (UK), so I plan to report it to them and face whatever consequences come my way. I have home insurance, and I’m hoping it might cover the damage—otherwise, I have no way to pay for it. For some background: a few weeks ago, my car's fuel injector failed. After waiting nine hours for breakdown assistance, it was eventually towed home the next day. I hired a mobile mechanic to fix it, which went ...

So, this was actually the 9th of April last year. I remember because it was the day everything in my life went downhill. At the time, it seemed like a normal day. It was the day of my first actual kiss. I was 14, my (now ex) gf was 13, we're both a year older now. So, we had a lot of hormones, because we'd been kissing for pretty much the entire day, and, in a moment of weakness, I made er touch my thing. I'm not proud of it. But I brushed it off, even forgot about it because I didn't see it as a problem because I thought she'd also brushed it off. Then, just over a month later, she said she might be lesbian, and didn't want to hurt me. So, we broke up. End of story, right? I get seriously hung up over her for the last 10 months and that's it? Nope. A month after we broke up, we both went on a school residential. We were on a boat for a week with 8 other kids and 2 teachers. I spent the first half of it with her, because I wasn't close with anyone els...

I am currently in Greece, and I booked a hotel in Athens between 17 and 19 March. It has a private restroom, one queen bed, one single bed, Wi-Fi, and air conditioning/a heating system. It only costed me $74 for two nights, and I am in the very centre of Monastiraki, which meant noise would certainly be an issue as some restaurants decide to blast loud music. My hotel includes three keys and a card used to gain electricity. Whenever I exit the hotel, I always bring my keys with me so I wouldn't get locked out, and I probably entered and exited the hotel room 4 times (twice on Monday, to leave my luggage and to check on the concert noise at 23:30 and twice on Tuesday, to visit the Acropolis/Agora and to visit the Archeological Museum after a brief nap). However, today, I checked out of the Athenian hotels. I woke up at 7:20, and checked through the whole room before checking out. Even though I got everything out of the hotel room, I forgot to take out my hotel keys from the elect...

I understand that this kind of story is kinda dulled for this Page but a i wanna start anyway, and algo English isn't my star line up so bear with me. I (M25) have been working in a pizza buffet for almost 8 years, is was my first job and has been dulled down to the point I only go on weekends for half of the day, it's easy money and the hours are adjusted for my real job and school, in this time I've gotten to know the owners and their families, which includes their niece lets call her Sonya (F18) but a the time I met her she was 15 or 16, and at some point she started working with me at the buffet, so we worked together for over a year, and in that time I became a aware that she liked me, and maybe out off cowardice I never told her straight that I didn't want to be with her, her age being the deal breaker for me, as time passed she left the restaurant and went out had a few boyfriends and i remained alone. cut to September of last year where she started texting me a...

I was getting ready for school and was running late, it happens. it was pouring rain and I tried running but I missed it. I forgot to replace my umbrella since the possibly of rain never crossed my mind. I was soaked, I didn’t want to ask my grandma to drive me because someone needed to wait on the plumber. So i called an Uber, i can’t drive but I’m studying for my learners permit and I can’t ride a bike to save my life without training wheels. I wanted to save some money because I want to buy an extension to keep my gaming laptop from overheating, I got the cheapest option which was an Uber XL for $13.07, I’m not obese (anymore), but it was my best option. without realizing what I did, I ordered an uber 20 minutes away and the old guy was “hard of hearing” and only communicated by text. I stand outside 5 minutes before my Ubers arrive so I had time. I see the MF show up at the wrong address but before I can respond he text me “I arrived”, then immediately cancelled the ride. For ex...

I have a dental appointment tomorrow. My 3 year old son has a dental appointment the day after. His appointment is at a different place from mine, and they have different admin systems. Today, I got a text message telling me to complete a form about my medical history before my upcoming dental appointment. I clicked the link, filled in the form with my details and then clicked submit. I then got to a page saying something like ‘thank you for filling in the medical history for (son’s name).’ This was when I realised my mistake. So… I told my kid’s dentist that he is currently pregnant, that he had his appendix removed as a teenager and that he has recently been prescribed medication for a yeast infection. TLDR: filled in my 3 year old kid’s medical history form with my own information, including saying he is currently pregnant.