greenmangostudio

My boss slacked me a screenshot this afternoon with just a question mark under it, and I knew right away exactly what I'd done. For context, I use one of those AI notetakers that sit in on your calls and email out a summary the moment you hang up, and a while back I turned on a setting to have it send that summary automatically to everyone on the invite, then forgot the setting even existed like an idiot. So this morning we get on a call with a client who's been, to put it kindly, high-maintenance. In the couple of minutes before they joined, my 2 coworkers and I were venting the way you do when you think it's just you… One of us saying the account was going to churn anyway and another saying we'd padded the timeline because this client never approves anything on the first try, then they joined and we were perfectly pleasant to their face, had a totally normal call, and all hung up thinking everything was fine. And the notetaker did what it was built to do, it...

My younger brother had started borrowing my car whenever he saw the spare key sitting in the kitchen drawer, usually without asking first. After arguing about it a few times, I hid the key inside an old pair of running shoes in my closet. I picked the shoes because I never wore them and knew he wouldn’t look there. While clearing out some stuff, I donated a bag of clothes and shoes to a charity shop. I felt pretty good about finally getting rid of things I hadn’t used in years. Later, I couldn’t find my normal car key. After checking every pocket, drawer and random surface in my apartment, I remembered the spare. Then I remembered the shoes. I called the charity shop and explained that there might be a car key shoved inside one of the donated shoes. Somehow they found the bag before everything was sorted, and the key was still pushed into the toe. I got it back, but the woman asked why I was storing car keys inside footwear. TL;DR I hid my spare car key from my brother in...

To preface this, I’m in my twenties (F) and I have my friends over at my place to get ready, do our makeup and have drinks all the time before and after social functions/ going out. Over the years it’s common for people to leave jackets, bags, makeup or alcohol behind and usually unless it’s something important or the person is my close friend I’ll just toss it or hold onto it. Me and my best friends have a lot of our clothing and accessories or makeup rotating and it’s never a big deal. (Before anyone comments it’s unhygienic, we don’t really care I know, feel free to call me gross but I’ve shared makeup aside from eye products for years, don’t come at me.) Anyways somebody who isn’t a close friend of mine left some stuff at my place and first of all I wasn’t sure who’s stuff was who’s but it was on my countertop and I gave it a try. It’s been about two weeks and I was impressed by this stuff but my close friend who’s the mutual connection texted me and said “XYZ really needs her th...

A neighbor in my building group asked if anyone had a tiny screwdriver for his coffee grinder. I had one, went downstairs and helped him tighten a loose part. Took 30 seconds. He posted in the group thanking me for fixing it, so I joked that my repair shop was officially open and I accepted payment in coffee. A woman from the third floor messaged me almost immediately asking if I could look at her flickering lamp. I told her I was kidding and had no idea how lamps worked, but she said it was probably something simple. Then another guy asked about his toaster. Someone else sent me a photo of a desk fan making a weird noise. The original neighbor kept replying to people saying I was being modest because I saved him money on a new grinder. By the evening three different people were trying to arrange times to bring things over for me to fix. I turned them all down and explained that I literally just tightened one screw, but one of them still replied with “no worries, whenever you h...

So it wasn’t actually today, it was the other day. Again, I’m admitting I messed up. Please keep that in mind when commenting. I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now, probably since like fall of last year. He has been a bit emotionally unavailable, and I do know why, thought I don’t think it’s important to the story. Over the course of a few months we’ve gotten closer, he’s made it clear that he’s interested in me too, or at least that’s what I’m reading. The other day a personal female friend of mine who he does not know, and hasn’t met messaged me asking so this particular person on instagram was. I told her it was him (she knows a little bit about him) then asked why she asked. She said he sent her an instagram follow request. Now looking back I understand there could be many completely benign reasons for this, but I wasn’t thinking that at the time. A bit after I sent a message. It wasn’t bad, it was more playful like “Hey, my friend so and so said you added her on insta...

I've had the biggest crush on my friend's dad for what feels like forever, and yes, I already know how bad that sounds. He's been divorced for a few years, and every time I've been over at my friend's house, I've secretly thought he was ridiculously attractive. Not just because of how he looks, but because he's funny, easy to talk to, and has that calm, mature energy that's honestly way more attractive to me than guys my age. A few days ago I bumped into him while I was out shopping. We ended up sitting down for coffee, and I swear we talked for almost two hours without it ever feeling awkward. When I left, I couldn't stop smiling. That conversation was replaying in my head for days, and I convinced myself maybe there was something there. So... I did something incredibly stupid. I messaged him on Instagram. I told him he looked really good in one of his recent photos and asked if he'd like to go out to dinner sometime. He replied saying t...

I'm an Operations manager for a shipping warehouse for flashlights. We got a customer who emailed in, he was saying his flashlight wasn't working properly, though it seemed to the tech that he simply hadn't locked it out properly. The guy wasn't super nice in his email but he was upset, so the warranty guy changed the subject line before he sent it to me, along with a snarky message. I deleted the message... but not the subject line which, as you can see, isn't exactly flattering. I'm a fucking idiot, it turns out. Well, turns out the customer didn't appreciate it too much either. His original message had no subject line, but what he got back was "Baby doesn't know his flashlight has a lockout." The customer was not amused, but everyone in my office is now talking to me in baby speak and it's sending me. I mean, it's kind of funny and kind of not, and it's maybe not 100% my fault... but I definitely fucked up here. TL,DR: I se...

Dude what was i thinking???? So I (25M) went to the mall to pick up some sneakers at Dicks sporting goods and since I didn't have anything else to do that day I look around and browse before heading off to the food court or something. I look at the driveway basketball hoops, i don't need one as I already have one but I am looking for a ball to take to the park or the gym. I see this kid(maybe 11M) shooting around and just testing out the hoop with some of the balls they allow you to shoot with. For some reason it was just so tempting to run over and block one of his attempts, but obviously i would never do that right? Yeah I thought so too until next thing I know I'm sprinting towards him while he's gearing up to shoot and I jump in front of him and swat away his shot, shouting "BLOCKED BY JAMES" my name isn't even James who the hell was I feeling like?? The kid looked terrified, and just froze in place. I quickly apologized and told him I have no idea why...

So this happened many years ago. I was an exchange student living in the UK with a host family, consisting of a single mother with two daughters around ages 8-10. First week in the house I got my period. At home I usually keep a bin next to the toilet for disposing of sanitary pads and such, but in this home they clearly didn't, so when I went to the bathroom to change my pad I didn't know what to do. Didn't want to flush it and risk causing a clog. I was really shy and didn't feel comfortable asking the host mother, so I wrapped it thoroughly in tp and threw it in the bin under the desk in my room. Later that day we were having dinner and one of the daughters said, pointing at their dog fiddling with something in a corner. "Mum, she's got one of your uh... thingies." Turns out their dog found it extremely interesting, to the point where he had managed to pick it out of my bin, unwrapped it and lay there LICKING it. Ew. I didn't say a word, bu...

So my best friend sleeps with a CPAP machine and since I he told me that I always clown him about it. For those who do not know a cpap pumps air into your face with a tube whilst sleeping so you can breathe better and not snore. He's a mouth breather apparently and wears this absolutely crazy mask over his whole face with a tube going to his machine. Proper Bane vibes. So anyway we shared a hostel room on vacation two days ago and he was getting to bed. After wishing him "goodnight Darth Vader may the force be with you" I had the hilarious idea of letting rip on his machine so he'd be forced to smell it. I mischievously tip toed over to his bed and he was already suspiciously looking at me and I was already laughing but he just lay there like wtf do you want. As soon as I got close enough I whipped around and released one of those long hot swampy squeekers right on the top of the machine. His eyes instantly went wide in terror and he started scrambling to get ...

I've been put on Ozempic because I have PMOS and have developed insulin resistance. I've been taking it for 2 weeks now and I've fallen victim to the constipation side effect, my last bowel movement being 4 days ago. I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable so I gave in and bought laxatives, then took 3 before bed, hoping to clear the blockage when I wake up. I woke up an hour after my alarm was supposed to ring, meaning I had to leave my house ASAP to get to work on time. I didn't think about pooping at all until I was at work and counting the till for opening. I felt like I just had to fart, so I just let it rip. Big mistake. It was not just a fart. It was a mess. I was supposed to be manning the store alone today. I had to put up a sign saying we were closed due to electrical issues and cried into the phone to my roommate as I cleaned myself up and tried to wash off my pants. I waited an hour for her to come and rescue me with a new change of clothing. Then had to...

It had felt like I waited for hours for my prize, there were still so many people in front of me! What if they ran out? Could that happen? And man, I was excited to get mine! I had just done the factory tour. I knew how it was made! How many people can say that? The line was moving up. I was going to get my prize soon! Just a few more minutes. I had prepared myself for this. I had my protection in place. I knew the cost of my prize and I was ready to pay it. The line moved forward. It was almost my turn!! It moved forward again! I diligently studied the specifications. Did I want simple or complex? Should I add materials? What about the packaging? I made my decision after careful reflection. I went classic. You can’t mess up a classic. (Oh if only you knew.) I secured my prize. It looked absolutely glorious. But I wasn’t quite ready yet. I searched everywhere for the proper setting. A prize like this needed to be treated with respect. I was going to savor this. ...

I am at a resort water park and just bought a beer at their in house market. Female cashier asked me a question I'd never been asked before, "are you over 40 or under 40?"....which I don't think had any repercussions on the cost but, who knows? Still not sure why she asked it. I am over 40 but she guessed I was 37. She then asked I guess how old she was...which I know I shouldn't have answered, but she looked mature so I guessed 27 (possibly a number I landed on because she said i was 37, idk). She said she was 21...I was instantly mortified and don't think I ever moved as fast as I did when I left that market. At my advanced 40+ age I know I should know better. It's been about 3 hours since this interaction and I'm just hoping I didn't crush this young lady's self esteem. TLDR: made bad guess at young woman's age, hope I didn't crush her spirit

TIFU but also wouldn’t change anything. I was visiting my sister-in-law and brother for the weekend. Their 8-month-old is in the full-on spit-up stage. Kid explodes all over Jess’s shirt. I grab him so she can clean herself up. I’m in cloth pajama shorts, no underwear. I’ve always been one who goes commando and over time we have gotten really close but nothing ever sexual. After cleaning herself off and while she’s wiping milk off the baby’s feet, her hand brushes up and full-on grabs my dick “OMG sorry!” she blurts. We both kinda giggle because I’m still holding the baby like an idiot. Then I hand him back… and she does it again. Same grip, big smile: “Sorry!” We spent the rest of the day with the family and we kept catching each others eyes. My brother still has no idea. Always wear underwear when visiting family with babies…. Or don’t :) best day ever???? I don’t know how to feel about this but the man brain in me is smiling from cheek to cheek. TL;DR: Nephew puked on SIL...

This happened today and I'm still replaying it like a cringe highlight reel. I've been trying to be less awkward, so I've started rehearsing simple compliments in the car before I walk into places. Small thing, but it helps me not freeze up and blurt something weird. I pulled into a busy grocery store parking lot and noticed someone a few cars over with an amazing haircut: sharp, fresh, clearly intentional. I told myself to be a normal person, say it, and move on. I muttered under my breath, "Okay, just say, 'Your haircut looks really good, have a nice day.'" Then I got cocky and repeated it a little louder to test my tone. What I didn't realize was that my driver-side window was down and a different person was walking right past my car, pushing a cart close enough to hear me. They stopped, looked at me, and I smiled and delivered my rehearsed line like I was in an ad: "Your haircut looks really good." They just stared, then reached...

This happens last night. To set the stage, I (24M) have a very specific, apparently unhinged psychological brain defect. I am physically and emotionally incapable of being attracted to a woman unless she has bangs. I wish this were a joke. It’s not a "cute preference" it is literally hardwired. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. She’s amazing. She also happens to have a fringe haircut. Last night we were lounging on the couch watching TV, and she decides it’s time for her night skincare routine. Before going to the toilet she pulls out one of those ridiculous, giant plush bow headbands and scrapes ALL of her hair back so she can wash her face. Every single strand. Bangs included. Guys... my soul left my body. She turned back around to talk to me, and my brain instantly shortcircuited. The second her fringe went up and her forehead was exposed, all emotional connection evaporated. I looked at her and felt NOTHING. Zero. It was like sitting next to a completely random...

Everything is okay, just found it hilarious. I came back from Costco and went to what I thought was my car. My car unlocks the moment I open the door handle because I have my key within it's radius. I opened this car and noticed how much more classy it looked inside and immediately closed that door. Some of you might wonder why I did not lock that door. It was in the heat of the moment! I was too busy surprised at knowing this was not my car and any possible legal ramifications I could get if I did anything further than just close the door and walk away. I also did not know their life situation (whether or not that sounds like a stretch) they might do it this way because of any reason. Their car was pretty clean (from what I glanced at) nothing to steal. I made a short little recording both out of humor of the situation to send friends, and to protect myself! (although I don't think that will be necessary.) While making the recording a second time (because I was being a...

I had a meeting with a client today, it was at the customer premises and I had not met this customer in person before. This company is a huge account for my work and my senior management made a very big deal about it needing to be handled by a manager rather than one of the BDMs who would normally be in charge of it. (This was mistake number one, why on earth would they send someone who hasn’t seen a customer in person or actually made any sales for at least the last 5 years over someone who does this day in and out, and probably does it far better than anyone in the management team ever could?!) The meeting goes fine and while sat in his office wrapping the paperwork up, I spot a photo on his desk and the demon that’s apparently running my brain, prompts me to comment “aww, what a lovely picture, is that you and your father?” Mistake two He looks me dead in the eyes and in the most scathing voice says “that’s my wife”. I immediately lost the ability to act like a normal person...

This happened yesterday and I still feel like an idiot, I was at work when I got a text saying my bank had temporarily locked my account and I needed to verify my identity. It had the bank's name, looked completely legitimate and even caught me at the perfect time because I'd made a couple of larger purchases that morning. I was literally about to tap the link when I remembered I'd installed Cloaked a while back and decided to check it first. But no it didn't flag it as a suspicious message. Instead of clicking anything I closed it and called my bank using the number on the back of my card. Turns out the text was actually legitimate. Now I'm thinking, great I almost ignored my own bank because I trusted an app more than the message. The customer service rep laughed and said they'd had quite a few people calling to double check because scams have gotten so convincing lately. So I spent the next ten minutes apologizing to someone who probably answers thi...

So this is actually actively happening as I type this. Pretty much, as the title says, I set a bug bomb off in my room because I got frustrated. I brought back sand fleas to my house forever ago and now we are actually trying to tackle the problem. I’ve use one bug bomb and dichotomous earth. Both did eliminate fleas but definitely not all of them. As I’m sweeping the floor today I get one on my leg. I lost it. I miss sleeping in my room and having my own space. So without thinking I just grabbed a spare one and set it off. Now on one hand I live in a trailer and my room is at the far end of it so maybe me and my mom aren’t at that much risk of I guess poisoning. But then I started to look into effects of staying in the home and I’m scared. I would just leave and drive my maw around and find something to do. But she got home from working at like 7-8 and just started to sleep.. so I lowk can’t wake her up. But on the other hand if this is a problem I may kill/poison me and my mother by ...