greenmangostudio

So, this happened a few months ago, and I still cringe whenever I think about it. I've always been a fan of homemade pickles, and one day, I decided to try my hand at making my own batch. I carefully followed a recipe I found online and gathered all the necessary ingredients, including fresh cucumbers. Little did I know that this innocent cucumber would be the cause of a hilarious and embarrassing incident. As I was slicing the cucumbers, my phone buzzed with an urgent message. Caught up in the excitement of the conversation, I accidentally dropped my phone into the bowl of sliced cucumbers. Panicking, I fished my phone out as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. The cucumber slices were now covered in a sticky mess of screen protector remnants and phone debris. I was horrified. Determined not to waste the cucumbers or my precious phone, I made a split-second decision. I quickly rinsed off the cucumber slices, hoping that the water would wash away any remnants of phone...

TIFU and I need to share with you all. While taking my dog for a long walk in the heat, I decided to wear light shorts. As I was sweating profusely, my phone, which was in my pocket, got unlocked due to the friction with my leg. I didn't realize this until 20 minutes later, as I was enjoying my walk. When I got home and looked at my phone, I noticed that my Gmail account was open, and there was a random string of letters written on the screen. I quickly checked all of my open apps to make sure that I hadn't accidentally sent a compromising photo or message to anyone, but fortunately, I hadn't. Some apps were open, but I didn't see what harm it could do, so I closed them without checking HAHAHA. I SHOULD'VE. 20 minutes later, just when I thought I was in the clear, a notification popped up from Deliveroo (similar to Uber Eats). It said that my order was ready, and it was an expensive one – 80€ worth of tacos. As an unemployed person with no money, I couldn't ...

My wife and I occasionally partake in THC edibles, but we’re responsible about it. At least I thought we were. We had a stash of 195-mg cookies and we decided to make sure they looked entirely unappealing to our kids. We wrapped them in several layers of foil and in a plastic bag and tucked them in that unspeakable, shameful part of the freezer that is home to things like freezer burned meat and frozen dog treats. We thought there was no way our children would find them, much less ingest them. We underestimated our daughter’s sweet tooth. Our daughter was 13 and naive even for a 13-year-old. She thought that marijuana is a dangerous addictive drug that is injected. She would have had absolutely no clue that her parents would be occasional consumers and would have had no idea that drugs can look and smell and taste like cookies. So… one Wednesday morning, I got an unexpected call at about 9:00 am. It was from the school nurse saying my daughter was having an anxiety attack or someth...

TIFU by peeing a guy's bed. To say I am mortified is an understatement. I met up with a guy I went to HS with last night who moved to my city. I haven't seen him in probably 10 years and went to a happy hour before meeting up with him. We are both somewhat newly single and were flirting all night. Ending up getting wayyyyyy too drunk, going back to his apartment, hooking up and passing out naked. I then peed the bed. I want to cry and could not be more mortified. This has happened to me before from drinking but not in years. Thankfully the guy was really nice about it and said this has happened to him before. I offered to give him money for new sheets or dry cleaning but he insisted it was fine and said, "just buy me a drink how about that." I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. ​ TL;DR: got too drunk and peed in bed of a guy i haven't seen in 10 years

This actually happened today. I'm on vacation in a much warmer environment than what i am used to, and I was running out of Shampoo. "I will just buy a big one, i'm gone for 4 more weeks anyway" i thought To myself. So I went to the local supermarket and and browsed the Shampoo section. I'm the kinda guy that just use the closest available Shampoo for the entire body, so I was in uncharted waters. I spotted a head and shoulders and recognized the brand. I could choose from 3 different Shampoos. In my confusion i came to the conclusion that the cool menthol one would feel nice and cool in the heat, and it was cool... a little too cool. Fast forward to the shower, i Open the bottle and immidiatly smell the strong scent of mint, "this smells great!" i thought to myself, as I had never experienced mintyness in my Shampoo before. I Washed my hair, my arms, my upper body and my legs, and my skin began to feel weird, like i had recieved way more refreshingn...

So yeah I went to a bath and bodyworks store to get some new fragrances of soap with my wife since we started buying them more after trying one called champagne toast and after checking some scented candles I found a scent I would really like for me and it was mahogany teakwood intense so I went with a near by clerk and said - oh hi I was wondering if there was any body soap with the smell of intense misogyny - we both froze and she just replied - e-e-excuse me!?!? - I immediately went - no wait I meant that one- pointing at the candle behind me to which she showed me the soap I asked and as I thank her we just both awkwardly went our separate ways TL;DR: I asked a female store clerk at bath and body for a body soap with the smell of intense misogyny instead of intense mahogany

Hi Reddit my previous post was removed and I wanted to better explain myself before continuing my story. For those who were concerned for my son's well being, he is totally 100% fine. I miss represented the situation, initially he was knocked unconscious accidentally, but he was not unconscious for even an hour. My son told me while we were on the way to the doctors that he woke up at around 8. I put him to sleep at 7:45 ish after may wife came home. He said he felt fine he had a headache and was sleepy and so he fell back to sleep. As for his bloodshot eye, the doctor said that that was just a popped blood vessel and not a concern excluding the eye patch to keep him from irritating it. The doctor said there was no sign of trauma or permanent damage. It is true I lied to my wife and now I am certainly paying the price. My wife started grilling me about the details of the incident, she was livid. I told her everything about the fake story, but I just felt worse and worse as I cont...

Today me and a friend went to an event. It was really crowded there so we were just running around just going to various seminars and stuff. Suddenly a girl stops me and goes "Hey man how are you ! Long time no see!" with a lot of excitement in her voice, as if she was genuinely happy to run into me there. But to my horror, I had no idea who she was - clearly it was someone I know, and I remember her face from somewhere, but I had no idea from where. "Hey, youuu! Long time no see haha" I went, trying to sound as confident as possible. She started talking to me about the event and I was also making small talk but my mind was racing - where do I know her from? If I remember her name, I'll remeber who she is. what is her name? What is the least obvious way to find her name? Then suddenly it hit me - my friend wasn't engaging with her. I knew my friend from high school. So chances are, I know this woman either from my work or college. So why don't I in...

Ok so this one didn't happen today. It happened a long time ago. But, it popped into my head just now while I was reading another bedroom TIFU and I figured I'd get it off my chest at long last. Growing up I had a pretty big crush on this girl. Let's call her Maria. She liked me back at first but like a silly boy after we made out at a party I made an absolute ass of myself. Like, telling people I wasnt really into her. Why? I don't know. Kids are fucking stupid. She stopped liking me (understandable) and started liking other, less idiotic boys. Well, as luck would have it, she and my sister became good friends, and so Maria was constantly in my life after this. I became infatuated with her. I would write her notes, send her emails, even write poems. These were truly horrendous poems, y'all. If one was to be uncovered today I think I would have to move my family to Antarctica. Suffice to say I was smitten with this girl. All the while she was ALWAYS dating some n...

I've been in a dark place for years, But have managed to pull myself out of a dark place recently, I've been hitting the gym, Have been a lot more confident. I managed to pick up a girl at bar, one thing led to another. and I ended up in bed with her. I forgot the effects antidepressants have on your "member" I could barely get it up, couldn't even put it in. Couldn't "Finish" I made a fool of myself and she ended up blocking me on everything the next day. And now I'm really starting to really evaluate my life. And will probably be celibate for another few years.. Humiliated myself. And horrified a poor girl. And probably set myself back in confidence for a few years. I need to remember this night for ever so I don't make this fuck-up again! TL;DR Well TIFU by forgetting that I am taking antidepressants and the effect it has sexually. and have utterly embarrassed myself. Using a throwaway for obvious reasons.

Happened yesterday actually. I work for a private K-12 school entirely for kids with autism, and yesterday went on a field trip to a trampoline park with my class(I'm a para-pro/caregiver helping the teacher). Was having a blast jumping and playing with the kiddos and we decided to do this zipline they have that you drop onto a trampoline foam pit from. My coworkers had done it just fine, and it's rated for people up to 260lbs it says, now I'm 210 so I figured it'd be fine and went for it. I dropped onto my butt from about 5 feet up, in a cross legged sitting position basically, only the trampoline apparently was only like 2 feet above the concrete under it, I immediately felt the same sharp pain I'd felt in my youth as a skateboarder(I'm 36 now), but so, so, so much worse. I felt all life and joy leave my body and an immediate sense of dread accompanied by intense shooting pain through my entire lower half of my body and my back. I got up and began pacing ar...

This happened about 2 weeks ago. To start off, I'm at fault for not being more diligent. I love watches and have a few "entry level" watches. Now I've been eyeing a watch on a few sites called, Mr. Jones Colour Venn but it's been sold out. I have a background in graphic design and love the look of the watch. I decided to try my luck on the WTB thread in r/watchexchange . Sure enough, I received a message and we were to come to an agreement. Even got sent photos that didn't turn up on reverse image search. So in my excitement, I went ahead and paid the person over PayPal and didn't take additional steps to ensure it was a legit transaction. Well, once the money went through, I got blocked and was never sent the watch. Lessoned learned. TLDR - Tried to buy a watch on Reddit and got scammed.

I'm a dude in my late 30s, and my entire life I've thought that moisturizing was a bullshit marketing term to sell women's beauty products. I never thought it meant anything substantial. The term "dry skin" never meant anything to me. However, the last few months my legs have been really itchy. Like, everywhere, especially on my shins. I do laundry and wash my sheets on a regular basis, so I was pretty sure it wasn't bugs. It was itchy enough that I was scratching pretty deep, and the scratches weren't healing. In fact, I got two staph infections in the skin (like giant, painful zits) in the last two months that were large and painful enough that I had to go see a doctor and get them taken care of, which was both physically and financially painful. The second time I went to see the doctor was today, and he finally explained the FU to me. As you get older, your body stops being so great at moving water everywhere around your body, so your skin tends to d...

Okay, so this happened a while ago — like a few weeks back — but I thought Reddit would enjoy this story, so here goes: It was around 4 pm. I just got back from school. It was a long day and, on top of that, I had to clean the house that day. With a sigh, I went on to clean for half an hour. The place was practically spotless by the time I was done. Patting myself on the back for a job well done, I headed to my room, going to put my shoes away and draw on my iPad. Then BOOM! Before I knew it, I slipped like a damn Looney-Toons character, sound effects and all. When I landed on my back, I caught a glance at my left knee. I nearly passed out right then and there. I had dislocated my fucking knee. But that isn't the worst part. Turns out, My cat had decided to piss on the floor while I was tidying up. After getting over the revulsion of falling onto a puddle of forbidden lemonade, I grabbed my phone (Thank god I had it in my pocket! ) and called my mom. After five HOURS in the ...

Hi Reddit, I’m a teenager who might of fucked up really bad, me and my friends walk through an ally everyday before and after school. When we walk through we always mess around and one time though some small rocks over a fence into a pool. One morning I decided to take it up a notch, I threw a drawer from a dresser over the fence into the pool. I know very stupid, but larger that day we walked through again and I decided to through another drawer. Little did I know 30 seconds later a guy came bursting out through the fence yelling at us saying I’m going to go to the school and the police, and that they have cameras in the ally of us (me) doing it. I’m not sure if he knows it was me or not but I really don’t want to get into trouble. If anyone knows what I could get into trouble for please let me know, or what I should do. Before you guys say anything in the comments, I know it was dumb looking back on it. Any advice would be appreciated. TL;DR Today I though a drawer into a pool and ...

This happened a few days ago My niece came over to my house to play, and after a while she got bored, so I let her play on my old GBA SP. I also have an old Japanese copy of Pokémon Crystal, so I just let her run around and battle random wild Pokémon. Thing is, I thought it would be funny to name all my Pokémon after swear words (some really offensive ones too) and I forgot I named them after those as I haven't played it in a while So I let her play it, and after a while she manages to pull up the screen that shows your team, and sure enough, all 6 of my Pokémon (a shiny Feraligatr, Shiny Gyarados, Blastoise from Red, Crobat, Ho-Oh and Tyranitar) were named after swear words Sure enough, she tries pronouncing therm because she thinks "they sound funny" When her mom (AKA my cousin) went to pick her up, she told her about the cool new game she played, and told her the names of the "characters" in the game, AKA the swear words Needless to say my cousin was p...

So like a year ago, I went to the toilet one night to discover I was pissing blood. Dismayed (to say the fucking LEAST), I went to the urologist and he's like yeah you need a cystoscopy. We did the thing.ffHe found a tumor in my bladder about the size of a matchstick head. We cut it out. Tested. Wasn't cancerous. Something called a PUNLMP. I live to fight another day. What a relief, right? Well, I still have to get the goddamn procedure every three months to check to make sure the tumor thing doesn't grow back. It's called a cystoscopy. Anybody who is not familiar with cystoscopies: It's an outpatient thing where they jam a camera up your uretha. Let's just say... it's not comfortable. Well this morning, I'm there. The nurse or tech, whatever she's called, is up in there looking around and for some reason she decides to turns on the radio. I don't know why she does it but she does. I like to think I'm a good sport generally so I don't...

< This is my first time writing and i'm not an english speaker. It's long so TLDR at the end > I (19F) was planning to clean my earrings today after showering. This is my first time cleaning them because my mum usually cleans them (She have some trust issues with me when it comes to some stuff). I thought that i should be the one cleaning them and i did tell her like few weeks ago and she agreed. I carefully removed my earrings before showering and i put it in a small container filled with water. When i was done i cleaned the bathroom and then i took the container and took one earring (BTW it's a stud earrings or whatever you guys call it) to clean it with a toothbrush and tried brushing it to get the dirt out. However i did this in the wash basin with nothing to prevent me accidentally dropping it in. And it slid from my fingers and i watched in horror as it rolls down to the drain. I was looking at it for few seconds and i was scared of my mum's reaction...

Ok, so technically this happened in January but it's been burning a hole in my brain so I had to share! I had recently been sick with COVID with mild/moderate symtpms, but been declared non-contagious and needed to get back to work since I'm self-employed as a dog walker. Not the fancy, walking 20 dogs at once kind, I live in the suburbs of the Midwest and primarily walk one or two dogs at a time. Anyway, I'm out with one of my regular clients about halfway through our hour long walk when my stomach starts making THAT noise. Now this particular walk is essentially walking a mile straight down a trail and a mile back along the same path we just walked, the turnaround point being a moderately wooded area. As soon as I realized my digestive system was about to betray me I turned around and started walking back as fast as I could. I knew within the first few steps I wasn't going to make it and I started to panic, sweating and clenching my butt cheeks as hard as I could. T...

Today I was helping my grandma clean out her house for her to move in with her fiancé and while I was there, there was a bunch of stuff she and my cousins didn’t want so she gave me some things including a blue guitar that my cousin left a while ago and he didn’t want anymore. When I got home I got out my phone and decided I wanted to learn how to play it. I opened YouTube and looked up “how to play guitar”. I found a video and it told me I needed to tune the guitar which hadn’t crossed my mind yet so I downloaded an app to help me and I tuned all of my strings. There was only one string left and the app kept telling me that the string was WAY off. I kept tightening it until finally it snapped. I was so excited. Now all I’ve got is a broken guitar and broken dreams.😞 TL;DR: Got guitar from grandma, tuned it too much, string popped off.

Disclaimer: this happened some years ago My family was at my parents house having a summer BBQ. Aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents. It was a beautiful day and everyone was outside enjoying the sunshine. I was a teenager at the time. This was the summer the song Cameltoe came out. A couple of my aunties had heard the song on the radio. It came up as a topic of conversation, and as the only teenager present, they asked me what a cameltoe is. My grandmother, mom, aunties, and cousins were all looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to share this knowledge with them. Being a young teenager I was embarrassed, and I panicked. I told everyone that a cameltoe is when your second toe on your foot is longer than your first toe. The minute I said this everyone looked towards the ground. They all had their feet in the middle of a circle, like the worst game of Hokey Pokey in history. “I have a cameltoe!” My grandmother. “I have one too!” Auntie #1. “Me too!” Auntie #2. I realized th...

So today my (20M) best friend (20F) was feeling down and sent a story on Instagram about it and I felt the need to joke about it with her and try to comfort her a bit. Now, we are used to always sending sexually suggestive messages to each other, and we always talk about our sex life openly no matter the situation so it has become a daily occurence to just talk about our sexual needs everyday. So here's the (smol) TIFU. As i was writing the message, it seems i took way too much time sending it and the moment I pressed "send", the story switched to an Ad. No big deal you'd say? It should still send it to my best friend ? Well as i checked in my inbox, the message got sent to the company and now my social anxiety kicks in because I can't delete the message and i just blocked the hell out of the company because I can't even try to make them understand how "just relax and masturbate" on an ad for getting closer and petting cats was a mistake. So yeah,...

This happened two days ago, and I'm still a bit embarrassed by this whole thing. On Mondays, I commute by bus to go to work. This is a relatively recent change in my routine, as I’d usually walk, but I’m mostly used to it by now. However, today I encountered a situation that I was wholly unprepared for. So, picture this, it’s 10:46 AM and I’m standing at the bus stop eating a pop tart. One minute later, a bus arrives. Not my bus; I take the NL, this was the 12. Now usually, this bus drives straight past. The bus is scheduled to stop here, but I usually stay just out of sight beside the bus stop canopy, obscured by an advertisement in its smashed window frame. This time isn’t meant to be any different. I peek around the canopy, spot the bus, and step back out of sight. Unfortunately, the bus stops anyway. The bus driver spots me and gives a small nod of acknowledgment. I don’t return the gesture, instead slightly shaking my head. At this point, I think it’s a bit unfortunate that ...

TIFU by leaving my erotic fiction on the family printer. Background: I'm a middle aged wife and mother of teenagers. A few months ago, I was inspired to write a romance novel. It has become my main hobby when I'm not at work, and it's important to me. The kids are aware that I'm writing a romance novel. They just weren't aware that it's more 50 Shades of Grey than it is The Notebook. I didn't start off intending to write an R rated story, but that's how it ended up. The characters are young adults (20s) who are trying to escape difficult situations. There are plenty of F bombs, which I do not say in front of my kids. There's also some fairly graphic sex scenes. I have been typing the story on a word document, but I'm at the point now where I am editing and revising the first draft. I find it easier to print the chapters, read and correct them, then type the edits. I usually print a few pages at a time to work on. This weekend I printed some page...

Part 1: I say today. It’s not today. I’ve been doing it for years up until last week. I get tension headaches really often. Always in the back of my skull where my spine goes up into it. Spreads up and over my skull. Burns a bit. Always put it down to sleeping funny on a pillow or wearing a hair bobble to bed. Quite often like to give the muscles at the base of my skull a good hard massage by digging my fingers in. Doesn’t really work though. Part 2: I get ringing in my ears quite often. Like a tone when you pick up a landline. Also I use a desk quite often now and have noticed I get tingly hands from leaning my wrist on the desk. And feet. Should really get a wrist or foot support. Being human is annoying sometimes isn’t it. Part 3: got another sinus infection in Jan worst one yet. Dizziness, head pressure, ear pressure, headaches got worse couldnt walk properly. Then got covid so that added to all the symptoms. Again. Being human is ANNOYING. Been suffering the sinus issues and he...

This happened a little while ago. I was toying with posting, but I decided that I have to tell someone. Using a throwaway account. While vacationing in another country where food is known for making you gassy, I fucked up. I had just woken up. My stomach was kind of rumbling as it sometimes does in the mornings. My partner was still asleep, so I quietly get up to use the bathroom. I quickly realized that I could not hold the gas in until I made it down the hall to the bathroom. So I did the whole pull your butt cheeks apart thing, so I could discreetly poot. I’m standing at the foot of the bed, bare ass, holding my cheeks apart, and it happens. No air. Just poo. Right there on the hardwood floor. Just a bit, enough to shock me. Without anything in the room to cleanup with, I quickly slipped pants on and ran to the toilet where I was able to finish. Thankfully my partner didn’t wake up during the whole thing and I was able to make it back to the room with a few things to clean up wha...

This happened whilst at Uni in the UK. I studied English (and eventually got my degree at a high level, so must have been doing something right) when we were in a seminar discussing the book that we had to have read that week. I’m not sure which book (I certainly hadn’t read it), but there was an element to the book that apparently touched on prostitution. The seminar discussion then turned onto the related topic of local prostitution, and the fact that in the street adjacent to our campus USED TO BE a notorious red light district. Whether it was related to the book exactly or not, the (female for context) professor asked the class “Can anyone think of a reason why there could have been a sudden change and that one moment there was prostitution here and then the next there was not?” I knew that the responses she was looking for was related to police action, law changes, economic changes in the local community, gentrification of the area etc… certainly I recall thinking that these w...

For clarification. This was not a dream I had. I have these awfully strange experiences in my sleep. I'm not sure how to describe it other than sleep paralysis with uncontrolled movements. I dream while I'm awake, but in these dreams I sometimes do things I can't control. I dreamt I was in my room by myself and starting masturbating. I then "woke up" with my hand down my pants and my roommate watching youtube a couple feet beside me. I rolled over and fell asleep immediately, and then dreamt about the consequences. I'm fully awake now and back to consciousness, and it only hit me how awkward things are going to be for a while. My roomie hasn't said anything, maybe they didn't see? Anyway TIFU. TL;DR Caught masturbating in my sleep by my roommate.

For ten years I was a heroin addict. Several times when I tried to get clean, I would drink alcohol and I would always go back to drugs. This time, I decided to get totally clean from everything and really give it a shot. I got out of detox and started going to AA meetings. After being in AA for about 2 months I started making some friends that were in the AA meetings with me. We were all pretty young and kind of still wanted to live the fun party life while at the same time, retaining our sobriety. So - we all decide to go out to a bar. There I was, 60 days clean, in a bar with 200 people and riddled with an amount of anxiety that I would not wish on my worst enemy. My buddy and I started talking to a couple girls and I got the bright idea that I should go get them a couple drinks. I figured, hey that's what you do at a bar, right? Get a drink for a girl? As I walk back from the bar with two vodka sprites, I approach our newfound lady friends. ​ "Hey I got a couple drink...

Last night as I was coming home from picking up dinner, I hopped on the elevator in my apartment at the same time as a guy wearing a Space Force t-shirt. Being in the DC area, I'm used to all sorts of military people wearing casual armed forces shirts in the gym but I had never seen a Space Force shirt, ever. So, I turn to the guy and make a joke because I'm 100% that annoying person that likes to break awkward silences on elevators. I say to him "sometimes I forget that the Space Force is a real military branch" He looks at me, very seriously, and says "it's most definitely real, I used to be in charge of it." That's right, my dumb ass unknowingly made a joke about Space Force to the former commanding officer of the United States Space Force who apparently lives in my building. I recovered by saying that I work at Veterans Affairs (true) and that one of our long term efforts is getting all of the VA systems updated to include USSF (also true) w...

Throwaway account. Last night my roommate (25f) asked me (20m) to rub antiseptic cream on her lower back. She had a bruise just above her butt from a recent accident that involved too much alcohol and too many stairs. She was wearing an arm sling too. I was warming my food and finishing my weed when my roommate approached me and made her problem our problem. She indicated that her good arm was out of service and requested my assistance. I pointed out that nothing was wrong with her other arm though. I was joking. It was the stoner in me surfacing. I said tell me what to do. My roommate unexpectedly leaned over the counter in front of me and lifted her shirt above her waist. Not gonna lie, inappropriate thoughts automatically crossed my mind at that moment. I'm human. However, I didn't allow my filthy imagination to cloud my judgment. My roommate instructed me to be gentle when applying the cream because the bruise on her back was still sensitive. I applied the cream as gentl...

Throwaway account so nobody I know sees this. Today I F19 bought a new bottle of Nair as I was starting to get fed up of constantly shaving and getting razor rash. I have used Nair before so I wasn’t worried about all the horror stories I have heard of women getting chemical burns from Nair. I started applying the product to my bikini line and everything was fine unfortunately for me I accidentally applied the Nair a bit further down than anticipated and got it on my labia. I thought fuck it nothing bad will happen. Famous last words right there. After I had applied the Nair everywhere I needed I started the process of watching TikTok’s whilst I waited for the timer to go off. The problem with that is that I had forgotten to set the timer and had it on for 10 more minutes than needed. I had a slight tingle down there but thought nothing of it but as I was clearing away the cream and hair it was becoming difficult and the tingle got worse. I decided to hop in the shower to get the re...

I just got diagnosed with presbyopia even though I'm only 35. I've always had issues sleeping. It always gets way worse with stress. I've never drank or done drugs and I don't like taking medication. I've always used exercise and natural products to sleep, and it's worked. I work in a family business and when COVID lockdowns happened the other family members who ordinarily work in the business had to stay away and isolate due to health and age concerns. I ended up working six or seven days a week ten-to-twelve-hour shifts and I was managing everything else along with the staff of about a dozen teenagers. I felt like my work never ended, even when I was home. We had never made plans for the business to operate without family members. Every aspect of the business fell on my shoulders, and I basically had to redesign many aspects of the operation. I just couldn't get my mind to shut down. I started taking over the counter sleep medication to finally get som...

(The event happened two days ago but I wasn't aware of the fuck up until now) This past Sunday was a normal evening, got home from the gym, showered, threw on my favorite PJs and started to cook dinner. While my chicken was in the air fryer I was scrolling on Instagram. I saw some of my female friends go live. I joined in and started chatting with them and they eventually said they want to come and hangout at my house for a bit. When they got here we were sitting on my back porch watching Netflix having casual conversation and petting my dog. So kinda abruptly after only being here 20 minutes one of them said they wanted to go home. Kinda confused, I drove them home and that was that. Fast forward two days later, I stop by their house to pickup something I had left. My two female friends and their older brother (one of my best friends) had just got home. The two girls didn't even look at me and immediately walked into the house. My best friend walks over to me with a serious ...

I was at the local grocery store picking up a couple items. I was waiting in line for what seems like a long time so I started listening to what was happening in front of me. This woman around my age(she looked about mid twenties) in scrubs, had her cards keep declining for a small amount of food items. She looked really stressed by it. I started feeling bad for her, she looked tired, upset, and my best guess is she works in a hospital. She tried about 3/4 cards before I stepped in. I said to her, “here I will cover it for you, it’s okay.” And she turned around and snapped at me. Almost at the point of yelling, “I CAN PAY FOR IT MYSELF. I DONT NEED ANYBODIES FUCKING HELP.” So of course say “sorry,” as I wither away and step back to remain silent. She then proceeded not to be able to pay and left the store hurriedly. I’m assuming she had a shitty day, and I feel bad for offering but I would’ve felt worse for not so whatever I guess. TLDR; I offered to pay for this woman’s groceries...

This was last night and I’m still a bit freaked out. I live in a townhome with my bf and 2 other friends less than a mile away from downtown. Our neighborhood is pretty safe for the most part, but at night there are some stragglers that come around. The townhomes aren’t in a gated community but there are cameras everywhere to deter theft. In the past few months, I’ve been leaving the garage door open during the night after I smoke; I like to keep it open sometimes to lessen the smell of cigarette smoke. So last night, just like any other, I went down to smoke my last cig for the day. It was about 1:30am and I had my garage door opened slightly (4 feet off the ground) and as always, I sat in my chair between my car and the wall. My neighbors are mostly in their late 20’s-30’s and they party A LOT. They also come home very late so it’s not unusual to hear footsteps or cars driving by at 2am. I don’t watch videos on my phone while I smoke, I just scroll through Reddit or other media. S...

Not the worst fuck up, but I'm (30F) pretty shy irl, so I'm still feeling it, even hours later.... I'm moving into a new apartment at the end of the month and needed help getting my current room clean for the new occupants (I struggle with depression, and while it wasn't awful, it's a huge room with ton of stuff I've unintentionally hoarded over the past 7 years) Anyway, I hired an amazing cleaner! She was super understanding of the state of my room and did an impeccable job. She was here for 8 hours and the room looks perfect! However after going through the stuff she cleaned out of my closet, I noticed an opened box I'd forgotten about. In it was copious amounts of very specific sex toys and rope..... she never said anything but damn... idk if I can ever face her again. I'm now just trying my best to laugh about it. TL;DR: I hired a cleaner to help clean my room . Forgot about all the sex toys and rope in my closet she ended up organizing.

TIFU 3 days ago. some backstory. My dad is(was) a hardcore DIY guy, do it himself at all costs. Car needs brakes... he'd do it. Needs and engine Of course he's on it. House needs tile, he's not gonna pay a contractor, he'll read up on it, and do it himself. Growing up that's just how things were, anything you can learn, you do. Anything you haven't learned yet, you hire and then watch/learn, then do it yourself next time. DIY and working hard was his thing.... he never seemed to sleep. was always available for a problem, or just an ear to listen to my problems, and give me suggestions on fixes.... cue 3 days ago.... dad called me, asking what parts I might need from some cars he'll be taking to the junkyard. earth day is saturday and he'll get more money from junking the cars that day than any other. A friend of mine needs a driveshaft and a shifter from one of the cars he happens to be scrapping, so I tell him I could use those parts. We chat a b...

For starters: My wife (24f) has an identical twin sister, and I mean identical. Same hair cut and weight within a couple of pounds of each other. I (23m) went on a beach vacation with my wife, her sister, sisters husband, mother-in-law, and father-in-law. We rented a beach house for the week (Saturday to Saturday), and every morning the family drove a short distance to actually lay out and swim on the beach for a couple of hours. Then we would head back to the house, shower, and everyone would kind of split up and do their own thing the rest of the day. The beach house is on stilts, under the house is enough room to park a couple of vehicles on one side, and the other side has a storage closet and an outdoor shower. Every morning when we got back from the beach our routine went something like this; women shower first while the men put the cooler, chairs, towels, bags, and boogie boards away in the closet outside. Then the guys usually stand around or raid the fridge until the shower...

This story is just so... Recently I decided to begin a healthier lifestyle so I started a new hobby. Hiking. I and a bunch of other hiking connoisseurs decided to organize a group of about 20 people. But the closest place that you can really hike in is 3 hours from where I live. That did not dissuade me. And so I woke up early and realized I didn't have anything to make a decent breakfast with. So I decided to be lazy and ate a slice of bread with cheese and milk (which I later found out was past it's expiration date). I drank my coffee and my adventure began. For the first hour and a half I felt fine with only some weird noises coming from my stomach. When it really went downhill was while I was in the middle of the Highway, stuck in traffic, I heard something. It sounded like a very old engine and a rusty chainsaw were having sex and were getting very into it. Then I farted. Complete silence. The calm before the storm. Then. The smell, oh the SMELL. Vile wouldn't eve...

It's been a long day. I was just at a party/gathering, I'm tired and wanted to just shower, and go unwind. So, I start to run the water, hop in, and then just do normal shower things. I wash my hair, etc, and absentmindedly while rinsing out some shampoo, I randomly decide to do some squats. If you ask me why, I won't know what to tell you. I don't even know why I did it. The shower was obviously slippery, and after like, five, I start to slide around a bit. I have one of those bath + shower combos, and so there's a showerhead and a faucet. And as I'm being my idiot self, I bend down, slide backwards, and try to stand up in the worst possible spot. Right under the faucet. The faucet in my shower/tub is weirdly high-up and sticks out a bit longer than it probably should, so I hit myself REALLY hard on the underside of the faucet. It hurt like hell, and I get that 'Oh shit, what did I just do' feeling, trip over my own feet and fall down. At this point,...

I am currently doing online college and had to retake a class. The written assignments are all the same just a different instructor. Since they are the same I just changed the wording on the essay and tweaked it a little and then submitted it instead of re writing the whole thing. My documents are also not very organized so I made a huge mistake. Well I accidentally submitted the wrong essay. The essay I turned for last assignment ended up being the one I need for the current assignment. I think I'm screwed. I just emailed the professor asking if I could resubmit the essay hoping he hasn't noticed or read it yet as grades don't come out til Thursday. TLDR; I am retaking a class with the same assignments different professor and accidentally turned in a future assignment.

I love the ginger they give you with sushi at a Japanese restaurant plus it’s good for your stomach. I never really thought much about it since it’s the only time I ever eat ginger besides drinking ginger ale occasionally. I thought to myself maybe I’ll just buy the ginger myself and make it in bulk. I bought a bunch of ginger from the super market thinking I can just peel and slice it and I would have ginger just like at the sushi restaurant. Then I realized it doesn’t work that way. I googled how to make it that way. Actually I looked it up on tiktok. You have to pickle it which involved rice vinegar which I didn’t have so I used regular vinegar. It turned out gross. So much easier to just go and buy the premade stuff. TL;DR: Fresh ginger is not the same as sushi restaurant ginger and it’s a lot easier to just go buy it than try to pickle it yourself.

I (20M) and my gf (20F) live a short distance away and both don’t drive, so we travel to see each other by train or by her mum and partner giving her a lift (I’m at uni so far away from my parents). Last Monday I asked to see her after work as I usually go up to her work, meet her there, come back with her and her mum and spend the day and night with her, then we get dropped off at her work in the morning where I then get the train back. She said yes and so I went up. She works at a nursery, and her 3y/o nephew goes there (her sister’s son). I’ve met him and my gf’s sister and they’re great, and my gf’s sister was picking up her son that day and unbeknownst to us they can back with us. We had a great day together and I enjoyed it a lot. I really wanted to talk to her that day because of uni, work and sport stress I was going under, including a big calorie deficit to make weight that I knew would have effects on me. I didn’t raise it up during the day as I was distracted by everyone be...

A few small bits of info before I get to the FU 1. Due to our Landlord selling our property my wife and I are currently living with my mother (and so far its been going well) 2. Its my sons 11th bday next month and we're finally caving and getting him a phone 3. We figured as its his first phone it would be better to give him my old phone and I'd upgrade mine. 4. I went from a Samsung S22 to 23Ultra Now to the FU, my phone arrived and I've been busy setting it up. While most of my files and everything copied across to the new phone the photos in my secure Album didnt and I've been forced to move these manually. The photos in the secure album are... shall we say, intimate photos of my wife. When moving the photos they were saving directly into my gallery and I then had to manually save them into a secure album. My wife and I were sat on our sofa in the room which my mother has kindly converted into 'our' living room. While I was transferring the photos across ...

Reddit, adulting is hard in general but apparently I'm not even at the elementary school level yet. I have always tied my shoelaces the way Mom taught me: 1. Do the whole criss-cross under thing to secure laces, 2. Make a loop with my right hand, 3. Bring lace from left hand over the loop, 4. Do the thing. Now, I did feel like I had to re-tie my shoes more frequently than others but chalked that up to my general clumsiness. I'm on my way home from vacation in Borneo right now, where we went on many jungle treks that required leech socks. Leech socks are basically a tight weave bag you wear over your socks and pants so that leeches (that can chew through fabric) don't bite your ankles. For whatever reason my leech socks were constantly coming loose to the point where our guide commented on my shoe lace tying ability and re-tied them for me - embarrassing(!) - but I went on with my life thinking "oh I guess I need to tie it real tight like a turnicet." So today ...

I was scrolling through Discord with my friend, trying to find something funny to send. I was feeling a bit mischievous, so I decided to search for something questionable and random, maybe a fish sucking on an "eel" that would represent a phallic object. I thought it would be hilarious to send to my friend, so I eagerly began my search. Without thinking, I clicked on the first link that popped up on Google. To my shock, it was a PORNHUB link to fish pornography. My heart dropped. I immediately tried to delete it, hoping to erase the evidence, but it was too late. My parents have an app that alerts them if I visit any adult website, and it gives them all the information about the URL. My mind raced as I imagined my parents getting a notification and thinking I was watching fish pornography. I'm not sure which would be worse, if they thought I was watching regular porn or fish porn. Either way, I knew I was in trouble. I confided in my friend about what had happened, hopin...

My mom's car has a gearbox issue whereby it does not reverse properly. This has led to a few awkward situations like pushing it uphill out of driveways and my mom driving forwards over concrete dividers because she couldn't reverse out of a car spot. However, while these situations are slightly annoying, I have never learned my lesson in a way more dangerous to property and lives, or as expensive as my fuckup today. For context, I (22M) live with my parents and our house is at the top of a court. My girlfriend was heading home for the night, but she was parked in my mom's spot at the top of the steep portion of the driveway, and my mom had blocked her in, parking at the relatively flat section at the end of the driveway. No biggie - let's go swap the cars. I try to reverse mom's car and it just revs, doesn't move. Usually she needs to park on the incline and let gravity get it going, but she had parked with the back wheels firmly in the gutter. Being young, n...