greenmangostudio

"Why the fuck is there woman's pajamas in my luggage?" That's what I asked myself after I spent 25 minutes going through 655 combinations on the in-built luggage lock in this Sydney hotel. "Oh shit... Maybe this isn't my luggage at all?" At first I thought the customs people had just locked it after an inspection, because it had luggage tag with my name on it. That's when I remembered, when I did a self transfer in Tokyo, I had taken off a previous set of luggage tags. I search through my jacket to see if I kept it... Yep. That's not my name. I start panicking. That bag had a lot of momentos in it from trip. I call the airlines, no help, this was my fault and not their mixup... They say they'll notify me if someone contacts them about missing luggage. Then a LinkedIn message. "Hi. Did you lose your luggage in Tokyo?" Why... Yes I did. "Yes. I have it." We discuss options. Shipping both through normal carriers w...

I (m 22) have been interviewing for a finance role and was at the final round of interviews yesterday. I had received great feedback. This is an analyst role out if college so nothing too fancy, but I was excited. The final interview was with a director. It was mostly conversational but right at the end he asked if I could pull up an excel I had sent as part of my interview. I was feeling very cocky and didn't prepare this part as I figured they would not ask...since I had done so well before I was not expecting him to ask this, so was caught off guard. I found the file, hit share and started walking through the file. .after about 20 seconds he stopped me and said thats fine.m, and soon cut the interview short. It was near the end so I did not think much of it, until right after the interview when I realize I had screen shared the wrong tab. I completely messed up and accidentally shared the below. Tab i accidentally shared had this gif in full screen Reddit, what do you thi...

it took me 10 months to get behind it. Last year some time I recognized my google maps sometimes giving me really strange route suggestions but I thought maybe google really knows the best efficient way without really questioning it. As I am really bad geography I just drove what google said. Sometimes the ride was so long that I used Apple Maps or Waze. And often did I ride and thought jeez, how is this highway closed again or has so much traffic that it is taking me on another route. Background, last July i was on a motorbike trip and wanted more beautiful chilled routes. Tl;dr 10 month did I take much longer routes google maps routes because I turned off highways before a motorbike trip. I suspected that google a) knows better or that the highway is shut or has a lot of traffic (again). Only today did I realise😹

Don’t want to give away too much about myself, So I have a work client who just returned from a trip to Paris. We were chatting today and they were telling me all about it and mentioned how they tried foie gras for the first time. I replied with, “mmm dick lover!”. After a quick pause I blurted out, “DUCK LIVER! I MEANT DUCK LIVER!”. Fortunately I have a fairly decent relationship with this person and they laughed, but good god did I feel like falling into the earth for a minute ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… TL;DR: a work client told me they tried fois gras and I blurted out “DICK LOVER” when I meant to say “DUCK LIVER”

So I just got an email notification stating that I was removed from my Amazon family plan. I completely forgot that YEARS ago my sister and brother-in-law added me to their account as a “teen” so I could mooch free Prime from them. Upon seeing this I started getting a panic attack because I have made MANY spicy purchases on there, things I know they don’t want to know about their little sister. I quickly googled to see if there’s any chance they’ve been privy to these purchases and there, plain as day it reads: Yes, if you are a teen on an Amazon Household account, your parents will be notified about your purchases because they need to approve them. My brethren in Christ, my sister has been approving every single purchase I’ve made for YEARS!! The mundane ones, the questionable ones, the impulse ones, the downright horny ones, EVERYTHING! And she’s never said ONE WORD about it this whole time! My last purchase made was 2 days before being notified via this email and yes, it was a hor...

I was about to enter the bathroom when my fiancé stopped me and asked me if I could quickly help him put some bio freeze on his back. Ofc no problem! I happily applied it for him and went on my way. Brushed my hair and put it up for bed, washed my hands quickly. Then I hopped on the old potty John to go number1. However, as I was wiping I noticed a slight tingling sensation on the old sausage pocket. I was so confused on what was going on when I looked over and saw the little green tube of terror staring at me. Menacingly. I suppose I didn't wash my hands well enough before I carried on with my bad self. And well yeah the remnants of the bio freeze was still on my hand forgot about it and now I'm dealing with the burning of a fiery summer day in hell but also the sweet coolness of a popsicle on that fiery summer day in Hell. TL;DR: I got remnants of bio freeze on my fuzz muff.

Okay to start, I just want to clarify I’m not a pervert. I’ve been in the Army for 8 years and have routinely participated in random drug screenings, both as a participant and “observer”. An observer is someone that makes sure the person testing isn’t doing anything weird or that can compromise their specimen. You have to “see the specimen leaving the body” of the participant (no one ever gets that close you pretty much just watch them). Well I’m getting out of the military. Today I had my first non-military pre employment drug screening. I went into my normal routine. Got the cup, opened the door, listened to her instructions. Proceeded to unzip and I hear a “Uhh sir can you can close the door please?” Oh shit! I didn’t know that was allowed. I thought it was weird I had a female observer. Super awkward hand off. TLDR: I don’t need to use the bathroom with the door open anymore.

This literally just happened an hour ago and I'm still cringing so hard I want to disappear. I work at this small accounting firm and there's maybe 15 of us total. We're all pretty close and joke around a lot. So there's this guy Kevin (late 20s maybe?) who sits near me and he's been acting weird lately. Like he keeps asking me about my desk neighbor Amy, what she likes to eat for lunch, if she's dating anyone, stupid stuff like that. It was pretty obvious he had a thing for her but Amy seemed totally oblivious. Today we're all in the break room for someone's birthday cake and Kevin's being his usual awkward self around Amy. She's talking about how she's thinking of dyeing her hair and Kevin just goes "you'd look good with any hair color" which was sweet but also cringe. I thought I was being helpful by nudging him a little. So without really thinking I said "Kevin you should just ask her out already, we all know you ha...

Believe it or not, it doesn't wind up in my ass. Obligatory "this did not actually happen today" comment. It happened a while back when I was still in high school. I was sitting in my German class. I had just gotten back from lunch and I was one of the only kids in the room. I noticed a toy horn sitting atop a nearby cabinet. This horn had a ball on the end of it, and when you squeezed it, it made a loud noise. For whatever reason, I wound up squeezing it when the horn was pressed against my hand. This changed the pitch. All of a sudden, I was fascinated. Like I was a scientist who had just encountered a fascinating phenomenon. I needed to conduct more experiments. So I placed the horn against my forehead and squeezed. Different pitch! Fascinating! I tried my cheek. Yet another pitch! Remarkable! Then I pressed it against my ear. Oops. Turns out blowing a horn directly into your ear, even if it's a toy one, is a really bad idea. That shit was the loudest thing ...

My wife and I tried for years to conceive and both got medical advice on our fertility issue. I went to a fertility clinic to give a sperm sample. When we gave the collection cup to the clinician, she whistled and said something to the effect of "yah, I don't think you're gonna have an issue." I thought she was just being funny and didn't think anything about it at the time. When we got the report, sperm was healthy and in high numbers. My wife's OB at the time seemed to think our difficulty conceiving had something to do with how her cervix was positioned. We tried positioning, timing, etc, but eventually had to go with medical intervention. Fortunately artificial insemination worked and we were blessed to become parents. Fast forward 15 years and a lot of struggles later, my wife and I are trying to get back in touch with being intimate again. It's been a struggle for us so we've had to relearn some things together. We stumbled across a podcast th...

We’re at a family party celebrating grandads birthday, people eating and chatting and playing games in every room of the house. I was pretty excited to be there as I love his family’s humor and they were all very welcoming to me. Except his mom. Frankly, the moms in my life never loved me anyways as I am a bit of a delinquent, so I just did my best to stay polite around her. Unfortunately, my house manners are pretty rough around the edges despite my efforts. I finished my food and took my paper plate into the kitchen where boyfriend’s mom and aunts were chatting, but I couldn’t find the trash can. The conversation goes like this: Me- Does anyone know where the trash can is? Mom- the what? Me- the trash can? Mom- the what? Me- …the trash can? Mom- umm… Me- say it with me slowly, traaasssshh caaannnnnnn Her face goes so dark before reminding me she’s partially fucking deaf and I fucking forgot. I thought I was just making a silly joke about a misunderstanding The aunts aroun...

So about a week or so ago, I was casually scrolling through Taobao and thought, “Hey, why not give this a shot?” I’ve been toying with the idea of picking up leatherworking as a hobby, so I figured I’d order some tools and faux leather to see what the quality was like. Harmless enough, right? Well... not exactly. As you might guess, navigating a site that's half in Chinese didn’t exactly make things easy—especially when it came to understanding the sizing of the materials. The product title said “138cm,” so naturally, I assumed each piece of faux leather I ordered was a nice, neat 138cm square. Oh, boy was i wrong. Turns out, the 138cm was just the width. The length? A casual, totally reasonable 36 METERS. And because I ordered three different colours for practice, I am now the proud soon-to-be owner of 108 meters of faux leather. So yeah. My house is about to become a faux leather warehouse. Anyone need a couch reupholstered? TL;DR: Tried to buy a few practice sheets of fau...

I’ve been trying really hard to stick to a budget lately. Like actually tracking what I spend, cutting back on dumb little purchases, saying no to going out, all that. One of the things I decided to cut was the $30 I usually spend on getting a simple haircut. I figured, how hard can it be? It’s just clippers and some blending, right? So I buy this $20 haircut kit off Amazon, watch like three YouTube videos, and tell myself “you got this.” I go into my bathroom, clipper in hand, and within five minutes I’ve somehow managed to give myself a crooked undercut that looks like I lost a bet. I try to fix it. Big mistake. Now I’ve got one side that’s way shorter than the other and some weird patch in the back I can’t even see but I felt it go wrong. I even called my roommate in for backup and the second he looked at me, he just went “oh no.” I had to wear a beanie all day in 80 degree weather because I had a Zoom call and couldn’t risk showing up like a rejected Sims character. So yeah. ...

I decided to do a factory reset on my PC today after having put it off for a while. Ever since I upgraded it, I felt I wasn't getting everything it could offer and that a factory reset was in order. Over the years, I had accumulated all of our family photos and videos in a folder on this PC. All said, it was roughly 1,000 photos from as early as I was 5 years old. I had backed up the photos in case of an event, twice. Once on my phone and another on a flash drive. Problem is my phone was running out of space so I decided to delete the photos to make space thinking I had two more instances on my PC and flash drive. About a month or so ago I erased the backup on the flash drive as well to make space for a Linux installer as I wanted to mess around with old laptops I had lying around. But I had completely forgotten to add the photos back to the flash drive when I was done. Fast foward to today, I impulsively decided to go forward with the factory reset on my PC. Before doing so, I ba...

My fiancé came home with a fresh haircut and he was looking pretty good. The minute he came home I was try to start something. While he was gone though, I had some ramen for a quick lunch. More specifically Korean Budalk ramen. For those who don’t know it’s the probably the spiciest instant noodle on the market. I’m Mexican so it’s perfect for me and it’s definitely not healthy but it’s a guilty pleasure. I had just finished a bowl of it when he came through the door. My mouth was still burning. Right away we got into it and I even gave him an out. “Do you thinking the spicy ramen will affect things? It was some spicy ass ramen.” But no, we pushed on. I put my mouth on his member, trying to do what I do best. Then suddenly he pushed me off. “OUCH, yeah it’s spicy.” Then I witnessed him running to the bathroom and rinsing his penis off in the sink for a good bit. Tbh it was hilarious to me. The image alone sent me. Definitely made one too many jokes about spicy latinas and then a...

I was in Target shopping for socks when a little girl, maybe 4 or 5, walked up crying, saying she lost her mom. I’ve got younger cousins and a heart, so I said, “Let’s find an employee,” and walked with her toward the front. Apparently, walking off with a lost child, even toward help, triggers every single alarm Target has. An employee saw me, panicked, and hit the Code Adam button. Within seconds, doors locked, intercoms blaring. I was frozen like a deer in headlights, holding this kid’s hand, wondering if I was about to be tackled. Luckily, the mom came running up shouting, “That’s her, that’s my daughter!” which saved me from being profiled into the sun. Employee apologized. I apologized. Kid was fine. I left sockless and traumatized. TL;DR: Helped a lost kid in Target, accidentally triggered a Code Adam and nearly got tackled. Socks not acquired.

This happened a couple of days ago. My boyfriend and I were at the store this weekend and saw cupping therapy devices, and he wanted to get them to try them out. We used them on our backs and the rest of our bodies (I think they helped?) when he had the great idea to cup his forehead and mine. I (wrongly) assumed that this would last 24 hours, max. We were both sorely mistaken. Now, he and I have been sporting huge red circular hickeys on our foreheads for almost 3 days now. His is worse (thankfully), but mine isn't much better. I put foundation on both of our spots, but it still looks pretty rough lol. My coworkers think it's hilarious (it is). My boyfriend has an interview coming up soon, too. Overall, I don't recommend cupping your forehead. The rest of the circles disappeared from our bodies within 24 hours though. Haha TL; DR: My boyfriend and I have the wonderful idea to use cupping techniques on our foreheads.

So, I went over to my boyfriend’s place. He was hanging out and chatting with his roommates in the living room, so I went straight to his bedroom to chill while I waited. For context, I don’t currently have a phone, so when I’m at his place I usually use his to scroll or watch something. His phone was lying on the bed, unlocked, so I grabbed it to put something on. That’s when I saw some pictures of naked men. At first, I thought, “Oh, he watches gay porn? That’s new, but okay, no judgment.” But then I noticed green message bubbles on every photo, that’s when I realized it wasn’t porn, it was a dating app for gay men, my heart sank, There were so many conversations. One of them was him telling some guy how much he enjoyed what they did last time and asking when he could come over again. I didn’t want to confront him in front of his roommates, I just wanted to leave. So I closed the app and went to open InDrive (a taxi app, like Uber), but then I saw the home screen. It wasn’t my ...

This happened two nights ago. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, but he crashes at my place a few times a week. I got home late, totally exhausted, and was thrilled to see him already asleep in bed. The lights were off. I slipped in beside him and spooned him from behind, resting my arm on his chest. He didn’t move. I whispered, “Babe, are you awake?” Still nothing. I kissed the back of his neck. And then a man I’ve never met turned around and screamed. Turns out my roommate’s brother had come into town that night and crashed in the wrong bed, my bed. Neither of us had any idea. I thought it was my boyfriend. He thought I was a home-invading pervert. We both screamed. My roommate came running. My boyfriend showed up 15 minutes later, laughing so hard he cried. TL;DR: Got into bed with who I thought was my boyfriend. Was actually my roommate’s brother. Accidentally traumatized both of us.

So my sister drops off my 3-year-old nephew at my place while she runs errands. No problem, I love the little guy. He’s obsessed with superheroes right now. I figured I’d surprise him with my old Halloween costume: full Deadpool gear, mask and all. Except… he didn’t recognize me. At all. He took one look at me and screamed like I murdered his dog. Full-on meltdown. Ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and wouldn’t come out for 30 minutes. I tried everything. I even took off the mask and held up his favorite snack like, “Buddy, it’s Uncle Matt.” He didn’t believe me. Kept yelling, “Go away bad Spiderman!” over and over. That’s when I realized, this dude doesn’t know Deadpool. He thinks I’m some evil Spider-Man variant here to end his short life. My sister came back to find him sobbing in the tub with goldfish crackers floating around him. Now I’m banned from "surprising" him until further notice. TL;DR: Wore my Deadpool costume to entertain my toddler nephew. He tho...

I’d been looking forward to getting a new telescope for my birthday, and found the perfect one for my area and budget. My parents had planned to get it right away, but they’ve been working full time and my mom especially just kept forgetting to actually purchase it. I guess she got fed up with constant reminders, so she just ended up handing me her credit and telling me to do it myself. Of course what follows is me saying yes, and trying to do it on my phone (which has notoriously malfunctioned when it comes to online purchases in the past.) So I attempt to buy the telescope, but after filling out all the payment info and pressing purchase it tells me the purchase failed. Cool. So I tried again, same thing. Did it one last time and got the same results so I decide to wait a bit and try again on my computer. I buy it on my computer and all is well and dandy, except when I go to find the confirmation email, I see not one but two. One from twenty minutes earlier. That I clearly did no...

tifu, so, today i decided im gonna dye my hair, give myself a haircut, you know all that lovely stuff. After sitting around getting the dye in, washing it out, cutting my fringe and doing some lovely beauty care. i sit down and go to straighten out my bangs, to find my hair straighteners on, i am the only one that uses them. i haven’t used them in around 7 months. They were under my bed and have burnt a hole in my carpet. Now all i can think about is what if i hadn’t found them, thats a fire hazard! and all i can think of is how much that’s been contributing to my electric bill! i am too embarrassed to even tell anyone yet. Please reddit, i need some help on how im gonna explain this absolute fuck up to the people i live with! TL;DR: I found my hair straighteners that had been left on, under my bed for approximately 7 months.

This is in a German national park. I've been staying at the hostel for a week-- no car. Because I had come back super late at night the previous day and left super early in the morning today, no-one working at the hostel had seen me since yesterday morning. When I got back today, they said "hey, why didn't you check out? we were worried, we thought you might have fallen while climbing, so we called the police. They were going to send a helicopter out for you." At first I thought it was totally crazy of them, but then realized that it was my check-out day and that I really was meant to leave with all my stuff in the morning, so of course they would freak out when they didn't see me. TL;DR I thought I was supposed to check out the following day, the hostel was confused when they saw all my stuff in my bed, they called the police.

Hi everyone, I’m in a confusing but hopeful situation and could really use some perspective or advice. A few weeks ago, I applied for a role I was genuinely excited about. After about 20 days of no updates, I decided to withdraw my application, thinking maybe getting referred by someone else would increase my chances. I withdrew my application on a Tuesday. After that, I approached someone internally for a referral — but he said he couldn’t refer me since I was already in the system. I wasn’t sure if the withdrawal had properly processed, or if something else was preventing it. Then something unexpected happened — on Thursday (just two days later), I received an interview invite from HR. I was surprised but thrilled and went ahead with the interview. It went really well, and I felt confident and optimistic afterward. Now I’m wondering: Could the earlier withdrawal affect my chances, even after a good interview? Might the system flag me or create internal confusion with the hirin...

So this happened 2 days ago and I’m still not sure if I’m employed or about to be a meme. I’ve been working my ass off trying to land this job in a company I really admire. Like interviews, follow-ups, little “thank you” emails that took me 40 mins to write just to sound casual. Finally I get the call—I'm in. Job offer signed. They say "hey come meet the team, we’re going out for a welcome dinner." Cool. Chill. I can do this. I’ve been dreaming of this. We get to this really fancy seafood place. I’m trying to act like I eat here all the time even tho the fanciest thing I’ve eaten this year is microwave risotto. Everyone starts ordering lobster. Like, one after another. And I’ve never had lobster in my life but I panic and go “Yeah same, I’ll have the lobster too.” So already, I'm in deep. Food arrives. Everyone’s got tools. Like actual plier-things and pokey sticks and some kind of seafood guillotine. I’m tryin to play it cool, watching how other ppl do it while...

So I was watching my niece and nephew for my sister over the weekend. They’re 6 and 4. Easy gig: snacks, cartoons, don’t let them die. My girlfriend texted me something spicy around 9PM. I, being a red-blooded idiot, decided to sneak into the bathroom and send a pic. Not that kind of pic, just me shirtless in bed with a smirk and the caption: “This bed would be more fun if you were tied to it 😉” I hit send. Felt cute. Came back out and continued babysitting. About 20 minutes later, I check my phone and see… I sent it to the family group chat. My mom responded, “Excuse me?” My sister replied, “I HOPE TO GOD that was meant for someone else.” My grandma sent a thumbs up. I haven’t spoken since. I might change my name. TL;DR: Tried to sext my girlfriend while babysitting. Accidentally sent it to the family group chat. My grandma liked it.

Ok I haven’t posted a lot on Reddit so apologies if my storytelling skills sucks. So I, 18, am a pretty new and nervous driver. I’m very paranoid about going over the speed limit, red lights, unprotected left turns, etc. This also includes when I drive by police. I live by a very busy street that people often speed on, so there’s often police sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch people. Anyways, I was driving to work today on this street and I see a police car. I double check my speed but am still nervous driving by so I’m probably giving the police car a weird, scared, look. I was also running late to a family event and was having a quick snack while driving. I was eating/drinking one of those small squeeze applesauce pouches. So, I drive by the police car, applesauce in hand, thinking I’m good, when I see it’s lights turn on and it start to pull off the side of the road. I’m very panicked and worried that something is wrong, and I’ve never been pulled over before, so I...

I few years ago I decided a career change was in order and followed my love of plants into horticulture and conservation. I absolutely love my work, and a bit over a year ago was offered a permanent position with an amazing nursery. It’s the best job I’ve ever had and I love almost every part of it. The one thing I find hard to deal with is working outside in summer. Where I am gets hot, often over 40C (105F) and I have always been a winter person preferring to hide in air conditioned comfort during heat waves. But with plants that’s not an option so I decided I’d toughen up and learn to deal with it. Being sweaty is part of the job, but the worst part for me is under boob sweat. I’m a bit heavier, so I sweat a lot there and always had a red, irritating rash. I’ve tried different things like antiperspirant and rash cream but it was always a problem. I just figured I’d have to live with it. A few days ago I noticed a few rashy spots on my side, and then a few more appeared. I asked ...

This disaster unfolded over the weekend and I'm still living in denial about the $1,200 appliance currently blocking my building's hallway 💀 So my old fridge finally died (RIP to 8 years of faithful service), and I had some cash saved up from a work bonus recently. Saw this gorgeous stainless steel double-door beauty on sale and just... bought it. Like a complete amateur who apparently forgot that physics exists. The delivery guys showed up Saturday morning, took one look at my second-floor walkup situation, and basically went "lol good luck." No elevator obviously, just narrow stairs and a hallway that was clearly designed by someone who hates large appliances. My boyfriend and three of his friends volunteered to help (bless them), thinking "how hard could it be?" Cut to 2 HOURS of them trying every possible angle, removing the doors, tilting it sideways, basically attempting fridge Tetris while I stood there having a full existential crisis. Plot twi...

This is a maybe nsfw so figured I would tag just in case. Let’s go. I once was a VP with a work from home job. Also single and casually dating online. I met a woman, and after a couple weeks of chatting and phone calls, we made a first lunch date. Oddly, she insisted on picking me up from home. That day I was wearing a dress shirt and sweat pants, while standing in my open concept kitchen with my lap top on a high island. I was having a management meeting via Zoom with both video and sound engaged. It was supposed to end at noon. She arrives to my home around 1150 and texts from the driveway. I tell her I am on a work call but she can come in if she wants… she does. She comes in smiling and sits on one of my couches off view from my laptop camera. My meeting continues and goes long. At about 1215 my stomach starts to churn. I was stuck on the video call because our CEO was a tyrant. Slowly my gut starts rolling and rolling. I felt a very faint cold sweat begin to brew. Coming to the c...

Eight years ago, when I was a 20-year-old intern in the office I now work in full-time, I made a horrible mistake. I’d been there for maybe a month and I was loving it, but outside work I had zero skills. I hadn’t learned how to cook anything and I’d just improv my way through food, so whenever I made “soup,” I’d just dump a shitload of frozen vegetables whole into a giant mug of broth and microwave it. My department shares a floor with HR, and it’s basically a long hallway of office doors on each side with a tiny kitchenette in the middle (it’s very Lumen, except for how the office doors are noticeably weirdly small for their frames - Ben Stiller would never). It was a Saturday and I went in to do some work, so I was the only person on the floor. I’d packed a soup for lunch, which I’d made by dumping a whole bag of frozen peas in one of my comically large ceramic soup mugs and adding some broth. At around noon I chucked it in the kitchenette microwave and somehow within a few minute...

So, I'm Vietnamese, but I've been in the US since I was six. Just got back to Nam, feeling all nostalgic and shit. Decided to grab a milk coffee from a street vendor. Looked innocent enough, big plastic cup, tasted pretty good. Big fucking mistake. I drank the whole thing. Every last drop. Now, I've smoked weed, I've even hit thuốc lào (Vietnamese pipe tobacco) – thought I was tough. But this coffee? This shit was on another level. My heart started doing a goddamn drum solo. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I swear I was seeing sounds and hearing colors. It felt like I'd mainlined pure anxiety. Ended up in the hospital, looking like a total dumbass. Pretty sure the doctors just laughed at the Americanized kid who couldn't handle his coffee. They hooked me up to an IV and told me to chill the fuck out. Seriously, Vietnamese coffee ain't coffee; it's a goddamn recreational drug. Never again. My heart's still trying to escape my chest. Vietnamese...

Burner because I don't want my idiocy to forever plague me on my main. I haven't flown out of the United States in my whole life. However, one of my best friends from high school moved to Australia to learn about agriculture and ranching. He liked Australia and stayed there and he now has a ranch outside of a little town called Horsham, but he comes back home to where I live (San Francisco) several times a year as a guest presenter at UC Berkeley for ranching. When he does come over here, we get drinks and talk about high school and do fun stuff since he is not usually in a big city. When he is not in San Francisco we stay in touch on Facebook. Tragically, his wife suddenly passed away (I don't want to go into the details for his privacy) and I wanted to come out to Horsham to make sure he was doing ok and support him at her funeral, especially since he doesn't have too many friends. I rushed to book a flight, however, putting in "Horsham" on the travel webs...

This happened yesterday so technically it's a YIFU.. but whatever. So here’s the deal: my mom’s a kindergarten teacher who’s never touched drugs, alcohol, or anything—ever. Then her boyfriend got her into smoking weed. Yeah, hilarious, right? The saint of ABCs and snack time is suddenly a stoner. Yesterday, while she was at work, her boyfriend asked me to drive him to this vape shop (his car was in the shop). They don’t legally sell THC yet, but they do have some strong Delta-8 stuff. He grabs some buds, gummies, and other edibles. I’m not a smoker—used to try it as a teen, but anxiety hijacked my brain with insults like, “You forgot how to breathe,” and then, “You forgot how to walk, dumbass—now everyone’s staring at you.” So yeah, I steer clear. Back home, he’s like, “Wanna smoke?” I say no, freaks me out. Then he says the gummies are “weak enough for beginners.” Cool, I think. Maybe I’ll chill and finally sleep through the night. BIG MISTAKE. I open the bag, dump a handful...

I (70 year old male) made a terrible mistake after telling my new 67-year-old wife that her gray hairs were showing as she was leaving for a work team meeting where she is a supervisor of 9-10 other women. As my new wife slammed the house front door, she stated “We’re going to have a talk when I get home about why you think I shouldn’t have any gray hair”! I had been married to ex-wife for 33 years, and she would get very angry whenever I did NOT tell her or warn her that her hair was turning gray. More than once after a dinner party or dinner date my ex-wife would see herself in the mirror and spot her gray roots showing and would yell at me for NOT telling her that the gray roots where showing. I’m at a loss for what to say or do. I can’t seem to think of anything besides inventing a time machine and going back to prevent this from happening. Does anyone have any constructive suggestions? What can I possibly do to repair my relationship with my new wife? I think I should have si...

I’m in a really stressful and scary situation. A few days ago, someone online tricked me into sharing a private video. Now they’re threatening to leak it to my Instagram followers unless I give them what they want. I don’t know if they’ve actually uploaded it or are bluffing, but they mentioned something about using a site like Sendvid to share the video. I no longer have access to the chat, and I don’t have a link to the video. They’re using fear to control me — and I’m really panicking. I haven’t told anyone in my life yet because I feel ashamed, but I want to do the right thing and stop this before it spreads or ruins my life. I’ve already read that this is called sextortion, and that it’s a serious criminal offense in the UK. But I’m not sure what my next steps should be. Has anyone here been through this and can offer advice? How likely is it they’ll follow through? Will the video be taken down if I don’t have a link? TL;DR TIFU Someone is threatening to leak a private video ...

Had a rough week and really needed a mental break, so I called in sick on a Friday to get a long weekend. I didn’t plan anything wild just wanted to relax, clear my head, and catch a matinee movie without distractions. So, I threw on a hoodie and sunglasses, feeling like a low-key celebrity trying to avoid recognition, grabbed some popcorn, and settled into the theater for the 2PM show. As the trailers ended and the lights dimmed, I noticed someone sit two seats over. It was my boss. With his wife. Also apparently sick. We exchanged one awkward glance, didn’t say a word, and sat through the whole movie in silence. Monday at work? Super awkward. We just pretended nothing happened. TL;DR: Called in sick, went to a movie, ran into my boss doing the exact same thing, and now Mondays are weird.

I was refereeing a soccer game yesterday, as I had been all weekend, and I am finally on my last game, It was the 10th game of the weekend, and I was extremely tired, Some kid touches the ball, I blow my whistle, and I call out (pretty loudly mind you, decent sized field) "Hand!". Well, now imagine my complete mortification, when I look at this child, and he does not, in fact, have a hand on the arm he hit it with. And to make matters even better, my dad, and sister were already there, and laughing their asses off about it. When I woke up this morning, and got downstairs, I see my siblings sitting at the counter, and when they saw me, they started laughing, and my sister that was there said "Hand". TL;DR: I called a handball on a kid missing a hand, and my family is never going to let my live it down. Edit: Yes, I know that is the call, only 1 of the 3 siblings play soccer and she doesn't care to back me up, My siblings bring up things from 10+ years ago, I...

CW for gross butt stuff. I just got home a week ago from a semester at university. I ate pretty crappy while at school because I was focused on getting my grades up, so my diet consisted of mostly instant ramen or whatever food the dining hall had. Overall, not much variety, and definitely not a lot of fiber and other good stuff. I’ve had chronic issues with constipation due to not drinking enough water (I forget), and I was pretty stopped up while at university. To the point where I was getting multiple rectal tears and bleeding and had to go to the doctor for a colonoscopy. They didn’t find anything serious, but my doctor did recommend that I try and change my diet to include more fiber and iron. My parents have started eating pretty healthy after my mom got her gallbladder out a couple of years ago, and our pantry is always stocked with stuff like granola, grape nuts (that really healthy cereal - my dad loves it), and of course, the damned chia seeds. After getting home I decided...

Our male cat is about 13, with long orange fur. He sheds like crazy in the spring, so we get him professionally groomed. He is NOT a fan of being groomed. Our vet prescribed a mild sedative to eliminate his anxiety, and to protect the groomer from being mauled to death! We give him one the night before and another one about an hour before his appointment. We refer to these as his Happy Pills. A few months ago, he was having some digestive issues (hairballs complicated by his love of eating dried leaves he catches in our tiny backyard). Another trip to the vet gets a clean bill of health since he seemed to be past the worst of it. The vet prescribes an appetite stimulant since he hadn't eaten much for a couple of days (this was our big clue that something was wrong because he ALWAYS eats his entire meal). We didn't need to give him any of the pills, and just put them in the medicine cabinet and forgot about them. Fast forward to this week to prep for his grooming appointment....

Started a new job this week. Office is chill, open kitchen, nice people. I was just trying to be normal and not do anything weird Lunchtime rolls around and I’m already kinda anxious. I brought some leftover pasta, toss it in the microwave, hit start and walk away feeling like a functioning adult Then I hear these loud popping sounds. Someone goes “yo is something on fire?” I turn around and there’s actual sparks inside the microwave. Like lightning. Full-on fireworks show I totally forgot I left the metal fork in the container. Just sitting there heating up like a dumb bomb I panic, rip the microwave open like that’s gonna fix it. Everyone’s staring. One guy’s like “did you really put metal in there?” and I just mumbled “yeah I guess I did” Break room still smells like burnt plastic and failure. The office manager said it’s not a big deal but I saw her writing something down and now I’m the microwave guy forever Ate my cold pasta in silence and avoided eye contact for the rest ...

So yeah. I work for one of the big banks. Think suits, glass towers, five layers of management to sneeze. My boss (F, late 30s) is everything you want in a leader, intimidating in that "she remembers everything you've ever said" way. Also, somehow manages to look like she walked off the set of a prestige legal drama every time she's on Teams. Total pro. We sometimes use WhatsApp for quick comms, mostly when we're traveling or out of office. Anyway, She pings me for the Q1 financial update. I polish the report, convert it to PDF, and start composing the email. Meanwhile, I'd also been texting a girl I've been seeing. It was one of those days- banter turned spicy, and she sent a pic that was... motivating. I figured I'd respond in kind. So I took a quick mirror shot... shirtless, definitely flexing a little, not explicit but very "trying to look hot." Then muscle memory betrayed me. I tabbed back into WhatsApp, and just hit send. No resp...

NSFW tag just in case. Ok so I do privet tuition from home. The lesson was on 8:30, so I woke up at 8:00 to make my bad, tidy my room and have breakfast. When I sleep I usually leave my bra by my bedside (You know as you do in your own home). I usually leave only one bra out, that’s why when I put one on I thought it was the only one in visible sight. I was already in a bad mood, because in just 15 minutes awake I had managed to also somehow, drop and garbage bin, and all the trash had fallen down, so I had to pick it up and didn’t have time to make coffee. Anyway, the teacher comes (male by the way) and takes a seat. Little did I know that in the next, where I was supposed to be sitting, was laying another bra that I hadn’t seen while making my room. We didn’t talk about it. I just took it and put it away without saying anything. Still cringing thinking about it. TLDR: I forgot my bra away and my male teacher saw it.

I was so ashamed of being Chinese in middle school I straight up lied to my friends and told them I was Cantonese. The problem is, I had both Cantonese and Chinese friends at the time. The only reason I passed to my Cantonese friends was because I forced myself to learn Cantonese. Although I am only able to understand not speak. When I’m with my Chinese friends I have to pretend I don’t understand Chinese at all, which is difficult and awkward when I’m with their family. It’s turning into a real pain. I’m still friends with some of these people in high school now, and I know that I’m going to blow it someday. I’ve lied about this for two years. TL;DR I pretended to be Cantonese to my friends for two years while I am actually Chinese. Should I consider coming out to them eventually? (Ik this probably isn’t the best place to post but I rlly need some help)

Obligatory statement that this didn't happen today or last year, but actually many, many years ago. Roll back 2010's my family just got introduced to computers and me being just a silly 10 year old who only had flash games in mind and nothing else didn't really think out certain things. If you remember there was a Picasa 3 app thingy and my family made me the tech head at that time as I helped with uploading pictures to the computer and on some social media sites. Well I remember there being about 5000 photos and videos on that hard drive, I don't think I knew what cloud service even was back then and whether or not I even had it activated. Anyways FF to 2015, I'm 15 and the PC died, and what did my dumbass do at that time? I didn't even think about photos, nor did my family its just something I wish I would've kept, but basically I took the hard drive, opened it as a fun science experiment and later just threw it in the garbage, though it was dead as soo...

So I have a cat. His name is Charlie. He’s playful, energetic, chaotic, and honestly acts like a cracked-out tiger with commitment issues. He flops on my bed every night, belly up, paws in the air, looking all cuddly like he wants affection. I fall for it. I rub his belly. Then he bites me like I just insulted his ancestors. Every. Time. So I started jokingly suplexing him onto the bed or the couch during our play sessions. And I mean gently—I fully support his back, land him on soft surfaces, and only do it when he’s clearly in play mode (like chasing lasers, attacking pillows, or initiating cat jiu-jitsu on me). It became kind of our thing. Weird bonding, but it works. Now here’s where I messed up. We have a second cat named Momo. He’s the total opposite of Charlie—introverted, stoic, basically a loaf with legs. You could pick him up, flip him upside down, and he’d just blink like a sad philosopher. He never reacts to anything. One day, Charlie and Momo were napping together on ...

My husband and I rented a car in Portugal and unfortunately there was minor damage done to the car. Was reversing into a space in a parking garage that had ductwork plastered the same color as the wall. Didn't see it in the mirror or backup camera, and the car sensors didn't sense it either. Left a dent in the back of the wagon. I had waived the CDW insurance as I always do since I have rental car damage reimbursement through Chase Sapphire. I've never had to use it before. When I returned the car I was the damage would be charged to the card I booked with. Well, that was untrue. I was charged $850 to my Southwest card which was my default payment in the Avis app, must have done this a long while ago. I called Avis and they started a claim to have the bill transferred. They emailed me to say that charges due to damages cannot be transferred. So now I'm out $850. TLDR; I will not be reimbursed $850 for not double checking which card was charged for my rental car damage....

This was last weekend and I still feel like absolute trash We were hanging out at my buddy’s place for his birthday. Just a regular chill night with drinks pizza and games. One of our old high school friends came by too, I’ll call him Jake. Hadn’t seen him in a while but it was good to catch up So back in high school Jake’s dad was kinda a running joke. Dude was always bailing on stuff and Jake himself used to clown on him more than any of us. Not a bad guy just super unreliable Anyway we’re sitting around roasting each other like we always do and I go “at least my dad showed up to graduation… unlike Jake’s” thinking it was just a dumb throwback joke And the whole room just goes quiet Jake looks down and goes “yeah he passed away last week” I wanted to disappear. I felt my whole body shut down. I started apologizing immediately and he said it was fine but you could tell it hit him. He dipped early and the mood never really came back after that Texted him the next day and he sai...

My first semester at college I was enrolled at a university, and I did pretty well. Got okay but not bad grades, and then the next semester I moved in with my father and decided to go to a cheaper, community college. It was such a change, and apparently I didn’t get the memo enough. Instead of doing most of the work in class and having the rest as homework, all of the classes I took notes and did everything else at home unless it was exam day. I’ve got a bad attention span, so it was difficult. Also I don’t like asking for help and keep everything to my self so I was suffering in silence. Then, I got a job. I needed the money, but that just added to my problems. Now, instead of doing my homework at night, I went to work 4-5 days out of the week. And it was all just straight downhill from there. I couldn’t get myself to try, I was so burnt out of everything and I ended up failing all of the classes besides one. So now my GPA is a 1.82, which isn’t enough to put me on probation, but ...

To my coworkers: I am so sorry I (24F) am a nursing student and I work with elderly people. During lunch with the residents we were talking about tv-shows. The muppets were brought up and I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out: Manamana Tutuuutududu Pt 1: manamana tutudutu Pt2: manamana Pt3. TUTUUTUDU Pt4: Heheehehe Coworker: looking at me with daggers in her eyes Pt 5&6: manamana Pt3. TUTUUTUDUDU Coworker 2: guys please stop and eat your lunch Pt4: hehehehe After a while they were silent. And then one pt said “manamana” under his breath. The chaos started again Long story short: for the rest of the shift the residents continued to sing the muppet song. Im pretty sure my coworkers are plotting my downfall now TL;DR: sang the muppet song in front of a bunch of elderly people. They kept singing it, to great annoyance of me coworkers

This happened today, and I’m still cringing. I was filming a video for my (very small) channel—just a chill, casual talking video in my bedroom. I had the front camera on selfie mode, everything looked framed properly, the lighting was good, and I was actually kind of proud of how I looked. No big production, just vibes. I hit record, did one solid take, felt pretty good about it, and uploaded it straight away without giving it a full rewatch. It’s a small channel, I figured no one would notice any little imperfections. ...Until someone DM’d me. They were nice about it, but also brutally honest. Turns out there was a giant mirror behind me, perfectly reflecting everything I thought I had cleverly shoved out of the frame. Dirty laundry? Check. A crusty sandwich on a plate? Absolutely. A bra hanging from the back of a chair? Oh yes. I think there was even a sock stuck to the wall—I don’t know how or why. I deleted the video about 40 minutes later, but the views and screenshots had...

I 29M recently started a new medication which was causing bloating and constipation. I went to a clinic nearby and saw a general practitioner and based on my medical history he recommended that I do a stool(poo) test. I’ve never done it before so had no clue how it worked and was a bit embarrassed, prior to my appointment I had to wait at the GP for about forty minutes because of delays I had parked my car a couple of streets away and had only one hour parking so was in a rush to move it. My gut issues were also causing brain fog and anxiety and as a result I made a blunder and did not collect the stool sample kit. I was not even aware that I was supposed to do this and didn’t know what a stool sample kit was. I managed to move my car on time without copping a fine and continued with my day. I made sure that I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables and drank lots of water. The next morning I took a new 2L tupperware container and filled it with poo closed the lid, put the container in...

I lost a customer because of what happened. I'm pretty short fused in my personal life but always try to be professional with customers. Basically I received a call and was mid scheduling with the customer, then my phone's signal completely dropped because that happens for some mysterious reason. Without thinking I screamed "f****** h***" at full volume, I guess thinking I was in the clear to let out some internal steam because the signal was gone and they couldn't hear me. Apparently the call hadn't completely dropped because about 5 seconds later the signal bars came back and then I could hear the customer gasp and say that they were done talking, oops... I had no idea that it's possible for audio to be captured and then transmitted after the signal is restored. This is on Google Voice if anyone is interested, not the phone's native sim number, so that might have something to do with it. TL;DR: I screamed into the phone when I thought someone cou...

Hey guys, today I effed up by investing in a local app that's currently in development. A good friend of mine, let's call him Richard Handpenis, has developed an aggregator for niche collectible valuation that helps ensure cash and collecti le trades are valued fairly. It's very cool, and I'm lucky to have been given an opportunity to be a part of it. He ran into the first of several relatively small, but significant, financial hurdles, and I offered to purchase 10 percent of his company at a starting valuation of 10,000 dollars (1k investment). This should get him past some development and marketing stoppages, and let him bring the app into availability within a week or so - all very exciting, if in a super boring manner. We ran into some issues with cash app that meant my investment had to be broken up into smaller amounts, so after the initial deposit he requested number 2 under "invest 2". He didn't, unfortunately, type invest, and instead put a ...

(TMI warning, puke)I was bored and mid 4 hour study session when I suddenly realised idk how it feels to be choked, don’t know why I wanted to know, I’m simply a stupid fuck. So I put my hands around my neck and start choking myself, felt how you’d expect it to feel, I continued out of curiosity and I start needing to breathe (obviously, what did I think was going to happen?) I don’t let go and suddenly A HUGE water fall of puke just shoots out of my mouth, onto my notes and my WHOLE LAPTOP SCREEN.The contents of my stomach,aka the huge cup of coffee I had recently downed goes all over my laptop, myself and my book, when I tell you, that was the moment I truly realised I lack common sense. That was by far the most embarrassing and shameful thing I’ve done in 2025. TL;DR I choked myself and puked all over my notes and laptop, disgusting and shameful.

I don't mean haha dark humor racist I mean a racist that tries to mask it as a joke so they can speak freely. I can handle a racist joke if it's actually funny and creative but its rare. And the friend shares the class with me. Sorry if I'm rambling I'm so upset right now. 17M, I'm a culinary student, my culinary teacher had over 20 baskets of strawberries left over. Going to be honest, I was having a shit week due to the pressure of college and wanted to make at least one persons day better so, I took one basket with the intention of handing them out at lunch to be nice. As I was handing it out at lunch, got the underclassmen to smile, and It cheered me up. I went over to my “friends” table. I hear him m making awful comments as black people and saying slurs, I will not repeat them here. He was so invested he didn't see me walking up to the table to offer the strawberries to the table. I am black, normally his”jokes” are implied or you fill in the blank. I l...

Hello all. I (21F) moved to a new city for work in January, and since today was one of the first nice days I’ve had off work I decided to finally take a walk around my neighbourhood. I live on a crescent that has a street and court with the same name connected to one end of it, sort of in a J shape, and took an after work walk around the crescent last weekend. This was when I noticed for the first time that the first house number on the crescent was 271 and I was like, “I wonder where houses 1 through 270 are ?”. I figured the house numbers below 271 were probably on the street and court going the other way so I took my walk today as time to confirm this theory and sure enough there was house number 1 at the end of the court, mission accomplished ! As I got to the end of the street (where it turned into the court with the same name), I noticed the sidewalk ended there and to the left was a path. I decided to follow this path and it lead me to the back of a nearby university I pass by...

Okay so this wasn’t today but still a funny story So a few years ago I went on a walk with someone I had recently broken up with. We went to one of our spots to relax and it was nice and dark but enough light to see each other. As we’re talking about regular things he randomly says “You know I love you right?” I immediately think in my head “he means as a friend right there’s no way” well it’s like he read my mind because he immediately said “not as a friend like I REALLY love you” I immediately felt myself freaking out I had never had anyone say those 3 little words to me especially not someone who was no longer my partner. So I’m freaking out and stay silent until he says “Say something I’m freaking out” and all I could do was walk over and say “Aw thank you!” And then I kissed his cheek. (Pretty sure you can hear me facepalm through the screen). After that we walked some more, he walked me home and we said our goodbyes. I immediately called my best friend and told her and she tol...

So, this happened yesterday, and I’m still debating whether to fake my own death or just live in a cave forever. Buckle up, because this is a wild ride. I (28M) work for a mid-sized tech company, and we’ve been remote for a while. Yesterday was our quarterly all-hands meeting on Zoom, with like 200 people, including the CEO, my team, and my super intimidating boss, Karen (not her real name, but she radiates Karen energy). These meetings are usually boring—slides, KPIs, blah blah—but this time, I managed to turn it into a personal nightmare. Context: I’ve been dating my girlfriend, Emma, for two years, and I’ve been planning to propose. Got the ring, practiced the speech, the whole deal. I was dumb enough to keep the ring box on my desk because I’m paranoid about losing it. Big mistake. The meeting starts, and I’m half-listening, muted, camera off, scrolling Reddit (classic). Karen unmutes me out of nowhere to ask about a project I’m leading. I fumble, turn my camera on, and start ramb...

I have been listening to dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen every day on my way to work for the last two weeks. Well I heard a weird squeaks every time I turned at the same spots on my road (winding road). The car stopped making the sounds on the way home but it was still bothering me because it was back on the way to work. I checked the wheel well, power steering fluid, steering tie rod. Everything looked ok. The sound continued over 2 weeks. Well today I was folding laundry and none of my podcasts were doing it for me so I turned on my music and there is was the squeak! Well it turns out the first song has a squeak in the background that was literally driving me crazy. TL:DR listened to the same song every single day on the way to work. A random sound effect in the song made me think something was wrong with my car.