greenmangostudio

Onligatory: This actually happened last summer So before I left for college, my mother bought me to her workplace because she had just stopped being a nurse for a Hospital (her first time ever on shift was just before COVID started. It was a rough 2 years) and she instead took a job at the State Department of Health. When she took me, it was towards the end of the day, and only 1 or 2 people where there, whom she already knew from the interview and onboarding process. Now to give some contaxt, my mother and I look very different. She is short, about 5'4", dark skin then me, 120 pounds and very quiet. I am 6'5", on the lighter side, 250/60 pounds and am quiet as well, but can be not quiet when around people I know. The following summer, I got an internship at a defense contractor (I'm an Engineering Student) l, and it was great because the company I was at put me near the military base, which was only a 15 minute ride from my mom' work. So everyday in the m...

Recently, me (25m) and my girlfriend (27f) of three months have been watching jujutsu kaisen together. I’m an artist and I’ve sold a few pieces before of some anime panels or custom artwork, so I figured I’d give it a try. We’re pretty vanilla in the bedroom, nothing too crazy or kinky. I think it’s obvious where this is going. Jump to two days ago when my girlfriend proposed, out of the blue, that we try roleplaying jujutsu kaisen characters as we do it. I don’t have anything against roleplay, just that I’d never done it before. Last year, in October, our friend group went to Comic-Con all together and we were asked to participate in a group jujutsu kaisen thing, which is where I think our interest stemmed from. My girlfriend asked me to be Gojo, and her Shoko, to wear our cosplays of them from comic-con and make a plot together. I actually felt pretty special because Gojo’s been her ‘crush’ for a while. We came up with the plot that I would be teaching her how to use a cursed techni...

After regaling my story to my husband I thought I’d share with the hopes of making somebody laugh. The mornings in my household are busy. Trying to get myself and my kid organised and out the door on time is not an easy feat. Today was no different after hollering at said child to put his socks on for the 10th time after hearing him fanny about with Alexa upstairs in his room. I quickly get dressed and grab a snack for his bag and off we go. I get to work and sit at my desk. It’s a long bank of computers with my colleagues to the left and right of me. I’m happily being a productive little soul (whilst on Reddit for most of the day) when we are called in for a meeting. Walking to said meeting, I realise that something feels “off” about my left trouser leg. Now, I had vaguely noticed this earlier putting it down to maybe the bottom of my jeans getting stuck under my shoe (I’m 5’2, jeans are always a bit too long) But on walking to said meeting I noticed that the weird feeling against...

I was recently laid off my job at work due to routine reductions in force and the weight and pressure of it all sent me back to devil and I took some shots today to help drown out the helplessness I am feeling. I was sober for three years before this and plan on continuing to be so I can be there for my family. Help me get back on my feet and make sure I don’t make that same mistake as I’m sure there are plenty of people in the community that have had the same battle with addiction as me. My family doesn’t deserve me going back there and I was never tempted before when things were going well. I have fought through numerous stretches of stressful situations that I was able to make it through without problem but something about this is killing me. TL;DR I drank after being sober due to being laid off, give me positive vibes.

This happend just last weekend and I'm still cringing at myself. My sister's wedding, big deal in the family, and I'm supposed to be helping out with like, everything. I'm not the most graceful person, but hey, I was trying. The night before the wedding, we're setting up the venue, and there's this huge, beautiful, three-tier wedding cake. Like, seriously, this thing was a masterpiece. They'd left it on this fancy table right near the dance floor for tomorrow. I was tasked with decorating around the table, adding flowers and stuff, making it all pretty. I'm reaching over to place some flowers on the far side of the table, lost my balance a bit, and yep, you guessed it, I leaned right into the cake. Not just a little nudge, no. Full on, hand and elbow deep into two tiers of this cake. Panic mode... Tried to fix it, but come on, how do you fix a smooshed cake? Ended up having to call the baker at like, midnight, begging for a miracle. They were a champ,...

For context, my co-worker has been with the company for 5 years. I’m 19 and he’s in his mid twenties. He has been gunning for this promotion to cashier supervisor for almost two years now, but management has refused to promote him, as he is one of the few people who know, and are good at working both positions at my job. He is a really nice guy and one of the people I am the closest with at my job, and someone I am proud to call my work friend. However, after seeing him get passed up again when he asked for the promotion in January, I waited until February to ask for the same promotion. I have been with the company for about 6 months now, but I am the only one outside of him who has maintained our position within the company during this time, leading to me and him being the only ones qualified for this role. Even though I’m in college, I really wanted to guaranteed more hours, and the pay increase was just a minor bonus to being able to work more. My boss said he would be completely ...

I’m probably the dumbest college student to ever exist. I feel so stupid right now. I have decent grades (all Bs), but I feel ridiculous. I can’t believe I did something so stupid. So basically, I was working on a group project with a bunch of people at the stroke of midnight, as we're all night owls. The project was due the next day. We had been working on it for a week, and all putting in our best. I ended up working with then over text until about 2AM, then decided I wanted to unwind and keep working on stuff, even though my class was at 11 the next day. As you can tell, I'm not very smart. I ended up staying up until 10AM . So I got absolutely no sleep, and this is the time I usually get up for class (I usually sleep at 12-1). I tried to get up, but physically could not. I felt extremely weak, and started to feel nauseous. I felt like my eyes were burning, and I just started my “girl stuff” (period) and was cramping. I stood up but nearly passed out because I was so weak...

Context: I’m an international student in Toronto who’s struggling to find work as I’ll be graduating in 6 weeks. I was handed a golden ticket by my professor who referred me to a job for which I’m underqualified. I still have an interview scheduled tomorrow but after my mock interviews, I can do nothing but fail to display any emotion whatsoever. I’m struggling to even communicate the basic ideas and I feel that I’ll fuck this golden opportunity handed to me. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently but unfortunately my habit of taking shortcuts has costed me this job. I’ll be unable to provide for my mom, who had sacrificed the world for me, and I know I have time to prepare, I don’t think I’ll be able to unless I spoke this out and vented my emotions. It amazes me that how me, the same guy who got in to a big 4 but rejected that role to continue his studies is now unable to even articulate his basic messages into words. TL;DR: don’t take any opportunity for gran...

long time follower, first time posting This happened last night and I am still very upset about it. Yesterday, I randomly decided to back up the photos on my phone. I thought it would be a good time and I had some photos of my family that I really didnt want to lose. So I plug in my iphone to my pc and try. I had previously imported my husbands photos on my computer by simply right clicking the iphone icon and select import. there I had the option to import and erase. I thought i'd try it again and it would save me the trouble of having to go back and erase the already imported photos so I selected that option. OH WRONG I WAS. After it was finished, i checked my phone and theres still 10,000 photos on it. on my computer there are 4000 photos but most of them are photos I had taken on my old phone and migrated to my iphone. I have no idea what happened but somehow photos and videos taken within the last month are all gone, not on my computer or my phone. and those are only the ph...

I'm 17 and live with my Grandparents and sister (14). My grandparents have really strict rules on technology and they are generally against phones, especially during night time. They keep my phone in their room still. Obviously this is stupid so I got a burner phone ages ago, meaning I keep my phone in my room without their "permission". So here I am at 3 AM still awake, dead silent. Went to the bathroom and pissed and then started scrolling on Tik Tok as you do.Land on some video, "Driving with Boyfriend Car Crash ASMR dying sounds". I turn up the volume a notch and it is just violent screaming and car crash noises, hilarious I know. Suddenly I hear footsteps approaching, but it's too late. Whoever it is, is at the door of the bathroom and is trying to open it (it's locked). I hear them stand still, and I manage to turn the volume on my phone down after literally 2 seconds of screaming. The footsteps walk away. My instinct is this was my Grandpa a...

TIFU bc I ate these laxative chocolates like around 3 pm yesterday, thinking it either wouldn't work or it would work BEFORE i went to bed. Well it kinda worked a little bit before i went to bed, but then i woke up at 6:50 am from my wonderful slumber with a bowel cramping urge to have the shits. Sighhhhhh. Now its like 7:51 am I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL BUT IM SCARED BC MY BOWELS STILL FEEL VERY INSECURE. like I CANNOT TRUST THEM 😭😭😭 anyways.... Hopefully i dont shit my fucking pants today at school 🤞 TL:DR, i took laxatives the night before school. (Thinking they wouldn't work) now im having the shits real bad and im late to school bc of it 🤷‍♀️ I got nothing more to say im just gonna try and meet the 750 requirement ajdjdsnjsnsksnsjdhxuxbsbsjxusbajxkxhdhebsjkabxbxhxhdisjwbxjxixbsbwnxjxixuxbdbdbdnsksuxuxxhdbdbenskosuxudbfbksoazugxbxbdjsozuxhxbeneksjxjcuxbsbzjsiebdjcoxysbenekcuzbwbdkzhabfjxisbebckzhwbxkxisbebxkauebxjxishwbxnxjzhhxuxhdbdbsbsbsbsbsnzjxhdjdjnsbsbsbdhxhxisjwnd...

It was a long time ago, when Zoom meetings were all the rage cuz of the pandemic n stuff. Was working from this tiny apartment, right? And my place is a mess, like clothes everywhere, dishes piling up – the usual "I live alone" chaos. Had this big important meeting with the whole team and some big shots from upstairs. Thought I'd fixed my background to one of those professional-looking office ones. Meeting starts, and I'm there, giving my spiel. Midway, everyone's faces go from interested to trying not to laugh. Confused, I keep going. Turns out, my "professional" background didn't stick, and instead, it's showing my living room with my underwear collection proudly displayed on the couch behind me. My boss texts me to turn off my camera, but the damage was done. Spent the next month as the butt of every joke. TL;DR: Thought I had a professional Zoom background, ended up showing my messy room and underwear to my entire team.

I decided to prank my family 'cause, why not? Bought a fake lottery ticket, the kind that makes you think you've won big. Started off like any other day. Went to my parents' place, gave mom her gifts, and slipped the fake lottery ticket into her card. Thought it'd be a laugh when she'd realize it was a joke. Well, she scratches the ticket and starts screaming. She's won a million pounds! My dad's jumping, my sister's crying, and I'm standing there, realizing this joke went too far. Before I could say anything, my mom's calling relatives, my dad's planning a world tour, and my sister's talking about quitting her job. My phone's blowing up with messages from cousins I haven't spoken to in years, all congratulating me. Finally, I had to tell them it was a fake. Silence. Then chaos. My mom's laughing turned into lecturing, my dad's dreams of a world tour vanished, and my sister... well, she was just relieved she hadn'...

I’m going to be really vague here because I have to gossip about the gossip but my neighbor is cheating on her husband and I left in one too many details in a post. He comes over while her husband’s at work. It was a global Facebook group. If that wasn’t bad enough in the comments I elaborated on her activity and her job. I did NOT name her but clearly I said enough to single her out. Well someone noticed my city and tagged the sister of the husband and I of course didn’t post anonymously. I could understand if it was a local tea group but globally?? And the family member was from the other side of the world. I fucked up because it points to me, she will know it is me and I’m just waiting for her to come to my door and give me an earful. Clearly fleeing the country is my only option. I need a new name. TLDR I outed a cheating wife on a Facebook post with 60,000 members and the family was notified.

Recently I was driving home and saw a turtle walking in the middle of the road. I didn't want him to cause an accident or get run over so I stopped and picked him up to carry him to the grass. He viciously snapped at me and I dropped him, barely avoiding his jaws. I did not realize it was a snapping turtle, or that snapping turtles even lived in the area. Unfortunately, it turns out that snapping turtles can't retract their legs. He landed on one I guess, because it was clearly broken and he couldn't move it as he limped away. He probably got killed by a predator. I feel very bad. At least he didn't get smashed into the pavement I guess. TL;DR I tried to save a snapping turtle from the road and it tried to bite me and I dropped it and broke its leg. The turtle: https://imgur.com/gallery/ZtRUXsO

Just this morning, I had the joy of supervising my so-called professional contractor as he packed up his mess from what was supposed to be my dream kitchen. After my breakup last year, I snagged this little place thinking, "Hey, a bit of DIY and we're golden." Found this contractor through a buddy, who swore this guy was the second coming of Bob Vila. Spoiler: he wasn't. Dude shows up late, citing his bad back or whatever, then suddenly my kitchen needs more work than I thought. "Fire hazards" and "code violations" he says. I'm no expert, so I give him the green light. Projects ballooning, deadlines whooshing by, and my wallet's getting lighter by the minute. Made me a promise that I would be flipping pancakes in no time, especially since my lease on a rental property was about to expire. Time travel to "pancake day," when my kitchen resembles a battlefield. "Just one more week," he remarks. heard that song nonstop f...

I get home from work and am feeling like shit I don't want to shower. This is my first mistake. I change clothes put on some deodorant, because I think that is going to do something about my stinky ass and sweaty feet. I think to myself I want to have a good time, so I eat my last 2, 25mg D9 edibles which to my astonishment don't start to kick in right away. At this point I am about 2 months sober because I could have to test for work shortly (smart move dumbass). So I start my drive and figure I need to stop and pickup some coke for the liquor I brought. (it was more expensive than I remember and that bothered me) I arrive outside this house and grab my stuff I brought walk up to the door and text the host Kyle to ask if someone can let me in. My buddy let's me in. (Note this is the first time in maybe 6 or 8 games I texted Kyle upon arrival so I was already feeling a little strange) Kyle and Eric greeted me (just said hello). For a moment I stop and stare at the small...

I have a friend who for years doesn’t have a great track record with guys and constantly moves onto the next guy without seemingly taking a break, so I asked her if she ever gets tired of talking to all these guys. I explained to her how what she does is valid (and I fully understand that its her choice) but wouldn’t she rather take some time for herself, but it fell on deaf ears. She called me rude (which I can see how it was) and she just said she’d stop talking to me about it if it bothers me and we haven’t spoken since. Seeing some of her other posts online that are just vague enough to maybe be about me (might not be though) it just seems like this whole thing is kinda immature and draining. Not really sure where to go from here or if its worth even trying to mend the friendship. Any suggestions?? TL;DR: asked my friend if she ever got tired of talking to all these guys, she got mad at me for it and we haven’t talked since.

So, this happened just today. My kitchen faucet's been leaking for weeks. I thought, "Hey, I can fix this, no need to spend on a plumber." Found a guide online, looked easy enough. I start messing with the pipes under the sink, feeling all handy. Then, bam, the pipe cracks wide open. Water everywhere. I mean, it's spraying like a fountain, and I'm scrambling to turn off the water main, which, of course, is stuck. Long story short, my kitchen's flooded, and when I finally get a plumber in, he tells me the damage is way worse now. What was a simple sealant job is now a full pipe replacement. Cost me a fortune. TLDR; Tried to fix a leaky faucet myself to save money, ended up breaking a pipe and flooding my kitchen. Cost way more than if I'd just called a plumber.

Now, for the catch. A few years ago, I did something foolish that caused me to twist my ankle—I can't even recall what it was. Since it ached so much and I was having trouble walking, I assumed I had merely sprained it. I just laid back and let it "heal" on its own because I was too poor and stubborn to visit a doctor. I felt like things sort of improved. In the future, I start running in order to lose weight. Ankle begins to scream once more, but I figure, what pain is there, what gain? I persisted in pushing, believing I would somehow fortify it. It strangely seemed to work? I simply grew accustomed to it feeling a little stiff and strange, and the pain stopped bothering me significantly. I thought it was all good, even though it would crack a lot when I moved certain ways. Just figured that's how it was gonna be. Then, the other night, I'm goofing around with friends, not totally sober, and we're playing this dumb game where we're jumping and dodgin...

Okay, so me and my bro were just hanging, right? He tells me to check out this song on his Spotify. I get nosy and start scrolling through his playlists. We had a huge fight last week over me forgetting stuff, and things got loud but we chilled out after. As I'm scrolling, I see playlists that are basically all about the annoying stuff I do, like being loud or messy. Then, boom, I see this playlist about moving on, and it's all songs about new starts and freedom. It hit me, we've been arguing a lot, and he's been hinting at needing space. Now I'm thinking he's over our living situation and maybe wants to bail or kick me out. Haven't talked to him about it, but now I'm all paranoid about where we stand. TL;DR: Went through my brother's Spotify and found out he's probably fed up with me through his music choices. Now I think he might want to move out or wants me gone.

Obligatory “this actually happened a month ago”. My roommate and I like to indulge in mushrooms here and there. A couple days before the college semester started my roommate decided to bring his 4 friends from home up to try mushrooms with us. It’s important to note that 2 of them are semi-experienced trippers and the other 2 are brand new. My roommate and I are still the most experienced out of the bunch, so we each take 2.5 g (forget the strain but it wasn’t PE), and everyone else takes 1.5 g to get the same experience as each other. Our first fuck up was not finding a trip sitter, as me and my roommate didn’t have one our first time and we were fine. So we take the mushrooms and walk to get takeout Chinese for later that night. I ate a hot dog right before that was making me sick to my stomach as I was coming up, and one of the new friends (we’ll call him Sam) was feeling the same. I knew we were in for a ride when I start seeing hieroglyphics only 45 minutes in. I can’t trip wi...

So listen up, guys. Biggest bruh moment of my life just happened. Like, the kinda big where you wanna crawl in a hole and hide forever. I just got off my shif, tired as heck. Just wana come home, shower, and crash. But as I pull up to my house, I see somethign real strange. Lights are on, all over the place, and shadows moving around inside. Now, I live alone. Like, completely solo. No roommates, nothing. So seeing this kinda freaked me out. My mind went to the worst places. Burglars, squatters, maybe even something worse. Heart thumpinh like a drum solo, I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. Told the dispatcher there were intruders in my house. They said they'd send a car right away. While I wait outside, anxiety gnawing at me, a familiar car pulls up. It's Sarah, my best friend. Relief washes over me, but it's short-lived. Two police officers emerge from the car behind her, guns drawn and faces grim. The next few minutes are a blur. Explanations, justifications, all fa...

Like any typical rom-com protagonist, I've had this massive crush on a co-worker for what feels like ages. Valentine's Day was looming, and I thought, "Hey, this is my chance to make a move!" But instead of sticking to the usual cliches like flowers or chocolates, I decided to get creative. Too creative, it turns out. I spent days scouring Pinterest for the perfect DIY romantic gesture. And that's when I stumbled upon the idea of making a personalized love potion. Yeah, you heard that right – a love potion. In my misguided attempt to be charmingly quirky, I concocted this elaborate mixture of herbs, spices, and some questionable ingredients I found in the back of my pantry. Fast forward to Valentine's Day, I nervously presented my crush with the potion, explaining it was a "symbolic gesture" of my affection. But instead of being swept off their feet, my crush looked at me like I'd just handed them a vial of toxic waste. Turns out, one of the ...

So, I'm in desperate need of some self-care, right? And what better way to indulge than with a lavish spa day at home? Armed with Pinterest tutorials and a determination to pamper myself, I decided to transform my humble bathroom into a luxurious oasis of relaxation. I started off with good intentions, lighting scented candles, playing tranquil music, and mixing up some homemade face masks. Everything was going swimmingly until I decided to take things up a notch by attempting a DIY bath bomb recipe I found online. Long story short, I mixed the ingredients together, poured the concoction into the tub, and eagerly awaited the fizzy explosion of relaxation. But instead of a gentle fizz, I was greeted with a volcanic eruption of bubbles that overflowed from the tub and flooded the entire bathroom floor. Frantically trying to contain the sudsy chaos, I slipped and ended up covered head-to-toe in a sticky mess of soap and glitter. Meanwhile, my bathroom resembled a scene from a chee...

When I was a kid, my sister had a raggedy redhead doll she called “Lame Ann” who had a cane. My sister made her talk in a redneck accent and say really stupid things like “I don’t know nothin’ but my own three feet.” As I grew older, I started to hear the phrase “layman’s terms” thrown around, and I never had heard of a “layman” so I thought they were saying “Lame Ann.” I never questioned this belief and my developing brain made sense of it by figuring that Lame Anne must have been a nationally recognized folklore character like Paul Bunyan or Mister Bean. I thought she was a handicapped strawman that we all knew to not be able to grasp difficult concepts because she was too stupid. Well, I’m now a college student who still held that belief until this morning. A month ago I was forced by my own procrastination to write a paper in a single night. The topic was about caricatures that perpetuate harmful beliefs about real people. I took 20mg of adderall and pumped out a paper entitled ...

If you’re in tech, you know this is bad. I got a great role out of university following a placement that has boosted my career already. I feel way out of my depth, but I’m doing my best. I’ve been drinking at work. It started innocent enough - the occasional drink at lunch to soften the stress of my backend dev role. It escalated to taking a hip flask with me to work, along with the diazepam I was prescribed for anxiety. Before leaving work today while deploying some bug fixes, I managed to fucking delete prod. For a massive and highly used SaaS product. Worse, I left. I can’t handle confrontation. This was after hours, and I doubt anybody has even realised yet. I’m on the tube home typing this. I feel like all there is left to do when I get home is drink more. TL;DR I deleted prod server for our SaaS product and just ran away.

Alright, gather 'round folks, because this TIFU is a cringe-worthy tale of technology gone wrong. So, picture this: it's Friday night, I'm feeling the music, and I'm having a solo dance party in my living room. Little did I know, my smart TV had other plans for my dance routine. Unbeknownst to me, I had enabled a feature on my smart TV that automatically live streams whatever is happening in the room to a select group of friends. You can probably guess where this is headed. Midway through my epic dance performance, I hear my phone blowing up with notifications. Confused, I pause my dance moves to check, only to discover a flood of messages from friends asking if I'm okay and what's happening. That's when I notice the little red "LIVE" indicator on my TV screen. In a moment of sheer horror, I realize that my embarrassing dance routine has been broadcasted to all my friends without my consent. Cue the intense embarrassment and frantic scrambling ...

TLDR:My friend tricked me into eating Sugar free Haribo Gummy bears after I beat him in smash bros,I then proceeded to make out with Poseidon So I (14 M) was chilling on the couch with my friend (16 M) and we were playing Smash Bros (I was winning XD) and after I beat him again,he decided to switch characters We were taking the whole time,but then he brought up the Sugar Free Haribo Gummy Bears I thought they sounded interesting and so he sent me a link to them and said that they were great! I wasnt really suspicious(oh what a mistake that would turn out to be) and he knew I was attempting to lose weight recently,and so I purchased them later that day They arrived two weeks later, and I opened them up and decided to taste one. It tasted...FREAKING AMAZING I snacked on the bag for the next day By the end of the day I was almost finished with the bag when my stomach made the sound of a beast trying desperately to escape its prison,as I felt a pain in my stomach,I rushed to the bathroom...

TIFU. i get condoms every time i go to the clinic for std testing/getting my birth control. i think it’s good to keep on hand even tho my bf and i don’t use them very much, like if i screw up my pills on accident, which i’ve done before. anyways, i was gone this morning for a meeting and my bf tidied up my place while i was gone, and he came across a bag that had my emergency contraceptive, birth control box, and the godforsaken condoms. i came home shortly after and on the way home he texted me about it. i was able to catch him before he left and i realized how serious he was about it. i didn’t quite understand why since they were all unopened, so in my mind less suspicious, but he seemed really hurt. he had brought up saturday, which was one of my days off and i wanted to spend some time by myself. on saturday he asked to come over late that night, and i just wasn’t up to seeing anybody. i didn’t feel like tidying up my place or freshening up to see him, i was looking forward to a...

So a little context before I start this story, before yall ask why I have one of my teachers numbers saved in my phone, his name is Mr Alexander or Mr Alex for short and I have him saved in my phone as that. So the reason I have his number is because where I live is kind of rural and my place is at least 45 minutes away and it just so happens that Mr Alex lives around the corner from me. There are no bus stops out my way so he offered my parents to help out and give me a lift to school twice a week when both of my parents arent home. Obviously they agreed, so every wednesday and friday he picks me up at 7am sharp and I sit in the back seat of his car to make it to school by 7:45am. He never let me in the front for some reason. Anyways theres this boy in one of my classes that I have had a crush on for this whole semester, I have said hey to him a few times and I feel like he seems interested in me but hasnt made it entirely obvious to me yet. And yes, you guessed it, his name is Alex...

It's one of those classic mix-ups that leaves you questioning every life choice you've ever made. So, here's the scoop: I've been nursing this massive crush on a coworker for what feels like an eternity. Today, I finally decided to summon the courage and shoot my shot via text. Sounds like a recipe for a rom-com, right? Well, hold onto your hats because it took an unexpected turn. In my flurry of excitement (or maybe nerves), I sent what I thought was a charming and flirty message... to my boss. Yep, you read that right. Instead of wooing my crush with compliments and subtle hints, I inadvertently showered my boss with declarations of their smile lighting up the office and my eager anticipation for tomorrow. As soon as I hit send, it felt like time slowed down, and that sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. There was no going back. I scrambled to send a follow-up apology, desperately trying to explain the mix-up, but the damage was already done. Now, I...

I have been dating a woman for a few weeks, mostly just going out to dinner and a small goodnight kiss. We talk about sex and I mention I have HSV-1, the "cold sore" type of herpes. I'm not here to judge her feelings about it, but she does take the situation very seriously. I didn't realize that anti viral prep medication could be prescribed for HSV-1, I am just learning about all of this. I, for whatever reason, assumed the anti virals were for a breakout or for HSV-2 prep. So, I scheduled an appointment to talk to my doctor tomorrow about beginning an anti viral treatment for my HSV-1. Now, this woman that I really like thinks that I am a monster for not having already addressed my herpes. She's going for an STI test today, I'm hoping she's negative. We didn't even do an open-mouth kiss, so I'm hoping she's negative. I feel so disgusting. I feel like a monster. I legitimately didn't know better, and I'm currently learning more a...

Okay, so my older brothers and I (F) are visiting our grandmother right now. We're staying at her house for a few days because our school went on break. Anyways, my cousin (F) lives with our grandmother and is in college. My cousin, grandmothers, and cousin's boyfriend had to attend a wedding. So, while I was in the living room in the morning, I heard a knock at the door and answered it because I was the only one by the door. It was my cousin's boyfriend, he came to get ready for the wedding. I told him my cousin was in her room, pointing down the hall, but he didn't want to disturb her because she was probably still sleeping, so he just sat on the couch and waited. We were dropped off at our aunt and uncle's house for a few hours and went home at around 6:00 or 7:00. Later, my cousin told me "Oh I got tea about you. You were the one who answered the door for *cousin's boyfriend*?" I'm like, "Uhh, yeah?" And allegedly, I saw him at th...

Two of my closest buddies from college spent the night because we all had an early flight to catch the next morning. Out of consideration for my roommate (we didn’t want him to feel like we were completely dominating the apartment), only one of my buddies slept out in the living room and the other slept in my room on an air-mattress. I woke up slightly before the alarm that he set went off, and when I turned over to see whether he was awake too, I quickly glanced and saw that he was still asleep, lying on his back pitching a tent in his boxers (which, while hilarious, was not at all a big deal to me, so I went about my business). I actually had morning wood too, but to be honest, I felt much less awkward after I noticed his and decided to just get up, start gathering my stuff, and make a dash for the bathroom rather than waiting in bed for it to go down. But as soon as I happened to get out of bed, his alarm went off, which caught me off guard. While reaching for his phone (alarm), I...

Yeah so this is a bit of a predicament im currently in right now. Last night I went out to go grab food after spending the weekend staying in. I smoked some weed with a low tolerance now and had a 6 pack of beer in me at this point. About 15 minutes into walking I realized I couldn’t feel my keys on me. I thought i might have left my door unlocked so i had to go walk back to my apartment. As im going back to my house, i ask the front drsk if theres a spare key for my place and wouldn’t you know it the one key i had on me was my spare. Very smart i know. I had to call a locksmith to come at 8pm and charge me $275. Thats not even covering the replacement that hes gonna do tomorrow. On top of that when i woke up i realized i also dropped my car keys at this point. I walked back on this route i took and i was unable to find my keys. I had to call my parents and let them know. They’re priority shipping a copy of a key to me because i have their car. I paid for it with cash entirely from t...

I (29F) have a cousin (20F). Let's call her Clara. Clara means the world to me, she has been my favourite family member since the day she was born. We've always had a wonderful relationship, have never fought or had mayor disagreements. She is the person I care about most in the whole world and I would get a bullet for her. People in our family say she's mini-me, which is absolutely true. Since she was little, I have given her english lessons, helped her with homework, been there for her when she got bullied, been to all her birthdays, helped her and supported her through thin and thick. I found a job for her and all her friends and a house for the summer so they could come and make some money. I have taken care of her and all her friends while they where here, picking them up and dropping them off at the airport, taking them to the hospital, taking care of them when they got sick, buying them food if they needed the help, driving them places so they could explore a little...

Obligitory, this happened a few years ago. I was a horny college student. I mean sure, puberty and high school were horny times for me, but college was a whole new level. I had freedom to do whatever I want without supervision for the first time - I was going wild with my lack of responsibility. Of course, every night ended with me watching porn and jacking off. It’s as if my body wouldn’t allow sleep until that happened no matter what the situation. Most weekends, instead of staying in my dorm room, I would go stay with my brother who was renting an apartment near campus. We would watch movies and hang out until he goes to sleep, I stay on the couch and do what I do best. Like clockwork, I even bring my favorite type of hand lotion, fire up my favorite site, and go to town. Life was great until that fateful weekend. I went to my brother’s place, we hung out - it was late. He finally went to sleep and I was super tired, but the job wasn’t finished. I reached into my backpack and h...

This is a cautionary tale for anybody who needs a laxative. DO NOT TAKE DUCOLAX. That shit was made by the devil himself. I have IBS-c and hadn’t had a good BM in a bit too long for my comfort. Looking to fix my shit free situation, I went through my medicine cabinet and found Satan’s gallstones, Ducolax. I had taken just one a few days before and it didn’t do anything so I took two. I’m no stranger to laxatives so I knew what I was getting myself into. Or so I thought. Around 3am, I wake up with the most horrific stomach pain of my life. For the next hour it’s me, cold sweats, and the toilet. I had to put strips of toilet paper on my legs because I was so sweaty that my arms were slipping off my thighs and I needed leverage. And what did I get from all this pain? ONE BM. ONE. After I went, I slithered off the toilet and laid on the floor with my shorts around my ankles, wanting to get back into bed but unable to stand because both my legs were asleep and I couldn’t put weight on t...

I've just had a whole week off for holiday. Prior to this week, I planned ahead a lot of things in my mind of what to do during the holiday, and most of it was completing all the deadlines and goals that didn't finish because of my procrastination. Then, somehow, I even procrastinated writing down the deadlines I had and scheduled my week, then ended up doing bs the whole week and missed all the f-ing deadlines now. My level of procrastination has never been this high. Previously, I might procrastinated doing something but I always planned the deadlines ahead of time and managed to do them on time with good results. However, this time, I realized I really f***ed up my life by procrastinating everything. In all those times, I have always known that I was procrastinating too much but I just ignored it and acted irresponsibly just because I got good results in the end, but I hope today will be the last day this happens. I am writing this down hoping I can face how f***ed I am and...

I came back from a trip two weeks ago and was backed up. I had it, so yesterday I drank probably 1.5 cup of prune juice. About an hour got tummy rumbles I went but wasn't a lot. Went to my aunt's up the street and after another hour my stomach started to rumble hard and getting stomach pain. I knew it was coming so I ran for my live home. Luckily make it and destroyed my toilet OMG. I went a couple of more times that day and stoped shitting after another hour and my poor bum burn from the wiping. Had some chicken and rice for dinner since I was starving after all that but scared to eat at the same time. My stomach hasn't stop rumbling all day yesterday and all night to the point that I couldn't sleep for the love of God. Im tired as fuck today but my stomach hasn't stopped rumbling and now im getting mild stomach pain. I shit normal today but a bit. ive taken prune juice before but never lasted this long with pain. TL;DR I Think I fucked up and don't know ho...

So this happened about 8 months ago when my husband was undergoing treatment for colon cancer(He’s doing great on immunotherapy now). We were still deep in it. Strong chemo, surgery. Four months of feeling like you’re constantly falling off a cliff. Then he had a good day. A great day even. He had energy, an appetite, no pain. He comes to my work at lunchtime and we go out to a gourmet deli/shop near me. My favourite deli. We’re shopping, joking, picking out food for lunch and to take home for a special dinner. We go to the cashier, order a sandwich and stand there alone waiting. Posted on the register is a flyer about a rare form of cancer. It referred to it as an “orphan cancer”. One that doesn’t get a ton of research dollars. My husband softly starts joking. “Aww honey. It’s an orphan cancer. We can give it a good home. It will be barely any additional work. Please can we adopt the cancer?” Not looking up from my phone, I respond much too loudly, “No! We have cancer at home!”...

So after an afternoon out , my partner and I arrive home and are sitting in the car talking for a little bit before we were going to head inside. Just as we are getting ready to head in my partner sheepishly tells me, there is someone filming my car.. I look out the window and low and behold there's a slightly elderly woman filming the car, I can tell my partner is uncomfortable and potentially a little scared. So I quickly get out of the car and the woman seems to quickly walk away. I briskly follow and politely ask, excuse me what were you taking a video of. To which she responded "I don't speak english" and brought up a translator app. The translator didn't work well and I ended up opening the camera on my phone and pointing at it to which she understood and she showed me the video. She was just taking a video of the native tree out the front of the house. I felt like such a jerk having confronted her over this, and apologised profusely, and she kept saying...

For context: my wife often answers the phone and puts it on speaker if she's busy and her hands are occupied. So anyway, work so shitty today. Like just awful and all I could think about was wanting to go home to my wife all day. Eventually I just decided to leave work early and I called my wife to inform her of this since she was off today as well. It was supposed to be a rest day for her as she was just getting better from a pretty bad cold so I was confused when I heard a lot of movement going on in the background of the call. When I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making my favorite dinner and when I reminded her that she was supposed to be resting she said something like “I was just thinking of you and I wanted to make you happy”. I was just so caught up in how lovely she is that I didn’t even think before I mumbled something along the lines of "Thank you, baby. You’re so good to me. You gonna sit on my face after dinner so I can thank you properly?...

Obligatory, this didn't happen today but years ago. I just didn't bother to post it. I was in college studying computer science. I don't know much about languages or what most of them even sound like but had to take a language course so I signed up for Spanish. I had a business services class to take as well, not sure why but any way. In that class there was a Chinese girl right next to me. She barely knew any English as I overheard her only speaking in Chinese but she was gorgeous. I didn't know what to even say cause I don't know the language. She had a friend who was translating the class for her. I said "hey" but the translator said she doesn't speak English. Before I said anything back, the professor interrupted and started class. I thought, let me learn that language and impress her. I overheard her friend talking to someone else saying "ohhh nice, I speak Chinese too and multiple languages also!" So I was still in the "grace pe...