greenmangostudio

Age of people involved I-16(M) X-17(F) Y-15 (F) H-16(F) Z-17(M) Around 2 or 3 weeks ago my friend lets name her X had her house all to herself and her sister Y on a weekend. another friend Z wanted to drink so we all agreed and also invited another friend H. I reached X's house around 11:30 in the night. Then we get a call that Z is already drunk at another friend's house (they had plans earlier but he told us he wont drink much). Z had taken the Royal Enfield of X's father who was unaware of that. So I and H went to the place where he was drunk. He wa sleeping on the floor and vomiting constantly. After a lot of work we got him up and took him to X's place. I didnt have much idea about driving an Enfield but I knew some basics so I managed to bring it back. Afterwards we took him to X's bedroom and after vomiting again he slept in the bed. I, H, X and Y sat down to have a drink. We had whiskey (Z had earlier got it). Now I live somewhere where alcohol is banned. ...

for the uninitiated, boofing is when you put a substance up your ass. there are various reasons one might do this, in my case it was to avoid throwing up hand sanitizer, as i had drunk it many times before to that end. now i'm a smart little coookie, i thought i could beat the game. unlike everyone else, i knew the ingredients in this. ethanol and phenoxyethanol. i had boofed 5 squirts diluted in water already, it mildly worked. this time i decided to skip the water so it would be more concentrated, but i'd have to use the hand sanitizer bottle directly as it sticks to the side of any container you move it into. i went for it and got a good amount in my butt. instantly i felt the need to shit but that's what happens when you boof anything so i thought nothing of it. i hold it for 5 minutes then dilute the contents of my colon with water as i assume the gel is too viscous making it more like a solid and harder to hold. this is where it all goes wrong. after about 15 second...

Hi so I (19) live at home with my mother, father and brother (29) (not putting my parents ages because I don't think it's that relevant). I'm taking a gap year and have a girlfriend (22F) who visits my house pretty often. I've gotten some sex toys from her as well as from target when we went there on a shopping date and my dumb ass thought it would be a great hiding spot to put them all in a swimwear bag in my drawer. Now I'm aware that my mom likes to snoop but I never thought she would ACTUALLY OPEN IT to find out about the contents, and this all happened when I was on a tour in Europe with my schoolmates. Me and my friends went to a sex shop there and bought toys back to America and I added that to my swimgear bag. After I got back from Europe and settled in back at home, my mom came into my room, opened my draw and pulled out the bag and sat down on my bed next to me to have a talk with me. Let me tell you my face was so hot from embarrassment I could fry a...

A number of years ago, I was at a red light and a woman texting and driving broke by neck and back in four places when she rear ended me. I'm only alive because I was in my SUV and not on the Harley. (I also can't ride anymore as a result, but whatever.) Since then, I've had horrible back pain. It comes and goes, and is managed with regular massage, a TENS unit and some medication. Sometimes the pain would hit me right in my lower to mid back, but it felt deeper than that. I'd be unable to sit, stand or lie down - everything hurt. I'd be reduced to tears most of the time. I had one at work and had to be taken home in a wheelchair. This happened 3-6 times a year, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night. I'm not sure I can describe how bad these attacks were - it felt like someone beat my lower to mid back with a baseball bat. They were literally debilitating and I would often fall asleep sobbing from the pain. Even the heavy duty opiods the VA had me on l...

I am so dead. My roommate is out of town camping until the end of the weekend and he's going to kill me when he finds out. Ok, so we all know the story with CBAT, no need to go into that. My roommate is out of town for a week, and I have the whole apartment to myself. Four days ago, I (29m) asked my gf (29f) if she would like to enjoy some delicious fun time while blasting CBAT. Her and I are both super weird, and are open to doing this kind of dumb stuff. To no surprise, she laughed and said yes. I just thought it would be funny to experience. To my surprise, it really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. It might be that the love I have for her is so powerful, that it left only about 5% of my brain power focusing on the dolphin sounds in the background. The next day we decided to go at it again, only this time CBAT was a surprise for her. After a few minutes of kissing, I turned on the music and we both started laughing hysterically before getting it on. I even lasted...

Some backstory so you can understand. I dated a girl (let’s call her “J”)a long time ago , me and J were a long distance relationship, long story short it didn’t last , after we broke up , I treated her very badly and I’m ashamed of things I made her do. It’s always in the back in my mind what I’ve done to her even to this day I was horrible person. Fast forward to presents day , I’m currently with the girl of my dreams(let’s call her “Z” ) me and Z have been dating for 5 years , we even have a kid , a baby girl. Words can’t describe how much this little girl means to me. Having a girl , made me realize what I did to J was truthfully awful and not okay what’s so ever, I kept thinking what If someone did the things I did to J, to my little girl. It made me feel guilty beyond I can describe. Ever since , I’ve been trying to say sorry and seek forgiveness to J but she kept blocking me whenever I tried to talk about it, and I completely understand why she. But in the back of mind was alwa...

So today I was feeling really...exited in class so when I was done with classes and was waiting for my friend to finish hers I was in like student room that you go thru when you enter the school. I decided to just sit on my big pencil sharpener (I have no idea why) and that might like help me release some tension. So I did qnd I shifted it from time to time but besides my hand going down I don't think I acted weird, Maybe shifty but that's it. So at some point I look up and there were 2 cameras pointed DIRECTLY at me. My school is preety small so I'm worried that director watches camera videos and I was acting all weird and sitting on sharpeners directly under cameras. Now I want to die and need someone to tell me to stop overthinking🥲 I'm a minor girl don't judge me pls I also think that looked like I smelled the stupid thing but I was just looking at it TL;DR TL ; DR was sitting on stuff to release myself not noticing cameras right above me

Me (16M) finished my normal day of school and was ready to drive home, so I walked out to my car with my gf we sat there, I was originally going to take her home like I have been doing for what feels like the past week which isn't my full responsibility but I do it because why not, I head up to my car and open the trunk, unconsciously I set my keys down on the rubber trunk seal which below the rear windshield there is that black tube of rubber to keep water from getting in your trunk, set my keys on the seal and throw my bag in the trunk,meanwhile I'm too focused on the floor of my trunk because a while ago I thought it would be a great idea to see if this lever works in my trunk for anyone who gets locked in and I sit down and break the floor of it, snapped right in half, so I'm there trying to move it back up and forget about my keys so I go to shut my trunk and I walk over to my door and realized that my keys aren't with me then it hit me, went over to my trunk and ...

So, for reference my partner F27 and I NB29 are on income assistance aka welfare because both of us have bad mental health and can't work because of it. I have severe depression coupled with anxiety and my partner has extreme social anxiety. So neither of us is able to work. To make things easier, we get our monthly benefits split into two cheques; one at the end of the month (usually just over $200) and the other around the middle of the month (around $175) the remainder of our benefits gets paid into our rent for us. My fuck up happened just this morning. I'm already exhausted and not doing well. So, basically, we got our welfare in the bank via direct deposit and so I decided "Ok, I'll pay some of what I owe into my phone bill since its behind and I kinda need it." Harmless. I normally pay into our hydro and our phone bill before we go get groceries. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have done this upon first waking up but I've done this in the past...

I am 23M // boyfriend is 24M // John is 24M sigh frankly, I don’t know why i’m doing this but I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m not really looking to get told im a POS bcus i know i am. I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for about 6 years & frankly, we’re happy & have become such a healthy couple dynamic. Anyways, there is this one guy (let’s call him john) that has been a constant in my life. John & i started out getting to know each other when we were both 14 and he had a GF the entire time so it stayed fairly platonic with me showing obvious feelings towards John. John would lead me on & block me, then unblock me 2 days later to have me come over and “hang out”. i would get petty & threaten to show his gf at the time our texts. Anyways, it was all fairly toxic & i gave up on the idea of him and i dating a long time ago. Whenever john & i would meet up to “hang out” it would always be him insulting me or pushing/hitting me (it was like thi...

First of all, for the younger users among us or anyone who may not be familiar with Cradle of Filth, they’re an extreme metal band who were popular in the 1990s among certain sects of the metal community. Now, let me set the scene. This afternoon I was settling down in my flat here in Swindon, England after a long and exhausting morning spent helping my brother with some painting and decorating at his new house. I decided to put on one of my favourite albums of all time which happens to be by Cradle of Filth. Not feeling like wearing headphones, I decided to instead connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker. With bluetooth successfully connected, I went to Spotify and put on the album. The opening track, a particularly brutal composition of dark, growling, scary, good old fashioned extreme metal, began to play. “Strange” I thought… I noticed the sound seemed to be particularly quiet and muffled in spite of my speaker being turned all the way up. So I ramped the volume on my phone all...

I (25M) have been dating this woman for a few months now, and honestly we get along really well. About a month ago, I met her for dinner one night at a semi-fancy restaurant around 6pm. She arrived a little bit late, and was really apologetic saying "Oh gosh sorry, I probably smell so funky right now, I tried by best to wash and scrub but I know it wasn't enough." She was pretty stinky. She works as an animal caretaker at the zoo and had to stay late that night, so I understood. That night was the first night I really noticed her stinking of animals. It was strong at the same table (something between old fish and a ferret cage, yuck) and rather unappetizing, but not the sort of thing you could smell across the room, so I saw no reason it should ruin the dinner. So I tried to reassure her and said "aw no you don't." She said "Oh don't lie, there's no way I smell ok right now." So I said "I mean I guess there's a slight smell,...

To preface: this happened on Saturday night. I went to DC with some friends to see Zedd, this was my first EDM concert and I had never been to this venue. Days prior to the concert I was looking info on what to expect at this venue, and their website didn’t have a list of what you can and can’t bring. I saw some people saying they were able to bring in vapes, so I thought I could get away with bringing in my dab pen as weed is legal in DC as well. I did hit my pen a few times while waiting to get in, and I tried to hide it deep in my bag under my wallet, my dumbass really thought they wouldn’t look that far. When I had my bag searched I was told I couldn’t bring in the cart but I could keep the battery, so I either had to throw it or take it back to my car. However, I took the metro because driving in DC is scary so I had to throw it. I got that cart last Thursday so I had barely used it, $30 down the drain right there. During the concert I definitely smelled weed so I assume some ...

This actually happened about a month ago, but I needed to recover mentally first. I (24) temporarily moved back home for summer after graduating college. One night I was bored and I went on tinder, I matched with an older guy, (37) but he was pretty good looking and we actually got along well, next day we decide to meet up. I felt like I recognized him from somewhere but it's a fairly small town so I didn't think much of it. We meet up at a local bar, and well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex in the back of his car. I was leaving the next week so I didn't really care what happened. Next day is the only Sunday my mom has had off since ive been there, and she wants us all to go to church. Guess who's doing the sermon that day? He immediately recognized me, and we make awkward eye contact for a second. Then it hits me.. He. Was. My. Youth. Pastor. I hadn't seen him in almost a decade. I have no idea if he knew who I was right away or not, ...

Today I fed up by wanting crisp cinnamon pancakes for breakfast. I woke up and my first thought was cinnamon pancakes. I couldn't find the pre-made mix so I, in my idiocy, decided I would make them from scratch. My recipe called for milk, as it should, but here's where everything goes wrong. I initially thought it looked way too chunky, but oh it's probably because I mixed it wrong, right? It smells weird.. that's because I just need to cook it, right? They won't cook correctly? Oh it's fine! I mean what do I know, I've never done this before. Why did I ignore the signs.. Time skip to 2 consumed pancakes later. I thought they tasted off so my initial thought was I did something wrong, but then I noticed.. the milk had gone bad about a week ago. Kicker? I found the premade mix in the cupboard. I can already feel my stomach doing cartwheels.. I am currently writing this in terror for my bathroom and stomach. TL;DR I wanted pancakes, and ignored all the si...

Obligatory "this wasn't today" start. It was actually a fee weeks ago now. I am a father to 3 kids and a husband to 1 wife. Me and my wife have a young daughter of 3 and I have two boys of 13 and 11 from a previous relationship. Me and my wife have been together for 9 years now and our "bedroom relationship" is as strong as the first day we started dating so I'm quite lucky in that respect i think. We often like to dirty talk in the bedroom and are quite adventurous but we don't talk about sex or anything like that when the kids are around for obvious reasons. Anyway, one night I had picked up the boys from DnD that they participate in once a week. Me and my wife had been discussing a redecoration we'd be doing that weekend and she said she would investigate some stuff and call me later if she finds anything while im out and to discuss what we'd eat that night. So my phone rings while I'm driving all three kids home and because we have a...

TIFU parking my girlfriend's car I'm not quite sure if this is the best place to post it, but I'm feeling guilty enough that it seemed fitting. My girlfriend (25) lives about an hour away in a small town. She was going out of state for the weekend for her friend's bachelorette party and had to use the airport that's only a few minutes away from my apartment. We figured she would just pick me up from my apartment and I would just drive her car back. All was going perfect, I had made her some coffee since she had to drive an hour to be at my place by 5:30AM, I dropped her off, then drove back to my apartment complex. Well about a week ago they had sent out a notice about guest parking and that fines would be handed out to anyone parked in the complex who wasn't a tenant. They specifically said the road in front of the complex was the only area for guests to park. So of course that's exactly what I did, i went out of my way to make sure her car was parked on...

So my daughter (3) is starting to make friends in the new area we've moved to (we've been here about a year, but she's not really been old enough to go out and play on the street yet). They're a great group of kids, and they mostly get on great (minus the usual childhood based tantrums). The one she sees the most is Sarah (name changed, 5). Sarah lives just a couple of doors down, and they are constantly in and out of each others houses. My daughter met a lot of kids on the street through Sarah, so it's been a bountiful friendship for her. Today, a bunch of about 6 of them was playing in our garden. They were doing the usual stuff - playing on the trampoline, playing football, chasing each other etc. Eventually I suggested a game of musical statues (where you dance whole the music plays, and freeze when it stops). Everything was going ok, and I started letting the kids pick their favourite songs to play.  We got the usual fare of Disney song demands , nothing th...

The story starts at a party at my parents’ house. My friends and I are chilling, getting drunk, and smoking weed. All is calm until one of my friends starts retching. We walk him to the bathroom but he doesn’t make it to the toilet and ends up puking in the sink. No big deal, we thought, after spending like 10 minutes cleaning the sink everything seems to be fine. Weeks passed and I’d all but forgotten about this incident. When this took place I lived in a rather hot country, so instead of jerking off in the bathroom (which would get incredibly hot), I’d do it on my bed and wash the splooge off of my hands in the sink. I’d keep doing this for a couple months until I went on a vacation with my family for a week. When I got back, my bathroom emanated this unholy stench that I could not locate the source of. I didn’t think too much of it and used a lot of air freshener and moved on. I also noticed that my sink wasn’t draining properly, and any water in it would take a couple minutes to g...

I walk to work and go home for lunch everyday. Last Monday I was walking home from lunch and took my regular route through a parking lot that backs to a local BBQ place, and is used by many of the restaurant staff. While walking I spotted something shiny and purple on the ground between two cars so I stopped to check it out, and when I reached down to see what it was, I found a small bag with a label saying "Purple Punch" and when I turned it over it was a couple of grams of decent looking bud. Here is where I fucked up - I just put it in my pocket, thinking "ground score" - cool. The parking lot being right next to the BBQ place meant that there was a big smoker pumping out aromatic hickory smoke, so that was all I could smell. Well, I got into the office (I work for a local government at the Government Center) and about 5 mins later start smelling a really strong reek of weed, and thought, "who the fuck smells like weed?" DOH! It was me! Shit! This c...

TIFU by looking through my friend's little brother's google search history ​ I will change the names to maintain the dignity of the people involved, enjoy ;) So, the other day, Me (f), Marco (m) and Katy (f) were talking about google, dark web, creepypastas and etc.. And suddenly i introduced the topic of "weird google searches" and we mentioned the ones we did as a kid. A litte bit of a background, Katy's phone broke and she was using her little brother's (male 11) phone, and I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA of looking up what was he searching for. i was not a good idea. it all started with naruto, meaning of some weird words and minecraft skins or ideas of house building. We started going deeper and deeper to see more and that's when when traumatizes Katy. This little mf was looking for incest. more specifically these "step sister" or just "sister" ones. just a reminder, he's 11. Some of the things we founded were (he doesn't ...

Okay so the thing is, I have a friend group of 9 people amongst whom the protagonist (let's call her R) had been backbitching about the members for a couple of weeks. I have a had a romantic history with one of our group members (let's call her G) and R had helped me recover from the past. But for some reason R developed a feeling of jealousy ever since i started taking to G back again after a span of 3 months and she took things a little out of hand. I had been like a complete pet for R only because of the fact that she helped me and I thought that I owed her. This was where i fucked up and decided to speak up against her. I consequently told a few of my close friends from the group about what R has been saying and ended up talking about this with G. She decided to confront her and things got really out of hand when I called R lame over some comment she made and G and her boyfriend (let's call him H) decided to back me up and took things a little extreme calling R egoist...

So I'm going to keep this short I was going shark diving with scuba gear for my first time ever yesterday because I was afraid of sharks before and I had to train to get over the fear and be ready and not get a panic attack and do anything dumb while swimming with sharks Anyway after we got there and jumped in the water it was really beautiful of course and we just chilled with fish until the first shark came and I was really nervous but eventually I pat it's back and I was comfortable around them I don't think these were great white sharks because they weren't aggressive So after a while and we were bout to head out one of them bad boys comes straight at me I got really scared and didn't know what to do but then I remembered the guy on the boat told us if a shark comes at you just hold its nose and direct it to another direction After I held its nose I was still really scared so I quickly tried to direct it to another direction but accidentally flipped it upsi...

Wee bit embarrassing this one. Today I (16M) was sat at the back of my maths class with my friend Jake in P3, my last lesson before lunch. My teacher, Miss McDonald, is probably the most uninteresting person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. She teaches things in such a boring way that you immediately forget everything she’s said after 10 seconds of her saying it. I’ve referred to her as ‘Mini McDonald’ not because she’s short (which she is), but because she is obsessed with using the whiteboards we have on the back of our planners (that we have to bring to every lesson) One things she’s bad at as well is helping people. If she sees you with your hand up, she will look your way and then do a lap around the class in the opposite direction, stopping off to help people who don’t have their hands up. This was the case today. I had my hand up for at least 10 minutes and she was still nowhere near me, so I decided fuck it I’m just gonna try do my work at the same time. I still kept ...

TIFU by mistaking my vodka bottle for my drink bottle. I (F27) have had a really tough couple of years (as has everyone). This has resulted in me becoming a heavy drinker and I often use drinking to get through my daily life. Recently I have been drinking quite a lot to get through the stress of work and daily surviving. Today, in a rush to get to work I reached for my vodka bottle instead of my drink bottle without thinking. My normal drink bottle is made out of glass and looks pretty similar to a vodka bottle. When I got to work and went to get a drink I pulled out my vodka bottle in front of all my colleagues in the middle of a business meeting. Luckily with quick wit I passed it off as a joke but proceeded to drink the vodka throughout the day (don’t hate me I’m desperate). Despite the honest mistake it made my day so much better. However I think my coworkers weren’t so convinced…. My boss has called me in for a meeting this afternoon. I have no idea if it’s about the vodka bott...

I made a post in r/AmItheAsshole when this first happened but it got taken down so idk if you can still see it. But basically I've (m 21) been friends with a dude (m 19) for 5 years. We'll call this dude A for privacy reasons. Me and A have been close since the day we first met. He's always been there for me and I've always been there for him. We spent the majority of our time together and we've taken showers together (in a totally platonic way, girls do it all the time so shut up lmao). A is schizophrenic and has never been on meds. Because of this he can get a little... interesting. He's told me the most fucked up shit during arguments. Everything from "the world would be better without you" to "i wanna kill your family in front of you", shit's crazy. It's not his fault but it's hard not to let it get to you. I had contemplated leaving for a while but then we'd have good days again and I'd always end up changing my mi...

So I think a few days ago I saw a post on tiktok about this guy on Reddit who made a Cbat reference in class. Now I’m still in 11th grade going to give my last session of O levels this October. I do 5 coaching and most teachers are strict besides my physics teacher. He’s kid back but not a bad teacher yk. Anyways so like 2-3 months back this guy from class got our sir a Spotify account. So he kinda can relax when he’s stressed with work. It’s a big story so won’t tell why. Anyways everyday before our class he asks us random stuff yk like interests or hot tea, most of us are from different schools so it’s fun to know about dramas. We were asked about our fav song today and I joking mentioned cbat cause I was sure no one knew about it.No one did(I think)and my sir liked the song. Now two guys from another school gave me weird looks, after class the guys told me “so you like this huh? Wanna try on Friday to see if it’s good with a 3sum” I was disgusted and told them off in public which t...

Firstly, let me clarify that this did not happen today, but yesterday night. I feel so ashamed and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do as of writing this. I also want to say that English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if the grammar isn’t perfect. I (21F) and my extended family had a family reunion yesterday because we hadn’t seen each other in a long while. I was traveling with my mom (48) and step-brother (14) to meet up with my dad and his father at his apartment. Before I go on any further I should mention that my dad (44) isn’t my biological father, and his dad (my “grandpa”) is quite young (59). My biological father left me when I was very little, and I have no contact with my family on his side. So anyways, everything was going smoothly that evening. We were having a few drinks and laughs, when my mom suddenly felt unwell and had to go lay down. As this was kinda late in the evening, my dad decided to go with her. At this point, there was only me and my grandpa left at t...

And yes I have a tiny dash of proof down on in the post. Long story short, I [25M] have extremely severe bipolar disorder. I have been institutionalized many times for it, to give you an idea of it's severity there was once a time when I was driving my car and I got an extremely energetic urge to drive it into a pole out of sheer rage from thinking of a past event. Today's fuckup started because of a chemical issue I would assume. Last week I had to stop taking Latuda, as it was destroying me. So I switched to Zoloft, and yesterday it started kicking in. One of the common things for these meds for me is that they tend to at first trigger REALLY brutal manic episodes before things get better, which is where today's (Yesterday's) story starts. I was playing a gig at a bar in Portland Oregon with my bandmates, and this really nice looking young (Probably about 18 or 19?) Mexican girl approached me and said she liked our stuff. She had a wedding ring on and she noticed ...

This weekend we met up with some friends, some very old and some new. Little context first, my wife's friend, I have actually known since elementary school, but they only became friends and in high school. We played some games and had some drinks. All was going well when one of the newer friends asked if my wife learned, or heard about me from her friend since we had known each other for so long. That is when I thought it would be funny to blow hot air up everyone's butt and claim that "oh all the girls knew about me in high school." But in reality I only had one solid girlfriend before dating my wife and now we've been together for over a decade. I should have stopped there, while everyone rolled their eyes at me trying to claim I was "talk of the town". But for some reason I decided to also add the detail, a realization I guess, that the only women I did get any luck with all worked together. And I had earned 3 of their numbers, hence here comes the ...

I (21M), had grown up rather skinny and had a love-hate relationship with working out due to Bigorexia; something not often talked about in the fitness community. I go to the gym everyday of the week and have for the past few months. I finally had motivation to continue working out when I realized I only want to go to improve my health and not to get bigger to satisfy others. I go to 2 gyms; gym 1 (private gym) if I want to be able to be loud and not disturb others, and gym 2 (public gym) if there’s equipment gym 1 does not have. I work in the trades and have been trying for months to get in to this union, talking to many people to see what I can do to get in. Today, as I got to the gym 1, I receive an email telling me that I just I missed the intake and I will have to try again in January. This was the straw that broke the camels back, apparently. After struggling to find love, not be able to move out of the family home, and much more, this snapped me. I felt an anger, a fury, run t...

I(14f) just want to start off by saying we have always been a very open family. My mum/mom(36f) sometimes goes through my stuff to find something and I do the same with her wardrobe. Yesterday I came back from my grandparents which I was staying at because my mum went out with her boyfriend that night and stayed at a hotel for her boyfriend’s birthday. Obviously I knew what they were going to do that night so I didn’t disturb them. Today, I was laying in my mums bed ,which I do sometimes and she has no problem with it, because she is putting up my new bed when I decided to clean my ears with cotton buds. My mum keeps them in her wardrobe, normally it is next to her box full of clothes or inside her box full of clothes and other randomly stuff, I couldn’t see it next to the box so I opened the box… BIG MISTAKE! In the box on top of the clothes there was s3x toys (vibrator, dildos,etc). I understand that it’s normal to have these and I’m not saying she shouldn’t, it’s just somethin...

Basically last week I decided to get fun and post me being in a gun section in a hunting store in florida which was last april and say "america" in my swimming team groupchat and jokingly said I have a gun and to prove I was joking I send them a photo of my nerf gun, and I thought they understood as a joke but apparently some didnt and decided to call the cops on me and they came to my house at night and the police said I said I had a gun in snapchat and I proved I didnt, and they told me I have to talk to someone in the main office when i go to school, after the police left, my parents and older sister went yelling at me at what I did. My friends said It wasn't my fault, they are just stupid to take the joke seriously. My Parents were away on vacation at that time so I wasnt really punished severely. On the next day, My parents called me how I should never say that and other things. When I went to school, some lady took me to the office and I had the talk with a man ...

I'm being vague on purpose so I'm sorry in advance So recently my partner and I opened up our relationship, I told a friend about this thinking they're either gonna be a safe first run at this new part of my life or things would be awkward for a little bit but our friendship would be okay. We already talked openly about our relationships and sex lives, why not shoot my shot? Well my friend has a partner so the two of them talked about it. My friend got back to me saying everything was good but there were some rules, that's fine I have rules too. The rules: I could have sex with protection my friend couldn't have sex with me at all. I had to tell my partner everything that happened, when where and most of the details, and my friend told their partner to the degree they were comfortable with sharing. I could be touched with no clothes on and I was only able to touch on them if they had a layer of clothes on but could take their clothes off around me. No catching f...

So yeah this just happened. All because I saw a post on the front page that mentioned there were only ~25 blimps in the world. I genuinely don't even know how the conversation went because I was just mindlessly scrolling and hanging out with my wife, but somewhere between showing her the post and mentioning that the blimp was one of only 25 still in existence in the world, she became convinced that I knew that fact off hand. Around this time, her bullshit senses started tingling, but for the wrong reasons. She thought I was messing with her (which I admittedly do a fair bit of, in good fun of course) so she looked it up and confirmed that there are only ~25 blimps in existence. And hey, I already mentioned how I enjoy messing around with her, so who am I to let this golden goose slip me by? So yeah, I hammed that shit up to see how far I could take it. Made it seem like a totally normal thing -- like yeah, I just really fucking dig blimps dude, idk how it hasn't come up befor...

Okay so I (f,24) met a nice gentleman here on reddit. We met at his place and things went on well, we proceeded to have a good and a fun night. Now here is where I fucked up. Before leaving his place, I continued drinking the alcohol left over from last night. I don't remember leaving his house, getting on the bus, and stopping at a place with a happy hour offer. I remember placing the first order, kinda... I don't even remember getti g of the bus crossing the very busy highway and getting into the pub... I have just found the snaps I took of me trying to chug a whole cocktail (trying cause I can't take cold things fast) Now I go through my mobile banking messages and I can see the transactions I made, the money I borrowed to drink and I left the cocktails at some other guys place. Now this guy was amazing but I have no idea what I did wrong cause he won't text me back TL;DR: TIFU by getting too drunk to realize the mess I was creating. Ended up drinking my whole w...

This happened about a year ago but I feel like I can’t apologise enough. My family doesn’t go on holiday often but in early august last year we managed to go to LA for a week and a half. My little brother Scotty (who is 7 now but would’ve been 6 at the times) was playing in the resort pool with my then 4 year old brother Sammy when my dad told me to get off my ass and into the pool. Scotty and Sammy were in the deep end of the pool wearing arm bands, and because it was the deep end I though ‘fuck it I’m just gonna jump in’. I’m not a clumsy person, I never have been. But I completely messed up my jump. And as I jumped in, my knee flew right into Scotty’s face at full speed. Scotty started to scream, then started crying hysterically. I got him out of the pool as fast as possible but there was some of scotty’s blood floating around in the pool where he was. Long story short, they closed the pool, we had to pay some criminally expensive fees for Scotty’s injuries, I got screamed at by...

First off: I'm not a homophobe and have nothing against gay people or gay porn. It's just that I'm personally straight and prefer women than men. This happened a couple years ago. Usually I like to read erotica and leave the rest to my imagination to jack off rather than watch videos since I'm usually looking for something meaningful to do it to. I'm not going to go into details but that night I was reading a girl's POV on an erotica website where her partner took her camping, how sensually they did the deed with him being in control and how he held her in his arms afterwards and how safe she felt. I'm into that, thinking of myself like that guy who can satisfy the girl like that. Then they do it again and by that point I'm also done with myself. Up until this point, there is no mention of the gender of the writer and I had just assumed it was a girl. Even though I'm done, I keep on reading ahead and in the last 3-4 sentences, the writer finally me...

TIFU, I haven't been myself lately. I got a new job, going to get married soon to my GF for 6.5 years now, I love her with all my heart but I opened pandora's box metaphorically. I have been a built guy since I was 12 but I have been openly feminine at some points of my life and act mostly straight till a very handsome guy comes around at work. I would always joke around about sleeping with him, to him and my GF and they were thinking of it as a joke, But I have been questioning my sensuality before I meet my GF or soon to be wife. I always liked androgynous kinda people. I thought she knew that there was the box was never opened but I told her that I always question it day by day. I decided to play my favorite game on steam called TF2 because I always played it since the FP2 model was out. I finally decided to add someone to my steam friends because irl I don't have many friends even online ones. Me and this new friend in my life start talking and they are kinda like me b...

Long story short, told her I just needed a few days to sleep better (our apartment has a cat, her 2 small children - 4 and 8, which makes it hard to sleep). I anticipated her being very upset by this, as she is very clingy (probably to an unhealthy degree). She proceeds to lose her mind, which has made no sense to anyone I've told this to. I had no intention of breaking up with her, which is what I led with. She threatens me with an ultimatum, that she'll break up with me if I leave at all - which I laugh off as insane (which it was). So I went to visit my parents to do so, and she literally blocked me on all platforms, as soon as I got to the airport. After a 4 hour phone conversation, we reconciled. Then today she pulls the same thing again out of nowhere, when I was supposed to fly back in 3-4 hours. The worst part? There were no warning signs before any of this. I am completely crushed. All because I just wanted to get some sleep. TLDR: Just wanted to sleep, dumped by...

I (25 M) was making a croquembouche AKA cream puff tower for a friend’s potluck. We live in the same apartment building, so I was to bring my dessert downstairs. I had a longer day than I normally do during the week; after 7:30 AM lecture, I went to play tennis for a couple of hours, club meeting at noon, and trained a friend at my gym at 2:00. I didn’t really get to start working on my croquembouche until around 5:00. By this time, I am rushing quite a bit. Eventually at 9:30, I finished gluing all the cream puffs together with hot caramel into a tower and proceeded to move downstairs to the potluck. I was greeted amicably and in amazement from all my friends and hanged out for a bit. I get a frantic call from my roommate saying where the fuck am I and if I forgot something on the stove. Shit. I rushed upstairs and there it was- my pot of sugar turned into a fossil and apartment in post-smoke apocalypse. I felt so bad that I spent six hours today to clean it, but it still has a lot ...

Good morning to everyone who didn't wake up crying their eyes out. So, buckle up cause this one is really weird. I (22m) went on a third date with a girl (24f) last night, and i did something that you usually do maybe after some time into an actual relationship and not after 3 dates. So this girl, let's call her 'k', a really sweet woman, for me it is the first time dating someone that has past experiences in dating and in relation because the relationships i had been on were with girls who this was their first time. The first two dates with her were great! We had a lot in common, we chatted over the phone quite a lot after the dates and last night was the third. We decided to play snooker together and it was really fun for the two of us, but what we really wanted wad just to take each other's clothes off and make out. The vibe was just right. After the snooker we went and got ice cream, and after that, we wanted to find a quiet place just for the two of us. We di...