greenmangostudio

For context, I (25M) was just having a conversation with my Cousins wife (26F), who we'll call Kate, and my cousin (31M), who we'll call Isaac, for New Years morning over at his house. Isaac is a pretty rich guy who gets loads of hazard pay and has a really good salary because he's in the SASR (Australian equivalent of Navy SEALs or Green Berets). ​ We were talking about our jobs, and I was telling them about my latest experiences up at the Iron mines in Tom Price (A mining town in the Pilbara region of Western Australia), as I am a geologist. As I started telling them jokingly about a rumour I heard of me getting a bit of a pay bump (which I doubt is gonna happen, as I am not the most efficient worker to be honest), Kate just cut me off and said "Well, Isaac still is earning more than you." Causing both me and Isaac to look at each other with confusion, but I shrugged and continued, saying "Yeah, he does, but hey, we all gotta start somewhere right?"...

This actually happened last night, but it’s taken me awhile to find the words to describe the horror. Two important details for this story: my husband keeps onions and potatoes in a basket in our laundry room. It has no windows and is cooler, so they tend to last longer. Also, we live in the Midwest and those of you who live in the Midwest know that August brings an abundance of zucchini. Leave your car unlocked? Someone puts zucchini in it. Front porch? Zucchini gets left in a bag. You get the picture. Last night, I go to do a load of laundry. I’m on medicine that makes me dizzy sometimes and of course, a dizzy spell hits. I grab onto a spare chair we keep next to the washing machine, which happens to be where the basket of potatoes and onions sits. When I grabbed the chair, I set it off kilter and knocked the basket sideways. No big deal, right? Except I also knocked over what looked to be a sealed bag of some sort that had slid behind the basket. I had a half second to wonder wha...

This was fuckupped nine years ago. I was 14m, friend 'Cy' was 16m. I thought it would be a brilliant idea to get some shrooms (stole them from a diff friend) and take them together. Cy wasn't sure but I persuaded him it would be good. It was great! We laughed a lot and went for a walk around town blah blah blah and then Cy got spooked I guess? and he ran into the road and got hit by a car. Don't do drugs kids. You know when you're a kid and the adults are always warning you about these things but you KNOW they're just saying that to control you? You know they're exaggerating or even straight up lying. Like it can't be THAT dangerous. It's like when people say you have to make your own mistakes, because sometimes you can't learn from other people's. Or maybe I was just a fucking idiot. He was in the hospital for a long time. I don't actually know much about it because his dad told me to STAY THE HELL AWAY from his son and for the fi...

So here’s the backstory. My dad and mom got divorced during the pandemic for a variety of reasons. He wasn’t a great father to me growing up beyond basically meeting his financial obligations. He was outwardly misogynistic to both my mom and I on a variety of occasions and told both my mom and I that if we got our hair cut short he would respect us less. Well when my mom cut her hair I guess that was the final straw for him. Even though that was the only thing she’s ever done to “wrong” him. Anyhow, it’s been about 2 1/2 years since then. I keep my hair extremely short (mostly to spite him tbh). He always comments on my hair when I see him and makes sure to tell me my boyfriend would prefer it long. I was homeless for a few months a year ago and the only people who helped me through it were my mom and boyfriend. I didn’t want to ask him for money but my boyfriend and mom had bills to pay and I had no where else to turn. I asked him for like $100 and he basically told me I needed to b...

My brother has been feeling low (he has seasonal affective disorder) lately and I wanted to get him a thoughtful gift. Recently I realized that no one in our family has ever taken an interest in his hobbies. So I got him a gift related to his hobby, a three thousand piece puzzle of an image of a bunch of characters he loves. I thought he would love the gift, and he did, but there's one thing I didn't consider. There isn't a surface big enough in my brother's house to do this puzzle, save for one, the floor of the nursery, the one my niece will be living in less than four months from now. He sent me a picture of the floor of the nursery, covered in puzzle pieces. My brother returns to work on Monday, and realistically, between work, chores, baby prep, spending time with his family, he is going to have less than an hour a day to devote to this puzzle. He isn't an avid puzzler. He's got like four pieces put together so far (all edge pieces). Now my brother is st...

TIFU by letting a random person flush a toilet As the headline says, I (39F) let a random person come inside an apartment where I'm watching a friend's cat for the weekend. They (30s male) said they were with maintenance here to check the toilet. It seemed odd, as my friend didn't mention anything and the toilet is working well. I told them the toilet was working fine, and they insisted in coming in to check it, saying they needed to make notes. I said ok, and watched them walk into the hallway, almost walk into the bedroom, what was clearly wrong and redirected them to the bathroom. They flushed the toilet, then said it seems fine and then the left. I texted my friend to let them know what had happened, and they were told by management that there isn't any maintenance staff working today. Now I'm kind of freaking out. I've checked all the doors and windows to make sure they are locked. Had I been at my own place, I wouldn't have answered the door, as I k...

TIFU Over the last few years, after a pretty traumatic event, started to drink heavily. I am not the same person my wife met and fell in love with. I've had the plan to begin my path to an alcohol free life in 2023. But today happened. I had a stressful morning. I had a drink. Then I went to the group I'm participating in to become alcohol free in 2023. The one drink I had this AM, I beat myself up about and went to group for, was the landslide. I was feeling defeated and hopeless. Unbeknownst to her, it was only one...and the group helped me not go for number 2. However, when she got home, she wanted to chat about something…...related to my drinking, last week. I got super defensive and said things I shouldn't have. After 14 years, she's now driving back to our hometown and won't talk to me. Her last text was 'I'm glad you plan to work on yourself, but maybe in a year, the universe and you will be in a better place to be together' Today was the day ...

To preface, I have bad anxiety and have seen people in the past for it. I’ve also just recently left my small regional town for the big city and the loneliness and fear struck today. But today, I decided I’d check out a gym and try it out for the new year. Have a real fitness kick like most do. I checked out a Goodlife nearby and it seemed nice. Went home did more research and signed up. Felt anxious and a bit conscious about money but still ok. I went to check Google maps to figure out the fastest route. Only to find that they half of their ratings are 1 star. I spiral. I try to console myself and be like, most people who like it wouldn’t review it. If I don’t like it after a session I can leave during the trial period. It’s only a grand a year. And on and on and on and on. I start having a fun little anxiety attack. Call my boyfriend, cry a little. I decided to take a small journey to get some knitting supplies as I’m wanting to pick up the hobby. I start feeling better and just s...

This just happened and I need a void to scream into because I am so embarrassed and I feel so stupid lol. I work at a dispensary in a state that it is legal in obviously, and right now is one of the busiest times. As of writing this New Year’s eve literally tomorrow, and you know people are going to be coming to grab their mary jane for the parties and such. It’s been a VERY busy day. I had 5 hours or so of sleep which isn’t too bad for me, but not great either. It’s also been a lot because of all the new product we received, which involved watching videos and taking quizzes so we had all the knowledge we needed to conduct sales. Today I worked from 8:45a-4:45p(keep this in mind) which is what I usually do there because I enjoy having the rest of the day to get errands and make dinner. And at my dispensary we work on a sales floor and call people back so they can view the product and work with an knowledgeable sales person to get the best product for them so they aren’t sent home w...

Had some people messaging me about any Christmas updates since we spent the holidays with them. She pretty much left me alone with her brothers, dad, uncles and male cousins as soon as we got there so I got grilled a bunch. Had an uncle asking me a lot of details about how we met and also my job and the youngest of the three brothers joked really loud “don’t ask him too much because he might tell you things you don’t want to hear” and her dad just shook his head while he laughed his ass off. Uncle was confused but I think that was the scariest moment I had. Had a bunch of wine with them too that I couldn’t refuse and the gf was mortified and pulled me aside and asked me if I said anything stupid when she saw lol. Fortunately I was more ready this time. One of her uncles is very wealthy and got everyone including me a ton of expensive gifts which was super nice I guess. Gf got an insane amount of gifts which seemed crazy to me from everyone in the family too and she said it’s normal...

Throwaway account cause my friends browse my regular account. A little background: Part one: I drove up to my girlfriends house who lives out of state to celebrate her birthday today. Part two: Something we both do before a visit is avoid pleasuring ourselves for the few days prior in order to maximize pleasure with each other. Part three: My girlfriend has been getting really into crocheting recently and decided to make a very large version of the D.Va Tokki logo from Overwatch as a sort of wall mounted decor. She started by drawing the logo on a 4’ x 3’ sheet of paper and is using it as a template for the crocheting itself. Now the fuck up… After a long night with her family celebrating her birthday (and teasing each other all the while) we got home and almost immediately got down to business. As we’re nearing the end she’s on her stomach with me on top and she tells me to finish on her back… let’s just say I underestimated the power off my sploodge. On her ass, her back, her h...

Technically, it happened last night butttt I (21F) matched with someone (26M) on Tinder last night. We started chatting and I thought it'd be nice to meet but I didn't want to meet last night. He kept pushing, and eventually, around 10 p.m., I said whatever cone over, we can watch movies see what happens. The whole night was awkward.. He drank a couple beers he brought with him and I sat on the couch with him but he seemed to nervous to make a move and I was fine with that because after meeting him in person I wasn't that interested. We talked, and it was okay, I kept putting on movies, hoping that he'd sober up and go home.. He never made a move on me really besides the fact that instead of talking to me he asked if I wanted to make out via snapchat even though we were sitting right next to each other and then asked if I wanted to lay down at 3 am when I had gotten off the couch to go to the bathroom then decided to sit on the bean bag after so maybe he'd get t...

i met this guy on hinge and we were texting pretty often for about 2 weeks. he asked me out on a date a few days ago and i agreed. he lives about an hour away from me, so last night asked if he could meet me somewhere half way. he agreed but asked if i could send him gas money but he would pay me back when he got paid. i was running late getting ready so i kinda just sent it without thinking too hard. hes texting me that he left and that he was excited to meet me soon and all this bullshit but as soon as i walk over to the spot we agreed to meet he texted me “i’m at home but thanks for the money!” i called venmo and got the charges disputed but i just feel stupid. i know i’m not actually stupid and he took advantage of my kindness/naivety but i don’t wanna tell anyone cause i feel so embarrassed LMAO tldr: i’ve been talking to this guy who lives an hour away, we agreed to meet halfway but he needed gas money. as soon as i got there he texts me “i’m home but thanks for the $$$!”

I don’t know how to feel, I recently had sex with a trans woman. I met her at the club I saw her dancing and I had no clue she was trans. We started talking and instantly had a connection. Her voice was obviously a bit different but I didn’t ever have the idea that she might have a penis I just let it slide because I didn’t want to sound weird or rude by asking. We talked and danced for a little while and decided to go back to a hotel together. When we were walking into the room she kind of hinted at something by asking if I like women with a little extra too them, not knowing what she meant I just said , “depends what you mean by that haha” and tried to laugh it off. as we were kissing on the bed and we slowly started undressing I realised she was undressing a lot slower then me and started to kiss my abs and lower groin area. She gave me oral sex and then took off her dress. I could notice a little bulge but like I said before I didn’t want to see outlandish by even considering she ...

Me and my partner were hanging out with a friend and their partner, the friends brother, and some kids. The adults were playing games and the kids were sleeping. The friends partner told a story about the in-laws (so my friends parents, who are SUPER fundamentalist Christian) about how they make these really dirty innuendos, but have no idea (like the husband sprayed the wife with the kitchen faucet hose, and she said “you always make me so wet”) and one such comment sounded BDSM-ish, and out of it, friend and partner now have a running inside joke of “is that your safe word? You gotta have a safe word if you’re going to do -thing-.” In response to that, I said “yeah, we don’t really have a safe word… I’m usually not able to talk. So I just tap their shoulder. One for harder, two taps to say STOP. It works pretty well, except that one time I only got one tap in before passing out…” Everyone laughed, which was the goal. Everyone except my partner, who was embarrassed and upset. In...

My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me because I tried taking my own life. He thinks I opted him out when I chose to take my life, I am heartbroken. I have never loved anyone like him and I really saw my future with him. I wish either I never did it or that I succeeded, god why didn’t I succeed? The thing is that I’m not suicidal, I went in a psychosis and truly didn’t remember my life. I really thought I was another person and that my only option was to die. I would NEVER chose ANYTHING over him, he’s my whole world but I made him leave me. I feel like a horrible person for putting him through all this. Literally what should I do? I’ve loved him since the first time I met him, he’s the most wonderful person to ever exist and the prettiest in the world. I really do love him but I destroyed everything, I destroyed my whole life by just one act. TLDR: I tried taking my life and my boyfriend broke up with me

I have been feeling my husband distant and couldn't help but to check his phone, as I was afraid something was wrong and he wasn't telling me to spare me (we have been trying to have kids and I have been feeling pretty low) I ended up checking a conversation of him with a work friend who he had show me. He made her lots of compliments and I thought it was weird but didn't make big of a case. At least I tried for a while. The messages wouldn't leave my thoughts and ended up scrolling further. I discovered he had lied about a work dinner he recently had. He had told me he would leave work at 21 and go to said dinner. I ended up finding he actually had left work at 18 and stayed an hour simply waiting for this friend. This hurted my feelings as he knows I have severe prblmes being alone and he could have come home and return aylt the hour of the dinner. He also made arrangements to give her a ride. He had told me he had given a ride to someone but not her. Even after this...

Hi everyone, Admittedly this is a 4 days ago I fucked up but there’s no sub for that. Also, this is a throwaway as my family/friends know my main and I’m looking to avoid further fucking up. As a bit of backstory there are two points that come into play with this fuck up. TL;DR is at the bottom if you don’t want to read the whole thing. Point 1) I have a big ass for a dude. Not fat (6’1” 215lbs) but I lived in San Fran (lots of hills) for a very long time and walked everywhere (5-7 miles a day) leading to very developed buns of steel. Point 2) my wife is amazing in almost every way but gift giving isn’t one. She tries hard but has a habit of getting the “best version” of something without realizing her version of “best” isn’t universal. Example: for my Bday i asked for running shoes, I showed her 3-4 pairs that I had researched, tried on in store, etc. Instead she “splurged” for designer running shoes because they’re a “better brand” (think Balenziaga or Prada). They look cool and I...

I'm lactose intolerant. Today I wanted a bowl of cereal because I haven't had one for breakfast in a while. I grabbed my milk out of my fridge, which was my first mistake. I don't have milk very much, maybe twive every month, so I don't really remember the taste. While pouring the milk into the bowl I was disgusted at the smell that came out of the milk. Me, not knowing the taste, ate the cereal. After I tasted it I gagged. I thought that maybe my taste buds just changed after 7 months. I thought, "Maybe i didnt like milk anymore?". I am a poor broke college student who works at a McDonald's and a gas station. Because I'm on a tight budget I just finished it to save money. 10 minutes later I'm on the toilet for 2 hours. After i was done in the horror chamber that was the bathroom, i checked the date on the milk. Turns out, the milk was 2 weeks expired. I am shocked that i didnt notice that before. Honesty, I dont care about the budget anymore, I t...

My wife and I are getting back in shape. After our work out today I had a protein shake, large ice coffee, and some water. My wife recently bought a 64 oz big refillable water jug and remarked how it would be difficult to drink the whole thing in a day. I've always been good at chugging, could do a 5 beer trick in college, where I could chug 5 beers in a minute. So i thought 64 oz of water should be easy. Filled the whole thing up and said, "Honey if I can drink this in one swoop you can drink it in a day." I started chugging, she told me to stop, didn't listen and finished the whole thing in less than a minute. 5 mins later started feeling very not right. Was very nauseous and on the verge of passing out. Felt like my brain was swelling and kept feeling like i could drop at any second. Researched over hydration and saw it can be deadly. Luckily my wife is a nurse and started giving me salt. Still felt like something was really wrong and I would have agreed to...

So this wasn’t today, but actually has gone on for many many years. And sorry, this ended up being a super long one. To start, I’ll say that I was in a relationship from age 14-24. That girl was my first everything. I didn’t know anything else. We spent every moment together through high school, college, and after. I missed parties, gatherings, and all opportunities to really make friends. I was engrossed in that relationship. So when I got out of that, I realized how trapped and unhappy I was and I developed some commitment and relationship issues. I also decided to go a little wild with dating apps and met many women. And I had a lot of fun exploring new things. Around 2013 or 2014, I matched with this one girl. I’ll call her Taylor. I never intended much more than fun out of it, but we seemed to click really well. Liked a lot of the same things. I became really excited to meet her… until she ghosted me. But after not too long, we reconnected and started talking again. I had lear...

Edit: A lot of people think this story is fake, which is fine, it is pretty unbelievable. However a certain comment piqued my curiosity and led me to further research when I came upon the realization that I have never actually seen my clitoris. So I must correct myself, I didn't file down my clitoris, thankfully. Apparently, It was the clitoral hood. Either way I believe I need to schedule a gynecologist appointment asap. You're probably wondering "How desperate can someone be?" Well my friend, I am thinking the same thing as I sit here squeezing my legs as tight as possible as an attempt to ease the pain. Let me begin this tale from the very beginning. I recently have become obsessed with the health of my nails, which has resulted in me purchasing nail hardeners, oils, etc. I take great pride in having nails that can grow long very very quickly, however, as someone who is malnutrition they rarely last before they start breaking and splitting. I needed something el...

I feel really guilty atm. I guess I didn’t see this FU coming, but boy, has it bit me in the ass. I’m 30, former Army medic, reserves now. Also certified as an EMT and currently work in emergency medicine. I volunteer at church, mainly helping with the youth groups and doing outdoorsy sh- stuff, because I like it so much. At the beginning of the pandemic, I hurt my back doing a lift by myself and had to take some time off from medicine, at about the time I was needed the most. I felt bad, and also knew that the teenagers I volunteer with were bored, confined, and not happy being stuck at home. So I organized a weekly (outdoor! Safe!) class for them. Started out as properly distanced hikes, then as regulations eased, I started teaching survival skills and medical basics. Been doing that ever since. When the weather’s very bad, we stay inside and teach other life skills (my sister helps). Now one of my best students is gone. I don’t mean dead, I mean literally gone. No one has see...

So this actually happened to me a little while ago, but I was suggested I share it here, and I think y'all will get a few laughs out of it. Hopefully, if anyone else is having this unique issue, it may help them out. My toe is (almost) fully recovered by now, but I don't think I'll ever see my chair the same way again. For context, I'm 23 and have been living on my own (with my girlfriend) for the first time in my life these past 2 years. I'm a little on the larger side, and I work from home as a call center representative. A good while ago, I had bought kind of a cheaper desk chair, as it was all I could really afford at the time. Well, the base where the wheels connect was a bit flimsy, and I noticed it was getting harder to roll around freely over the last year. Aparently, the wheels were starting to bend out of the base, and eventually, one of the wheels popped out entirely. This broke the plastic where the wheel slots into the base and made my chair function...

Obligatory- this happened a few months ago, but I only found out the real disaster today. I went on a girls trip to Spain. Lots of drinking and debauchery but generally ok. One night though far too much to drink. Today I’ve found some pictures of me on websites: 1 riding a mechanical bronco with my t-ts out 2 leaning over the sea wall with my skirt up, wearing a thong,so bare arse on display which is being slapped by a man, friends stood around clapping 3 sat on road looking very drunk, one t-t out of top Face is on display in all Found out because in public place, no right to get pictures removed So embarrassed/ humiliated/ stressed and not sure if it will come back to bite me. TL;DR drank too much on holiday and made total fool of myself which was legally captured on camera and now legitimately on websites

How is that you may ask? I’m a freshman in high school that is currently 32 weeks pregnant and I wanted an abortion but my family would not let me / sign off so I decided to go the adoption route and I already have a perfect family picked for him. I went to the my OBGYN today (because I’m having Braxton hicks and I have pre eclampsia ) so my pregnancy has never been fun or easy, so I try my best to detach from it and focus on negatives when it comes to me changing my mind and wanting to keep my baby . I’ve been dodging viewing my fetus on the ultrasound, but today something came over me and I wanted to just see. Like idk how to explain it but like I knew I was always pregnant but, it just felt more real today.. like there is is actually a whole person in there. Now the Majority of the day I been feeling very sad and not going to lie, but I been having doubts which I shouldn’t because I’m not way ready for a child. I’ve been trying so hard to detach and I’m really nervous of when I gi...

The past 2 days have been sub50 degrees Fahrenheit (sub10 Celsius to save anyone conversion time) in South Florida, which is fairly unusual. I found a green iguana nearly dead at my door; and, I instinctively brought it inside, put it in a large plastic container, warmed it up with a hair dryer, etc until it was basically healthy again. I completely forgot that it’s an invasive species in Florida that’s been causing many problems, so I’m now trying to figure out how to resolve this situation. I want to bring it to the local animal control center to “take care of it” (I’m sure it’ll annoy some people; especially when nature was already going to take care of it). Or I’m considering a bullet to the head or carbon dioxide poisoning (dry ice inside a cooler) since they are considered the most humane (and legal) ways to kill it. Any advice from people with proper experience or even expertise with this situation would be appreciated. The thing’s just chilling next to a jar of warm water wh...

Alright, so this actually happened today, 4 hours ago. I’ve been staying with my in-laws for the holidays and they’ve been such great hosts. Dinners, drinks, movies, games, the whole Christmas nine yards. My wife’s grandma lives on the property in a little guest house and she’s able to come and go as she pleases while still having her own space. It’s great. I’ve been trying to help with things and be of as much assistance as I can but there hasn’t been anything significant I can contribute, other than driving both of their daughters home for the holidays through 12 hours of traffic and snow storms. So, onto the FU, grandma came over and let us know her shower door was jammed and fell fo the track, perfect opportunity. I’m the guy who can fix things, has tools, and the mechanical aptitude to work things. I jumped on the opportunity to fix the door and be the guy who saved grandma’s day. I walked next door and the glass door won’t slide, jammed up pretty good. The rollers at the to...

While I was home alone, I smelled something burning in my room, and obviously freaked out a bit; It turned out to be the only magnetic contact charger of one of the adult toys I own, and since it had obviously somehow broken enough to start melting itself and smoking almost right after I plugged it into an outlet (which had not been a problem before), I decided to throw it away. Problem is, my dad is very peculiar about where to dispose of electric stuff, and my sister has gotten yelled at for throwing another melted cable into the "wrong bin" before. He was coming home soon anyway, so I asked him. He in turn asked me back what that charger was even for. Keep in mind, that man is very good with mechanical stuff in the walls, but has very little knowledge about how most modern devices work. Since I was not about to tell my dad about it being for a sex toy, I ended up evading the question and just continuing to ask where to put it. Meanwhile he kept demanding to know what ...

Like nearly everywhere else in North America, the place where I live was hit hard this weekend with below zero temperatures and really low windchills. My workplace closed early on Thursday and remained closed from Friday to Monday. My apartment was freezing. I spent the entire time in like three layers of sweaters and added several more blankets in bed. I braved hot baths the first couple of days (because at least I could still get hot water and it steamed up the bathroom, but then went for bird baths on Christmas. I went to my parents for most of Christmas and Christmas Eve, but it was just them and my dog and I didn't want to bother them with heating issues anyway. On Sunday night, I looked at my thermostat. It had conked out completely. I tried changing the batteries and the heater sprang back to life. TL;DR I wasted my long weekend wishing for it to end so I wouldn't be so freaking cold in my apartment when all I needed to do was change the batteries on my thermostat. ...

A couple of months ago, Whiles brainstorming various names for a brand i had planned to build, I came up with the placeholder name of CeannCac. This name was only supposed to be a word used for building a website - one to use in titles, product descriptions, etc, and was to be changed later when I came up with an official brand. It was entirely a joke and was never to be seen or known by the general public. I was a self proclaimed ceanncac. Those reading this who are Irish or from Ireland may recognize the translation of this word. "Ceann Cac" is in Irish, and translates directly to "Sh*t Head" in English. This is where my problem lies. Due to issues with deadlines and finances, I never got around to changing this name. Still not seeing an issue with it at the time, i thought it would be interesting to see if this name would pass as i applied for sole proprietorship (for tax reasons) and registered the company name as CeannCac with the Irish government. Unfortuna...

I love him with all my heart and met his huge family for the first time since we started dating 6 months ago. The day began with his father picking Fox News-fueled political fights with me every time my bf left the room. I’d literally be sitting on the sofa and my bf would get up to help with something in the kitchen and his dad would ask for my opinion on something controversial out of the blue (kneeling during football national anthems; the demise of the coal industry; Trump v Biden; you name it). Had to meet about six thousand extended family members who all knew each other and like to argue. Bf made some sexist comments at my expense that made me want to die of cringe. I became acutely aware that aside from myself all the women were busting their asses in the kitchen and the men/boys were doing jack shit and the vibe felt gross. To boot, my own family not only made zero effort to contact me and wish me a merry Christmas but didn’t respond to my texts attempting to do the same. I ...

Obligatory didnt happen today blah blah blah, happened a few days ago but I still cant handle the embarrassment and im using a throwaway. TLDR at the bottom. Honestly, I never thought I would ever have a TIFU worthy submission here, but here we go. I (23F) have just arrived in my boyfriend’s (29M) country after 2 months apart (we’re in an LDR). On my second day here, we decided to have lunch nearby the grocery store we had just shopped at, and we had a cute little pizza date! After spending the day together, and having missed eachother for the past 2 months, we got down and dirty in bed. Side note: we had just purchased a vibrator, some condoms, and some lube earlier in the day. My bf has a huge thing for making me cum, so he fingers me a lot. But recently we started getting into anal... Just to get me used to it he’ll finger my ass a bit, but that night I was really feeling it. I hadn’t used a vibrator in MONTHS so this semi new sensation was intense for me. Now mix that with the...

I'll make this short because I'm still at work, this just happened. I work at a fast food restaurant, and we offer a breakfast meal that comes w pork sausage. That wouldn't usually be a problem, but you see today I had a customer who ate that without knowing the sausage was pork, what's the big deal? The guy was Muslim Bro had full religious garb and everything, I was on the grill so I had no clue I was about to give this man pork I went out into the lobby and saw him eating it, I didn't know what to do so I figured I would want to know if that was me I told asked him how it was and if he liked the pork sausage bro and he looked like he was about to faint Bro I felt so bad Tl:dr: I gave a Muslim guy pork without knowing and sent him straight to hell

TIFU by listening to a conversation about me. I(F20) have been dating J(M21) for 2 years and our relationship is healthy or at least was. J is a great boyfriend, He is very caring, Communicates well, and never did anything that I was uncomfortable with(Needed to be said for context). J is very touchy and I think he likes breasts a bit more than your average person. He always grabbed mine and whenever he had the opportunity to hold them he would, Whether it was while cuddling or other times and I didn't have an issue with it. A couple of weeks ago I spoke to my friends about how he does this and they were questioning it but seemed to have no issue with it until I went to the restroom and on my way back I heard them talking behind my back saying that he is a pervert, Weird, and just seems to be with me for my body. I acted like I heard nothing and went on with my day but as the days went on I started to overthink it and started to slowly be uncomfortable with the idea of my boyfrie...

TIFU by smoking a spliff. Mind you I rarely smoke . I've met with my friend who was smoking a joint. We were to go to a Christmas Lunch for free food (lol). So anyway I hit the Blunt a few times and I got so stoned I actually avoided the lunch because I needed an extra walk. Then, my journey home I've almost collapsed because I split on my brain and I don't know how is that even possible but it was scary for a moment. Later on I moaned in agony and joy as I've felt my ego die. I took a long walk in the rain and eventually I realized I'm family. I'm family of myself and treating myself good is making me happy and it made me smile at myself, since I'm not really in good condition mentally,and it was really heartfelt. TL/DR: TIFU by getting tstoned , I got too high, ended up with an ego death and salvation in the end

We were at a house party of some of our mutual friends, things got out of hand and we started fooling around. Sex wasn't involved but we got pretty close before thinking it wasn't a good idea. We just cuddled and slept. The next day she starts acting a little weird and i feel like she has caught feelings. She has felt this way about me in the past but i wasn't interested and didn't wanna ruin our friendship so we just called it off. I still don't wanna ruin the friendship and I'm still not into her that way, but at the same time I don't wanna hurt her and tell her to go away or smth. After a few days she starts flirting with me on text and i wasn't really flirting back so out of nowhere she sends me nudes. I didn't wanna be rude and disrespect her so I kinda played along but not that much. I'm afraid this is gonna ruin our friendship and most importantly I'm not looking for a relationship rn. TL;DR- Almost hooked up with a friend and now sh...

Well guys I am typing this tear-eyed as I close a 3 year old relationship with someone who I trusted very much. And on Christmas too, it all happened so fast, literally less than 12 hours ago. Having to find out that my girlfriend was in love with another woman, someone who I know albeit little....and that she was experiencing turmoil being with me, but at the same time kept me clueless...because the events that happened today would've happened then and she would have had to move in with her parents, who she despises(my conclusion). Being told she loved me, but just as a friend, fucking hurt, and I was viewed as a friend for more than 6 months at least, while I did my best to support my girlfriend financially and emotionally over the past three years. The worst part is, everyone encouraged her to pursue the relationship with her, while keeping everything from me a secret. Her friends, her sister...nobody thought about me... There's more but I really don't want to type it a...

Laughed at my husband for getting hit by a car This fuck up actually happened a few weeks ago. Long story short, when my husband was a kid, approx. 8? or so years old, he was hit by a car while riding his bike. He had to be airlifted to a hospital. All is good and he is a healthy 31 year old. Well, around Thanksgiving his immediate family had over extended family for a few days. One of those days we had spent the day walking around and bar hopping. He invited his cousin who was in town with his gf. We were drinking at a place I used to GM at, so sometimes they will give us free shots or pour heavy. I got a little toasty and my husband invited his dad to join us. We were all laughing and sharing stories, when his dad brought up how he’s proud of my husband which triggered him to speak about the time my husband almost passed away as a child after being hit by this car. Now I should mention, my husband and I will joke about this situation sometimes. Like if we are walking about I’ll ...

First, thank you for the messages, the responses, and the accusations of this being a Hallmark special. Trust me the last person to play me IRL is Candace Cameron-Burr, or LeAnn Rimes. I assure you, I'm hardly a dainty blonde who swoons at the sight of 'piercing blue eyes' and a 'dazzling white smile'. I actually have black hair, can hardly be called "Dainty", and Jason has brown eyes, but my husband did have green, so if you want to bank on that you're welcome to. This will be difficult to explain, but I hope I can make it easy to understand. My husband and I were basically born to be together. We had known each other from nursery school. I fell in love with him before I even knew what love was, and stayed in love. We got married at 18 and 19. We were planning a future. We had bought a house. We had career goals. We had retirement goals. When I lost him I felt like I lost a lifeline. My time with him wasn't enough. It would never be enough. I h...

This is happening as we speak lol. Ran out of coffee yesterday and completely forgot until I woke up at 3 am this morning. Managed to get the last 2 cups from the bottom of the container, needed a shower (I'm currently getting my ass kicked by autoimmune conditions hence my weird schedule) and wanted more coffee. Well, the gas station is right up the road so I pile my coats on and run out to the car. It's 2 degrees outside, my hair is wet, I'm sicker than a dog, what was I thinking? My car was acting weird but again, it's only 1 minute down the way ,what can go wrong? Well, here I sit at the gas station, my car won't start, it's 2 degrees and the wind is stronger than mine after eating taco bell. I can't feel my fingers, my raynaulds has kicked into high gear and my stoma (feeding tube in my stomach) is acting up. I don't want to call my poor boyfriend at 6am to come save me but I may too lol. All for coffee. Oh and I have severe gastro issues so let...

So I'm a guy and I've been struggling with my sexuality, wondering if I'm bi or gay. I've never done anything with another guy and have always heavily repressed any thoughts, pushed them out of my head. I got to the point almost two weeks ago where I thought "Fuck it, I need to start experimenting to at least know who I am, I don't want to be an old man and not know." So I order a dildo and a couple things online. Now, I live in an apartment with my Mom and this is the first Christmas we're spending without my Dad, who passed away from cancer in the last year. Mom decides that spending Christmas at home with just me like we always did as a family would remind her too much of Dad, because it would just be all the things we normally do...without him. So instead she arranges to go spend Christmas with some friends a few cities over. She offers for me to come too but I say no because I don't know them well and honestly, in the back of my mind I thoug...

So I (30f) planned Christmas Eve boxes for parents (both 66) and my boyfriend (31m). These things have been stressing me tf out. I hand burned (pyrography) individual designs on each box and went out and bough fluffy socks, a puzzle book, an interesting book, some chocolates and some alcohol. My father is notoriously hard to buy for. He has everything he could possibly need, so my partner helped me find the books to put in his box. We went for a small sudoku book and a book called 'Brilliantly Bad' subtitled 'Inventions so bad they're good'. I flicked open, saw a page called 'combined coat and urinal', giggled and told my boyfriend we shouldn't, he similarly flicked to a page and found something equally as benign and said it was fine. Agreed, we purchased the book and it was placed in his box, happily containing it's knowledge until tonight. We all opened our boxes, much oohing and ahhing at the thoughtful books, everyone begins to flick through. ...

* I did post this yesterday but had to delete and make adjustments for legal purpose * I’m only saying it’s Fuck up because I’m in a lot legal trouble for it, but I will be lying if I say I actually regret it. I M18 have a younger sister F14, that is pretty much quiet and shy girl gets straight As and never is really a problem at home pretty much the golden child, if you asked my parents a couple months ago. But to me and my family surprise she has come up pregnant. We were all so very shocked because me personally have never seen my sister interact with any guys plus she’s very much an introvert. We asked her who was the father and she didn’t want to say and that she just wants an abortion and it doesn’t matter. My parents were heavily frustrated that she didn’t want to tell us and tbh so was I, I told my best friends about it and they were also so shocked about. But one of them we shall call him jack( m17) was more concern then anybody and asking list of questions of “ how far as l...

My brother and his wife had a baby two years ago, and due to COVID, I just met her in September and this will be the first Christmas I see my "new" niece. In late November, my brother and his family were at our new house as were getting ready to decorate for Christmas and my niece quickly took a liking to a Santa Claus Troll doll my wife has had since childhood. Basically a Troll doll with a white beard and a Santa suit. She really seemed to love it. When she picked it up I said "It's a Troll doll!" and she quickly imitated saying "Troll! Papa Troll!". Seems like basically anything with white hair, or old men in general are "Papas", to her, which is what she calls my dad, her grandfather. Flash forward to a couple weeks ago and I am talking with my sister-in-law and I ask what I should get my niece for Christmas. She said she was really into the Papa troll, absolutely loved it, wouldn't stop talking about it. So I thought great, I'...