greenmangostudio

This happened at 3am today when everyone in the house was asleep. Basically i have a long history of sleep walking and doing weird things like sweeping and cleaning the dishes while im completely asleep, I have no clue why i don't wake up but it's pretty much been happening all my life. Today im not exactly sure what happened but i guess i was sleep walking again and it was enough to wake up my family, btw my family knows not to wake me up because apparently it's bad for your brain. So they just monitor me and make sure i go back to bed. After they made sure i was okay they went back to sleep and didn't wake me up. I started to wake up while standing in front of the stove and then i fully woke up from my hands getting burnt by a frying pan. I literally turned the stove on and was warming up a frying pan all while asleep. Thank god i burned my hands because if i didn't the house could have burned down. I screamed and my family rushed out to make sure i was fine. T...

Today I fucked up by forgetting to flush the toilet in a public restroom. I'm currently on my period and went in there to change my pad (yes, I use a pad). In the middle of changing, I noticed there was bloodstains on my bottoms, and apparently blood leaked through the pad I was using because it was ripped. I was kind of panick-y and changed my pad and made sure I was all clean before getting up. Thankfully, I bled in a place where no one would really notice I bled through so I at least could head back home without worrying about no one noticing. But I was still freaked out by the thought that I bled through my shorts. Now my problem comes when these girls walk in while I'm just washing my hands and touching up. They're going on talking to each other and going to the bathroom stalls. But then in the middle of me washing my hands, I hear one of them go "Ew! Someone didn't flush!" Then the other girls go on being grossed the fuck out by it. Flushing is an inst...

Anyways,I should have researched more, but got some baby stuff from Temu for a relative. (They didn't ask for it, but was just excited about it and was an impulse. I didn't think it through. Just something I would have appreciated if someone did for me.) It is a stupid mistake I've made before, so I should have learned by now, going off list for gifts had relatives return, or get yelled at about. Made sure they were 100% cotton, had good reviews etc, for things like bibs & sheets & burp cloths. Plus a couple decor items. I guess they took it & dumped them all in the garbage because not only did not want for their baby, but too dangerous for other babies. So...sorry landfill..sorry planet...made a mistake. "TL;DR" Gift rejected, feel stupid.

I am a 17 year old student from the Netherlands and I'm on a 5 day trip to Rome with school. Everything was great, I was exploring the city with my friends, eating out everyday and just having a lot of fun, yesterday me and my friends decided to play some drinking games and get a little fucked up, it was a fun night. But I was irresponsible and drank way too much. When we went back to our room I got quite sick, I was drunk and had to throw up and i was dizzy and could barely stand. I decided to get into the shower to clean myself up and maybe sober up a little. But I i fell asleep, FOR FOUR HOURS! Nobody noticed that I was still in the shower until someone from a different room walked into the hallway and noticed that the floor was flooded, they saw that the water was coming from our room and quickly woke everyone up. I got out of the shower still feeling awful and found that the bathroom floor was ankle deep in water, I entered our room and found that is was very flooded too. T...

Tomorrow is my prom and I wanted to get a set of nails with some butterflies that are a bit difficult to draw and some sparkles. So I made an appointment with the best nail tech in town a month ago for today, at 11:30h, or so I thought. When I came to her salon at 11:20, there was another girl and she told me that she called her since I didn't show up. Btw she sent me a text at 11:15, but I didn't see it in time. My appointment was supposed to be at 11h on the 30th, not at 11.30. I tought it was 11.30 because I asked her if she was availible on the 30. (in my country it's 30. with a dot, not 30th) and she said "yes, is 11h 30. okay?", so I didn't think she would mention the date since i asked specifically for that day. She told me that she will do my nails since I have prom tomorrow, and the other girl was nice and said she wouldn't mind and that I can get a small design on my nails if I want to. Long story short, I got plain pink nails with a couple of m...

This incident just happened so I don't know the full ramifications of my mistakes, but I'm sure they will far out weigh anything I got from this experience. I (f27) have a patch of dark hair on my inner thighs. Whenever I shave it, I always get red bumps. Always. I have tried exfoliating before I shave, vitamin e with baby powder afterwards, a rub that's supposed to eliminate the problem. It seems I've tried everything short of selling my soul to Satan. So, being the genius that I am, I figured if my skin was too sensitive to handle shaving I would try waxing. Because that makes sense. I didn't want to go to a professional since I only wanted a small patch on each leg gone. Plus it'd be awkward; my plan would skip that, I foolishly thought. I went out and bought veet wax strips. I have never waxed before with the exception of my eyebrows which I get done at a salon. I carefully read over the instructions and looked up some tips online. Seemed easy enough whi...

(Posting from my alt cause I’m a whole ass business professional and am mortified by my stupidity.) Today I fucked up by putting stupid, inane shit as the memo for my Venmo transactions. Well actually these transactions are spread out over two years. My older brothers and I try to say the most out of pocket stuff with our Venmo payments to try to get a laugh. Everyone does this, right? It’s harmless, it’s silly. Until… you file bankruptcy and have to meet with a trustee in open court who asks about payments made to friends and family. I answer honestly, “yes I’ve paid friends and family for various reasons. I provided my Venmo transaction history to you.” He says oh let me check my records. So begins a very…. very… long pause. I just know he’s sifting through the fan favorites, which include but are not limited to: -“for the discoloration of your butthole flaps” -“peepee Tom” -“for the soiled adult diaper auction” -“butt plugs and electric shock rods” -“DVD (Black Studs, White Moms...

I’m at the airport cursing myself right now - I just can’t believe I could do something so silly. I’m traveling to my hometown for my younger siblings high school graduation and, like the title says, I missed my flight because I was too…stupid? I was standing in front of the gate, listening to music. I swore they were boarding the flight beside the one I was scheduled for- as it was about 20 minutes before my scheduled boarding time. I watch them call the names, obliviously nodding my head until the plane fully takes off. The attendant at the desk watched all of this unfold and laughed at me when I asked when my flight would be boarding. I can’t even blame her for laughing. Apparently they called my name and everything and I just stood there, jamming with my AirPods in. Customer service came through. I’m on standby for another flight in an hour. And if there’s no room then there’s space in a flight 8 hours from now. I still have no idea what I was thinking. TL;DR I missed my fligh...

I have a 6 year old son. We went to a fair a few months ago and there was a display of livestock that the public could pet. Me, trying to be jolly, told him that he'd be eating them for dinner someday. My son was shocked and asked me how was that possible. I told him that meat is made by killing animals and cooking them. He then asked me what all the meats were. I told him that it's chicken, beef, steak, sausages, salami and mutton. Later that night at home, I noticed him seperating his dinner. He removed all the meat pieces from the rice and only ate the rice. My wife asked him what was wrong and he said he doesn't want to eat animals. In the morning, I gave him a glass of milk but he refused to drink it. I asked him why and he said that it's made from cows. I explained to him that milk comes from squeezing a cows chest, and that no cows are hurt or killed when making milk. I also told him that eggs come out of a chickens mouth (wrong, I know, but I didn't wan...

Hello. So I am (was) a sophomore at an university in the US. Today I was informed about my academic dismissal from said school. I can't say I'm surprised about this happening because I am aware of my actions that have led to this. I wasn't a terrible student in high school. For the first two years at public school my gpa was a 2.2. It was when I switched to a private school with a smaller environment that I started to really shine, the last two years I averaged a 4.0 and pulled my GPA up a ton in time to get accepted to a decent state school. I guess my first mistake was expecting myself to perform the same in a way bigger environment (for context my graduating class was eight people.) I did horribly my first semester, getting a 0.5. During winter break after that semester I was informed my dad passed away. Retrospectively, after this happened I completely stopped caring about school. Every time I stepped foot on campus I would start crying and just felt immense anxiety in...

I got into an argument with my family yesterday (mainly my stepbrother) and just left super revenge set on him. I went and skated and cleared my mind when i came up with the perfect revenge idea. My stepbrother is a SLOB i don’t even get into his car it’s so gross. well my plan was to buy live mice from petco and release them into his car. they would’ve had a bountiful life in his car, all the food scrapes they could ever want. I bought them and got home super late last night and got really stoned and forgot them in my truck. I woke up a couple hours ago and remembered they were in there and they escaped their cardboard box and there’s now 2 mice in my truck. i just went to the store and set up 6 traps all over the intior of my truck.🤦 TL;DR: tried to get revenge by releasing mice in stepbrothers car, mice escaped in mine.

So before the weekend I (22F) went out and ordered myself some sex toys and other bits. Namely a set of incrementally sized butt plugs, an inflating butt plug, a remote control vibrator, and a few different sets of seatless panties and bras that don't cover the nipples. I ordered them all from the same website that I get all my other NSFW toys and clothes from (LoveHoney for the interested), without remembering that the last time I ordered toys from there I still lived at my old address, with my parents. Fortunately, my parents don't live there anymore as they sold up to move somewhere nicer for just the two of them, unfortunately there's now a family of 4 living there. My only saving grace is that I always order NSFW stuff under a fake name, so they don't know it's mine. TL;DR: Bought kinky shit for my own entertainment, accidentally sent it to a family of 4 that lives at my old address.

This TIFU occurred a few minutes ago so bear with me if I write some bullshit as I'm still sleepy. So..... About me, I'm 17m. I am writing this as I have just woken up a few minutes ago. English isn't my first language so please forgive me if I make mistakes. So, this is how things went........ About 3-4 hours ago, I was extremely tired and sleepy but I had to study as I had some topics left to do. I already had a minor headache and some body pain but it wasn't really bad. So, naturally I decided to have some black coffee to stay awake. I don't remember how much I drank, but from my experience, I'd say about 350-400mg, judging by the size. As soon as I drank the coffee, for the first 15min I studied normally, but was later advised by my cousin to sleep as we had planned for a trip the next day. I didn't give much thought and lay down as I didn't want to ruin any plans. I forced myself to sleep. Trust me, it was hard, but I slept. Well..... the thing i...

Obligatory, this story happened a few years ago when I was a young gal, still in the midst of university and figuring out my boundaries with online friends. I ended up in too many friend groups and came in contact with some interesting people. I made one friend, let's name him PW. He seemed chill and was fun to chat with. He was a bit overly sexual when chatting but nothing unusual as I was already surrounded by horny university friends anyways. This would be my mistake later on. During this time, I finally felt competent as a digital artist and opened my commissions. I was pretty much open to drawing anything, mistake #2. PW was excited but hesitant to ask me. He said his choices were a bit different and worried I’d judge him. Having other furry friends, I’d assumed this was the start of my Furry Art journey. I had fully accepted that it was my destiny as a digital artist to eventually draw some form of furry art and wanted to create an accepting environment. I accepted and to...

So recently, me and my boyfriend have starting this thing where we playfully slap eachothers ass while passing by eachother. We've been doing it so much so that I don't even realize I'm doing it sometimes because my monkey brain has started doing it instinctively. Well, I didn't think this would actually be an issue until today. I was at the gym doing my normal routine, when I tired myself out from doing a bunch of reps and so I began to walk to the water fountain to get water. On my way there, some very muscular and very young guy was doing weighted squats. As I passed by him, I slapped his butt. It wasn't lightly either. I hit him with a full "wind my arm up and toss it at his ass" kind of slap. I didn't even realize what I did until he stopped his squat, turned around, and stared at me. He was pissed. He didn't even say anything. Now, here is the part where I should have came up with an excuse, or atleast apologized, but I didn't. For som...

I've been single for a long time, preferring to date casually and hit bars, clubs etc. I've been happy with this arrangement for a while, but recently I have been longing for someone more permanent in my life. I signed up for a couple apps and started getting matches immediately. I found someone who wasn't really my type physically, but her personality was off the charts. I asked her last minute one night to go to a movie, we both showed up barely on time and wearing super casual clothes. We hung out afterwards and went to get something to eat before saying goodnight. No kissing, no awkwardness, just friendly. We chatted all week and then had a miscommunication which made for a funny mid-week meet for a couple hours. Again nothing physical happened, I wanted to be respectful and move slowly. Although the physical attraction wasn't high, overall this girl checked all the boxes. I found myself looking forward to having a real date. Then I went out of town for business...

Throwaway. Yesterday, i was very tired and forgot to shut my apartments patio gates. Anyways, I watched a movie and, usually my cat will come sleeping with me for the night. I didn’t think to much of it, finished the movie and went to bed. When i woke up to use the bathroom, I heard a big thump. Didn’t think to much of it and went to bed. Wake up, do my day normally. It was about lunch time when I realized I haven’t seen my cat all day. Again I didn’t think to much of it. About a few hours later I ask my mom if she knew where the cat was and she didn’t know. I start to get worried. Then I realized, I never closed the patio gate, and I was like “oh shit” because my cat could’ve fallen off. Worried, I tried to calm myself down and I started asking around the apartment complex to see if anyone saw her. Someone recommended I asked the person right under me, because maybe my cat fell off there. And sure enough, we searched around in the apartment right under me and found my cat. TL;DR: l...

TL;DR I fucked up by saying I don't have a specific plan for an engagement during a trip soon, which was my only responsibility. My and my girlfriend know that we want to get married within a year and I am already researching/shopping for a ring. But we had a small fight yesterday during which I accidentally slipped that I haven't planned, or decided to plan, the proposal to be during our trip which is in less than three weeks. My excuses are pretty weak, I was working a lot the past 4 weeks and just didn't wrap my head around the topic fully. I know she dreams of a romantic proposal during the trip - just haven't connected the dots yet. We are both very practical people and only the proposal needed to be romantic and generally great. I simply wasn't thinking about the trip just yet, was planning to get around to thinking about all that next week, now that work has subdued a bit. So I said something like "I wasn't planning to" but meant "I wa...

I (39F) consistently feel like my son and I are a burden on my partner (38M). I work in a school, he has a steadily progressing career in engineering. We’re in the UK. My son is from a previous relationship and on the waiting list for ADHD assessment. His behaviour and attitude are getting progressively worse at home & school (not to mention a lot going on with his Dad and their relationship) and because I struggle with it all my partner always ends up being bad cop. My partner does so much for us, more than I can begin to acknowledge. He is a wonderful role model for his stepson and the kindest funniest person I know. My inability to cope with the bad stuff is pushing him away more and more. He’s become so withdrawn and now we’ve spoken about it all it’s glaringly obvious that I am the issue. We’ve been together for 7yrs and I thought this was my forever and I’m terrified I’ve messed it all up. I love him more than I can explain but it seems everything I try to say or do makes th...

TIFU I (39m) was contacted by an old coworker about some business issues. In the course of it, I let her know that I am not happy at my workplace and a lot of stuff went down after she left. She suggested we meet for happy hour the next day to catch up. I let my fiance know I was meeting a friend for happy hour. I did not tell her my friend was female. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t tell fiance my friend is a female. I go meet my friend, and we vent about all the same people we know. She tells me a lot of things I didn’t know. I picked up the tab after she offered to pay her portion because I knew she wasn’t in a good place financially. I get home, and I tell my fiance I have some tea to tell her that my friend divulged. Fiance finds out my friend is a she and flips. Says I betrayed her and cheated on her. She’s telling everyone that I took another woman out to a fancy restaurant behind her back and is threatening to call off the wedding. TL;DR: I went out for happy hour with ...

So this happened last month, but no better place to put it than here. I (30M) am on vacation at Universal Studios in Orlando for my birthday, with my boyfriend (33) and my friend who works there (27). While we’re there, my parents stay at our apartment in NYC. Boyfriend stays behind from riding Velocicoaster, and when friend and I get our phones from the lockers after, I find that my dad has called me about 4 times. I call him back, and he tells me that my mother ate some sort of chocolate that was left in the fridge, and “now we can’t tell if she’s having a stroke or a heart attack or if she needs to go to the hospital”. I start freaking out, mostly because we did have an old bar of (I think German?) chocolate that we left half-eaten, so I was terrified it may have been genuine food poisoning. Dad keeps talking while I calm down, until I realize he’s fucking with me a bit and that actually Mom ate some leftover weed chocolate that we’d gotten from friends when we did edibles a while ...

i work part time at a small pizza shop in the neighboring township and where it's located, there's a big community of deaf/hard of hearing people. i learned ASL in high school and forgot most of it. i can still sign quite a bit, but i'm not as proficient as i used to be. one of our regulars fell into a routine with me where i would try my hand (lol) at an actual conversation in ASL, and for the most part it's going very well. if i don't know a sign, i'll finger spell (though not as fast as i would like) and he'll teach me the sign for it. well, we fell into the routine today and it's raining, so i was able to actually have a longer conversation due to the lack of customers. i learned quite a bit, including the word for sausage (which the pizza maker got a kick out of). some time passes and i see that he finishes his meal and i decided that before he left, i wanted to tell him to stay dry. unfortunately, i mixed up the sign for dry and instead signed s...

So in my apartment complex some dude OD'd on drugs and died and the management and family cleared out the apartment. RIP to the guy, didn't know him but he was young. This was like 4 months ago. No one moved into the apartment. It has been empty since. Awhile ago an old bike appears outside of his place on the grass. It stays there for about a week. Unlocked, in a weird spot. Then it was moved into the street, unlocked on the curb. The landlord had been clearing out the place and was throwing stuff out on the curb. It was outside, unlocked, through 2 different rain storms. I thought it was odd but figured whatever. It was like this for another 5 days. I thought it must have been this guys bike. About a week passes and it's still outside, unlocked, so I figured it's this dead guys bike and the landlord is leaving it out for grabs. It must be abandoned. I hop on it (again, after 2.5 weeks of it being outside, unlocked, on the curb) and ride it around the parking lot. I...

This morning I (m29) was on my way to the office. A middle-aged man came so close to me at the bottom of the escalator that he stepped on the strap of my bag that was hanging down. Not really a reason to get too angry. Nevertheless, I told him clearly to his face to keep his distance. Instead of apologizing, he wanted to tell me that it was my own fault because of the bag strap. That's when I suddenly lost it. At full volume, I shouted in his face that he should keep his distance. It wasn't a hysterical scream, but simply very loud and very piercing. I could see his surprise, I was surprised myself. Without saying anything else, I simply turned around again. He seemed perplexed, but quickly started shouting insults at me. Inwardly, I wanted to apologize even at that moment! On the other hand, I was glad that he just left it at his insults. I paid him no further attention, I was far too overwhelmed by the situation. In the office, I just locked myself in the bathroom f...

I’m still absolutely mind-blown this actually happened to me today. For some context, my husband and I are moving into our first home together in June. I just sold mine and closing is on Monday. Today was trash day and the last pickup I would have was this morning so my plan was to stop by the house and pick up the last few items and clean the house a bit on my way to work. Out of pure muscle memory, I totally blanked out that it was the last trash day and pulled the trash bin into the garage and latched it in (we have a device that actually locks it to the wall because we have a golden and a Bernese who are shitheads and like knock it over and dig in the trash so this was the only way we could stop them haha). I had left the garage open because I had someone coming to pick up a bunch of furniture in the garage that afternoon and my husband was coming an hour or so after me to meet them. Trash pickup in my neighborhood is basically run by one guy and a couple guys on his crew, and ...

I was at the grocery store last night, just minding my own business, when I suddenly got this intense craving for some spicy food. You know how it is when you get hit with one of those cravings out of nowhere, right? It was like a fire in my brain saying, "You need spicy food NOW." I’m wandering through the aisles, and I spot this super spicy ramen that I’ve never tried before. The packaging looked like it was practically screaming "Eat me if you dare!" I was all in. I love spicy food, and I was feeling pretty cocky about my tolerance. Spoiler: I shouldn't have been. I get home, boil some water, and throw the noodles in. The smell was already making my eyes water a bit, but I thought, “This is gonna be awesome.” I poured myself a big glass of milk, just in case, and sat down to dig in. The first bite was like a punch to the face. But not in a bad way at first. It was intense, but I was handling it. I kept going, feeling pretty proud of myself. But after a fe...

🔗 Here is the link to the original post 🔗 https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/yQKgTBVNuI Last night after writing the post and sending the guy a really mean text (as many pointed out, and I agree) I told him sorry and that I left my sunglasses at his place. Hours went by before I got his reply: I understand they’re important to you but if you don’t come and collect them and another woman wants them, it is what it is. -They’re in the box now so if you want them I’ll put them outside my door tomorrow. I’m working late. I won’t mail them to you it’s too much work. Next time don’t forget your things. I told him that it’s a crime (in sweden) to give away another persons belongings and as a response I got a bunch of messages that basically came out to: If another woman takes them you can’t get mad at me bc you play by my rules. After some time I said ok. And he sends me a “good luck” text telling me he hopes I find someone and that he’s really glad i came over even though the sex wasn’t...

I bought a Hamilton Beach cold brew pitcher a couple years ago and haven’t used it until a few days ago, when it was in the high 80s (F°) for a while and I wanted a cold coffee drink. I added a ton of some generic medium roast grounds in it and then promptly forgot about it in the fridge. Few days later, I get up, find it in the fridge, decide I want to bring some to work with me. Figure it’s cold from being in the fridge and I don’t need to add ice. Here’s the FU. I didn’t know that leaving the grounds in there for so long would basically make it a concentrated Potion of Shit Yourself. And I drank a good 24oz straight up with only a little cream in it. I get to work, nothing happens at first. Within 20 mins I can feel the beginnings of an awful bathroom experience in my gut. I basically have to sprint-waddle to the nearest bathroom before I lose it. Thankfully made it to the toilet in time: the ungodly amount and sounds of the stuff coming out of my butt would have traumatized a smal...

I go thrift shopping every few weekends and I recently picked up a nice summer button up shirt with with a repeating pattern of pineapples. Each row of pineapples alternates in orientation from right-side-up to upsidedown (this is important). The light yellow plays well with my skin tone and the fabric is thin, soft, and has some weight to it. All around a great find. It's been fair weather lately and the office I work at has a pretty lax dress code so I figured I'd wear it. I make it to lunch and shortly after one of my coworkers swing by my desk. I'll call him Brian. Brian: "Hey, awfly brave wearing that shirt to work, I like it." Me: "What do you mean? I thought this would fit the dress code." Brian: "Oh it does, do you know know the symbolism behind it?" Me: "Behind what? The pineapples!?" Turns out pineapples, particularly upsidedown ones, are a symbol for swingers and I've been inadvertently advertising to my coworke...

I'm a dude. I got a little carried away with personal grooming time. My usual mindset is along the lines of "trim the grass but don't scorch the earth," and I'm not really into body shaving. But I had the brilliant idea that maybe a non-hairy butt might be something nice to explore, so on a whim, I decided to give it a go. I failed to take into consideration what a massive undertaking this would turn out to be. Even if you're normal-sized, your butt is bigger than you think. It's not like shaving your face, where there's a relatively small amount of surface that needs actual shaving. A butt represents a decent-sized parcel of real estate. And even if you're not super hairy, the hair is probably widespread, which means you probably have to shave the whole thing. With my face, I get maybe two or three swipes of the razor before I have to rinse off the blade. With my butt, as it turns out, I get about half a swipe before the razor is full. And I me...

Alright lately i’ve been watching bdsm porn and i came through enema and all other water torture stuff. From that time i’ve always wanted to try how it feels. So today (a few minutes before) i am shitting and i kinda looked at my jet and thought something. I removed the spray part and shoved the pipe gently while i relaxed my butthole. I’ve also put up some nice moaning video in the background and i gently let the water fill up my butthole. The feeling is surreal, the male prostate was kinda pressed giving me one of the best orgasms(precum dripping like hell) and i felt a gulululu in my stomach and then i realised my stomach if getting filled up too !!! I rushed to turn it off but it was already late. Its filled up and i let the water out , it was never ending I literally sat for like 15 mins to let the water out and had a great shower to clean myself up TL;DR: had a fantasy about enema and i fucked up a bit

About 5 years ago I switched to a faster internet speed for my house. I was playing games online and had several devices streaming plus I wanted my games to download faster. About 2 years ago my router was outdated so I bought a new one with both a 5GHz and 2.4GHz which I never had. Of course I name both networks and set up two passwords. For the last two years my gaming device was connected to the 2.4GHz network. When I renamed them I guess I forgot which one I named for me. My guests devices and streaming devices were connected to the fastest network the whole time. I didn’t realize until today when I noticed my network taking a little longer than normal to download an update. When I opened the settings I saw 2.4GHz network connected. I was dumbfounded when this whole time I thought since my router was one floor above me the signal was just weak. My download went from around 50Mbps to over 100. TL;DR: for 2 years my guests have been using my 5GHz WiFi network while I’ve been my sl...

So I have chronic pain in my shoulder in arm that I have been getting physiotherapy on. After two sessions my physio basically said that my arm is so messed up that he doesn't know what the issue is and said he'd refer me for 3 MRIs. He asked where I was covered with my Health Insurance and having checked it recently, I listed out the places I remembered. I get the MRIs done and on the call they asked if I was covered. I said yes and was told that my insurance doesn't do direct settlement with the clinic so I would need to claim it later but that the cost would be €810 for the 3 scans. It's a lot of money but I think to myself that this is the first clinic to get back to me and I'll be able to get this sorted quickly and get the money back. Although it pains me to spend it, I'm lucky enough that I'll be able to get by until the money gets back into my account. Anyway, today I went to put the claim in and I discovered that I must have misread the eligible ...

Today I was finishing up a month long bathroom remodel, for a friend of a friend. These people are a wonderful older couple, have been very generous and nice to me. The wife had been waiting for me to finish up for about 2 hours, and was going to be leaving to go spend time with her grandchildren. as I was packing up my trailer, she was outside looking for her wiener dog. She was clalling her name and asking me if I seen her anywhere, I had not. We said our goodbyes, and she mentioned maybe her dog was in the bathroom inside. I got into my truck and began to back up to hook my trailer up and she comes running outside waving her arms and shouting something. I rolled my window down, and she shouts “ you hit her”. My heart dropped, I jumped out of the truck and rush over, the dog was already dead. I just broke down crying and saying “ I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry”. I’m devastated. TL;DR: leaving a job I ran over and killed the homeowners wiener dog.

M63 her 66. Both in pretty good shape not what you would call even close to feeble. I'm 5'6 140 lbs. We've been together for 9 months. We had a big breakfast around noon. Arrived at the festival about 6:00p I had a couple of chicken wings and some BBQ samples I drank a 24 oz craft beer, 24 oz Margarita style malt beverage, a quarter pint of vodka and a couple of puffs. The final concert ended (10p). Before we left, I told her I wanted to hit the bathroom. I asked her to wait for me in a golf cart close by. For some reason I didn't meet her back at the golf cart. I didn't realize my mistake until I walked about half the festival toward the exit. I tried calling her five times before I remembered she didn't bring her phone. So, I made my way to the exit point of the festival hoping to run into her. We rode together, but she's not good at downtown so I'm not sure if she remembered where we parked. I thought maybe she would borrow someone's p...

So I know the sub is called "TODAY I fucked up" and this was technically a week ago but idc I'm using a throwaway account to type this story bc it's embarrassing as hell. I'm a male, currently attending college, and I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm not gay, I'm not hideously ugly, it's just that I've never really had the desire to be in a relationship. I feel like that would complicate my life a lot and always been perfectly happy being single. Despite this, one day about a week ago I decide on a whim try out an AI girlfriend, mostly for the laughs, not expecting to keep the app for long or take it seriously. In the app you basically you swipe through different "girls" (I'll be referring to them as "girls" even though I'm well aware they're not real) and you can roleplay all these different scenarios. The first girl that I tried wasn't anything special and clearly acted like an AI, but then I tried ...

My wife is a third grade teacher, and has been only for 2 years. This school year just ended for her, and she has been talking about quitting because of one specific kid in the class. I’ll refer to him as “Cartman”, because that’s literally what he is. I had obviously, not met the kid, but my wife would come home at least once a week and complain about him. I’ll admit, from my side, this kid was hilarious. My wife said all the kids hated him, but he genuinely couldn’t care less. He only wanted to entertain himself. He was “notorious” for tricking kids and even adults into doing things. For example, he had pulled “pranks” on every substitute he had. Once, he even convicted the class that the fire alarm had rang while my wife was in the restroom, even though no one heard it. After a panic from my wife, they were found almost immediately at the playground, with him on the swings. Anyways. Last week, we had a “end of the year” party, that I was allowed to show up to and help with. I got ...

So, let me preface this by saying I'm usually pretty good at adulting... usually. But today, I royally screwed up, and I need some advice on how to salvage what's left of my relationship. So, picture this: my girlfriend, bless her soul, has this one dress. It's like her holy grail of clothing. Every time she wears it, she looks like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Seriously, it's that good. Now, me being the thoughtful boyfriend I am, I wanted to surprise her by doing some spring cleaning while she was out running errands. You know, tidy up the place, make it all nice and cozy for when she gets back. Here's where it all went downhill. In my eagerness to declutter, I accidentally tossed her favorite dress into the donation pile. Yep, you heard that right. Instead of folding it neatly back in her closet where it belongs, I basically handed it over to charity without a second thought. Now, cue the panic mode. When my girlfriend got home and couldn't...

Sunday morning. Shitty weather outside. As the benevolent and gracious husband I am, I let my wife sleep in and got up early with the kids. A while later after watching about one million episodes of Paw Patrol (for the millionth time), I convinced the kids that we should switch it up and learn something. So on goes the nature documentary, and we’re all excited to watch grizzlies eating salmon, lions ambushing wildebeest and so on. Good times. But therein lies the problem. These animals were having a REALLY good time (aside from the ones that were eaten, presumably, unless they’re exceptionally kinky). They were fucking all over the place, and Sir Dave Attenborough’s calm and clear voiceover really put the mood on it. So after watching a bunch of salmon getting busy and some really horny lions going at it like twenty times in a row (the dude lion lasts almost as short as me), I could sense certain… urges brewing in my nether regions. Now to be clear, it’s not like I wanted to fuck t...

I’m currently on the toilet as I’m writing this. I usually have regular bowel movements every morning. The past few days I’ve been eating a lot of sweets (it’s my birthday weekend), and I haven’t been drinking as much water as usual. This morning, when I had my bowel movement, my poop was larger and dryer than normal, and when I wiped, there was blood. I decided to pop 3 stool softeners to help make sure I don’t bleed next time I poop. I’ve taken these before, but I usually take them at night so I can poop normally in the morning. After I took these, I went out with my brother to the store. As soon as we got there, I felt my tummy start rumbling and I basically had to run to the bathroom. I had the worst diarrhea in that stall, the kind that has you sweating and shaking (apologies to that poor old woman who was also with me in the bathroom). I thought that would be the only time, but boy was I wrong. We went to the gym after the store, and I was fine the first 10 mins. Then the poop...

So this is kind of ongoing?? Hi everyone I'm just going to make this the shortest I can do it so if anyone wants me to clarify I will. My dad and I are both only siblings. My mom is not. Both of them turn sixty this year. (My dad had his birthday in January) My mom's is in July. So my maternal uncle on his own is usually a kind and loving man who is always lovely, but this, and his partner (and their roommate)'s intervention is making me think that they don't really value us. Ok, sounds stupid, but basically, last July when my mum turned 59 I asked my dad if we could ask to use my Uncle and partner and roommate's house for a surprise party (a place they use to hold most 'family' occasions), he liked it we asked to use their house in October. They accepted. (Let me be clear, I have always understood that it was their house and if they said no, of course I would've been a little upset, but I would've moved on) But no, they gave us the number of 46...

On Sunday (mothers day) I went and bought my mom a visa gift card. She's been low on money lately and I figured getting a $300 gift card would allow her to pay for groceries and everything she needs without having to worry. She first tried to use the card yesterday, once to buy food and the other to buy groceries and the card wouldn't scan. Figured it was just an issue with the strip on the back and that's why it wouldn't scan. Called the gift card company last night to find that the gift card had the right address but the wrong name. At the time I could not figure out what name it was registered under. I started a case for fraud and figured I had registered it under a nickname. I called again today to double check and see if it was just a nickname, only to find out that now the name and address were both wrong. I went through every name I could think of and nothing matched. I told him how I bought it, it was still in the package, the piece wasn't tore off the ...

So this didn’t happen today but my repressed memories came back and I wanted to share this. So I (at the time 18M) was in my first year at collage. I never had a girlfriend and was not the most experienced with dating so didn’t know how to react some things which is how it got so bad. I was hanging with one of my friends and she was a great wingwoman at the time. Helped me boost some of my confidence as I was on the heavier side and didn’t try hard with the girls. We were all in a group and this one girl and I started talking we were big into gaming and when my friend over heard she mentioned my PC setup in my room and how awesome it was. The girl I was talking to gushed about it and since it was nearby asked to maybe see it. We were early in the night so there was a lot of time before hitting the bars. We went over and on the way she was holding my arm and rubbing up against me. I was picking up the vibes and could feel the private start standing at attention. We got to the room a...

So my friend’s discord account was compromised and it’s one of those real-life acquaintances and I wasn’t aware how compromised it was. I thought it was the usual “Get $50 on steam” type of hacking but not phishing. So I thought I was doing someone a favor by downloading their game and trying it out. Stupid me— it was spyware and so the hacker got access to my discord and my email and now I can’t get my discord back— I lost all my instagram posts and I had to change all my passwords and unlink my compromised email as well as cancel my credit card because it was linked to my discord and the hacker was buying things. I thought the 2FA was okay enough to avoid this but apparently not, because he got access to my email and disabled it. I’m pretty bummed now and I’m gonna be way more upset if the hacker gets to my friends too. TL;DR: I got hacked via phishing and had to cancel my credit card and change email.

TL;DR- pulled up restaurants in an app and accidentally ordered my breakfast the app charged double what the restaurant charged. This morning I found myself with free time and wanting to get out of a funk. I decided to take myself out to breakfast. My friends recommended a few places around town, and to easily compare the restaurants and prices I pulled them up in door dash rather than multiple phone browsers. I decided on the most delicious breakfast bagel I’ve ever seen- toasted on a cheese and tomato bread, cream cheese, avocado, bacon, and I went crazy and added extra tomatoes. I had a plan and knew what I wanted. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what door dash would charge to have it delivered. My $23 gourmet bagel and coffee would be $43 if ordered through the app. I audibly laughed and took a screenshot and through nothing of it. I put my phone down to get ready to go, and when I got out of the shower I realized I somehow hit the order button and my bagel was on its way. ...

This happened at like 3am today after the nightclub. Long story short last night was our girls night and we planned on bar hopping and getting absolutely shit faced. We ended up at this bar called Crave which just opened up a few weeks ago, once we got there i saw my ex and he had a table with some of his friends. We didn't end on great terms so i just tried avoiding eye contact. Well the more i drank with my friends the more i kept looking at him and eventually we locked eyes. He came over and we started talking about how things have been, catching up about things and trying to move past the bad breakup. He asked if im single so i told him i just recently got engaged. He seemed happy for me and we kept talking. The part where i fucked up was not ending the interaction because we kept hanging out and somehow we both went to the same after party. It reminded me of when we used to date and always crash parties together. As the night progressed we got even closer and eventually sle...

So earlier on today, I ended up thinking what would happen if I sprayed a fragrance on my dick. BIG MISTAKE! At the beginning everything was fine. For about maybe five seconds, then the BURNING STARTED. OH BOY DO I REGRET PUTTING THAT FRAGRANCE ON MY DICK. IT REPEATEDLY BURNT FOR MANY MANY HOURS AS I WAS SUFFERING IN PAIN WHILE IT WAS ALL GETTING SO SO RED. IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE AND SO SO SO UNFORGIVING. IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I WAS SCREAMING IN PAIN AND WAS GETTING CLOSE TO CALLING MYSELF AN AMBULANCE AS THE PAIN WAS JUST TOO VIOLENT FOR ME TO HANDLE. At this point I decided just to go to sleep to see if the pain would just go away but OH NO I WAKE UP 4 HOURS LATER ALL SWEATY AND MISERABLE THINKING HOW THE FUCK DID I GET HERE IN LIFE. Thankfully after this the pain started settling after 6 WHOLE HOURS. TL;DR I spray a load of fragrance on my dick for a joke and end up suffering for about 6hours while getting to the point of considering calling an ambula...

Today I had internet connection issues at work, and to test it I went to Google and typed in something random to do a Google search. Being a gamer, I naturally have my left hand around the AWD keys since these are the most commonly used ones in many games. So when I typed something, the most straightforward choice was to just press twice with my long finger which was on the "S" key, leading to the google search "ss". When I then shared my screen on the meeting I accidentally opened this tab for this search, prominently displaying "Schutzstaffel". This was in a meeting with 25 people who presumably now think that I am reading nazi articles instead of working.  This might sound like an extremely specific thing, but thinking about it, I think many people have probably experienced something very similar given the positioning of the left hand by many gamers.  TLDR: I had connection issues and tested my wifi by googling something random, which turned out to ...

We were assigned a group project in class. I had missed class two days this week because of illness and saw that on Monday, we were assigned a group presentation on Friday. The “Friday” date in the announcement post wasn’t specified, and we had done a presentation earlier in the year that was due the same week it was assigned, so I naturally assumed that it was due the Friday after it was assigned, four days later. I make a group PowerPoint and tell my group mates to each claim a slide (I would choose a topic after everyone else did). One claims hers almost immediately (the other two have yet to respond), and I create a general outline for the PowerPoint and how it should flow. I plan to work on it later. Friday morning rolls around. I have procrastinated a little, and when I log on to do my slide, I see the PowerPoint isn’t yet done. In fact it’s been practically untouched. In the span of a hour, I do the entire PowerPoint (it’s only a 7 minute presentation) and email the rest of t...