Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from April, 2024

TIFU By bringing a plant home on my brother’s birthday

This is short and sweet but it literally just happened so I’m still soaking in the guilt and awkwardness of it. I hope someone can get a little laugh out of this Today is my brother’s birthday. I’m still in high school, and today, my art teacher approached me with a little potted plant and asked if I wanted it as she was cleaning out her room and didn’t want it anymore. I love plants so I accepted. Not even ten minutes ago, I got home from school and went outside where my brother was sitting and wished him a happy birthday. I still had the plant in my hand and I set it down near him to put it in the sun, when he responded with a “oh, thank you!!”, in a tone that suggested “thank you for giving me this plant!”. I immediately picked up his tone and redirected it by saying “my teacher gave me this plant today because she no longer wanted it”, so that he would get the hint that I wasn’t giving him the plant. He didn’t say anything other than “that’s cool!”, and then we moved on. Usually I...

TIFU by eating Takis

Not my story! Sharing for a friend. "I (18f)was obsessed with Takis. For those who don't know, Takis are a very spicy corn chip snack and 16yo me loved them. I would eat at least one extra large bag a week and it only got worse from there. One day I ate 2 of those large bags. It was so good, but early the next morning I woke up with the worst stomach cramps that had me sweating in the bathroom and groan with effort. When I thought I might be finished, I dared a peek of what I left in the bowl and I saw red. Lots of blood. Obviously, I panicked and woke my mom. she panicked and took me to the hospital. They did so many tests trying to figure what is wrong with me. Stool tests negative for blood. Doc finally asks what I ate. Needless to say, the color was Takis flavoring powder(bright red). My mother was so mad because she had to pay thousands of dollars(U.S. with no health insurance) and to this day I am banned by her from eating my favorite snack. TL;DR: I wasted thousands my...

TIFU by opening a Lego set I bought for myself last year

As the title states, I fucked up by opening a Lego set I have been meaning to build since I bought it for myself for Christmas. For Christmas, I bought a couple Lego sets for myself, and included in that was the Bird of paradise from the botanical collection. I love the orchid and bonsai tree, so I got the bird of paradise and I decided to do it today. Little did I know after looking up on the Lego website just now to see if they added any new botanical collection sets, the bird of paradise has been discontinued. I got the set on sale for $70, and now Walmart and Amazon are selling them for $200. I can imagine they will go up much more 10 years down the line. I’m not too upset about it because I really wanted to build it anyways, but if I knew, I probably wouldn’t have ever opened it and held onto it for a decade to see how it appreciated in value. But, at the end of the day, I’m enjoying building it and I’m not in dire need for money. So it is what it is! TL;DR I opened a Lego se...

TIFU by discovering that LS mean another thing other than a train type.

I was navigating at the Internet in a chan/forum about trains,and a guy was banned for asking for LS Models videos or something like that...i have do not understanded very well the reason he was banned So i asked why bro was banned...and what i discovered was traumatic... Basically i discovered that were a enterprise that was producing illegal content,called Little Saints Models,A.K.A. LS Models,that worked in Ukraine until 2004... For me,LS was a type of trains,that does some minitrains for collectors...my friend have brought some of that for his home and i was thinking to buy it on the Internet,but i am just too traumatized to buy something... TL;DR:I think i am in a pretty bad situation,cause i asked sometimes at Google,4Chan and Reddit for LS Models(the train type)

TIFU and lost my over 20 years old steam account.

Okay, I never thought that could happen to me, but here we are. My Steam account got hijacked/stolen, and I am devastated. This account is over 20 years old, and I lost it due to my own stupidity. A friend sent me a link over Discord which I clicked. "Ah, okay, you have to log in with your Steam account." Fair enough, I have my Steam Guard, so no worries. Hmm, didn’t work. I got sent another code via SMS (which I didn't read, I just saw the small bubble from the notification). Some of you might have already guessed: that code was to remove Steam Guard, and bam, I was out of my account. Stupid me wasn’t paying attention, as I was at work and I got the link from a trusted source (he had a trojan and messaged me like 2 minutes later). Recovering wasn’t possible since my email and telephone number got removed. I went through the support site and sent proof of ownership (credit card statements, PayPal invoice numbers, screenshots from my logged-in Steam deck, whatever I coul...

TIFU by asking my gf to swallow

I (m 32) have been living in Japan for about 6 months at this point. Slowly learning the language and enjoying my time here so far. About 3 months ago I actually met this cute girl (f 26) and started seeing her. She is great and her english is much better than i expected, but there are still come phrases I have to explain a few times before she gets it. One thing I wanted to tell her to do is to swallow while she blows me. So far when I am about to come she stops and continues with her hand. Its not something she has done so far, and I did not want to bring it up too early in the relationship because i was not sure how she would take it. On sunday night, while I was at her place...I brought up this with her. The way i phrased it was "when it comes to blowjobs, I am team swallow". She looked at me slightly confused at first, but then she smiled and said "ahh...sure!" and laughed. I laughed too and was excited that she was down for this. I had not jerked off in ...

TIFU by laughing when my boyfriend confessed that he wanted me to be jealous

To keep this short, I 19 F have a boyfriend, Derek 19 M we’ve been dating for a little over a year now. Derek is the older brother of one of the kids I babysit and he’s really amazing he’s smart kind goofy and I love the relationship that he has with his younger sister. Our only problem is his best friend Destiny CONSTANTLY brings up his ex gf Tiffany. Derek and Tiffany dated for most of their highschool life up until senior year. I’ve met Tiffany and she’s cool and I’m cool too so we’re cool. Destiny tho? Not so cool. Whenever we hang out destiny finds some way to bring up the times when Tiffany and Derek were together i don’t really mind because the stories are funny. One thing that Derek and Tiffany had in common was their love for horses. For his 16th birthday his Dereks dad brought him a horse and he had once brought Tiffany to the ranch where she is to ride her and I honestly think that’s rlly cool and told him that we should definitely do that. I didn’t realize it then but rece...

TIFU telling my BF my fantasy

Happened yesterday. My BF (29M) and I (27F) were watching news coverage of a clean-up taking place in a nearby suburb after a tornado came through. There were a few firefighters assisting with clean up, walking around, checking homes, and helping people. I accidently said, "Saving lives is so hot." While watching. My boyfriend was a little taken aback and asked me what I meant. I told him firefighters were really attractive to me because they are so brave and selfless. It's a huge turn-on. He told me he felt like that was a messed up thing to say to him, that I shouldn't be looking at other men like that. I assured him that I only want him, but maybe I'd enjoy doing some role playing. He got even more upset and said that I crossed the line and he doesn't think he can really satisfy me because he's nothing like a firefighter and doesn't want to act like one. Things just kind of escalated from there. In the heat of our argument, I told him I don't...

TIFU by being a homophobe years ago

As the title states, I (33 M) f'd up by being a homophobic piece of shit when I was in senior high. Basically there was this new kid who had just moved into town and was now attending my school, in a matter a days news of the kid who i'll call Karl, spread throughout the school of him being gay. Now, this school was super religious when it came to stuff like students committing crimes and kids being gay, so when thi though he tried to hide it, it was still pretty obvious. So one day, my friends and I decided that we were gonna f around and bully the new kid. One of my friends thought it'd be a good idea to make a ketchup bomb, this essentially was a bottle of ketchup that had baking soda added to it and it was then shaken. Then came lunch time, with the bottle of ketchup and a little package of baking soda I sneaked behind Karl and mixed the two components,shook and closed the bottle, well this little prank went south really quickly as the ketchup bomb exploded everywh...

TIFU By cursing out my computer on a work call

Obligatory did not happen today. This tale goes back to coronatimes. We were in full lockdown and my team at work was having a very important online meeting on new policies. Everyone was there, my collegues, my boss... I was having a particulary shitty morning. When first logging in on the call I realised the worst: my wifi was down. I quickly jumped into the car and raced to my parents house close by. Luckily, I could set up in my brothers old room on his shitty desk between his boxing ball and his closet. With a delay of 20 minutes, I finally connected to the zoomcall...only to realise that my battery was running low and my charger was still at home. After an axiety-ridden return trip back home I was officially a half an hour late on this call. Luckily we had only just arrived at the point in the meeting where my opinion was needed. Sigh of relief, gather my thoughts, start concentrating and jutting down notes. But then, the moment that I was discussing something very important...my...

TIFU by asking my situationship “what are we” after sex

A month ago I 20F ended a 3 years relationship. I was tired of her 20F bullshit and breaking up with me over stupid things. Everyone saw how much she made me cry. I put up with her because she was my first love. Life is too short for this bullshit. We ended things. Two weeks ago I met a girl 18F at my birthday. She is my best friend’s cousin and she came back to her hometown for 3 weeks. Since the moment i saw her i felt something i never felt with anyone. Long story short she was flirty. She was dancing seductively then she began being very touchy and i got excited🤭 and what made things worse she was flirting with me. I flirted back. At some point things escalated and we kissed. Before she kissed me though she said “Don’t get attached we are just having fun”. I told her “Don’t worry about that” even though i was already getting attached. We kissed. We made out. We kept going for a while then things got more… well. We just gave each other hints that we will do it. We sent and repo...

TIFU bubblegum in class embarrassment

So one day it was just a normal day I was in class minding my own business then my friend Mari tapped me on the shoulder and said hey you want some gum and I said sure what kind and she said double bubble bubble gum and I love double bubble because of the huge bubbles it makes so I said of course so I started chewing and about ten ish minutes until it was soft and it is class it is boring so I decided to blow some bubbles the first few were small so I shrugged if off I was luck though because I was in the back of the class and my next bubble was huge it was bigger than my head and Mari had to say out loud AMY THAT BUBBLE IS HUGE and I am a sorta shy person but right when Mari said that the whole class turned around and they were in shock I kept blowing and blowing until pop the gum got all over me and I couldn't get it off so I had to go to the bathroom and wash it off I was so embarrassed has any of this happens to you if so share you bubblegum fail in the comments also what is y...

TIFU by masturbating in front of my sister.

My (18F) parents and sister (8F) had gone out somewhere, so I thought I have plenty of time to get some alone time. I didn't bother closing the room door because I thought I'd hear the main door open when they come in. Nope. I'm splayed out on my bed, hands in my pants, eyes closed and eveything when I notice my door ajar. My sister was peeking inside. She couldn't have NOT noticed my hands in there moving vigorously. I am so fucked. I'm so scared that she'll tell our parents, or worse how it'll affect her psyche. My family including me have tried really hard not to expose her to this kind of stuff so early. What do I do now😭😭😭 I feel like a terrible older sister. She's 8 so I really doubt she won't remember it. TL;DR: Sister caught me masturbating. Now thoroughly fucked and wracked with guilt. EDIT: Told my mom about what happened. She reassured me and said basically what a lot of the comments have said (It wouldn't impact her, just be mor...

TIFU by putting a CBD cream on my penis

Okay so this started three days ago; but the TIFU part was today. I used this Mexican brand CBD (90mg) cream called Mariguanol; and it lists the following ingredients: “Isopropyl alcohol , hidroxido de amonio, carbopol 940, hidroxido de sodio, azul brillante, sulfato de magnesio, L-mentol cristal, sulfato de cobre, 2-isopropyl-5-mentilfenol” The notable ones translate as such: - Isopropyl alcohol - Ammonium hydroxide - Carbopol 940 - Sodium hydroxide - Brilliant blue - Magnesium sulfate - Menthol crystal - Copper sulfate - 2-isopropyl-5-methylphenol Anyways, my dick burned a shit ton for 5 minutes. 5 minutes later it felt pretty good, it has 90mg of CBD. What does my dumbass do? I put more, but just on the dorsal area (surface of the penis if you look down on it standing up). Burns again; I wash it off after 20 seconds. Didn’t want to risk anything bad. Too late. For two days I didn’t notice anything wrong with my dick; I hadn’t even applied it beyond those two times; until today I ...

TIFU by deleting every single file on my computer

I recently started using the online version of Microsoft 365 to write up documents for work. I used to have the student plan so I could have word and excel and all of that on my computer but I’m no longer a student and didn’t want to keep paying for it. One drive was telling me my storage was getting full so I went to see what was taking up so much space because I don’t really use one drive and there shouldn’t be that much on there. Turns out 80% of the drive was taken up by what looked like an old backup copy of my personal documents. It was dated from 2017, so clearly not recent, and I keep all my personal documents stored on my hard drive so I had no problem simply deleting it from the cloud and then using that for my work documents instead. I deleted the file, cleared my recycling, and went about my day. About three days later (today), I realized the absolutely massive and irreparable fuck up I had created. Apparently, when one drive syncs with your device, which on my computer ...

TIFU by beating my kindergarten academic rival

This obviously happened a long time ago (lol), but I thought it seemed like a good story. When I was in kindergarten (I was 5 or 6), I had an academic rival. We were both the oldest in our class and the most advanced, as we were the only ones who knew how to read (simple) books and add/subtract large numbers. One day, he told me he knew his 2 times tables, and bet I didn't know what that was. I had never heard of this concept before, but I pretended like I did anyway. He asked me what 2x2 was, and I guessed 4. He was annoyed that I got it right, then asked me what 2x3 was. I guessed 5, and he shouted that I was wrong. I didn't believe him, so I asked our teacher. She confirmed that he was right, then gushed and praised him for being so smart. I remembered getting extremely jealous of all the attention he was getting. I wanted to be praised for being smart too! So naturally, I went home and forced my mom to teach me ALL the multiplication tables 1-10. Once I memorized them al...

TIFU by thinking my neighbor’s dog was a stray

We have 5 neighbors bordering my large yard. 3 of them have dogs (so do I) and I know these dogs. I did not think the other 2 neighbors had dogs, as none of us have fences and I had only ever seen the dogs I knew. I was out with my pup this morning doing yard work. He was hanging out on the porch while I was brining a wheelbarrow of stuff down to the compost pile. I was daydreaming and not paying attention - until I heard growling. I looked up and in the middle of our yard was a large breed copper-and-white dog. We have 4 acres, so while the yard isn’t gigantic, he was solidly within our property. His long fur was well-groomed and he had a collar, so I knew he hadn’t been a wandering for long. Since I “knew” he wasn’t one of the neighbor’s dogs, I assumed his owners lived in the general vicinity, but not right next door, and that he had recently escaped. He stood his ground, barking warning barks at me. My pup came running to investigate the noise (he thinks every dog is friendly);...

TIFU by not knowing how to French kiss

I (18f) went on my very first date yesterday. I thought it went well, until he asked me for a kiss. I didn't know he meant like French kiss, but I just went along with it lol. It was embarrassingly obvious that I had no clue in the world what I was doing. The next 30 minutes were spent with him trying to teach me how to kiss. Those were the most embarrassing 30 minutes of my life. In the end I still didn't know how lmao. He didn't seem upset at all, he was very understanding. He even bought me more food and then took me home. I thought we were all good, even though I embarrassed myself for 30 minutes lol. Did I mention that I really liked him, and if it wasn't obvious he was the first boy I've ever talked to romantically. Today I unfortunately woke up with him blocking me and on every single social media app. He left no explanation, but even I know the reason why lmao. So TIFU by not knowing how to kiss. TL;DR: I didn't know how to tongue kiss. Today I w...

TIFU when my date cancelled

I had a date planned for today. Was gonna meet a woman in a city about 45 minutes away from home by train. she had last minute work commitments as she works as at a busy bar and unfortunately had to cancel. I thought I may as well not waste the free time I now had and since I'd already bought the train ticket, I may as well go into the city. flash forward 45 minutes and I'm in the city. I entered some random bar, and unfortunately it happened to be the one my date worked at. I didn't know she worked there, all I knew she worked at a non specific bar. The moment I realised was visceral and will stick with me for a while. My blood ran cold and she actually went a bit pale. I struggled to get the right words out to explain that I'm not some crazed stalker, I think I managed to get the words "I'm so sorry I didn't know". She politely said it was fine and then immediately disappeared behind the bar. I immediately left and got the next train home. I got ...

TIFU By using Glass / Pyrex Tupperware

Happened this week. I'm still trying not to think about what could of happened if I swallowed that piece of glass shard. The piece was thin and sharp. Definitely had the potential to cause all sorts of damage to my mouth, throat and digestive system. I was super tired at work, and for some reason kept the soup in my mouth for a few seconds longer than usual. My tongue gently touched something, and my initial thought was a hardened piece of corn, but I checked anyway. Thankfully I did! The piece was close to 1 cm long, thin and very sharp. Truly couldn't comprehend what I was seeing for the first few seconds. Once I realized, I knew how lucky I was. Anyway.... All glass containers / Tupperware have been recycled. Never again, and I'm very happy this didn't happen with my kids lunches. Purchased new Rubbermaid containers right away. TL;DR - Almost swallowed a glass shard - can't even begin to think of the damage and pain that would of caused, or worse if my kids h...

TIFUpdate I drank a litre of prune juice day 2, probably shouldn’t of went to my meeting.

I managed to sleep through the pain, no poop stains and woke up quite normal in the morning and only had a 2 hour meeting so I decided to go in.Very strange, expected to have erupted but no bowel movement at all. Even though I didn’t explode today it was still horrid, when I arrived the meeting my stomach was still making weird noises, usually you wouldn’t hear it but whenever the room got quiet it fudging echoes around the room and people kept glancing at me, man my anxiety I dreaded every second the room went quiet. After the meeting quite a few people offered me food thinking I was malnourished or something and I just went with it, no way was I admitting I’m constipated. Take note people, just got to drink prune juice for free food. But the worst part of the day was the gas. As an adult I’ve mastered silently farting, I’m sure many of you have as well, you can control how much u let out and with little noise. When that guy coughed let a bit out, when people start talking you don...

TIFU by not sleeping when my first shift is in the morning

I'm currently laying in bed at 6:31 AM and I haven't slept for 24 or so hours. I just got a job after months of looking which is great but the mix of my crappy sleep schedule and nervousness has made it impossible for me to sleep. I have a slight headache, my eyes hurt and I am rather tired. I'm sure I'll do fine at my shift but got datum, I really don't make things easier on myself. Gotta start getting ready in less than an hour and I'm hoping I won't look more dead than usual. I already have permanent dark bags under my eyes so I'm worried about looking like some fucking night creature coming from a cave. If my lack of sleep somehow screws this up, I am going to cry. Anyway, wish me luck y'all. I've never posted on here before but was bored so thought I'd just do it. TL;DR: Didn't sleep when I have early shift and I feel like absolutely garbage.

TIFU by not shutting up and driving myself into being single

In traditional TIFU fashion, this was and ongoing thing that culminated to today, early hours today. I am a bit of a homebody and my (ex) girlfriend liked to go out for a few drinks every now and then on weekends. In the beginning this was not a problem for me as it would usually only be for an hour or two and sometimes I would tag along just to socialize for a bit. Eventually she would invite her friend T(male) to hangout as well and then they would stay out later and later, usually until 1 or 2 am. I was kinda irritated at that but it was her own personal time and I didn't want to intrude. Soon you'll see where this is going as that got extended to 4, then 5, then 6, and lately 7am the morning after on weekends. Everytime she would come home to me and try to have sex with me. But knowing that she spent more time with T than myself I would usually, and saltiness, turn her down. This has continued for months now and at the beginning of this month I confronted her about how mu...

TIFU I drank a litre of prune juice now what

So I been constipated for a bit and read somwhere that prune juice is natural laxative and bought it. And idk why if I imagined reading it or not but I thought I read a comment that said half a litre warmed up does the trick. So I thought I had to drink a lot for it to work, so I drank the whole litre body earlier today. A few hours in notice somethings wrong my stomachs gurgling making noise gradually getting louder and worse. Right now unable to sleep from the pain. So I searched it up and actually you are only meant to drink 1 cup. Im not sure what’s gonna happen now, maybe I will fart my way to the moon? Maybe it’s a medical emergency?? I’ll probably be blowing up sometime tonight. Tldr the worldss stinkiest explosion may be coming soon

TIFU by making fun of my wife's flatulence (NSFW)

Obligatory 'this happened last night' Some background: My wife and I have been together for almost a decade. She's a great match for me; we're both sci-fi and LOTR nerds, we do Renaissance Fairs, etc. (Remember Lord of the Rings for later) But like anyone, she has her... peculiarities. She's incredibly bashful about bodily functions. Doesn't want me around when she's on the toilet, etc. Also she has health issues and takes a lot of different medications. Her primary care Dr started her on a new medication that gives her gas. And thus the scene is set for my fuck up. Last night, right after we got in bed, my wife farted. And when l say she farted, l mean it sounded like a howitzer firing. It scared the cat off the bed and rattled the windows, the sheets were billowing like sails on a 3 masted schooner and the dog started barking. She looked over at me, it was obvious that she was horrified by what she had done. Me, l thought it was funny, and in the m...

TIFU by Forgetting to Cancel my Photoshop Trial Subscription

Today, like many TIFU posts, this happened a few weeks ago but the repercussions are hitting me now. So, about two weeks ago, I decided to try out Photoshop for a fun family photo edits and Generative Fill. I found a sweet deal for a 14-day trial and thought, "Great! I'll just cancel before it charges me." Fast forward to today, and I found myself in a predicament. I tried to cancel my Photoshop subscription after the trial ended (because i forgot) thinking that i'll pay a month worth anyway, but to my horror, I discovered that Adobe was not going to let me off the hook that easily. They want to charge me if I cancel early, and not just a small fee. No, they want to charge me 50% of a year worth of subscription So here I am, stuck in a year-long commitment, paying monthly for a service I no longer need or want. It's incredibly frustrating how these companies make it so easy to sign up but nearly impossible to cancel without facing hefty penalties. To anyone re...

TIFU using Apple Pay

TIFU by using Apple Pay while doing some spicy online shopping. I want to start by saying that this just happened and I am still in disbelief so please forgive my frantic mobile typing. A little backstory: I am now in my twenties and live on my own, so I thought I would go out of my way and buy my very first vibrator. This is something I have always wanted but have never done, for monetary reasons due to the brand I wanted. I did my extensive research, (reddit threads included), ordered from the website, and all was good until I couldn’t find my confirmation email. I thought to myself for a moment. Did I even put in my address? Why didn’t it send to the email I typed in? Then I start to panic. I opened up my main email, and my anxiety is confirmed. My jaw dropped when I see my parent’s first name in the confirmation email. Sometimes my apple pay info gets mixed up, and this time I forgot to double check the address. Somehow apple pay used MY card, and fucked up the remaining info. I...

TIFU by kissing my ex-girlfriend

I'm an 18 year old nale from Belgium and had been in an intimate relationship with my 16 year old gf (I was 17 when we met). It's been while now since my ex ended things between us. For her own mental reason she stated. Yet asking me a mere 2 weeks after to be her FWB (friends with benefits). Having had sex multiple times since then. I asked her to the school galabal to be my date, she said yes. When I picked her up from the train station we went for a couple of drinks at a bar. And later headed on to the gala. We danced, drunk, took photos and more... It was after 7 or 8 drinks I forced her to stop drinking or things would end up badly (her being already drunk). I had arranged for my father to pick us up at 1 AM. We went outside and got in the car, to risk getting the car puked over I politely asked her to lay down. She did. She dozed of a couple of times. And we sang to some songs when she woke up. Then when she was awake I asked her if I could kiss her. After she gave her ...

TIFU by breaking up with my girlfriend to get back with someone

TIFU, I’ll give some back story a few months ago I got with A but we didn’t work out so then I met a new girl K, we quickly dated. We were dating for a few months until A came back but the thing was I was unsure if I wanted to persue A. Anyways K was at a party and some things happened to her but she didn’t say much, I’m sure she didn’t cheat by my close friends think so. Anyways I’ve had a lot of pressure from my friends to break up with K and get back with A. There’s a lot I like about K but my friends don’t like her and think I can do better, my family thinks I should break up with K if I have doubts over our relationship. Anyways here’s where the fuck up happens, after a lot of pressure from my friends and a big fight over K’s party incident I broke up with her and my friend is already trying to get me with A. But here’s the thing I already feel heartbroken and regret, idk if it’s because we broke up or because I genuinely don’t want to break up with K, I do love K and she was my ...

TIFU by reading my wife's journal

I'll start this by saying I know I shouldn't have invaded her privacy like that. My wife and I have been together for almost 10 years and married for a year. She was journaling last night and must have been reading old pages from just before we met and was complaining about a fling she had who didn't wanna date her because she isn't Christian. I vaguely remember her mentioning some asshole neighbor she hooked up with early in dating but he never came up again until last night. She was still asleep when I got up and her journal was sitting open on our coffee table. Curiosity got the best of this cat. Now I'm haunted by what I've read. It was pretty clear that our first night together was definitely a rebound and that she was still very much into this guy. She even writes that the night was fun but she doesn't want to date me in case XX (the guy) wanted to be with her. I read some earlier posts and they just got worse she had details of their sexual encounter...

TIFU by thinking I could fix him

I am coming finally to realize the extent of my fuck up today, though the fucking up has taken a long time of fucking up to get here. Go ahead and shame me, I deserve it. I ignored every red flag and went ahead anyway. I'd be the one who could just love enough, work enough, read enough, commit enough to make it work. I'm such a fool. He has never been good at communicating. He is angry. He is mean and is verbally abusive. He is viciously defensive. He treats me in the same horrible way he treats his mother. String of failed relationships he refused to talk about. I married him anyway. I have a house and kids with him. Everytime he got somewhat better and I'd see some improvement it'd convince me that this was workable. Then it'd regress to how it always was. He has straight up admitted all his faults to me and told me he won't change. Why did I let myself accept this? Tldr: cliche he won't change and I thought I could be the special princess that would...

TIFU by telling my friend to writhe in agony

A week ago, there was a sakura festival that happened in my city, so me & a group of friends decided to visit the event. After walking around as a group, we decided to go do our own thing, then rendezvous to a certain place before heading back. I went to my own adventure to an area where they did culinary, tea ceremony, and arts & crafts. I'm always interested in calligraphy, so seeing a different arts & crafts happening, including bouquet making, fascinates me. ​ After walking around trying to see what's going on in each corner, I stumbled upon a booth where they draw free calligraphy for the guests in the form of a bookmark. The bookmark can contain a name, an idiom, or a combination of both. Since I don't know Kanji, I looked into the catalog of idioms they have to offer, and I picked one that says 七転罵倒, which has the meaning of "never give up". It says something along the line of "no matter how much you fall, keep trying, again and again, u...

TIFU by taking an antibiotic on an empty stomach

So nearly a week ago, I woke up to a weird kinda sore bump below my lip. Thinking it was just a pimple I, like an idiot, fucked around with it and tried to pop it. All that got me was a very irritated and swollen bump, some unnecessary blood, and no satisfactory pimple pop. I shrugged it off and went about my day. Tuesday morning, I woke up to feel that the bump had become red, angry, inflamed, and now my lip above it had swollen up. Well, shit. The area where the bump was was now very tough and tight, it was incredibly sore, and now there’s the obvious bee-stung-appearing lip. I called my doctor, got an appointment, and got put on an antibiotic. See, the thing is—my family has a history with MRSA. My mom works in the medical field and has had it before in the same spot I had my angry bump. My sister had it on her cheek. So, with both of us deciding to err on the side of caution, she put me on a super strong broad spectrum that also covers MRSA. Five days go by taking this antibiot...

TIFU booking a flight with wrong name (Murphy's Law)

This happened last year on our family trip to Japan but I think this story fits here. October 2023, I (28f) went with my sister (30f) and parents (63m & 55f) to Japan for the first time. My parents and I flew to Singapore first since my sister lives in Singapore, and from there the 4 of us flew together to Japan. The flight from my city to Singapore was at 8am ish, so we woke up at 4 am that day (an hr trip to the airport). I'd slept around 11.30pm the night before, so barely enough sleep. Checking in the counter, the staff told me I'd booked my dad's ticket with a different name from his passport. I'd booked his ticket with his new name per his ID, while his name in the passport is his old Chinese name (in latin alphabets not chinese characters). Documentation in my country is so fckd up and it's too long to explain, but bottom line, it's a very common problem here to have passport name different from ID name. There's no aliases detailed in any legal...

TIFU by almost losing my passport

I saw an airline related post earlier and wanted to share my own. Last August, I was visiting Canada for my friends’ wedding. When I got to the hotel, I put my passport in the drawer, it was my first time flying international by myself so I did a lot of things my dad did thinking it would keep me safe. Anyway, the trip was beautiful, everything was so nice, my friends and I explored Toronto. At the wedding I gave a speech for my friend, we had a great time. On the night before my flight, I packed everything up so that I would have no trouble getting out. I wake up early. Grab my stuff and head to the airport early, about 3 hours early (it was a 40 minute drive there). So I get there and start looking for my passport in my carry on… it’s not there. I wasn’t afraid of retrieving my passport, but rather make it in time before my flight leaves. (I took a Texas flight with my family before, and because we were late, I got stuck in the airport for 12 hours). The way I was panicking, my h...

TIFU by missing my international flight and loosing all the money in my wallet.

I planned a 2 week trip to Philippines to visit my gf, explore the culture, celebrate my birthday and take a break from being a caregiver. I planned the trip since January. It was going to be the trip of a lifetime. But I arrived at the airport 30 minutes before scheduled departure and the airline already left the check in area. While on the phone panicking at the busy airport trying to find a new flight under $1000. I dropped my passport wallet containing $1200 dollars. I was trying to move my luggage, write down information while on the phone with the airline rep whose English was barely understandable. A full five minutes passed before I realized my wallet was not in my pocket. And airport security saw a man turn it in to them. The passport and cards were there but all my spending money saved for the trip stolen out of it. I feel so sad and embarrassed. I still have a chance to take the new flight in 5 days. But it will only give me 8 days in the trip and no money to spend. ...

TIFU by writing a book about my crush

Excuse my poor English. English is my third language. This happened in 2022 when I was 22 years old but it started in November 2021. Warning in advance that this is a double FU. Usually I’m a very socially anxious person so I’ve never had a boyfriend. During my teenage years I had no crushes and I’ve never been in love. However in university that changed. There was this guy. You know when you grow up to no male attention you romanticise every single interaction with men at least just like that for us women. No idea about the men. That man was the first guy who paid attention to me and was nice to me. Our first interaction was when he opened the campus door for me because he was opening it and he saw me. I didn’t know my colleagues yet and I didn’t know she was one of them. During our first class however I talked too During our first class however I talked to many people including him. I knew that I would see him often. After that day I romanticised the little gesture. It took me one...

TIFU Messing With My Physics Teacher

For background, my physics teacher is a no nonsense guy and he hates it when students talk in his class. But he's chill otherwise. Mostly So, today, when he was teaching, some idiots were talking very loudly. Without turning back, he said, "Fill in the blanks. _______ is injurious to health during my class." Now, everyone, including me, knew the answer was 'Talking'. But it was too bad a chance to miss out on. Me and a few other guys shouted 'smoking' when everyone said 'talking'. But, he only heard me, cuz I was sitting in the first row. And to makes things worse, my friend muttered "well, he's not wrong" loud enough for him to hear. As I've said, he hates things like that. He made both of us stand up and asked me what I said. Now, thinking back I could have probably escaped by saying that I meant talking. I was about to say that... "Well, I said smoking, but-" "- Well, he's not wrong sir, smoking ...

TIFU by tracking my wife's car and calling her out when she told a white lie about where she was

I put a tracker in both of our vehicles when there was a spike in car thefts. Forgot about it for the past year. Today had a weird feeling my wife wasn't going where she said she was going. Remembered the tracker. Bingo - I was right. I let her know I knew she had lied, she went to a clothing store instead of the pharmacy. She said she didn't want to hear me bitch about spending money again. I travel a lot for work and she never questions me about where I go because we trust each other. Prior to being married I had a very bad relationship and my ability to trust people has eroded. I can be a little paranoid and distrustful at times. I try to talk myself out of that mindset bit not always successfully. None of that is her fault, I trust my wife. I am an idiot. She is pissed and I feel like a jackass. I took the tracker out of her car so she knows Im not going to track her again. What's my next move? TL:DR tracked my wife kinda accidentally, called her out on a white l...

TIFU by laughing at someone’s purity ring.

On mobile, so apologies for any formatting issues. This happened the other day, and I’m still cringing about it. For context; I’m an ex-evangelical, single parent, with a septum ring and brightly colored hair. I grew up in Purity Culture ™ and when I was 16 years old, my father sat me down and gave me a ring and asked me to promise that I would “save myself” for my future husband, and sexually pure until I was married. This ring and promise absolutely did not work. The only thing the purity ring gave me was a sense of shame regarding my sexuality, and because I was only taught to abstain from sex, I had absolutely no idea how to go about setting sexual boundaries and engaging in safe sex… which ultimately resulted in me getting knocked up as a young adult. Yay. So about the other day. I decide to stop by a garage sale. As I approach the house, a woman and her teenage daughter greet me. The teenager is probably 15/16years old, super chatty, bubbly, and seems incredibly sweet. She ...

TIFU by not taking care of an ingrown toenail sooner

TLDR: let an ingrown toenail fester and ended up loosing the entire nail. NSFW Warning because this is gross and if you have a weak stomach I would not read this. This happened on Wednesday night and I’m still grimacing from it. My toe is in a lot of pain too. This all started about a month ago when I noticed a pain in my right toe. Noticed it was an ingrown toenail and stupidly left it alone. And after about a week or two it started to look better. Then what I can only describe as the worst week of my poor big toes life happened. I stubbed it 3 or more times. Crushed it with an L Cart. And had it stepped on multiple times by my dogs. Needless to say it got worse but still I, against the advice of my husband, decided to let it be. Fast forward to Wednesday night. I took a look at my toe and decided I needed to get it checked by a doctor. Went to the ER, urgent care was closed and I don’t have a pcp. After a five hour visit finding out it was heavily infected, 3 numbing shots, and...

TIFU by trying to show my cat what I was doing

Okay, so, I am REALLY upset about this. I was painting today, and it was really going okay, but I have a cat who's really rambunctious and likes to invade my personal space. Now, I've moved up to the table to paint (in the past, I liked sitting on the floor and painting, but he'd step on everything and get messy), so I didn't really expect him to really do anything, let alone today because he was really chill. I Was almost finished painting, when he came over to see what I was doing. I looked down at him and said hello, all the normal stuff. I had a paintbrush FULL of bright yellow paint, and I was going to show him so that he'd hopefully stay away, but the paint was runny, unbeknownst to me, and a giant blob of it just dropped on the poor guy's arm and he took off and started running around my house. He left little yellow paw prints all over the hardwood floor and the carpets. I had to WRESTLE him to get ahold of him, and I saw the mess I had inflicted on my p...

TIFU While Trying To Get Cheap Yard Labor From My Nephews

Over the last two weeks, there has been a small crew preparing to move the trailer house next door to my Grandma's. She noticed that the old neighbors had a large section of paving stones in front of the porch and along the side path, so she got permission to take them. The crew of guys absolutely trashed her yard with old pieces of wood, metal, and junk. And they left the ground completely unleveled! Grandmama was pissed! So I got two of my nephews and we started cleaning it up and raking dirt, the poor maintenence men in charge of the park were right there with us digging along. There's no way I wanted to stay out for another hour moving paving stones before going to work! So I struck a deal. I told my oldest nephew I would pay him a dollar for each stone he moved. I did a rough count beforehand, just to make sure I had enough floating cash. I saw about fifty of them, so I figured thirty dollars for the older one and twenty for the younger one would be good compensation, t...

TIFU leaving my partner’s laptop open

This happened yesterday evening. I enjoy video games but I don’t usually have much time to myself to play. Wednesdays I usually get to play for a total of an hour in between doing laundry and other things. I usually play on the tv in the living room but our roommate started working nights and I didn’t want to wake him. So I used my partner’s MacBook Pro to play some fallout in the bedroom. The laptop is technically shared but I say it’s hers because I don’t use it often. I played for maybe 20 minutes before I had to move a load from the washer to the dryer. I was planning on coming right back to the game so I left the laptop open. I ended getting distracted with other chores and then took our dogs on a walk to meet my partner at the train station nearby. I completely forgot about the laptop. Once I finally remembered the game, I came back to a black screen with a white line going all the way across. The corner of the screen was cracked with a purplish blob in the top left corner. Our ...

TIFU by contacting an old woman friend from high school.

TLDR; I contacted a woman friend who I didn’t speak to since 2017, because I’m a lonely guy. She unfortunately thought I wanted sex. I (25M) am lonely and do not have many friends. And like with money, you need friends to make more friends. I’ve tried and failed to make new friends, so I figured I’d reignite the old ones from long ago. This went terribly. All I did was say “Hey, how are you. I know it’s been a while but I saw your Insta post and thought back on what it was like where I used to live.” No response for 3 hours until finally a “Hey man.” Idiotically, I pushed further until she completely stopped responding. Now her latest snap story is about how “some guy from my ancient past tried contacting her for some of her ass”. Honestly, I should’ve figured this would’ve happened. Not gonna say she’s blameless for making a wild, baseless assumption, but damn I feel like a fool. Which is why I’m gonna wait like 4 more months before trying this again with someone else.

TIFU by being too polite while getting my salad tossed

I'm an older man now, and lucky to be so, for once, in my youth, I was too polite while getting my salad tossed. I was dating a girl in college who was very sweet, very pretty, but perhaps somewhat lacking in common sense. We had been dating several months when she told me, "I have a surprise for you tonight." I was excited and arrived at her apartment that evening to find that she had lit her bedroom with dozens of candles. She had a nice bottle of wine on the nightstand by her bed, and, seemingly out of place, a jar of grape jelly. "I read about this," she said, "It's going to be great." Considering in retrospect what was about to happen, I cannot imagine where she "read about this." Not even Cosmo would publish this idea. In hindsight, I can only assume she had read a joke, but didn't realize it was a joke. I have to think that someone sent her an Urban Dictionary definition and she just didn't get the full context. We had...

TIFU by saying that I feel bad that a girl got killed by her father

For some background I live in Iraq a mostly Muslim country. Today I was with my family watching TV and there was a news about a dad killing his daughter because she was previously caught with a guy and the guy and his friends raped her and threw her from a balcony on the 2nd floor when I heard that I was shocked how can someone kill their daughter in that way and I said it out loud, then my own dad started yelling at me for an hour saying how can I sympathise with her and that's I should never show affection towards that kind of action and he became super mad at me then my mother joined in to say the exact same thing, so now both of them are yelling at me saying how can I show affection towards someone that is "un-pure" and how would I like if my sister had sex with someone I did not say anything more because how can people not feel anything towards a human soul that has been killed because she had sex. TL;DR: my dad is mad at me because I felt bad that a girl got kille...

TIFU when my dad called me at work.

Posting on behalf of my sister who does not Reddit but this story was too funny to pass up. For context, I got my first cell phone when I was around 10 and haven't updated anyone in my contacts since. Julie Smith got married? She's still Julie Smith. Kevin from algebra is still "Kevin from Algebra." My dad is still listed as what I called him when I was ten, "Daddy." His contact picture in my phone is also an old picture of him holding me as a baby. My dad called me today while I was at work as a hairdresser with a client. She looked at my phone when it went off and I ignored it because of course I did I was at work. Despite that, she suddenly got this dirty look on her face and was pretty short for the rest of her appointment. I cashed her out and went about my day until my manager called me to her office. Turns out, that lady put in a complaint with my manager. My manager was apologetic as she explained "I'm sorry I even have to talk to you abo...

TIFU by eating bad canned chili, getting food poisoning and almost dying and not realizing it was the chili until 22 years later.

So this happened when I was 16 during summer break between sophomore and junior year, so almost 22 years ago. I was doing a tennis camp and we would do three hours in the morning, take an hour lunch and do three hours in the afternoon. I had a can of chili for lunch each day and would be pretty sick in the afternoon. A couple times I barely made it to the bathroom in time before pooping myself. I just felt exhausted and weak and somewhat of an upset stomach. I for some reason I thought I wasn’t in good enough shape and the heat and physical activity was making me sick. I never put 2 and 2 together that it was the canned chili. It tasted fine and never gave me problems before. I toughed it out and made it through the week. I kept taking aspirin for the pain as well and basically just hung out in the evening and rested. That weekend my family went to a car show (i was very into old muscle cars) and my mom noticed I wasn’t acting normal. I told her I wasn’t feeling good and hadn’t been...