greenmangostudio

I was watching criterion videos and googled some movies someone mentioned. Specifically, Bill Hader mentions salo as a date movie and I did get it was sarcastic but I immediately googled it and… wtf. I proceeded to got down a rabbit hole of simply just reading descriptions of the most disturbing movies ever, because I was bored and it was amusing AT THE TIME. Now I’ve been lying in bed for over two hours and I can’t stop thinking about how disgusting the descriptions I read today are. Now, before anyone says I’m freaking out too quickly. I watched “Bones and all” a while ago (the acting was good I guess) and although I found it disturbing, I watched it until the last scene. But these movies I read about today make “Bones and all” sound like a lighthearted film. When I watched that I thought it was probably one of the weirdest movies ever. But I guess I’m naive so yeah. It’s not that I don’t know horrible stuff happens in life it’s also… why would you want to put that on a screen, and ...

Obligatory happened when i was 14-15, my dads old employer did an internet radio talk show, earlier on i had to install the software on my computer, it was just to broadcast some preliminary music so listeners knew the show was about to start, while the actual people setup the equipment at the location, eventually things were figured out and they didn't need to use my computer but i never bothered uninstalling it and the software started with windows. One night i was doing some wikisurfing, studying history, it wasn't uncommon for me to use a screen reader, still isn't, sometimes i'm just not in the mood for reading, so i'm using this ancient software called DECTalk (which as a sidenote, is apparently what stephen hawking used) when something starts spamming my windows notifications, making it hard to hear the screen reader. It was the radio shows chatbox, they had gone live and the chat messages were coming through to my computer because of the software, after a...

So short story, long story short , I matched with this guy on Hinge back in December. He was on vacation when we matched over the holidays and he initiated making plans. We added each other on Snapchat, had a bit of small talk, then we set plans to meet up when he came back, that date being January 3rd. December 31st: I asked him what time we would meet up; he said he didn't have one because he had to coach a basketball game, so he would keep me posted. January 3rd: I sent a cute video explaining I was excited to meet him. I didn't hear from him all day. I even took a nap and when I woke up, he had shared a story post of him somewhere else, so I messaged him and I was like if you didn't even want to meet up, you could've just said that. He Read my messages later that night saying that he's sorry, and if we can make it up. we were hit with a snowstorm that weekend so I sent him a message saying to stay safe and that he can feel free to video chat me in the meanti...

Obligatory was not today, but I can now laugh at it. Also, apologies for any format errors as I am on mobile. Around a week ago, my partner and I attended a wedding for her family. Now this wedding was nothing special, no one that she would see on a weekly (or monthly basis). So in true fashion, throughout the reception we got quite bored and ready to leave. This wedding also happened to fall on an anniversary of ours, can you see where I’m going? Once we got back home, almost straight to undressing and LOTS of sweat. I would like to add, roughly 3 months ago I injured my back at work and have been having issues since. Well after we had fun, we clean up and head to the bathroom. One issue though, my back was hurting a LOT more than usual, difficulty standing up, walking, and even lying down was painful. So off to the ER we go as I am a complete mess in pain. We get there, and I have sciatica! Which I somewhat expected but why was it hurting more than usual? I was having a flare-up fr...

My husband and I have been married for about 4 and a half years. My family is pretty religious and it’s typical for us to wait to have sex until marriage. So, when I got engaged my Dad gave me a book for Christian newlyweds with like information on sex and intimacy and stuff. He thought it would be a good idea that I have like a help guide I guess? It was a little weird but he explained that “there are some questions you don’t want to have to go ask someone so it can be nice to have a reference.” And we have the internet for that now, but he also explained his parents also gave him the same book and he found it helpful. It was super embarrassing, but I didn’t want to be rude and decline the book so I accepted it. Then I showed it to my at the time fiancé and we laughed at how dumb this book was. Like, okay there was an instruction guide for putting on condoms or something, and it had illustrations that were absolutely hilarious. Obviously they didn’t want to use photos, so they’re dr...

My side door keypad stopped working so I decided it was a sign to get my house re-keyed since I didn’t do it when I moved in a year ago. Locksmith came by this morning and replaced the keypad as well as re-keyed all of my exterior door locks. We were chatting after he finished. He asked me if I wanted him to set up the key pad. I told him no, I’ll take care of it later. He gave me all the new keys to the house plus an extra for free! Time goes by and I get distracted by work. It’s lunch time and I haven’t eaten so I leave get some food. As I’m leaving I think “oh I should be sure to lock the new key pad so I can try it out when I get back!” I get back and realize I didn’t put the new key on my key chain or put one in the hide a key. No big deal I can just type in my code. The code doesn’t work… cuz I never set it up… I called the locksmith and they’re out here now trying to pick the lock. I’ve been sitting outside for 30mins tl;dr I got new house keys and forgot about them As we...

So this happened when I had just moved to a new city for my first job. I was staying in this tiny, matchbox-sized PG that didn’t have a geyser. The only way to get hot water was solar, which, of course, never worked. For days, I struggled with ice-cold showers until I finally got myself a water heating rod. My lazy self came up with a brilliant routine—every night, I’d fill a bucket with water, put the rod in, plug it in while it was off, and go to sleep. In the morning, when my first alarm rang, I’d half-consciously reach out, turn the switch on, and go back to sleep. By the time the second alarm went off 20 minutes later, the water would be hot, and I’d get up and take a shower. One night, I was completely exhausted from work. I followed my usual routine, but this time, I might’ve made a tiny mistake—either I accidentally switched it on before sleeping or it was already on, and I just didn’t check properly. Next morning, my first alarm rang, and I instinctively reached out to tur...

I (29f) work in a place with a lot of older women. I love it! There's always food to eat and the place stays lively. The only downside is that I'm the only one unmarried and child free, which makes them do everything they can to get me a relationship. With valentine's day around the corner, they've really been buzzing. It only mildly irritates me and I find it kind of funny, so no need for HR. We were at lunch, gossiping as usual when they started to tell me about valentine's being on a Friday and how it would be so cute if I got dressed up to go out that night and how they can help me pick an outfit. I jokingly told them "it took three men to teach me a lesson, I don't need another." They then started pestering me about what they did, in that moment I decided if I told them about my three worst dating experiences, they would leave it alone. I told them about the first guy who was in the military. We met on tinder and talked for two weeks before he ...

I like to cook for my friends, sometimes at my house and sometimes at theirs. I have a friend couple that I would cook for probably once a month, I would bring something over, cook and clean up after myself. We would play video games and smoke. It's been a few years since I have been over to cook for them because of the last thing I cooked for them. They chose Taquitos (White people taquitos so pretty much flautas) ANYWAYS... I was seasoning the food at the very end before I put the filling in the tortillas; they have an automatic salt and pepper shaker and when I went to use it the batteries died. I thought to myself that's not even a problem! They have a little vial of mixed salt and pepper, I uncorked the patrone bottle and shook it into the food not even thinking about trying the seasoning to make sure. As soon as I got done shaking the seasoning onto the food I had a bad feeling so I called Kitty over to the kitchen and asked her what was in this bottle. She broke out in...

I (28f) was writing an e-mail for the company I work at and I frequently use GPT to correct the grammar in my writing when using the generic e-mail of the company. My boss (35m) passed behind me staring at the screen and giggle, we're pretty friendly so we talk pretty straight forward. I tell him, what are you doing? Checking my GPT history? He tells me noo but now that you mentioned it and he start looking at it on the left side of my screen with a smile. I'm not too bothered but he instantly turn around without saying a word and move on to other things. Had a weird feeling on the moment, I check my history and see it 💀. "Numbness in mouth after semen" is the third conversation tittle in my history.... I'm such a fucking idiot. 2 days ago my husband and I had fun and well things happened and at the end of a BJ I had a mouth full, nothing abnormal there but, a few second after I spat it out my mouth felt all weird and almost numb therefore, curious I ask...

So last week, I seriously fucked up. I was at a hardware store looking for a part and I couldn't find it. So I grabbed a random worker who was walking by to ask where it was. As soon as the guy stopped I recognized him as someone from my high school friend group. He was never my best friend, but we hung out a lot with the group and I liked him. I hadn’t seen him for years at this point. Not for any reason, our lives just went in different directions. So he shows us where the part was and we start talking. How you been, etc. He asks me if I’m in touch with any of the people we use to hang out with. I tell him not really but once in a while. It's been almost 25 years since we graduated, so not a surprise. Here's where I fucked up. I suddenly remember that I did see the whole group somewhere a few years back. So I say, "oh yeah I did see everybody at a funeral a few years ago. Were you there? I don’t remember you being there". He kind of gets a quizzical look on ...

There are a few missing cat posters in our neighborhood. One is on the stop sign on the edge of the cult de sac. The cat is described as a flighty cat who runs away from people. My wife saw the cat on the poster in our yard but of course it ran away. My own cat went missing about a year ago, so I own a couple of catch and release traps.(Yes she was found) I set one out in our yard with a can of cat food on a paper plate. This morning a grey fluffy cat was inside. I brought the cat inside and went to check the poster for the phone number. When I looked at the picture on the poster I realized this wasn't the same cat. They looked similar but the cat on the poster was an almost completely grey short hair tabby with a few white stripes. The cat I caught was a long hair domestic completely grey cat. Now I'm not a fan of people having indoor/outdoor cats, especially since we live country adjacent with coyotes, but I also know the cats in our neighborhood are good at staying in the...

I take an art class with my sister and we were showing the teacher (40ish married male) a video of one of those whipped espresso drinks that were popular in 2020 because he’d never heard of them. He said, “oh you basically just whip the piss out of it” and all within .5 seconds I, someone who is struggling mentally and tries to make jokes about it to get through the day, had the mental imagery and dialogue where I thought, “man I wish I could melt into a little coffee cup and have someone whip my brain up with a mini whisk so it works better” and instead I said out loud in front of the class, “I wIsH sOmEoNe wOuLd WhIp tHe PiSs OuT oF mE”. I literally have to quit the class. I can never show my face there again. TLDR: I told my art class I wanted to be whipped but I meant it like a whipped beverage not a sexy way

This happened a little over a month ago and I thought I'd post it here since nothing major has happened relating to the incident for a while now. I (19F) was commuting home from college after a late class which ended at 8pm. The campus I attend is in the downtown area of a major city, so sketchy stuff at night is a given. Because of this, I don't sit down on the subway even when there's vacant seats, just so I can walk away from a situation if need be. Everything was normal until a few minutes after I had gotten on. I was on my phone when I heard a man start yelling some incoherent sentences, but I picked a few phrases like "Your lifestyle is wrong" and "Yea I don't like your kind". I looked up only to realize that this man was talking to me, and that he was pacing back and forth in circles continuously gesturing towards me. You could take one look at this guy and you could clearly tell this man wasn't sober. I didn't understand what this g...

Not today, but a little over year ago, I (29F) had an interview with a company that I NAILED. The whole time I was thinking “yes b****, you got this” while nailing every question. They told me during the interview how impressive my cover letter was, how they wanted me to come do a paid shift to see how the position fit me, and how they thought if this position didn’t work, they could look into another at a new location they were opening in 2024. I was ready to get up, give a stellar handshake, and wait for a call I KNEW was coming. This is… until they gave me one final “for fun” question. “Who would you put on your Mount Rushmore?” I knew it was coming, so I already had thought of my answers. I gave my first three and bonded with the three male interviewers on some of our people matching up. With a bolt of confidence, I added that my fourth and final choice was Paul Hollywood from the Great British Bake Off. To my surprise, no one knew who he was or had the love for him I did. Flab...

I didn't realize how long this story is until I typed it out, so sorry for the long read For context, I'm a mailman who works out of the mid-west. I don't have to tell my fellow carriers in this area that the past 3 months have been rough. Not only has my city had snow for 3 weeks straight now, but Christmas package volume hasn't gone down very much. I've been working from 8 am to 8 pm Monday through Saturday for these 3 months, just trying to keep up with the volume. It's also been VERY cold, and all around I've been extremely stressed out and tired Well yesterday was no different, as I was told first thing in the morning that I had two routes I had to get done on my own, plus any extra packages when I got back. Not only that, but my promaster (a bigger mail truck) had been taken on Sunday for maintenance and I'd have to take a much smaller Metris car. This means I'll have much less space for all the mail and packages, but Metris' cannot driv...

Just for context, I’m the youngest person (23M) in my department and recently have been getting comfortable telling my repressed jokes to my coworkers after a few years of trying to be professional. Also I do very much have the will to live lol I am just full of Gen Z humor and have minimal situational awareness. It started with me joking that I was the DEI hire as i’m mixed and the only one who can remotely speak Spanish in the entire bank. That was well received. I then joked about the names of our customers and how bad they must of had it in high school, Even better received. One day I walk into the break room to pillage the fridge and see my boss standing around waiting for his meal in the microwave. I habitually go towards the fridge and look for left over food silently walking past him. “What’cha looking for?”, He asks me to break the awkward silence. I respond, “Oh you know, the will to live that’s all” I said with literally zero hesitation. Instantly I felt a wave of “o...

At my work we do something called soup club. Every Monday, members of soup club take turns, in groups, providing lunch for the rest of soup club. About a month ago it was my turn to provide lunch. Normally I had offered to bake some buns, while my partner made the soup. However I didn’t have time to bake buns that weekend so I stopped at a local chain bakery, and picked some up on the way in. Everyone loved the buns and said they were the best thing ever. There was never a chance for me to say that I hadn’t baked them before it was being announced around the office that I was the best baker on our whole team. So now once a month I place an order for 18 buns at this same bakery while trying desperately to recreate them. People have started to request I bring them to staff meetings or other potluck events. I’m terrified that one day I’ll be asked last minute for buns for the next day’s meeting, and the bakery won’t have any. People have told me my buns are the best part of soup club, an...

I admit I shouldn’t share these things, especially with woman friends, but I did. In 2024 I (26–M) got rejected 5 times by women I asked out. Never had a gf and recently I lost my v-card to escorts after last year’s failure. It wasn’t an epic fail though, 5 rejections in a year doesn’t seem like a lot to me. A month? Sure. But not a year. Still, my woman friend is acting like it’s an insane amount. After telling her this, she says she’s never heard of someone getting rejected so many times in one year. While I don’t understand why she thinks 5 is a huge number of rejections, I DO understand not to share everything. The only embarrassing thing — I didn’t even tell her THIS PART — is that I got reported to HR once by one of the women I asked out, and that’s actually why I stopped and hired an escort. ETA: HR said I did nothing wrong and they pretty much said they only spoke with me about because they have to per their job requirements. TLDR; I shared too much with my friend, she fre...

TL;DR Living out of a tent, trying to sustain myself and somehow rebuild, theives taken my supplies Im homeless and have been sleeping in a tent, I have been getting by, doing odd labour jobs i find online wether it be marketplace or gumtree. Anythinf that can help me have money for food. I usually manage to get a day per week doing something and manage decently. Now when i was first started sleepin in a tent, I realised soon i would need to be able to make food if i was going to be able to sustain myself. So i saved each time i had work, to put towards a portable gas cooker/hob. Camping hob. Great, I can now cook simple soups, rice and beans and whatever else. Living a homeless mans dream. Today when i returned to ny tent after going to council for appointment about my housing applicatio, II soon realised my hob, small gaming device, 2 oufits and some sentimental items had been stolen! I am beyond devastated! I havent had any work for a week, and i just have some tinned soup a...

So for some context, I'm a college wrestler. I never had any issues with my skin or wrestling related infections in high school. Since we always mopped the mats before practice. Last school year I started college and around Thanksgiving I got Impetigo really bad from a teammate. This put me on edge about 1. The college mats not being cleaned as well as our high school ones were and 2. Specifically getting Impetigo again. So later in the year when I got another rash on my face I automatically assumed Impetigo again. After all, Impetigo is like the second most common skin infection in wrestling just behind ringworm. So I go to the doctor's, they agree it looks like Impetigo, and I go on an antibiotic, clears up in about a week and I'm good to go. Until it happens again after another week of practice. This starts a cycle of practice a week, get a rash, go on antibiotics and be out for a week all the way until the season ends. At this point I'm trying everything. Moistur...

Ok, so I have a manager we'll call Linda. She is a great manager and we are really good friends, both at and outside of work. She has a granddaughter who is 4 and very silly. She's also like a sponge and will repeat absolutely everything she hears. At first I made the mistake of saying bitch in front of her, which led to her calling everyone a bitch for the next 2 hours. Yesterday (Jan 25) me and Linda worked together, and I slept over at her house and offered to babysit the kid today while she works, since I don't work today (Jan 26). Linda has a teenage granddaughter as well but she mostly stays in her room. We'll she decided to have breakfast with us and we all (me, the 4 year old, and the teen) had cereal together at the table and as some teenagers do, she heard a song on her phone and did a little dance, to which I playfully responded "bruh" in a super monotone voice. I laughed with the teenager and immediately after, the 4 year old goes "bruh...

So it's been a fairly standard week, work, routine family stuff, sober January to make up for the holiday season..... I'm spending some time this month getting some overdue vehicle maintenance done, so I got up earlier than usual and got my truck dropped off at the body shop. Was worrying the car rental pickup would be late and I'd be late getting back home for getting my daughter off to school, you know, the after the bell - walk of shame kind of thing. So rental guy shows up on time, super casual small talk, so friendly, great service, gets me dropped off at the rental shop....and he goes, that's what your driving. I look over, its a new 2024 f150 supercrew xlt, so I'm stoked (mines a 2013) it's already running warm, emergency lights blinking. He says "just go in" , so I walk over and hop in. "Whoa sweet huge screen in the console, I'm thinking, oh it's so nice and warm in here (cold morning - canada probs). Then ya, I pull out of the l...

Never posted one of these before, so thought I’d see what everyone thinks. I was driving home from my friends’ house today and some of them were walking to the pub (I didn’t want to drink today so just decided to go home), and I knew they were walking down so decided it would be funny to shout ‘Bus W***ers’ (Joke from a UK Show, the Inbetweeners) when I went past them. So I then saw 4 people our age on my friends’ street walking down the road, so I then did as I had planned (had a car behind me so didn’t stop to chat or anything). 10 seconds later I then drove past my friends, and realised I’d cracked a joke at a group of random people. So embarrassing!!! TLDR: Shouted a joke out of my car window thinking it was my friends before then driving past my friends 10 seconds later.

A couple of days ago, I contracted food poisoning. Things were going well enough, all things considered. At least a good percentage of people might have contracted food poisoning themselves, so you likely know the symptoms - upset stomach, a little nausea (that becomes too much as time passes), diarrhea. The last one was the most prevalent symptom, and it was all liquid. My body was siphoning all the liquid it could from itself and just pushing it out, to the point where it was almost completely water with every bathroom visit. This results in dehydration, and I've been feelings its effects pretty strongly, especially recently. Last night, I went to lay down so my body could feel a little better. I wasn't intending to fall asleep, but with the way that I lay down, my body has this knack for just passing out. I didn't think much of it, just because I've dealt with bathroom emergencies before and I'm not a heavy sleeper, so if something were about to happen, I can u...

So there I was browsing nsfw reddit pages like any degenerate. And I come across r/self fuck (I'm a dude) and think to myself yea I can do that. Well firstly no I couldn't. In the middle of the attempt my hand started cramping but the horny was at max so on I pursued. It kept cramping but I kept pushing it until I gave up beat my meat and went to lay down for bed. Which is when I noticed it's not a just a cramping and there is a visible lump on top of my hand. So now I'm laying here too poor/embarrassed to go to the hospital but my hand is unable to support any pressure and I can't grab anything either. My day job is non stop heavy lifting and now I gotta come up with an excuse as for why I'm going to be half useless for a few weeks... atleast hand injuries aren't unusual at my job. TLDR: played with myself so hard I strained a hand muscle and can't use it for awhile.

Obligatory “not literally today” disclaimer but technically over a year ago culminating in the fuck up a couple of days ago. I know what you’re thinking: “How could anyone fuck up by letting their kids watch the absolutely adorable and beloved animated show about a family of Australian dogs?” Please allow me to enlighten you. My wife and I have 5 year old triplet boys. As some of you with kids can probably understand, discovering Bluey a year or so ago became a godsend when you just need a break for a few minutes. Having triplets, we probably rely on those breaks more than a lot of people would recommend but a lot of people don’t have triplets either. For those of you not that familiar with Bluey, a majority of the episodes are about some silly game unique to the Heeler family. The fourth episode, Daddy Robot, is about the kids asking their dad to play Daddy Robot. Daddy Robot is where the Dad basically pretends to be the robot servant for the two children. He does what they ask an...

I'm a Registered Massage Therapist (RMT). Often during treatments, especially when using Swedish techniques, I tend to visually zone out. I find it easier to focus on what I'm doing with my eyes closed to just staring into space. Just work by feel, ya know? Today another RMT and myself were booked for a couples massage. My client was female and my coworker had her male partner. Now, today I'm more tired than usual. It was a very gusty night and the wind howling kept waking me up. So as I'm working in the warm, quiet and dimly lit room, anytime I close my eyes I can feel my body wanting to doze off. In these types of situations, a couple coworkers and myself will start doing facial exercises to try and keep ourselves awake without disturbing the client or taking away from their experience. Think like, super wide eyes, clenching and unclenching jaw, furrowing and unfurrowing brows, puffing up cheeks and sucking them in, etc.. It's weird, and it looks weird... but i...

Hello reddit, this is probably going to be my only post but i need advice and to get this off my chest because its eating me alive. I, 20 F, was out of a job last year and very depressed and unmotivated to do anything, im better now but my issue comes in with my cars registration. Because of last year I missed my insurance payment and my license got revoked, I’m not proud of it and I feel like a failure as an adult because i was to afraid to ask my parents for help given they have had money issues the past few years and now my registration is due and obviously I can’t update it given no insurance and no license, I guess what im saying is I need advice maybe on how to tell my parents. I live at home and im paying rent until I start school in fall, but my dad is a police officer and im afraid of his reaction and my mom is 10 times scarier. So reddit any advice for a majorly fucked 20 year old? TL;DR How fucked am i for not having a drivers license and strict parents? Edit: We have all ...

Due to some circumstances, a conversation struck up between me and my mum. I was talking about how mentally exhausting my parents are when the fight, and how they, when the other is not there, secretly rage and swear and scorn each other. I told my mum clearly, that she was the scarier of the two, who usually is really angry during a fight and swears a lot. And when it came to my dad, I told her that yeah he also swears sometimes. And my mother looked concerned. I though I made it pretty clear with my mum that, between the two, she swears behind the back more and rants more, and that my dad is a little bit more conservative with the swearing. But BOTH my mum and dad have this thing where they tell each other everything I say even when I tell them not to. So of course my mum learns this information and goes to pick a fight with my dad about it. She also has this issue where can't drop things. She just keeps nagging and repeating herself and can't drop a subject until it blows ...

My buddy worked for a big company for close to 10 years making a healthy salary. He spontaneously left this job recently to try his hand at streaming video games on Twitch with no backup plan in place. As his friend, I've supported him every step of the way but his streams are not taking off and most of the time I'm the only person watching him play. I almost feel like my support is encouraging him to continue down this path rather than finding another stable job. I'm worried he just blew up his career for a big bet that won't pay off and I'm not sure how to have that conversation with him. Worst of all, his most-streamed game is hardcore World of Warcraft! Note: Cross-posting from r/trueoffmychest as my post there got removed TL:DR Being an overly supportive friend has led to him doubling down on his streaming career

It was icy and dark (maybe 9 or 10pm) no cars anywhere driving around the area as the conditions were pretty bad. I was driving down a bit of a hill and started stopping for the stop sign but I wasn't stopping, absolutely zero friction. Just ice. As I was sliding though the intersection, who but a police officer started driving through the intersection. I missed the cop by only a few feet. The cop stopped hard just passed the intersection. I knew I was in a lot of trouble. I waved and said sorry, and the police officer flicked on his lights for a second and drove away. I bought a lottery ticket afterwards but I didn't win. TL;DR Ran a stop sign because of ice and a cop car happened to be driving through the intersection and I almost t-boned him. Could have been arrested but the cop drove away after I said sorry.

So, this happened last weekend when I went to my boyfriend's parents' house for the first time to meet his family. I wanted to make a good impression, you know? Be polite, act normal, the whole deal. Anyway, after dinner, I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I saw this fancy soap dispenser by the sink—like, one of those artisanal-looking ones with flowers on it—and thought, “Wow, they really care about their soap game.” I used it to wash my hands, and it smelled AMAZING. But then I noticed something weird. The soap didn’t lather… like, at all. I just assumed it was one of those fancy hand creams disguised as soap (fancy people do that, right?), so I used more, rubbed it around, and left the bathroom feeling fresh and floral. Cut to 20 minutes later at the dinner table. My boyfriend’s mom casually asks if anyone had been in the guest bathroom. I said I had, and she goes, “Oh, just checking because I noticed someone used my essential oil diffuser refill .” Y’all. THE SOAP WAS...

I (early 20s F) live in a house divided into a triplex, I have lived here for about 6 months and haven’t talked much with either of the other tenants. When I was outside another tenant, my neighbour, (30s M) and one of his friends were also outside. They invited me over for drinks and I accepted… I went over and chatted with him and his friends, male and female. We were all having a good time and it was about a 12 pack later that we both got flirty and I was sitting on the couch with him with my legs over his. One thing led to another and we went to his room. We hooked up and eventually made our way back out to the living room. I fell asleep on the couch wearing his clothes and realizing I’d left my phone in his room. I needed my phone as I worked that day and needed my own clothes. When I went back into his room he woke up and we chatted a bit about the night. All positive. I ended up staying in his room for a bit and we hooked up again, we fell back asleep before my alarm work me up...

So I have eclectic tastes. With music, specially, I listen to a wide variety of genres, sub-genres, cultural categories, etc. YouTube's algorithm struggles to keep up with me sometimes, so it will throw the most random videos at me. (I know this is not how it works, but I can't help talking about YouTube that way.) So last night YouTube recommended a video titled "Ann-Margaret: Shotgun." If you're not familiar with Ann-Margaret, she was a real eye catcher back in her day. She knew what her mama gave her, and she made a name for herself by shaking it in various states of dress - often while maintaining a contrasting innocent look. (At least, that's how I see it; I'm not from that era.) My first introduction to Ann-Margaret was on Mad Men, in which they play a clip of her singing Bye Bye Birdie. Oh my.. That clip has stuck with me over the years, but I never really looked into her. I've seen Ann-Margaret pop up in references throughout the years, but...

Okay, while this did happen a week ago, i think it's appropriate to put this here. I had been hitting the gym for a solid 2 hours. I was done with my workout and walked to the changing rooms. I showered, changed clothes, and it was time to put my socks back. (I use different socks for gym shoes) I changed my socks and I noticed that my feet were very sweaty. Not just sweaty, they were downright soggy. And I knew that the battle with the sock was inevitable. I went in Roman style, full on attack. Put the sock against my wet foot, and started pulling. I pulled and pulled, until...... snap . I wondered what happened, something was feeling off in my right hand. I looked, and goddamn , my middle finger was looking like a drawn seagull or a wave. I panicked a little, luckily I was alone in the changing room. I left the changing room fast with my shoes on without the socks. The finger started to swell, and hurt. I was holding back tears at this point, but i fought my way to the hospital...

First, I need you to know that I'm hard of hearing, this becomes part of the story later, I wear hearing aids that are Bluetooth enabled, and I hook up my work phone to my hearing aids. As my work phone is a Samsung phone it came with the default, kind of lame, Samsung ringtone. I decided I didn't like that, and changed it to jigsaw's voice saying ' I want to play a game". I then set up the work phone to connect to my Bluetooth hearing aid so I could hear the phone in my hearing aids, as I use it for GPS, and we chat each other as I work remotely, I'm a copier technician so we do need this. I figured nobody will hear the ringtone because it's just going to play in my hearing aids. I bet you can see where this is going can't you? So I'm at work installing a copier on site, the copy was installed, the training was done, it was just one more person that had to have the drivers for the copier installed on them. They were in the conference room where ...

So I was visiting my parents’ house and decided to take a bath after everyone else had gone to sleep bc my apt doesn’t have a bathtub, only a standing shower. I was just gonna use regular soap but my parents had a bottle of Fabuloso sitting on the edge of the tub and idk, I guess I somehow missed the part where it says “multi-purpose cleaner” and assumed it was a bubble bath. I never heard of that brand before and the purple color looked so cozy for a bath. Anyways the bath was fine but I did notice my balls itched like crazy after. I wouldn’t have known anything was wrong if my dad didn’t get up to pee in the middle of the night. The door was locked so I got out of the bath tthtrew a towel on and let him in, I was gonna go back to the bath when he was done w the bathroom but he was like “why the fuck are you taking a bath in fabuloso” so now I’m googling the health effects of bathing in cleaning solution FML TL;DR: I thought Fabuloso was a bubble bath

I (21) am a university student, I struggle with a lot of trauma which made me honestly a shitty person for that and I acknowledge my badness and I won't be saying I'm not wrong in this. For introduction, I'm not American nor live in the west and my country's medical care is flawed, and it's hard for me to find eligible therapist that won't sent me into conversion therapy bc I'm also queer and my country is homophobic+sexual trauma(especially hypersexualism) something that is frown upon in my country. Which by that I'm self-diagnosed but I have extensive research of the disorders I might've had, just don't have the proper resources to get diagnosed and I want to be diagnosed it's just unfortunate that if I ever did my life would be in so much danger than it is now. I'm not going to specified the disorder I might've had bc all of those disorders are pretty infamous to the internet bc of people spreading the misinformation. So, the rea...

I posted a few days ago about how I accidentally sent my mom a picture of my boyfriend's bare ass thinking I was sharing a screenshot of wordle. Well I mustered up the courage today to ask her while I was alone with her if she heeded my advice because the curiosity was gnawing at me. She said "what the one about the mortgage? Fannie Mae?"... needless to say I absolutely died and have been dying laughing with her since. I decided I needed to give her the context behind the picture and explained that I thought my bf's ass looked like spongebob's. I was surprised but she actually knew exactly what I was talking about and agreed. As some of you suspected she was trying to preserve my dignity and didn't text back anything about it. I decided to show her the original post too and she got such a kick out of both my post and the responses it got. Glad everyone got a kick out of this story, I'm going to bury my head in sand now. TL;DR: My mom saw the picture of m...

So I've struggled with substance abuse for quite a while, always searching for a high to escape reality. Well 4 months ago I developed a condition called Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) which can cause a large list of mental disorders and also leads to physcedelic visuals permanently, uncurable. Well the combination of anxiety, depression and having to accustom to a lifelong state of visual tripping only increased my desire to escape reality. I looked for solace in substances, using more but quickly found most drugs only worsened my condition. Being suicidal after 3 days of binging speed followed 2 days later by a near death overdose with opiods made me realise something needed to change. I completed 2 weeks of sobriety motivated by the idea that it was this or death and I felt my life begin to improve. But this fear wore off day by day and I relapsed. The following day my condition was far worse with imaginary creatures crawling everywhere, constant voices...

I quit vaping 113 days ago (according to Days Since app). It was really tough but I stuck with it after 7 years of being heavily addicted to nicotine in various forms. At this point I didn’t think about nicotine at all, but my girlfriend still vapes. She is trying to quit though, so she has been using my old nicotine patches with some success so far. Anyway, today we felt frisky and decided to engage in some adult activities together. Nothing out of the ordinary. We were engaged in various ‘acts’ for around 45 minutes when I started to get a bit flushed which was strange, but in the heat of the moment I disregarded it and ahem concluded the session. When I was pulling off the condom I noticed something: her nicotine patch was now firmly on my forearm! At first I laughed at how preposterous it is that it could get off of her and perfectly place itself on me, not rolled up on any end in the slightest, but then the horror set in. I was feeling flushed from the heavy dose of nicotine c...

Not today but happened a few weeks ago just before Christmas. The few weeks leading up to Christmas there's an outside Christmas market so I went there for the first time. Should've bought a bag or backpack to carry things for possible buys but didn't think of it. I bought some homemade elderberry concotion liquid in a glass bottle that was put in a paper bag. Bought a few more things and decided to put an item in there since it kinda fit. Later on I had noticed that the mouth of the elderberry bottle had ripped open the paper bag in the middle on the side and the mouth was out of the bag but I carried on thinking the bag would hold on til I got home which it did. Dumb of me. Got home and went to grab the bag from out of the car and guessing the other product must've pushed the bottle even further down so the bag ripped and into the cement of my garage the bottle goes and shattered. TLDR: didn't think much of a ripped paper bag and ended up losing $50 worth of p...

a lot of contexts needed but while i was at my homeschooling co-op group day i got bored and ended up drawing on my entire right hand. it wasn't sharpie or anything just regular pen and the normal doodles. anyway fast forward to tonight, i was in the bathroom doing my skincare and while i was putting up my hair while looking in the mirror i noticed blue zigzag veins on my chin and side of lips. i immediately started panicking thinking that i was having an allegoric reaction from smth and got into a spiral which quickly turned into a panic attack which was pretty intense and lead to me passing out on the bathroom floor for about 30 seconds. when i saw it was still there and was in a calm mindset, i took a closer look and realized i must have put my hand to my face and the ink from the star doodles i had drawn had rubbed off on my face leading to the cause of the 'mysterious veins.' "TL;DR" the ink came off eventually with soap if anyone was wondering. probably no...

Lunchtime snack today, I started pouring hot water into a cup of Chicken Noodles As I was pouring the water, I smiled and looked at my chickens and said "Hey Look - Chicken Flavoured ! my favourite !" ... which was meant to convey to my chickens how much I loved anything to do with chickens, their day to day care, their thoughts, feelings and life goals. Didnt quite go as planned. They looked at me sideways, and said "Chicken Flavoured ? How do you people KNOW what Chicken tastes like ??? Hey ?" I feel like my relationship with my chickens might be permanently damaged, after letting these words slip, even though the intent was genuine and delivered with care. It doesnt matter that the "flavouring" content is just herbs and spices, and doesnt necessarily contain any actual chicken content. It's just flavouring after all. But still - fair enough. Imagine if dog food promoted "Human Blood Flavoured" varieties ? Does anyone know how long do...

I work as a server and my work tip pools which sucks but whenever people hand me money personally, I just pocket it. Which is probably wrong but I know at least some of my coworkers also do it so I don’t feel that guilty. There were guests in for dinner today and they know my parents so naturally as they were leaving one of them handed me a $20 bill, so I just I put it in my pocket and carried on. It was in my pocket all day but then maybe a few hours later I was serving a different table and I noticed a bill sitting on the floor just in front of the bar and my manager picked it up and put it in the tip jar. I checked my pocket and of course the bill wasn’t there so I knew I must’ve dropped it. I couldn’t even go over and say “that’s mine actually” because we’re meant to pool, and I considered taking it back out and pocketing it but there are cameras and you never know so I didn’t wanna risk it. I’m just super bummed knowing that someone else is gonna get money that was personally gi...

tifu by falling asleep in class and then passing gas so loudly that it woke me up during a very quiet presentation. if anybody can offer me guidance I would greatly appreciate it bc I must return to school tmr ( I'm a senior) oh and I left afterwards so as I fell asleep, I was trying not to break wind after eating a burrito; there were class presentations going on, and my sleep was very, very lucid. i ended up tooting myself awake a toot that shook me to my core. when it woke me up, I shot up and looked around, hoping it was a dream; no one looked at me or laughed, which confused me and made me believe I was hallucinating the entire thing. i texted my dad wondering what happened when. The bell rand and I got up. thoe hoping it was not at all a dream and sadly I found out when my friend told me while laughing, I am mortified if anybody could I would appreciate it tldr: I rooted so hard it woke me up during a presentation everyone lauged when the class ended I believed I was halu...

So, this all started a couple of months ago when I realized how much I loved cleaning my ears. Cotton buds were my go-to, but over time, they just weren’t cutting it. I wanted more. One day, while mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, I got an ad for one of those fancy ear-cleaning cameras. You know, the ones that let you see inside your ear while you clean? It was basically the Rolls Royce of ear hygiene. Naturally, I bought it. The first time I used it was... life-changing. I got deeper into my ear than I ever thought possible, and the sensation was heavenly . It was so satisfying that I started doing it all the time—while working from home, watching TV, even before bed. It became my new favorite pastime. But then, something unexpected happened. One night, as I was scratching away at my ear with the camera, I realized that the sensation wasn’t just satisfying—it was... um, stimulating . Before I knew it, I had unlocked the most mind-blowing solo experience of my life, all tha...

It wasn’t today, it was over multiple days but my route to work takes me past a speed camera which has never worked - until now. Over the last week or so I’ve had 8 letters saying I’m speeding and to confirm it was me driving, which unfortunately it was. They are all high 30s or low 40s in a 30 limit. Obviously I slowed down when I got the first one but they took 2 weeks to come so I seem to have accumulated a few before I realised the camera was working. Each ticket is presumably 3 points - in the UK 12 points gets me banned from driving which I need for work so may well lose my job. Trying to decide whether to tell work now or when it gets to court. I know it’s my own fault and angry with myself but surely some warning first….. TL;DR - previously inactive speed camera kicks into action to destroy my life

my boyfriend had this friend who he recently cut off. when i went with my bf to hang out with him, i noticed him making some rude comments about lgbt people. one time i painted my bfs nails and we later went to this guys house, and he told my bf it was disgusting, calling him gay, and made a huge deal about it and told him he needed to remove it before they left the house. well at some point this guys phone died and the chargers in my car weren’t working, and he really needed to check something on his email so i let him log in on my phone. later, i’m looking for something i searched up earlier and didn’t realize i hadn’t switched out of the account before i clicked on the gmail search history tell me why is this guy not only looking at gay porn, but also obsessively searching for trans “she-male” escorts in his city and looking up the numbers on the ads to call and then searching for addresses??? and apparently i later find out that on multiple occasions he asked my bf to suck his ...