greenmangostudio

Today I went to clean out my hydro flask (which I’m not very good at keeping up with cleaning it) and I noticed black spots in the plastic straw and tiny white spots in the flask itself that would not come out with water. I drink things other than water out of the hydro flask sometimes so I’m not surprised. I threw the flask out, but now I’m freaked out because I don’t know how long I’ve been consuming mold water and I don’t know what it’s gonna do to me. I have noticed the past week that I have a cold and a stomach bug and I feel like maybe that can be related to the mold consumption? If I had to make a estimate on how long the molds been in there I feel like It can’t be too long cause the black spots in the straw are pretty big and I would have noticed them a while ago when I fill up my flask. TLDR: noticed mold in hydro flask, don’t know how long I’ve been drinking it and I’m freaked out about my health.

Disclaimer: This is my first ever confession of being molested/raped/abused as a child to anyone. This isn't a throwaway idc I was about 8yo(M) living in a remote village, was kinda nerdy and didn't have a computer of my of at the time and also not very many toys to play with so I befriended a neighbor which I think was about 14(M) that had a computer and a whole lot of toy soldiers. I often came visiting him to play in his yard with the toy soldiers pretending we'd be at war, all good and amazing, my imagination was going wild. That went on for about a year or so, then we started shifting from playing with toys to playing CS 1.6 on his PC from time to time, no biggie, I liked it as it was more realistic but things got out of hand real fast. One day he showed me some porn and asked me how I felt about it, if I ever felt any desires to do what was on the screen (mind you I was 9 by that time so I had no real Idea of the implications of the actions performed in the videos)...

Obligatory this-happened-a-few-years-ago but it’s a good story and I thought I would share. I work at a small office, maybe 12 people total, and we all share one restroom with a few other businesses in a larger office building (there are other bathrooms this one was just the closest). Now the toilet paper had been empty for almost a week, and it was the responsibility of the building manager to replace it. I step out of the office for my morning ritual around 11 am, and when I return I casually address what is essentially my whole team. We have an open desk layout so pretty much everyone can hear me. “Looks like they finally replaced the toilet paper in the bathroom” says I. My coworker asks “did they fill up the hand soap too?” “…” I hesitated just long enough for everyone to do a collective sigh, and one girl to say “ewww” under her breath. Unrelated, the company went under that same year. TL;DR I told my whole office I don’t wash my hands after going boom boom Edit: I am a t...

Obligatory this happened this morning. A little background: I'm a pizza delivery driver, and once a month, this client orders like 100 small pizzas for their staff. We've been doing this for well over 2 years, so for the better part of that, we've all had to wear face masks. Mandates were lifted in my area last month, but they held out a bit longer, so the last time I saw them, we still had to wear masks inside their facility. Today, there were no masks, and I meant to say it was nice to see their whole face, but it came out backwards. We laughed it off, but I'm genuinely embarrassed right now. TLDR; I delivered a large amount of pizza to a client who I haven't seen their whole face in almost 2 years due to mask mandates. I went to complement them, and instead stuck my foot in my mouth.

Obligatory: not today but a few years ago. Me and coworkers would prank each other, constantly, at our old job (it was retail, lots of goofing off and no one took anything there very seriously). One of my coworkers left her iPhone unlocked on the charger in the office, so I adjusted the text shortcuts to say "Lately, I've been having sexual fantasies about other women" whenever she typed "lmao". We had a good laugh about it at first, she accidentally sent that to a friend and then realized that I was the only person that would think to do something like this. She wasn't very knowledgeable on iOS and didn't know how to undo the shortcut, she asked me and I said that "I'm no therapist, but I don't think there's anything wrong with how you feel." The next day, she texted me saying she accidentally came out of the closet to her dad. I sent back that I'd help her fix it and she could just explain to him that it was the result of ...

So not actually today but the significance of a sequence of events that happened a year ago just hit me. So I used to work as a bus driver for a university, so the summers are pretty slow and one day I ended up having a long time for my lunch break, so I decided to go get some Pho, I love pho, so I ate/drank a whole large Pho and about 20 dr. Peppers and then sloshed my way back to work . Of course when I arrive in the office to pick up my keys and paperwork the dispatcher (who’s desk is right next to my bosses, and his boss) asks me how my lunch was etc. to which I reply “well I had a liquid lunch so I’m feeling quite sloshy at the moment but it was really nice!” Then strolled out to my bus to finish my day doing loops of an empty campus. Much to my surprise and Glee, an hour or two later I am pulled off my shift for a “random drug test” (these are effectively extended, paid, coffee breaks where you get to go wait at the urgent care for up to an hour messing around on your phone), it...

Right off the bat, that’s probably end game, I know. I’ve been seeing this girl for a month or so now. We have a great time, wonderful conversations, the sex is a lot of fun, and she’s recently shown me she’s fairly kinky which is exciting. Her sex drive? Super high, wants to have sex every night. Me? 30, probably dropping in my T levels to be real. I work out, I stay in shape, I’m pretty cute, I’m not a sex god. I have days where I’m exhausted from everything and staying up late isn’t something I like to do. Last night, after I worked out, we went out and socialized. We got back to hers and she wants to have sex at around 1 AM. I teased her to some effect of “oh no! I’m [her name], I’m so horny all the time” in a drunken half-awake state, then made fun of myself in the charade, in some attempt to tease when I should’ve just communicated that I was tired. Truth is is I’m insecure that I’m not always ready to go at it after a long day. She didn’t think it was funny, then we fell ...

This story is from a couple years ago but I randomly thought of it today and figured someone might get a kick out of it. About 3 years ago, I bought a tarantula(mexican red knee for those who are curious) off a friend, except, the tank was too small for it, so the second I got home, I took to Facebook to find a bigger tank. And I did. It was a 55 gallon terrarium. Had all the proper lights, a bunch of hides, dishes. Everything I needed and it was cheap. So, I messaged the guy and went to go pick it up. It was a quick and easy process, give him the cash and we loaded everything up, and as I'm getting in my car, he handed me a pillow case which confused me, but me being me, I went meh. I get home, goto haul everything in and I noticed the pillow case was moving. Freaked me out a little. So I cautiously peered opened it and there was a ball python staring at me. Damn near shit myself. Ended up finding a different tank for shippo(tarantula) and kept the ball python(named him snake mus...

This happened last week. I [23M] met a girl [22F] (let’s call her M) at a park 5 months ago. We hit off and we had similar interests and everything was going well. Last week she came over to my house at around 8PM just to chill and Netflix. Around 40-50 mins into the movie, we both started getting close to each other. She cuddled up with me and started kissing me. Just so you all know, I was never this close to a girl before, in other words I was a virgin. I never hugged a girl and I never kissed a girl so all of this was new to me. We made out for 10 mins and we slowly switched started getting a little more nude, she removed my pants and I remove her tops. She sat on top of me and continued kissing me. She slowly started going towards my groin area to give me a BJ and that’s when I realised I hadn’t shaved/cut the hair near my dick in at least 2-3 months. I didn’t want her to have my ball hair in her mouth so I told her that I had to pee and went to my bathroom. I took my electr...

Just over two years ago, a well planned, elaborate prank on my son Josh went disastrously wrong. The original post is here - it's not very safe for work. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/esbpua/tifu_by_pranking_my_son A few weeks ago it was my son's 16 th birthday, and, as expected he pranked me. Nothing as tortuous as I did to him, however I think it's safe to say the prank war is over. He uploads his pranks to tik-tok, so I won't spoil it, perhaps you'll see it there. I'll answer a few questions that were in my inbox as a way of updating. If anyone has anything else they'd like to ask, I'll attempt to answer them here. What happened to the video footage? The digital footage that was recorded by the production company was deleted under the supervision of an off duty magistrate. I was not present at the time. What happened to Josh's friend? After speaking to his friend, I had to tell his parents what happened. I did this before the pro...

Obligatory this didn’t happen today but years ago. A story of laughter and shame. I hate even writing this because all the TIFU sex stories are borderline fiction. My wife and I had sex but of course no towel was around so I grabbed the nearest thing which was a shirt and tossed that shit into the dirty hamper no big deal. The next day I said let’s go for a walk/run exercise again no big deal. I think in my infinite wisdom “Hey, why are you going to get out of bed and waste a clean shirt to run outside then come back and shower? Get a worn one.” Mistake. We start our walk and in the middle of it my wife is walking behind me and asks me where I got that shirt? Of course I said the dirty pile I just wore it why waste anything thinking I’m being a responsible person. Wrong. She goes “Oh my god. You’re wearing the cum shirt!” I just stopped and said what. She repeated that I was wearing the cum shirt while laughing endlessly. This fucking shirt is black and I didn’t even look or think ...

Last night, the bae and I engaged in our adult sexy pleasures. However, this time the alcohol gave me super deep throating powers. My gag reflex was practically non existent, so of course… I kept doing it for at least half an hour. Very unlike me. Great night, no fuck ups. Well, this afternoon I had a dentist appointment for teeth cleaning. Right before the appointment I brush my teeth thoroughly because I don’t want them to think I have trash oral hygiene. After I’m done cleaning, I give my mouth the full inspection as if I were in the chair at the dentist and OH MY GOSH!!!! I screamed in sheer horror. My entire throat is red and bruised with some bright red spots, and it looks so terrible. I immediately start my google research to see what is happening to my throat. Not strep, not a cold, not tonsillitis, not a sti/std… instead it is bruising from getting my throat punched in by his penis. And of course, the only place I could confirm this was Reddit when I saw a similar post, and...

Obligatory this did not happen today but rather a few weeks ago, and now after putting two and two together it also happened once last year. Now I'm sure we all know how amazing heroin is, which is why they tell you not to do it, but I'll be damned if someone is gonna tell me what to do. Well, lo and behold doing heroin really fucking sucks actually, which is why I am going on my third year clean now and life has greatly improved. I initially got clean via Methadone, and then the past year transferred over to Buprenorphine, which is a medicine designed to block your opioid receptors and curb withdrawal symptoms. I know this technically is not 100% "clean" to some people, but it works for me and am very happy with how much progress I've made over the years, as I slowly ween down off the medicines. Flash back to about a year ago. Now if there is one thing I love more than heroin, its eating out a vagina like I'm a death row inmate and its my last meal. Hands ...

Obligatory this happened yesterday not today. Also throwaway account because I'm appalled.... So recently my partner (32M) and I (27F) started experimenting with anal play. Nothing too crazy. I purchased some anal trainer plugs that are smaller sizes and meant to help you work up to actually wearing a plug. They come in 3 sizes and are made of a soft silicone. The idea is to get your muscles used to relaxing enough to let an object inside. I started small, of course, with no issue and moved up to the 2nd size rather recently. I was chatting with my partner and he suggested some kink-adjacent activities like wearing my plug in public. I was thrilled with the idea and got on board right away! (I'm dumb and thought wearing it to work would be a good plan....) So yesterday morning I got all lubed up, slipped in my tier 2 plug and finished getting ready for work. Driving to work I had no issues as the tier 2 was quite comfortable. Lets just say I got pretty busy at work and comp...

Almost every night I scroll reddit on mobile before going to bed. And let's say that some of these nights I look for NSFW stuff on reddit before going to bed. Sometimes the two mix together into a fun time. I use Boost for Reddit, there's a button that lets you go to random subs, or in last night's case, random NSFW subs. I started the deed while occasionally changing subreddits. Sometimes you get really great subreddits, sometimes you don't. Well, last night after an hour of pressing the button over and over, I ended up on r/RepressedGoneWild . It was the best mix of beautiful people and taboo, so I cranked shit up to 11. After some time I was just ready to bust, but the warrior in me said to go find another subreddit, and so I pressed the button. HOWEVER I ended up pressing the wrong button. Instead of pressing random NSFW, I pressed only random, and it brought me to r/Florida . The stars aligned and I was actually going to bust, and the first thing I see in that...

I am usually a quite shy guy, hence the throwaway account. I don't really have the need to share this kind of story publicly, but this is worth sharing. A few days back, I ordered used panties from the internet. There is this more or less anonymous local website, where you can order them and they will be delivered to the nearest shop in a completely ordinary package. The sender doesn't know who ordered them, because they just get the code for the shipping service from the website, and you don't know who sent them. Elegant, and quite cheap actually. I've decided to order used panties after a lot of thought. I mean years of thoughts. I won't deny it, I always liked the smell of used panties. Not because of the smell itself, but because of the pheromones. Just a sniff and something in my brain pings and I get a strong hit, like a small orgasm. Just pure pleasure, on some deep animalistic level. Naturally, in my past, I've sniffed panties from several women. On...

It all started on a Monday afternoon, me being the stupid guy that I am thought to myself if it would be a good idea to shave my thighs. I have really hairy legs in general and the thighs were no exception, pretty standard for a guy tbh. Most people would use maybe shaving cream or soap so as to not get any skin irritation, either I was a masochist that day or I wanted to teach future me a lesson because I raw dogged it and didn’t use any cream or soap at all. 3 bladed razor and moving very quickly against sensitive skin is a beautiful storm that just arrived yesterday. What was even stupider is I shaved them in a way that it stops at the knees so that when I were shorts it looks like I didn’t shave my thighs at all. I am now riddled with skin irritation, razor burn and pimples here and there. Anywhere I sit is uncomfortable, either with it or without pants. Anytime I get goosebumps my thighs burn in pain. The itching is well as horrible as one would expect. The amount of red patche...

I(22M) have a girlfriend (20F) that loves me so much. I have self esteem issues and I felt like I don't deserve her compliments. So I tried finding explanations for why she's complimenting me like that. I shouldn't have doubted her at all, I'm such an idiot. This is my first relationship and I don't know what to say and what could hurt her, and I'm a stupid person in general. I told her that sometimes I feel like her compliments are because she feels that I shouldn't feel uncomfortable. She felt very bad and started crying. She kept asking me if I believe her love is genuine or not. I'm such a fkin idiot. I didn't know what to say. I didn't think of it that way when I told her that, but after she said it, the implications were clear. But, I felt that if she didn't genuinely love me so much she wouldn't have cried and reacted the way she did. I told her this. She seems to have gotten better now but I feel so terrible for making her go ...

I'm a biomedical engineer, I make cool medical devices. A really, really important part of developing medical devices is to understand the necessary regulations to ensure that the FDA doesn't drop the hammer on you. Brief FDA background: I'm going to grossly oversimplify this for brevity's sake, but every medical device category has a 3 letter product code that determines how its reviewed and the controls that are put on it. If there isn't an existing code, then they'll make a new one for it. For some low-to-moderate risk devices, you can point to an existing device on the market and use it as a benchmark for safety. "This device is on the market and is safe. We have a bunch of data to show we're substantially equivalent. Please don't make us do years of human studies to demonstrate that our new tongue depressor design won't kill anyone." The FDA has a super handy database where you can type in the product code and it'll give you a li...

Ok so here it goes. Throwaway for obvious reasons. So I'm stuck at home isolating and felt a little.. yinno, like I wanted to fool around. Well I live alone and not ashamed to say I have a wide variety of sex toys and things I like to use... So, I get scrolling on fetlife, start talking to some regulars (might me important to note I'm a total submissive and follow whatever is told). So there I am, playing around, getting told what to do, he asked me to plug my ass with my anal beads... Okay yeah not an issue. In goes the beads, leaving the last one and the ring out. We must have been fooling around for around 2 hours, he was fully edging me, not allowing me to finish, until well... He lets me. To say I've edged for 6 days now... It's safe to say it was an intense orgasm. Well I finished, he told me to clean up, of which I did.. and we go back to talking like normal. An hour passes and he tells me I can take my beads out now.... This is the sudden moment I forgot t...

TIFU By not checking myself before wrecking myself… My wife is gone for work so tonight I decided on a simple dinner. I went ahead and threw a frozen pizza in the oven… Once it was done I got 3 large slices on double paper plates (Yes I skipped the step where I allow the pizza to cool. Like who has time for that?). After getting in bed to eat dinner which I don’t normally do but tonight was an exception as I was alone, I decided to pick a show to watch. I decided to watch some Bigfoot show and it must not have been that entertaining because it allowed my mind to wander. I began thinking about the movie big daddy for some reason… And then all of a sudden I remembered “Damn you Scuba Steve!” After chuckling to myself I have a thought… Was scuba Steve a real toy? I honestly had no idea but I had to find out. My phone was all the way across the bedroom on the nightstand so in an excited hurry to find the truth flipped the sheet off of me as well as my plate of steaming hot pizza. Most of...

Was about to head out and wanted to put my watch on. Went to the charger to grab it and it wasn't there. Oh OK I must have put it on the table. Nope not there either. Did I take it off and put it by the side table, no. Had I put it by one of the other power points for charging? No. I started searching all the rooms of the house I know I've never left it in before. Of course not there. Now the irrational thoughts started coming. I went to an appointment yesterday, did I take it off and leave it there. Oh that would be a pain having to sheepishly go back and ask to look for my watch. But no I'm sure I had it when I got home. Could it be possible I left the door unlocked and someone has walked in and ignored everything else to take just my watch? Feels far fetched. I started a second cycle of the house, nope still not on the charger, not on table or side table. Where could it be, this is bizarre. How could a watch just disappear?? Yeah of course it was on my wrist. You hea...

Obligatory this happened about a month ago, but I’m feeling the effects today. So a little background, I live in a pretty rural area that has some smaller college towns scattered around it. I spent a lot of my life there, but my cousin (and closest friend) grew up in the area and is pretty popular, so whenever I came to visit in middle school/high school I’d usually hang with him and his friends. For whatever reason, I’ve always been VERY popular with his female friends, and it’s been a running joke between us that he needs to hide me from his female friends because I’ve had multiple flings with many of them. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. But they’re all really cute so I feel like it’s defensible. Anyways, about a month ago I went out partying with him and one of his few female friends I actually never got with. She was always very sweet and she’s clearly really smart, so I was very surprised when she started being extremely forward and somewhat vulgar with me. She was s...

TL;DR: a millionaire slapped another millionaire and I got into trouble. This happened just a couple days ago during the Oscars and honestly I am still not quite sure what I did wrong but my wife was pissed off and gave me the silent treatment for a full day. We where watching the Oscars happily until we got to the point where Will slapped Chris and my wife looks at me disgustedly saying something like “you men are all like this, resorting to violence for no good reason” to which I reply that I don’t think I am like that and I would have let the joke pass without saying anything. But then she replied “Yep, I am sure you would not have stood up for me”. I politely point out that these two points are kinda at odds and she typically is more than strong enough to stand up for herself without me making a fool of myself or making things worse but then we start talking about feminism and before I know it I am trying to sleep on the couch thinking what the hell did just happen.

I work as a concierge in a residential building. I sit at the front desk, in the lobby where residents enter and exit the building. We have a large TV on the wall of the lobby, which I usually have on in the background. The TV was on Channel 4, one of the standard terrestrial TV stations in the UK. The other day a resident walked in around 2am, and from the corner of my eye, I noticed her stop in front of the TV, take out her phone and point it at the TV as if she was recording, all while giggling. I looked over at the TV to see a naked shrivelled penis staring right at me. It was a dating show called Naked Attraction, where the contestants appear nude. Channel 4 is a normal family friendly channel during the day, but after the watershed nudity is allowed. The resident laughed and said she was gonna sent it to her friend. I quickly changed the channel and thanked God that she wasn't one of the Karen's who would report it to management, and that it wasn't someone with a k...

Well not actually today , more like 7 years ago.. The day started pretty normal , I had a day off from work and a full schedule on how to get the best out of it The plan was to do all the boring stuff that I had to take care of right in the morning , seeing my girlfriend for a bit after that and then in the evening to go to my first ever live soccer game with friends (I'm not a soccer fan but I never been to a big event like that and was super excited about it) so I started the day by going to dentist in the morning (had a broken teeth from hitting myself by mistake with a piece of iron but that's a story for a different tifu) Right after the dentist I noticed my head starting to hurt I linked it to the dentist visit and didn't think about it much.. But as the day past the pain got stronger and stronger and by the time I saw my girlfriend I was in a extreme pain but I didn't want to miss the event that I was so excited about and thought my friends will see a heada...

I am a freshman at college and that day we were having our second maths tutorial. It was on Google meet (with videos off) due to COVID restrictions. So basically, I was on a meet with a bunch of strangers that were going to be my friends for atleast the next four years and fucked up in the beginning. Maths has always been my least favorite subject and has always bored me to death. So as usual was getting bored out of my mind while the other students and the TA were discussing answers. was just scrolling through the list of participants aimlessly, looking at people's pfp and getting familiar with the facesl was going to meet very soon after the soul crushing lockdowns. Then noticed a girl with specs on the list and tbh she kinda looked cute. But her dp was a bit out of focus and blurry. So decided to look closer and pinned her on my screen to get a better look at her face. Then I hear a voice calling for my name and asking me to share my solution to a problem. I panicked and starte...

Well not actually today , more like 7 years ago.. The day started pretty normal , I had a day off from work and a full schedule on how to get the best out of it The plan was to do all the boring stuff that I had to take care of right in the morning , seeing my girlfriend for a bit after that and then in the evening to go to my first ever live soccer game with friends (I'm not a soccer fan but I never been to a big event like that and was super excited about it) so I started the day by going to dentist in the morning (had a broken teeth from hitting myself by mistake with a piece of iron but that's a story for a different tifu) Right after the dentist I noticed my head starting to hurt I linked it to the dentist visit and didn't think about it much.. But as the day past the pain got stronger and stronger and by the time I saw my girlfriend I was in a extreme pain but I didn't want to miss the event that I was so excited about and thought my friends will see a heada...

This happened just a few minutes ago and I straight up had to take a second to recoup myself. To preface I am currently working on statistics using R, so basically whenever R gives me errors with my coding or weird outputs I like to audibly give it a confused “Hello????”. As some background . I work in a basement with one window so it gets nice and dark, and when I really lock into my work I am good at drowning out my surroundings. So I was sitting there coding away when it gave me a weird output so I got it with my standard “hello??”. The reason why this was a mess up today is because I thought I was home alone and didn’t realize that my parents had come home already. It just so happened that one of my parents was walking by to grab something from the fridge when I said that so naturally they gave me a good old loud “HELLO” back. I have never had such a sheer amount of confusion and fear drop over me in my life. It took me a few seconds to comprehend what had just possibly happened, ...

Well, this happened about 30min ago; so I did what all good Redditors do...created a throwaway account and write about it. I was in a staff meeting, via Zoom, with my supervisor, a couple of colleagues who are at the same level as me, and then a handful of people we supervise. The job or field isn't important. In the meeting, my colleague says she created a new system of reporting and that it's going great. She loves how convenient it is and how it allows instant feedback. Our supervisor agrees and thinks it's truly awesome. I, wasn't really paying attention, feign interest and ask what the system is. My colleague says it a Google form and then goes into how cool the reporting system is and asks what I think of it. Without thinking I left out a laugh. Not a chuckle. But a full on laugh. Our supervisor asks what's so funny. I try to play it off but can't pull off a lie. I say it's the same thing I did over a year ago and no one liked it so I scrapped it. ...

Some background (M 24years) i was at a small party (25 man) of my best friend about 2 weeks ago. He has a girlfriend who i got to know over the years we are just semi friends if that makes sense i invite her to my parties she invites me to hers but thats basicly our entire text convo. So i was at this party started talking to a girl named Sarah (not her real name). She was alone at the party she was a close friend of my best friends girlfriend. So nothing really happened at the party we just talked and we clicked REALLY WELL got her snapchat and number. (I am more of a presonality guy then a going for looks guy so i was very interrested in her) So we started chatting and hit it off even more after a week orso I asked her if she wanted to get a drink sometime? She agreed so the next day in the afternoon we went out. REMEMBER at this point I havent asked if she is in a relationship neither has she mentioned anything to me that she is in one. So the day arrives I ask her if she needs ...

Let me set the scene for this story. It’s 6 am, I am a 24 year old chick, my cats are loose downstairs and my grandmother is sleeping upstairs. So I like cookie dough. And cookies. Who doesn’t? But I don’t like the oven, it kinda scares me to be honest. I saw the cookie dough in the fridge and I went “huh, I bet I can microwave that! And if it fails oh well I can just eat it raw.” And yes, I know, salmonella don’t eat raw cookie dough. That’s not today’s fuck up. I glanced at the packaging to get an idea of how long to put it in for, and it said, explicitly, DO NOT MICROWAVE COOKIE DOUGH. I scoffed. I shouldn’t have. I popped a chunk of cookie dough (m&m if you were curious) on a plate in the microwave, smooshed it flat and set it for 5 minutes. Maybe if I’d been watching, things would’ve been fine. But no. Me being the intelligent bitch that I am, fucked around on my phone. When I finally glanced up, white smoke was billowing from the microwave. Fuck. I did it Again. I threw ope...

A bit of context first: So yesterday I was working on an assignment (due tomorrow) and my “friend” steals my USB with all of my saved work on it (because it also has games on it that he wants).This would not normally be an issue, but then goes on to copy one game and DELETE ALL OF ITS CONTENTS. I was extremely pissed and asked to see the recycle bin, which he refused to show me, then telling me later that day that he deleted it bc he’s a dickhead like that. Fortunately I still had an auto saved copy from a while back, but I still lost a lot of work. Fast forward to today, I’m thinking how I can get him back, when I have an idea. I got one of the old COD games from my friend and set it up so that when the game folder was opened, it ran a batch command that opened a porn website over and over. I knew he would try stealing it again and couldn’t wait for him to be busted. Just when I was ready to lay the trap I went to edit the file and instead of right clicking, I opened it. My mouse c...

In my junior year in high school I had to transfer schools, I actually ended up fitting in quite well with my fellow junior students and the people in the drama club, and sometimes I would hear people talking about “the triplets”. Now, I had the excuse of being two years their senior and not being in any of the same clubs, but I had never seen these triplets I would usually see two identical girls walking around together (spoiler alert: yep those are two thirds of the triplets) but I never saw three identical people walking around together so I just figured that the triplets were fraternal and carried on with my life. Two months after class started though my easily explainable circunstancial mistake morphed into the literal height of airheadedness and stupidity. My mom decided to join an after school yoga class for parents and she would constantly talk about a fellow mom that did the class with her that had had triplets and was “in such good shape!!”; after one of her classes she tu...

Obligatory happened 1 hour ago. My GF and I went to spend some time in the backyard, as it is a lovely day. Tending to my garden and letting the cats soak up the sun. GF had started the Roomba before going outside. We decided to pick up some broken glass in the yard so she heads inside to put on another pair of shoes. She tries to open the door and says "uh oh!". The Roomba had pushed the locking bar for the sliding glass door in, preventing us from opening it. We looked through the glass door to see if the garage door entrance was unlocked, but of course it wasn't. The Roomba effectively locked us out! Between laughing she was asking if I had my keys, which I did not. Had to call my brother who lives near by with an extra set to let us in. Everyone was laughing hysterically. Called my dad to tell him as I knew he would think it was hilarious as well, and he got quite a cackle in. TL;DR: Went outside with the Roomba running and it managed to lock us out.

Yesterday I had a job interview. I get pretty nervous and told my friend. He advised that I look up questions online to practice. That really helped so yesterday's interview went pretty well for me. I decided to text my friend that it went ok and that the questions really helped. Went to work and didn't think much of it when he didn't reply because he's a bad texter. Today he texted me about stuff, and I realized what I texted to him yesterday wasn't in the chat history. I'm like, well who did I text? Check to see I texted one of my clients parent. I die inside. I apologize to her. She says it's ok and she's happy it went well 🙂 I'm still dying. I tell my friend he says it's alright. It's not alright. I'm still dying. I'm probably going to get in trouble. Tl;Dr texted a clients parent that my job interview went ok.

I’ve been seeing this girl I met off of Tinder for about a week and decide to take her to a sex shop for her birthday. We pick out a few items and head back to my place. Fast forward to things getting kinda kinky and we are both enjoying ourselves. She’s very loud and I didn’t want my upstairs neighbor to hear, so I shoved a sock in her mouth. Suddenly she starts screaming and I know something is very very wrong, so I take the sock out of her mouth and she is bleeding everywhere. The piece under tongue that holds it in place ripped when I put the sock in her mouth. She’s crying, I’m flipping out because the last thing I would ever do is hurt someone. So we ended up in the ER until 4am on her birthday. TL;DR - I shoved a sock into my date’s mouth during sexy time, ripped the thingy under her tongue, and spent her birthday in the ER. Edit - This was entirely consensual until the injury happened. Also, we are both women.

A few minutes ago I saw this woman rolling a round table top across the residential area, to the cumbersome disposal box. The table is almost as big as her and she's struggling, so I offer my help. And she refuses. The thing is, I'm in a wheelchair. That said, arms are fully fonctionnal, legs are still strong but can't walk because of intense spasticity. So I tell her that if we put one end of the table on my legs and she holds the other end, we can do the trip easily, no effort. But she tells me "No I'll break your legs with it" with a cute embarrassed smile. I want to tell her that I could do squats whit her on my shoulders, but I, of all people, should know better. People have been offering to push my wheelchair on every single slope I proceeded to climb since I got on the damn thing. And most of them won't take no for an answer even when my arms are bigger than their legs and I could probably help them up myself. Some will argue for minutes, waisting ...

TLDR at the bottom. Obligatory yes, this actually happened today. This morning, around 10am, I wake up on the floor (that’s a different story), delirious from getting very little sleep, and realize that I promised my good friend Jimbo I’d hang out with him at 11. The tired is overwhelming; I text asking if we can hang later. The consensus is yes, but we definitely won’t have a lot of time. 11 it is, so be it. I start cleaning up my dorm. It’s been a hard week—there’s a giant laundry pile that I cover with a blanket, abundant trash that I remove, crumbs that I pick up. I’m interrupted in my cleaning process by a knock-knock-knock, ten minutes early. “You’re early, my dude,” I say, frantically picking up a bunch of paper grocery bags to put them in a recycling bin. “Sorry, I’ll wait out here,” Jimbo says through the door. I do a quick look over my shoulder while I’m walking to the door to make sure that there’s nothing terrible lying around, and then open the door, walking past Jimb...

This happened back in high school. I was a F16 year old nerdy, introvert who was best friends with J (18F)) an outgoing girl with many friends. We were in a group with different people but somewhat consistently hanging out with two 18 year old guys B and C during one summer break. I had a mild crush with C as I thought he was cute and funny. He was a bit of an introvert too and we hit it off well with some common interests. J told me that the C has a major crush on me as well. So, I sort of let that interest grew into infatuation - J would actively encourage it and kept telling me that C had developed feelings for me - "he is always looking for you, see how he looks at you and how he is always talking to you, he is just waiting for you to tell him your feelings because he is shy…" Sadly I was a naive girl and believed J. So, I confessed my feelings to C. He was very kind and said that he was flattered but that he was gay. He knew I was shy so wanted to befriend me. Behin...

Obligatory this happened literally 30 minutes ago. I (21F) live with my parents and we have a two-story house where the bathroom is on the second floor. When I was a child we used to hang out a lot in the living room on the first floor. Ever since then whenever I go to take my shower in the evening and they/we are in the living room I announce it to my family that “I’ll go take a shower”… idk if any other family does this but this is to let them know I will be in there for a while, they don’t knock on the door, my mother doesn’t shout my name looking for me etc. It’s just more convenient. If you are someone with a clitoris and a detachable shower head you may know where this is going… yeah I’ve been a bit obsessed with masturbating with a shower head since I was probably 17. It’s so fucking quick and intense. Goes unnoticed because it sounds like you’re just showering. Literally done within 10 minutes tops. For some time now while heading to the bathroom I’ve been thinking how emba...

The realization of this tifu happened yesterday but has actually been occurring for the past 3 weeks of my 6 week old sons life. He is our first child so we are still getting the hang of raising a small human. We are learning things though. One thing I noticed was he sweats a lot when he sleeps at night. So I being a problem solving new dad immediately thought we’ll let’s turn down the heat a little bit and put him into lighter outfits. None of my ideas really seemed to work. So yesterday morning I was once again putting an outfit on a damp baby thinking something like “wow this little guy runs hot.” After that it was time for a diaper change. I remember thinking “It’s amazing how much a baby can sweat and have such a a light diaper in the morning.” So, I’ve always put diapers on but I never really learned how to do it. After some interneting I realized that I’ve been putting diapers on wrong since we bumped up a size. The front was riding a little low. Then it all came together d...

This literally just happened and I'm freaking out. I've been learning Chinese for the past few months and have a great tutor who I've gotten along with, and her lessons are pretty interactive utilizing shared Google docs. Well in today's lesson we were doing an exercise and I was copy and pasting some text onto the slide, but when I hit Ctrl+v a screenshot of some porn I was watching 2 DAYS AGO just pasted onto the slide. My heart sank, I Ctrl+z as soon as I saw it but there's a delay on Google slides to sync between devices, so it definitely showed up on her screen for a second. Neither of us really acknowledged it and I tried to ask a question to distract from the topic immediately. This has never happened before, my keyboard doesn't even have a prtscrn button, so I'm perplexed as to how a screenshot of my screen was taken from DAYS AGO and was STILL on my clipboard, but I feel like a line was crossed and I hate myself lol. I don't think anything w...

This happened a while ago. for context this isnt really about my dog, more or less the dog that is in love with him. so when we got our black lab. The wife and I decided it would be best to neuter him when the time came, as we had no plans to let him sire puppies and ive read that if you do it you should do it before he has the chance to have sex so he doesnt know what hes missing. which is what we did. for our boy, it was the right call. but. for the yellow lab that is in love with him.... every month we take our lab to a pet groomer to get him cleaned professionally. the groomers have a yellow lab, and they have been trying to breed her FOREVER. but she HATES other male dogs..... except for ours. she will actually get behind our dog and start mounting him like.. HEY.. DO THIS TO ME!! but because our boy has no balls (literally) he has no idea what is going on and just kind of walks away from her lol. it's sad to think that the only dog she is interested in is incapable ...

The title sounds tough, I know. So I got a story here that's totally a big TIFU and AITA alike. So of course I thought it would be wise to hear the infamous internet strangers opinions on the matter. Here's the deal: I'm a 25 years old guy that happened to get my now ex girlfriend pregnant without planning insert complaints and comments on irresponsible sex . We were both unemployed at the time, our families are financially unstable, plus I'm going through a recovery process of a psychosis. Yes, it is that dramatic. Now for 10 days, after the test was positive I was in denial of the whole thing, and I didn't have the courage to take the position of being pro abortion in this particular case because I knew it would be a big hit on the relationship, considering she's 100% anti-abortion. Furthermore I was psychologically sick at the time. So, after speaking with my family, I build up the courage to speak with her and tell her, for the reasons above, it'...

I don't drink, it's not my thing. I went out one time with my friends and that was the first time I got drunk. On that night we drank a crazy amount of vodka cocktails and all sorts of things and using that experience of how much and how long it took for me to get seriously drunk I figured this fancy looking Japanese alcoholic sodas wouldn't be a bad idea for my night off work. I bought them, around 5 500ml cans, my expectations were I'd play Elden ring while drinking these and maybe after all 5 cans I'd feel somewhat tipsy at which point I could sleep. Oh no, I didn't turn out like that. What I drank was Kirin Strong Zero and my god it works faster than horse tranquiliser. I get my first can, pour it out and it tastes alright, not great. Kind of like a cheap lemonade brand or something. Couple minutes later I feel it. I'm already tipsy and I'm like, well shit. At this point I shouldn't have touched another but I got another and I was majorly dr...

This happened a month ago. I was working on a film set, and the location was in the woods in the middle of nowhere. Driving to set, the winding roads were tiny, and there were no street lights or signs. There was no way to know what the speed limit was, but on a few occasions, there was another driver they went zooming by. I get to the shoot with no trouble, and we wrapped for the day a bit before 11. Now all day, it was a no-service area phone-wise, but thankfully my GPS was working. I got the high beams on, taking it slow, top speed of 30mph. I'm going along being extra cautious when after 20 mins or so, I come to this sharp bend in the road. I take it and go downhill a bit, and suddenly I'm in the water. I'd come to find out later there was a creek next to the road, and it tends to flood this time of year. I go forward a couple of feet, more so in surprise than the thought of I can make it through this with my little sedan when my car cuts off. I try to get it to turn...