greenmangostudio

I am so dumb honestly today a girl added me on snap and we started chatting normally. We send each other some pics of our faces and how we look. Then she wanted my Instagram where I already knew something was wrong because of her scammy account. At this point I wanted to play along with the scam so I accepted her request at the end this was very dumb. Then she said she is horny and wanted to exchange some pics this was the confirmation that she tries to scam me. Dumb as I am I thought it would be funny to send her some fake dick pics from the internet and immediately she threatened me she would send the fake dickpics with my face to my followers. So now there is my face with some fake dickpics going around. I hope they get it that the pics are fake otherwise it would be a very shitty situation but atleast it’s a funny story I can share with my friends. The embarrassing part is that people who follow I don’t even know will see this and maybe even think it’s real even tough it should be...

So this Friday evening my girlfriend and I were having a great night! We were in the middle of having sex and I was allll the way downtown and determined to make her cum. I suddenly felt a teeny tiny snap or crack in my jaw and thought absolutely nothing of it. there was barely any pain. I didnt even consider it worth mentioning at the time. When we finished, we went to bed excited for the rest of the weekend. Saturday was also fine for the most part, we did a bunch of shopping in preparation for a camping trip this upcoming Wednesday. I needed comfy shoes for walking around on mud and rocks so I purchased some bright orange crocs and joked that wearing them is effectively an advertisement that I was taken. We had ramen for lunch. Maybe I didnt notice any pain during lunch because I had soup, but when I got home and had a solid snack I suddenly felt intense pain on the left side of my face. I could no longer bite down on my back teeth either. I told my gf that I first felt something...

I work at a print shop doing in-house graphic design as well as sending to production those designs. No one is perfect, I designed and ordered 1000 presentation folders. Approved by the client, good to go! ​ Fast forward a few days later, production was done. Quality was amazing, nice high gloss presentation folders with two pockets. We delivered it the client. Few minutes later we got a call from them about the back side of the folders. I forgot to submit the backside of the folders to production. So essentially the template had the front cover, and the pocket designs. Damn, there goes $700 and some change.... (cost of production). ​ I did not panic but I knew my boss was not going to feel good about it. I told him he can take it out of my paycheck next payday so I can cover the lost cost. We ended up re-submitting the folders again with the correct designs. ​ Later that day once I'm already home he calls me.... he wanted to let me know that I don't have to worry about ...

what the title says. today, i had a weird and almost unquenchable craving for cheese. it was bad, really bad. it felt like im a pregnant woman craving something weird. in my cheese craven misery, i got up and went to my kitchen to find some cheese. its about 1 am at this point, and im not thinking super straight, so i thought "fuck it, let's microwave the entire block like i did during my childhood!" and i did. i took the cheese out and put it in a plate, microwaving it for about 2 minutes. it came out all gooey and nice, like what you'd expect on a grilled sandwich. i sat down and started gobbling on the now melted cheese. for the record, i am not lactose intolerant. i feasted upon the cheese like it was my last meal before an execution. i am now laid on my bed, regretting every life decision leading up to this point. i have never felt such horrible stomach pains from eating cheese. it feels like i am going to implode. everything hurts and im sweating from the pa...

I guess technically, yesterday I fucked up, today I found out. I bought a 30 oz container of deluxe mixed nuts (no peanuts). Yesterday, I was bored and snacky. I ended up eating more than half of them in about a 5-hour span. The first sign I had fucked up was when I woke up this morning with gut splitting lower abdominal pain. The pain was all across my lower abdomin and radiated into my back. After a couple of hours, I had to go #2. That's when the true horror starts. I spent 30+ minutes feeling like I was pushing flaming cacti out of my rectum. My colon was spasming. Tears streaked my face. My legs went numb. I still didn't understand what was going on. It wasn't until I wiped and saw a uh... slurry of barely digested nuts that it I understood. Those little shards were tearing their way through my system. Fortunately, it hasn't been ongoing. Once it was all out, the pain started to subside. Lesson learned: Don't eat too many nuts. TLDR; I ate over a pound ...

TIFU by wearing a deep V-neck shirt that showed off way too much male cleavage. It all started innocently enough when I decided to change up my style and try something different. I saw some trendy celebrities rocking this look, and I thought, "Hey, why not give it a shot?" Little did I know that my modesty would go right out the window. I picked out the most daring V-neck shirt I could find, thinking I'd look cool and confident. As I got ready to go out, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and felt a mix of pride and uncertainty. But I brushed off my doubts, figuring I could pull it off like those famous guys. I went about my day, not thinking too much about my daring fashion choice. However, the attention I received soon made me realize my mistake. People's gazes seemed to linger longer than usual, and I could hear a few snickers here and there. At first, I thought I was just being self-conscious, but then a friend discreetly pointed out that I was revealin...

Obligatory this didn't happen today, it actually happened last November. I live in South Africa where crime is pretty high and I work in a retail IT store. So this guy and lady come into the store, all of the staff were pretty busy, and they look around pick up a R2500($140) router, walk around to the other side of the store, and the guy (who has a special harness built in under his shirt) puts the router under his shirt and jacket, and the 2 walk out. I was walking to the front of the shop to check check something and I noticed his jacket looked a little bit square. So as they walked out the store into the parking lot towards their getaway vehicle, I followed them to the front my shop and watched them. As he got about 4 cars away from their car I saw him put his hands behind his back to start removing the router. As this happened I ran to them, grabbed the top of his shirt and jacket and pulled the router away from his back, ripping his shirt and jacket. The shirt hadn't...

I posted this on AITA twice and got removed twice for not following rules. I was deemed AH by the majority of the comments before it got removed, and I can see now why. So I (27M) have this friend, Faith (26F), who I’ve been friends with for almost 11 years. We have this other friend, Joy (28F), and her husband, Fred (22M) who celebrated their first year anniversary back in 2021 and held a small gathering and invited our friend group including Faith and I, and some other friends and family of them. It’s just a small party with food, alcohol, and karaoke. As the end of the night, most of the people in the party were either drunk, asleep, or gone. Faith was long gone, and I decided to stay to help clean up. Some people who are still awake or sober enough offer to help too. While we are cleaning up, a bunch of topics were opened including about Faith. Faith is a great singer, she has what some people say, an angelic voice. And when the topic went to Faith, most of the people were comp...

Little back story, it's been a hard year. I was laid off recently, a loss in the family and just some rather rough moments. Today I threw my 5M son a party at the splash pad at our park. Invited several of his friends, A friend of mine made cupcakes and I ordered pizza. It wasn't the usual party because of financial restrictions but I figured it was something and he'd feel loved. We got to the park and start putting up some balloons a friend brought. The heat this year has been rough but the pavilion is covered and the water feels great and has shade. It was warm but not overly hot. Sunny but overcast. The kids play, cupcakes present and my friends ran to get the pizza. We're only about 15 minutes in. My husband gets up to walk to the car and passes out hitting the ground. Another friend and I pick him up and drag him to the car, blast the AC and try to get some water in him. EMS shows up. At this point my friends are watching the kids and I'm trying to get water...

So I (25m) am in college and a couple semesters back I had a number of classes with this girl, and ended up working on a lab together. Found out her apartment complex was across the street from mine, we became friends and started studying together and hanging out. We were just friends, I was pursuing a different person from one of the classes we had together, and she was super into my roommate, and almost regularly asked if I could help her get together with him. He wasn't interested though. Eventually she dropped it. Early in the friendship, she would randomly talk about boobs or vagina. Not in a sexual way but like, the kinda stuff you might find in a "women of reddit what do you wish men knew about X" thread. Like I used to be a fat kid, like morbidly obese, took some time after highschool to work and save money doing grueling labor and lost like 130 lbs, in college not working all day I noticed I was putting some weight back on. She was getting ready for a 5K and i...

Back in 2021 I had received a package from a man I met on Reddit, C. We had been chatting back and forth inconsistently and at times would do little exchanges since we couldn’t see each other—he’d pick out candles and send them to me, I’d bake cookies and send them to him. Stuff like that. I honestly do not even remember the impetus for him to send this package, maybe college graduation? Anyway, I get this ginormous infrared sauna blanket on my doorstep and I’m easily overwhelmed and I have ADHD. Let’s just say this whole box got shoved in a closet somewhere after I had barely opened it just to confirm that there was, in fact, something resembling a sauna blanket in its original packaging so I didn’t sound stupid when I said thank you. Of course I texted him expressing my gratitude, like “oh my goodness that is so thoughtful. Yes I use it all the time now, it’s basically a self care go-to.” All the shit you would say to someone who got you a gift you don’t use and have not opened. I...

https://www.reddit.com/r/cringepics/comments/15dw4jz/ive_called_my_driving_instructor_pete_for_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 Link to the photo evidence. TIFU by calling my driving instructor 'Pete' for the past 8 months. I only found out today that his name is not Pete, but is in fact, STEVE. I only realised because I got up the driving school page to recommend 'Pete' to a coworker. For further context, every time I've gotten into this man's car I've greeted him with a 'hey pete', and every time I've left I've said 'goodbye Pete'. I've had easily 20 or 30 lessons' worths of calling this poor man Pete when his name is Steve and somehow, even though he has messaged every time with his real name, I've brainlessly carried on calling him Pete like a moron. I do not know how I'll face him next lesson. TL;DR : called and text my driving instru...

This happened earlier tonight. Back story, my wife loves Taylor Swift. We actually had one of our first dates at a Taylor Swift concert. She was SO excited with the Eras tour was announced because she had missed Taylor's last tour, and hadn't seen her perform live since 2015. ​ We were fortunate enough to get into the Verified Fan presale because I've purchased many of Taylor's albums on Vinyl for my wife as gifts. As some of you may have heard the persale was a shitshow and we did not successfully get tickets (looking for tonight 7/29). We again were fortunate to get a 2nd chance at purchasing tickets due to TM trying to save face. This time around TM didn't allow you to choose specific tickets, just the price range you were comfortable with and they would choose the seats for you within a day or so. We successfully got tickets this time. She was so pumped! ​ We have been talking about it for weeks. She spent the previous day getting her outfit decided. We go...

So today, I officially reached a new low. I live in this tiny apartment in the heart of NYC. You know, the kind where the kitchen is a sink, a small counter, and an oven that hasn't been used since the Reagan administration. Anyways, the sink had been clogged for days and I had a pile of dirty dishes accumulating. Here's where the genius stroke hits: Why not wash the dishes in the shower? It seemed like a perfect solution, really. A lot of water, some soap, and hey - I could even multitask and get clean myself in the process. Killing two birds with one stone, right? Wrong. I loaded up the shower floor with the dirty dishes and started my routine. It was going well, until I slipped on a soapy plate. In an attempt to save myself, I grabbed the shower curtain... which of course, came crashing down, taking the curtain rod and all my dishes with it. But that's not even the best part. In the flurry of chaos, the noise woke up my eccentric neighbor who lives across the hall....

The FU didn't happen today, but the saga concluded about an hour ago... I had a pretty tough past weekend, and I was looking to let out a little steam... So I (36M) got back home on Tuesday of this week, and had a bowling league night. It's not your typical league - it's more socially approachable I think. Avg age is probably in the low 30s, and it's a lot of our collective real nights out. I vape to help sleep and with anxiety (it's legal where I live and I have a medical card), but hadn't when I was visiting my parents. I took a tiny puff off of my pen and was feeling very good. We started bowling and as the course of the night went on, I didn't notice how many drinks I had between my own purcahses and friends buying rounds because of being a bit high. As a result, I browned out. Apparently my ex asked to stay the night, which my buddy told me I handled surprisingly well lol, but he ended up driving me in my car to my apt and had his fiance bring him ba...

This was years ago but one time i was contacted by a film maker who was making a surreal short film for an exhibition of Salvador Dali type artworks that was touring Australia at the time. He asked to be able to use my centipedes, tarantulas and scorpions for an extra bit of edge to his content and i'm an invertebrate zoologist and breeder of these animals so i obliged. He came over, got some clips and we got along quite well so he asked if i wanted to come and be part of the exhibit. So, as is the custom; i arrive on the day with a suitcase full of tarantulas not knowing what to expect of the event and i walk in through the front doors and ask a staff looking person where to go. He directs me toward a spiral staircase at the front of the club and at the top of these stairs was some cardboard/wood type panels, presumably to keep the public out so i pushed past a small gap and carried my suitcase between it. While i was walking away, the panel i had just passed fell to the floor s...

So this technically happened a few days ago but there has been a lot of stress between now and then! So I arrived in Zanzibar this week for a week long holiday for my friends 30th birthday. People have flown in from all around the world, The U.K, Germany, Canada, US, Australia to celebrate and we were all super excited. On the first evening we had some disagreements with the Air bnb hosts over the number of rooms and one of the pools not being in use, so we were all pretty annoyed. The main reason was a bedroom that was supposed to sleep 4 of us had a faulty AC unit. So we sent lots of messages and went to bed. When we woke up, the air bnb hosts had arranged for staff to come cook us breakfast, so there were locals from the island there who we had not previously met before. One of them came round and was very friendly and cheerful, was wiping down the sun lounges, asked us how we wanted our eggs, even played the ukulele, basically the opposite of incognito. We all assumed he was hi...

Wife (possibly) cheated with her ex So for context, my wife (F27) and I (M33) have been together for 5 years and married for just over 3 years. We've had some rough spots with arguments and whatnot, but who hasn't? We've never talked about divorce or anything. We had our son last year and life has been pretty good. I never suspected her of cheating or anything despite joking about her "other boyfriend" every now and then. She and I got new phones last weekend because she wanted a new one to take pictures on our first cruise. The cruise went well with no really arguments until the last night right before bed. So all day yesterday we didn't really talk much on the long drive home. Today, she went to her mom's house to sell some of the baby stuff. While she was doing that, I was going to get our old phones ready to ship back for the rebate on the new phones. I was still irritated, so I went through her phone (I know, it was wrong) and found messages with he...

Somebody put me down. 3 days ago I made it known to the world about my fabulous vagina, decorated with glitter accidentally, and how my period came out like one of those bougie drinks. At first, I didn't think much of it, "it'll just pass " I so foolishly thought. Well no, I feel just as stupid as I felt a few days ago, thinking that the glitter won't cause any other damage than just making my pads look like a preschool art project, BUT NOOO. Yeast infection, irritation, It's not like being on my period was bad enough, but now it feels like I have a tree branch on fire up in there as well. I'm sure most of the craft herpes have left me, but their presence was not taken lightly by my body. I just want to go back in time and sit my past self down to have a long talk about sex education and how to take care of my toy, or maybe just slap her across her stupid horny face. It just... hurts. Like I want to cry kind of hurt, and I don't think I will be abl...

i (f19) and my best friend, eva (f19), have been inseparable since 5th grade. her and i are polar opposites, i’m mixed, on the shorter side, with brown eyes and hair, and a bit chunky i’ll admit. while eva is white, blonde hair, green eyes, with a lanky athletic build. she’s very extroverted, i’m on the shyer side, she’s the one that got all the boys attention, i was the supportive best friend. i’ve always thought she was the most attractive girl i’ve had the pleasure of meeting. earlier last week eva said she’s been watching a lot of threesome porn, and started having thoughts about being with another girl. i’m bisexual myself, and pretty shy when it comes to sex, as i only lost my virginity last year and have had one sexual partner since. eva, again, is the exact opposite she’s been sexual since her early teens and has been open about her sex life. we have always joked about being gay for each other, we give each other a quick peck on the lips when we have to go after hanging out, ...

This just happened about ten minutes ago. My fiancé and I after a long day of work decided to go in the pool and drink some wine this evening. After about an hour or so we went upstairs just to change out of our bathing suits. After undressing she playfully does a little booty dance in front of me and then bends over to grab some clothes. At this point I am also not wearing clothes and decide to get up behind her and give her a poke on the butt, not with my finger. She clearly was not expecting this because her immediate reaction was to have her hand go through her legs and smack what was hitting her. The problem was she used all her force to smack me in the balls. I immediately go down to the ground for a couple minutes, and she just keeps nervously laughing as she does when she gets in these kinds of situations. She swears she thought it was my finger poking her. Anyway we are now about to go eat dinner and are laughing about it as I recover. TLDR: Decided to poke my finances butt ...

Hey fellow Redditors, So, this just happened in the last hour, and I can't believe the mess I got myself into. Today, I went to my usual local shop, which is the only one I can walk to, as every other store is a 5 to 10-minute drive away. I've never had any problems there before, except for some drunk people causing a ruckus occasionally. Anyway, I picked up a few items totaling £6 and handed over a £5 note and a £2 coin, making it a total of £7. I was supposed to get £1 change back, right? That's where the trouble started. The cashier insisted I had given them exact change and refused to return the £1. I'm not one to back down easily, so I argued my point, telling them that I gave them £7 and was owed change. To my surprise, another cashier jumped in and called me a liar! I was stunned and suggested they check the till to verify the cash or even review the security cameras to see the transaction. But instead of resolving the issue, they accused me further and ende...

Little bit of background. I (25M) am a generally extroverted and outgoing person. It's really easy to make new friends with a simple fist bump and I've taught martial arts for almost 6 years. However my extrovertedness never translated with women, I've tried to date and got into the talking stage for numerous months only to be told they began talking to somebody else. I would constantly get afraid I was oversharing or texting too much or responding too quickly and all the worrying drained my battery. So I just stopped the whole outgoing personality and focused on my nerdy appearance. I love the smart look of glasses but prefer to wear my contacts. My simple solution was to get fake glasses. Recently I somehow managed to pull all the right cards and managed to go on a few dates with this girl. She's awesome and has been telling me that shyness and glasses are a turn-on. I've told her about my vision being -7 in both eyes but not about the fake glasses because it so...

Obligatory this happened a few years ago, not today. My wife and I lived by the beach in SoCal for a couple of years after we got married. I went down to the beach around sunrise one morning to do some surf fishing and eventually decided to do some swimming. There was absolutely nobody on the beach as far as the eye could see and I wasn't going far, so I felt it was safe to put my wallet, keys, and wedding ring in a pile on my t-shirt and go jump in the water. I had only been married for about six months, so I was paranoid about losing the ring in the water, even though it was pretty tight on my finger. I even slid my car key through the ring to make it less likely to get dropped and lost in the sand when I came back and picked it up. So, feeling all proud of myself for being responsible, I went and jumped in the water for a few minutes. I kept an eye on my stuff, and no one even came onto the beach while I was in the water, let alone came near my stuff. Eventually I got cold and...

This literally just happened, right after I turned 20. I was just having a birthday joint when someone added me on snap. So I check and expect a bot but then it actually responded like a human, not immediately offering their links or whatever. So we start chatting a little and after her reveal of as a stripper it turned sexual and we send some pics back and forth. After a few pics they're now sending my own pics back, with screens of my Instagram saying they'll send it to everyone if I don't pay 5k. The pics dont have my full face but anyone who knows me will probably recognise me anyways. I tried to stall by lying saying I have no money and I'm homeless and addicted and to please not make it any worse. They didn't seem to care and then send a screen of them having send it to a friend of mine. I just responded I can't pay so they might as well. From then on I've stopped opening the messages and rn I'm just hoping they'll get bored of "ruinin...

So this happened today. I have a coworker came Caiden. He has rainbow colored hair and is VERY flamboyantly gay. This is how he identified himself when I first met him. Anyways, he's a pretty chill dude. And he actually works unlike most of the second shift guys. Well I used to play this game called Ninja Gaiden, so I had a thought: Gay+Caiden=Gaiden. I imagined him doing all these 90s video game kung fu moves and it gave me a good chuckle. Kept that all to myself after that intrusive thought, but every time I worked with him that thought would pop into my head and I'd chuckle a bit. Until today. Somebody borrowed our forklift and I needed it to stack a pallet. I looked him square in the eye and said "hey Gaiden, do you know who took the forklift?" He paused for a moment. I started to have visions of meetings with HR, and a few beads of sweat popped out on my forehead. Then he just starts laughing his ass off, and said that was going to be his new nickname from no...

Recently, after a long and stressful foster care journey, my wife and I finally got to adopt our daughter. She’s 5 now and has been with us since she was 3, although it feels like she’s been our family all along. She’s smart, sweet, sassy, and hilarious. We adore this kid! We’re from a small town where adoptions (the actual court proceedings) have historically been very informal and not a big deal. Our daughter is old enough and cognizant enough to understand most of the situation, especially the part about us becoming “forever family” and we (including her counselor) felt like that point should be emphasized and celebrated. We (mainly my wife) put together an adoption ceremony that would rival some weddings I’ve attended! The three of us did a sand ceremony, which we keep on display at home. Around 40 friends and family attended and at the end, our daughter led everyone in a toast (her idea) of sparkling grape juice as the Judge declared us legally family and announced her new, lega...

So first off, this happen about 4 or 5 years ago so not really today. Whenever I would see my friends dad in public I'd always talk to him, because he was just an interesting guy. He ended up telling me one day that he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and didn't have much time left. Well, about a year after that I was talking to that friend and, like I normally would do said "so how's your dad doing? I haven't seen him in a while." I immediately realized what I had done, and after about 10 seconds of silence I made it even worse by saying "I'm guessing it's not well?" Turns out he had died about 6 months before, and needless to say that friend hasn't talked to me since then. TL;DR: asked a friend how his dad was doing, forgetting that he had died about 6 months ago.

Not recent, but a couple years ago and it haunts me to this day. I (M23) was living with my sister who has a daughter. She was about 8 at the time and we have a relatively close relationship and share a love for musical theater. Well, my good friend happened to have a leading role in his university's production of American Idiot. Perfect, a chance for my niece and me to bond. Obviously, I tried to see if the musical was appropriate. The only reviews I could find on the matter said things like "I took my 12 year old son and it was fine." Cool, my niece is notoriously mature with the family joke being she's 8 going on 30. I did know about the swearing in the songs and told the parents. They said it was fine as their daughter had already been exposed to the f bomb. So the day comes and we are super excited. I buy her a churro and we settle in for some quality time together. It was not appropriate. Not remotely. Forget the swearing (f bombs were expected, just not in...

I am currently resting (un) comfortably in a hospital bed, recovering from having some large kidney stones lasered and suctioned out. Because one stone was so large, the kidney is inflamed, and I'm waiting on a second procedure to insert a stent. In order to perform the first procedure, a tube is inserted into the penis to allow the surgeon access to the kidney. Fortunately, this is all done under general anesthesia. The catheter was left in me so the kidney can drain waiting for the second half of my medical journey. As you may imagine, this is not comfortable. Adding insult to injury, my penis is taped to my thigh to help prevent unwanted movement. As we tend to do, while waiting bored in the hospital overnight, I slept. And, like most people, when I sleep, I dream. Penis owners, or those familiar with them, probably see where this autonomous fuck up is about to begin. To those not intimately familiar with a penis, when we dream, we tend to get an erection. Regardless of wha...

My (55M) daughter (21F) still lives at home, but has full autonomy here. But I like to know what's going on, so when she texted that she's bringing a few friends over after school, it wasn't to ask permission... just to let us know there might be a few more people over for dinner. No prob... who, I asked? She mentioned a few names I recognized and one I didn't. Let's call her Sally. Who's Sally? Just another friend from Uni. OK, sounds good, see you later. My idle curiousity led me to Instagram, just wondering who Sally is. I looked up my daughter's IG list of who she follows, and found only one Sally whose profile indicated she attended the same Uni as my daughter. Obviously her. That would've been it, except her profile caught my attention... because unlike most of her friends who have them set on private, this one was wide open to the public and it's one of these typical young-beautiful-woman profiles full of selfies in exotic clothes and poses...

Well, it is as the title reads. I F19 have been incredibly bloated over the last few days, so my first assumption because I haven’t taken a pooped in a while was constipation. So rather than just drinking more water and letting it pass on it’s own. You know let the colon do colon work. I decided to work up the most awful most vile concoction of about 3 things to get things moving way down where the sun don’t shine. I started this journey by going to Kroger and buying a yellow dragonfruit, the dietary fiber in the seeds is supposed to make you shit your brains out, so I bought one and ate the whole thing. Next, I took 3 laxatives. Don’t ask where I got that bright idea from. And finally I drank enough water to make 3 fully grown men piss themselves. After all that all I had to do was wait. Fast forward 2 hours. I blew that porcelain throne up. I mean it was bad. I went to war and barely came out. After a long (25 minutes) battle, I won. I came out of the bathroom to find my three young...

So I was in summer school because I failed my first semester of history. For having to be in the same classroom for 4 hours straight every day it was actually going pretty well. Until now. For some more context, this class had a majority of hispanic students. I was some white kid in the corner who was kind of funny sometimes. We were playing a Kahoot, and this girl (who was hispanic) made her name the racial slur that would be derogatory towards hispanic people. I thought it was meant to rhyme with “weiner” - as if it was like a dick joke or something. It was not! Because of my very poor misinterpretation of this word, I decided to yell out the word in a cheering way because the girl had moved up to the top three. Immediately the room went absolutely silent and everyone was staring at me. I look over to my friend with a very confused look on my face and she says “Dude that’s like the N word but for hispanic people”. I started to momentarily profusely apologize and put my head down for...

Today at work I parked next to the curb, behind parked cars in parking lanes. The building I work at has multiple companies occupying them and the parking has been extremely limited. Being the lazy person I am, instead of parking across the street in the other parking lot, I parked right in front of my building behind the parking lanes. To be fair, I do think there is plenty of room to back out without hitting my car, but today I was proven wrong. Luckily the lady did come and find me to report the damage, which was very big on her part to do considering she could’ve easily ran. But now I feel like a douche because she’s going to take all the blame and pay out. I filed a claim on instinct, and didn’t think about maybe offering for her to replace my tail light omitting insurance. I’ll never park like that again, the guilt is settling in. And that goes for everybody else too, don’t park like an idiot. TL;DR - I parked against the curb behind parking lanes and was backed into.

Im sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, I'm doing this on my phone. ​ So this didn't happen today but happened last night, for some backstory, I met this guy online about 2 months ago, he was a friend of a friend from college that I met online in my college friend's discord server. We would game together and generally have a good time. So this week I had to go on a work trip from Monday to Wednesday, I realized that the city I was going to for the trip was in the same town where this guy lived. I contacted him on Discord to let him know I was in town and that we had made plans to hang out on Tuesday night since it would be my last night in the area. Tuesday came around and we finalized the rest of the plans; what we were going to do that night, where, and when. You know, the whole schpeel. We decided that after I finish work he was going to pick me up, get some food, buy some weed, and just chill playing switch games for the rest of the night. He picked m...

Today I fucked up by turning my insides into a psychedelic art exhibit with purple and white star/hexagon glitter. This all started a couple of weeks ago, but I just bought my first dildo. I wanted to spice up my toy collection, this is KEY to how I set up my own accidental womb sorority party. A week AFTER buying the dildo, I was out at the store buying me and my roommates some groceries, and at the front counter, I noticed in the corner of my eye that this water stress ball, it was soft and was layered with these plastic bumps, without a second thought my horny ass bought it; to take it home and cut it open. I didn't even take the time to scrap off the glitter on the inside before I tied the new, bumpy homemade condom to the dildo. I thought I had my genius Einstein moment there, that I just made this sex-toy experience 100% better (plot twist. it didn't do anything and I just ruined a perfectly good stress ball for no reason) But the fuck up happens later, you see I didn...

obligatory "this happened a few years ago" i own 5 cats, but at the time of this story i owned 4. out of my four cats, two were old, and two were young. the young cats LOVE belly rubs. they also only attack when playing, they dont try to hurt you ever. one of the older cats also loves belly rubs. its adorable. she also never attacks, even when being given tablets. the OTHER older cat HATES belly rubs. he will dig his front claws into your hand and kick you with the back. hes fine with other places, just not his belly. well one day, he was on my mums bed, on his side, his big fat belly sticking out. so what did i, in my infinite wisdom do? i KISSED IT. yeah he... he did not like that. he clawed my eyelid. luckily i was speedy enough to close my eye. i tried covering my face with a blanket but i was too late. there was a piece of ny eyelid skin dangling off. i had to go to A&E (british equivalent of the ER) and they injected local anaesthetic into my eyelid befo...

I recently bought a new smartwatch and have been wearing it almost close to 24/7, including when I sleep. I've only had it for about a week, so I'm still getting used to all the controls. This morning at around 3:30am I hear my watch going off. I dont know how it happened but it asked if I was in an emergency and instead of tapping cancel, I tapped the option to send all my emergency contacts andSOS message. My grandpa is one of my emergency contacts and called me as I was frantically texting everyone I was okay. After that, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I'm gonna be running on 3 hrs of sleep all day. TL;DR: I accidentally sent out an SOS message to all my emergency contacts, disrupted my grandparents sleep and am running on about a total of 3 hours of sleep.

I woke up this morning with my husband in our tent at our camp site. We woke up at around 5:30AM and we figured we would use the campsite’s shower before we sent him off to work. As we walked through the camp, it was super quiet and there were no people anywhere! A perfect opportunity to have a quicky while we shower! Once we arrived at the showers, we discovered that it takes only loonies ($1 coins) and no other types of coins! We had a few loonies, but not enough to have a full shower for the two of us. I took the coins and started the shower, and he ran back to get more coins from the car. This is where I fucked up! Lol. When I started the shower, I obviously left the door of the stall open so hubby could come in when he got back. He ended up taking a really long time (One of our children woke up) and I ran out of shower time. Few minutes after the water stopped, I heard some noise from the door of the shower stall who I of course assumed would be my husband rushing back. It was...

TIFU when my wife (47f) ordered a new office chair for her SAO work space. Unfortunately they sent the wrong seat cushion for the chair she ordered. I (44m) tried to assemble the chair for her but the screw holes on the seat cushion were too far apart for the screw holes on the arm rest. Now I had been following the directions until now and have already inserted the lift into the seat cushion and we needed to pull it apart to return the wrong seat cushion. I gripped the seat cushion while my wife gripped the wheel base. She unfortunately did not brace herself as she pulled, and when it popped off she fall backwards. Onto the corner of a step stool.... the corner.... She screamed as loud as when she broke her ankle. Unfortunately she also screamed that she broke her ass and I couldn't help but giggle. I am forever ashamed for the giggles. She had to work on her old chair all day and her bruise on her ass is unfortunately huge. Hopefully her ass heals soon and her forgiveness come...

I have been talking to this older woman I met on Doublist for a few days now and we planned to meet. One of her biggest conditions for meeting up with someone was that they had to be able to host. Well, I (24M) still live with my parents and the house can be empty from time to time. After days one nonstop texting and masturbating over the phone we both got horny and decided to meet today. We were both getting ready and exchanged photos, I gave her an address relatively close to mine but not exactly mine (gotta be safe out here) and everything was good. While we were both getting ready, we were asking each other questions for reassurance because you never know when it comes to people you meet online. Right as she was about to leave I nervously told her that there might be an issue sneaking her in because of the timing of people coming back to the house. That threw her off completely and she suddenly wasn't interested in coming over. The more I talked the worse it got and she just s...

This is probably gonna sound dumb and if there is a better place to make this post let me know. I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone had some advice. A couple months ago I met this amazing girl due to a college program and we hit it off. We became great friends and in all honesty she was my type but I thought nothing would ever happen between us so I thought we could just hang out and chill. Over time I feel like I kept falling harder and harder but I kept trying to convince myself to get over it. Until about a month ago when I blurted it out that I had feelings for her, and the worst part is that she didn’t really reject me. She admitted she was kinda into me as well but she wasn’t in the mindset of dating rn so I tried to play it cool. We started hanging out more and I realize we kinda started to act like a couple. During all this there are a ton of guys just throwing themselves at her. When I say this girl is the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen I am making ...

Hey fellow Redditors, I have an embarrassing story that happened today at my workplace, and I'm still overthinking if there's going to be any consequences. I work as an IT consultant, and today, a female co-worker came to me seeking help with her task. After reviewing her code, I made some changes to fix the issues. While she was testing the changes, I opened r/place to contribute and check what's going on. Normally, I'd never browse Reddit at work since I disabled the NSFW filter. However, I figured I'd be safe since I had r/place bookmarked and there was no real NSFW content on the canvas. Oh boy, how wrong was I! My co-worker noticed all the cute artworks and asked what I was doing, so I explained Reddit and the fun event happening on r/place . She seemed interested and wanted to place her pixel on the canvas. Without thinking much, I handed her the mouse. Big mistake! I'm always using very high DPI (mouse speed) so it was hard for her to control preci...

I've been taking guitar lessons, today was my last lesson and through out the lessons I didn't feel like I've learnt much, the teacher was so nice and friendly but he used to give me random techniques and beats every lesson, and he gave me a book that I thought we would follow, but we barely did, sometimes he used to forget he gave this lesson before and give me the same lesson multiple times but adding some new techniques and beats and as always I didnt feel like I've learnt much, the lessons were kinda a mess, very random, I used to learn way more when I was self-learning. Although my teacher was so friendly and nice (a bit sexist sometimes but that doesnt matter), I never told him how I was feeling lost taking these lessons, I never said anything I acted like I'm learning and moved on every lesson. Today, when I was in the bus after I finished my last lesson I thought that I have to write a review that describes my experience and everything so I gave them 3 sta...

TIFU by lying to my mom about my car being impounded. My car was impounded a couple days ago on a Saturday, I didn't find out until Sunday (office is closed weekends, I looked my car up online), and today I found out that I cannot pick up the car because it's registered under her name(she bought the car for me when I was 17, I'm 23 now). This is a colossal FU because if I had been honest from the beginning, we could have figured this all out and I'd have my car back today, but she's out of town dealing with funeral arrangements. To add to the FU, my mom just so happened to leave her wallet with her ID in the vehicle on Friday so I can't even take it to a notary to get a letter with her permission for me to retrieve the vehicle. The FU started when I lied originally on that Saturday because she asked me to look for her ID - I said car was in the shop; continued to lie onto Sunday, and came full circle as I just confessed to my mom a few minutes ago. If there...

For context my girlfriend was always interested in atomic bombs so when the new movie "Oppenheimer" was released we immediately went to a local cinema to watch it. So today a conversation about the movie came up between me and my girlfriend that lead to her confessing about ranking all of her previous boyfriends male part as an atomic bomb. So here is my fuck up. I was curious at this point so I asked what did she rank mine. I'll admit it, my warrior is not the biggest, but I've always tought that it was an avarage size so I wasn't insecure about it. She said that she would've ranked it as "little boy" but that's still relatively big so she said "W54" which apparently is the smallest one ever used. She than tried comfort me by saying that its okay and that she is satisfied and all that, but it kinda left me self-conscious and a bit insecure. I'm using a throwaway because I don't want to post how small my part is on my main pa...

I have been in love with this woman since we were 12 years old, we're 37 now, weve been married, had 2 kids, split and eventually divorced. I initiated the split, essentially due to untreated, poor mental health on both our parts. If I hadn't, one of us would've ended up dead. We've both since agreed that it was the right thing to do. The problem is that I never stopped loving her, but I did close that part of me off for a very long time or we would've ended up back where we used to be. In the 5 years since we've split, we've both grown individually, sorted out mental health, careers, everything. Here comes the fuck up. A week ago we were drunk and slept together. It was amazing. The chemistry was still there and everything felt right. Again, the following night, while sober we did it again. This stirrred up all my feelings for her, in a big way. It was good tho, and we seemed good together, I thought this meant we were in a good position and had similar...

I've always been captivated by the beauty and danger of volcanoes, and this time, I was going to get closer to the lava than I've been. Accompanied by experienced guides, we trekked up the rugged terrain towards the active volcano's crater. The heat was already intense, and as we approached the edge, my heart raced with excitement and awe. The lava lake before me glowed with an otherworldly brilliance, its fiery hues dancing in the sunlight. The guides emphasized the importance of safety, warning us to keep a safe distance from the molten lava. But something inside me urged me to experience it up close, to feel the raw power of nature with my own hands. Ignoring the cautious voice in my head, I extended my gloved hand towards the mesmerizing molten river. The moment my fingers brushed the surface, an unimaginable pain shot through my hand. It was like touching the sun itself – an intense, scorching heat that I could not have prepared for. Panicking, I jerked my hand ba...

Hello everyone, With the news that reddit is depreciating its award system we need to hand out all the coins we have in our coin bank before they are no longer valid. We'd like to give them all back to you, our subreddit subscribers. Please post a comment in this thread and we'll hand out the awards in a few days. We have about 150.000 coins in our coin bank and that means we can give away 83 mod awards. A mod award will let you browse reddit ad-free for one month so that's kinda nice.

We live in an apartment building where every floor is the exact same layout, and has the exact same common area decor. I had taken some trash down to the dumpster, and on the way back up to the 3rd floor was browsin my phone. The elevator stops, and one of my neighbors gets on. So I get off the elevator, and walk to my apartment like normal...Still not paying any attention to my surronduings. I open the door, and see a cat walk across the living room that looks like one of ours, but then I noticed that the apartment was very dimly lit, and the couch was not infact our couch. I only entered inside the doorway, and then I noped the fuck out of there asap, and back up to the correct floor which my apartment is on. I am unsure if anyone was home or not, but didnt stick around long enough to find out. Really fucking embrassing, but hopefully if anyone does come asking, I can just applogize profusely. TL:DR: Im a dum dum and walked into the wrong apartment because I was staring at my pho...